论文部分内容阅读
My world collapsed at the age of twelve. My parents separated and it was hard for me. Then I experienced something even harder: losing somebody I loved very much.
In my opinion “cancer” is the worst six-letter word in the whole dictionary. My mom was first1)diagnosed with mouth cancer. She spent Mother’s Day in the hospital that year recovering from major surgery. Then four months later she was diagnosed with lung cancer. I remember the day vividly. When I came home that day from school, my mom’s side of the family was there. They were all crying. My mom said “come and sit by me,” and she started crying too. My heart began to pound really hard and my eyes were full of tears. My mother was too upset to explain and my grandfather told me that she only had a short time to live.
One sunny day, I was called out of school and taken to hospital. When I stepped out of the elevator at the hospital, I took a deep breath. My grandfather came out of my mom’s room and he was crying. I started to shake. He came up to me and said, “She’s gone. She died.” I tried to laugh because I didn’t want it to be true. The pain I felt was like no other. Then everything went so fast that I did not have time to accept the fact that I was left alone. I hated everyone and everything. It overwhelmed me that I was 2)cast away by Fate.
I met a few guys that 3)turned me on to some 4)meth one night. I wasn’t afraid of it because I knew I had nothing to lose. It was a good way to escape pain in life.
However, addiction happened quickly. Within days, all I cared about was more meth. I started shooting meth. I would stay up for days at a time. I quit eating. I was so 5)paranoid that it almost6)incapacitated me. I saw white vans everywhere that I knew were filled with people trying to catch me. I became so 7)delusional and paranoid that I tried to get home. But I could not do it. I needed more drugs. Time went on and my friends started disappearing. I would beg my dad for money for food or medicine to buy meth. Finally one of my friends called my dad to get me home. We got in his car and headed straight home and had I not, I surely would have been dead within weeks. I was8)hospitalized to start taking medicine that would hopefully cure my addiction.
It was so tough that the thought of suicide struck me. I remembered my mom who used to love and encourage me unconditionally, no matter what trouble I had caused. “9)You can rock it,” she used to say when I was depressed and upset. I knew I couldn’t kill myself. I didn’t want to disappoint her. I knew she would be watching me somewhere else. I would not only rely on medicine to help my addiction. I would have to fight my addiction with my mind, too. The desire for survival occurred to me. What I went through next was really painful and horrible. The desire was so strong that I could hardly resist. I 10)fainted several times during the cure. I took medicine to 11)hold my addiction at bay, and the real strength I maintained was that I took action and refused to let addiction ruin my life. I would not want to be defeated by Fate. After being in the treatment center for what seemed like an eternity, I finally got my life back to normal. Of course my life could still be a struggle, but I 12)pulled through it with determination and desire for survival. Everyone had challenges in life and they survived. So would I.
I had plans for myself. I wanted to go back to school and even planned to go to college. I knew my mom would still be proud of me, for I survived after all I had been through. She knew I was a fighter, 13)getting the upper hand at war with Fate. I am glad I made it.
十二岁那年,我的世界坍塌了。父母离异,这对我打击很大。接着,我还得面对更大的打击:失去深爱的人。
在我看来,“癌症”是整本字典中最糟糕的两个字。我母亲最初被诊断患了口腔癌。那年母亲节,她是在医院度过的,做完大手术,在康复中。四个月后,她又被诊断出患了肺癌。我还清晰地记得那天的情景。那天,我从学校回到家,母亲那边的亲属过来了。他们都在哭。母亲说:“过来,坐在我旁边。”然后她也开始哭。我的心开始猛跳,我的眼里满是泪水。母亲伤心得没法向我解释,外祖父告诉我,她剩下的日子不多了。
一个阳光灿烂的日子,我被叫出学校并带到医院。当我走出医院里的电梯时,我深吸了一口气。外祖父走出我母亲的房间,他正在哭泣。我开始发抖。他走向我,说道:“她走了。她去世了。”我试图大笑,因为我不希望那是真的。我感觉到一种前所未有的痛。接下来的一切发生得这么快,我还没有任何准备就得接受一个事实:我孤身一人了。我讨厌所有人和事。我被命运之神抛弃了,这个念头萦绕在我心头。
有个晚上,我遇见了一些家伙,他们引起了我对甲安菲他明的兴趣。我对它毫无惧色,因为我知道自己没什么可失去的了。而那不失为一种逃避人生苦楚的好方法。
然而,很快毒瘾就形成了。才几天的功夫,我就变得一心想要更多的甲安菲他明。我开始注射甲安菲他明。我会好几天都不睡觉。我不吃东西。我疑心妄想严重到几乎丧失任何能力。我看见到处都是白色小货车,我觉得里面都是想抓我的人。我变得幻觉妄想重重,我试图回家去。但我不能这么做。我需要更多的毒品。渐渐地,我的朋友们开始远离我。我恳求我父亲给我钱买食物或者药物,其实我拿那钱去买甲安菲他明。最后,我的一个朋友打电话给我父亲让他带我回家。我们上了他的车,直往家里奔。如果没回家,不出几个星期我肯定会丧命。我被送进医院,开始接受药物治疗,期望这样可以戒掉我的毒瘾。
戒毒的个中艰难可想而知,我甚至动了自杀的念头。我记起母亲,以前无论我惹了什么麻烦,她都无条件地爱我和鼓励我。“你能做到的。”过去,当我感觉沮丧和心烦时,她就会这样说。我知道我不能死。我不想令她失望。我知道她在别的某个地方注视着我。我不能仅仅依靠药物来帮助克服毒瘾。我还要用自己的意志来和毒瘾抗争。求生的欲望在心中燃起。我接下来经历的事情真的很痛苦很可怕。对毒品的渴求如此强烈让我几乎抵抗不住。在治疗过程中,我晕倒过好几次。我吃药来控制毒瘾。而让我坚持下来的真正动力在于自己采取行动来拒绝让毒瘾毁掉我的生活。我不想被命运打败。住在治疗中心的那段日子就像永无止境,而最终我让生活回到了正轨。当然,我的人生仍可能是一场挣扎,但我凭着决心和对生存的渴望最终度过了难关。每个人一生中都会遇到挑战,他们都熬过来了。我也一样。
我为自己制定了计划。我想回到学校,甚至计划读大学。我知道我母亲仍会为我感到自豪,因为在经历那一切之后,我熬过来了。她知道我是个勇士,在和命运的这场交战中,我占了上风。我很高兴我做到了。
In my opinion “cancer” is the worst six-letter word in the whole dictionary. My mom was first1)diagnosed with mouth cancer. She spent Mother’s Day in the hospital that year recovering from major surgery. Then four months later she was diagnosed with lung cancer. I remember the day vividly. When I came home that day from school, my mom’s side of the family was there. They were all crying. My mom said “come and sit by me,” and she started crying too. My heart began to pound really hard and my eyes were full of tears. My mother was too upset to explain and my grandfather told me that she only had a short time to live.
One sunny day, I was called out of school and taken to hospital. When I stepped out of the elevator at the hospital, I took a deep breath. My grandfather came out of my mom’s room and he was crying. I started to shake. He came up to me and said, “She’s gone. She died.” I tried to laugh because I didn’t want it to be true. The pain I felt was like no other. Then everything went so fast that I did not have time to accept the fact that I was left alone. I hated everyone and everything. It overwhelmed me that I was 2)cast away by Fate.
I met a few guys that 3)turned me on to some 4)meth one night. I wasn’t afraid of it because I knew I had nothing to lose. It was a good way to escape pain in life.
However, addiction happened quickly. Within days, all I cared about was more meth. I started shooting meth. I would stay up for days at a time. I quit eating. I was so 5)paranoid that it almost6)incapacitated me. I saw white vans everywhere that I knew were filled with people trying to catch me. I became so 7)delusional and paranoid that I tried to get home. But I could not do it. I needed more drugs. Time went on and my friends started disappearing. I would beg my dad for money for food or medicine to buy meth. Finally one of my friends called my dad to get me home. We got in his car and headed straight home and had I not, I surely would have been dead within weeks. I was8)hospitalized to start taking medicine that would hopefully cure my addiction.
It was so tough that the thought of suicide struck me. I remembered my mom who used to love and encourage me unconditionally, no matter what trouble I had caused. “9)You can rock it,” she used to say when I was depressed and upset. I knew I couldn’t kill myself. I didn’t want to disappoint her. I knew she would be watching me somewhere else. I would not only rely on medicine to help my addiction. I would have to fight my addiction with my mind, too. The desire for survival occurred to me. What I went through next was really painful and horrible. The desire was so strong that I could hardly resist. I 10)fainted several times during the cure. I took medicine to 11)hold my addiction at bay, and the real strength I maintained was that I took action and refused to let addiction ruin my life. I would not want to be defeated by Fate. After being in the treatment center for what seemed like an eternity, I finally got my life back to normal. Of course my life could still be a struggle, but I 12)pulled through it with determination and desire for survival. Everyone had challenges in life and they survived. So would I.
I had plans for myself. I wanted to go back to school and even planned to go to college. I knew my mom would still be proud of me, for I survived after all I had been through. She knew I was a fighter, 13)getting the upper hand at war with Fate. I am glad I made it.
十二岁那年,我的世界坍塌了。父母离异,这对我打击很大。接着,我还得面对更大的打击:失去深爱的人。
在我看来,“癌症”是整本字典中最糟糕的两个字。我母亲最初被诊断患了口腔癌。那年母亲节,她是在医院度过的,做完大手术,在康复中。四个月后,她又被诊断出患了肺癌。我还清晰地记得那天的情景。那天,我从学校回到家,母亲那边的亲属过来了。他们都在哭。母亲说:“过来,坐在我旁边。”然后她也开始哭。我的心开始猛跳,我的眼里满是泪水。母亲伤心得没法向我解释,外祖父告诉我,她剩下的日子不多了。
一个阳光灿烂的日子,我被叫出学校并带到医院。当我走出医院里的电梯时,我深吸了一口气。外祖父走出我母亲的房间,他正在哭泣。我开始发抖。他走向我,说道:“她走了。她去世了。”我试图大笑,因为我不希望那是真的。我感觉到一种前所未有的痛。接下来的一切发生得这么快,我还没有任何准备就得接受一个事实:我孤身一人了。我讨厌所有人和事。我被命运之神抛弃了,这个念头萦绕在我心头。
有个晚上,我遇见了一些家伙,他们引起了我对甲安菲他明的兴趣。我对它毫无惧色,因为我知道自己没什么可失去的了。而那不失为一种逃避人生苦楚的好方法。
然而,很快毒瘾就形成了。才几天的功夫,我就变得一心想要更多的甲安菲他明。我开始注射甲安菲他明。我会好几天都不睡觉。我不吃东西。我疑心妄想严重到几乎丧失任何能力。我看见到处都是白色小货车,我觉得里面都是想抓我的人。我变得幻觉妄想重重,我试图回家去。但我不能这么做。我需要更多的毒品。渐渐地,我的朋友们开始远离我。我恳求我父亲给我钱买食物或者药物,其实我拿那钱去买甲安菲他明。最后,我的一个朋友打电话给我父亲让他带我回家。我们上了他的车,直往家里奔。如果没回家,不出几个星期我肯定会丧命。我被送进医院,开始接受药物治疗,期望这样可以戒掉我的毒瘾。
戒毒的个中艰难可想而知,我甚至动了自杀的念头。我记起母亲,以前无论我惹了什么麻烦,她都无条件地爱我和鼓励我。“你能做到的。”过去,当我感觉沮丧和心烦时,她就会这样说。我知道我不能死。我不想令她失望。我知道她在别的某个地方注视着我。我不能仅仅依靠药物来帮助克服毒瘾。我还要用自己的意志来和毒瘾抗争。求生的欲望在心中燃起。我接下来经历的事情真的很痛苦很可怕。对毒品的渴求如此强烈让我几乎抵抗不住。在治疗过程中,我晕倒过好几次。我吃药来控制毒瘾。而让我坚持下来的真正动力在于自己采取行动来拒绝让毒瘾毁掉我的生活。我不想被命运打败。住在治疗中心的那段日子就像永无止境,而最终我让生活回到了正轨。当然,我的人生仍可能是一场挣扎,但我凭着决心和对生存的渴望最终度过了难关。每个人一生中都会遇到挑战,他们都熬过来了。我也一样。
我为自己制定了计划。我想回到学校,甚至计划读大学。我知道我母亲仍会为我感到自豪,因为在经历那一切之后,我熬过来了。她知道我是个勇士,在和命运的这场交战中,我占了上风。我很高兴我做到了。