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高三同学在紧张地复习备考,估计每天的套题让大家已经快抬不起头来了,但是切记:不能只低头拉车,不抬头看路,否则结果会事倍功半。
那么考生该如何去复习高考英语作文呢?是一味地多背范文。或是一味地多写作文就行了吗?其实不然,在这里要提醒各位考生的是,复习高考英语作文首先要抓住的就是历年来的写作要求和评分标准,只有明确了各项规定后,才能知晓英语作文中的忌讳。从而才能在平时的复习中,把握住写作方向,尽可能的获取高分。
一、写作要求
高考书面表达作为信息输出的一项,已经随时代发展而越发显出它的作用。课程标准要求试题应能从语言应用的实际出发,体现技能的综合性。不论是阅读答题(鲁、湘、沪)、中译英(沪)、英译中(鲁)、阅读归纳(粤)、阅读写文(粤),信息转换(皖、苏、湘),对话填空(赣)都落实在清楚、连贯地传达信息,表达意思,表达核心。具体到短文写作,考试中心颁行的考试大纲对写的基本要求是:
1.清楚连贯地递传达信息,表达意思
2.有效运用所学语言知识。
当前全国推行的课程标准对写的描述是:
1.能根据所读文章进行转述或写摘要;
2.根据文字、图画及图表提供的信息写短文或报告;
3.能写语意连贯结构完整的短:文,叙述事情或表达观点和态度;
4.能在写作中做到文体规范。
同学们写文时应能:
1.准确使用语法和词汇
语言准确与否是写作中不可忽视的一个重要方面,它直接或间接影响信息的准确传输,应用语法结构和词汇的准确程度是写作评分标准中的一项重要内容。
2.使用一定的句型、词汇,清楚、连贯地表达自己的意思
任何_篇文章都需要有一个主题,作者应该围绕该主题,借助一些句型、词汇等的支持,清楚、连贯地表达自己的思想。
二、评分标准
当前,在高考评分日寸,明确以下面5点作为赋分标准:
1.内容清楚连贯;
2.结构完整;
3.逻辑性强;
4.主题突出;
5.用词及文体恰当。
考试中心将25分的书面表达分为5个档次。
(1)最高档次21~25分,标准是:
完全完成了试题规定的任务,包括覆盖所有内容要点;应用了较多的语法结构和词汇语法结构和词汇方面有些许错误,但是为尽力使用较复杂结构或较高级词汇所致,具有较强的语言运用能力;有效地使用了语句间的连接成分,使全文结构紧凑;完全达到了写作目的。
(2)第四档16-20分,标准是:
完成了试题规定的任务,虽漏掉一两个次重点,但覆盖所有主要内容;应用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的要求;语法结构或词汇方面应用基本准确,些许错误主要是因尝试较复杂语言结构或词汇所致;应用简单语句间连接成份,使全文结构紧凑,达到了预期写作目的。
(3)第三档11-15分,标准是:
基本完成了试题规定的任务,虽漏掉一些内容,但是覆盖所有内容;应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求;有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误,但不影响理解;应用简单的语句间连接成份,使全文内容连贯;整体而言,基本达到了预期的写作目的。
(4)第二档6-10分,标准是:
未恰当完成试题规定的任务,漏掉或未描述清楚一些主要内容,写了一些无关的内容;语法结构单调,词汇项目有限;有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误,影响了对写作内容的理解;较少使用语句间的连接成份,内容缺少连贯性,信息未能清楚地传达给读者。
(5)第一档1-5分,标准是:
未能完成试题规定的任务,明显漏掉主要内容,写了一些无关内容,原因可能是未能理解试题要求;语法结构单调,词汇项目有限;较多语法结构或词汇方面的错误,影响了对写作内容的理解;缺乏语句间的连接成份,内容不连贯,信息未能传达给读者。
(6)0分作文,标准是:
未能传达给读者任何信息,内容太少,无法评判;写的内容均与所要求内容无关或所写内容无法看清。
各单独命题省市根据该题项的具体分数在保持大原则的基础上作了相应的调整,比如北京第一篇情景作文满分20,也是5档,分别为18-20分,15-17分,12-14分,6-11分,1-5分,0分。第二篇发散性思维短文满分15分,就只有4个档次了。
三、检测方式
1.短文写作(日记小故事):
2.实用性写作(卡片、信件、说明、留言、填写、表格):
3.图文信息转换(图表描述、信息解读、写配图说明):
4.接续完成文段:
5.写电子邮件:
6.写内容提要。
四、掌握原则,把握写作方向
根据英语课程标准对于短文写作的命题是建立在实际应用的基础上,写作任务、话题、文体等应与高中学生认知能力发展、生活体验和语言能力相适应。换言之,要求所拟题目应当贴近高中生生活,容易表达,所描述或评述的是应当发生过、正发生,或很快能发生的。
纵观近年各份试卷的写作命题绝大多数符合上述要求。也有脱离学生生活实际的情况,比如:某省曾经出过用英语向全省中学生发倡议书,提倡创和谐社会的考题;另一省的在高三成人仪式上发言。100个中文字尚且说不明白,更不用说100个英文词了。歌颂时代主旋律决不意味脱离考生生活现实,建议考生今后选题练笔日寸一定把握前面的原则。
那么,我们该如何去复习英语作文呢,除了要掌握好近年的命题原则外,我建议考生还应该掌握好评分标准,根据高考场上的评分标准来进行平时的练笔:
例如:北京2010年情景作文(满分20分)
假设你是育才中学学生会主席,你校将举办一次英语演讲比赛(speech contest),想要邀请附近某大学外籍教授Smith女士来做评委,参考以下通知,给她写一封信:主题《人与自然》。时间:6月15号下午2点至五点。地点:501教室。参赛选手:10名学生。联系人李华电话:44876655。欢迎大家光临。
Dear Ms.Smith,
With best wishes.
Yours,
Lihua
注:具体范文略
文体:记叙文,不必要题目;因为是周记,确定主体时态为过去时。至于叫李华,哪个学校就没有必要陈述了,又不是自我推介。画的顺序和全过程,说明不可倒插写,也不能漏掉某些情节。
1.根据分数等级来评析:
19分:如果以25分计,则属于21-25分档的上限,23或24分。ately, the intemet helped us a lot.
Having got the information about the train, I went to the train station to buy tickets. It seemed that many people were planning to travel forthe sake bf the short weekend.
Next come the most troublesome part. Irummaged a large suitcase for packing. I referred from the intemet and made a specific list ofthings to corry. My grandma prepared T-shirtsand shorts and slippers becouse of the hot wea-ther. I went to the post office to buy them a mapof Bei Daihe which allowed them to lead their tripfreely. So far as I could consider, I packed themtwo sunglasses. Finally grandma rememberedto take an umbrella with them in cose it mined.
Finally, it was time to set off. I accompan-ied my grandparents to the train station to seethem off. They were very happy and excited forthe expected tdp to Bei Daihe. Waving my hand,I saw the train became smaller and smaller, tin-ally disappeared.
I was very proud of myself in that I organ-ized the whole trip. The broad smiles on mygrandparents' faces delighted me. And I de-cided to do more for them in the future.
点评:此文很好地完成了试题规定的任务,达到预期的写作目的,覆盖了所有的要点及细节。句式和词汇丰富,表达较地道,表现较高语言运用能力,特别是第一段的叙述。内容连贯,结构紧凑,有极个别错误但为表达丰富内容所致。由于北京的行文不设定上限,所以长点儿没关系。
18分:仍折合21分以上,可23左右。
Last weekend, I helped my grandparentsprepare their tdp to Beidaihe. In order to have afull pre.paration for the trip, I searched the Inter-net to get some useful information. Sitting be-fore the computer, we had so many questions toask. My grandparents paid attention to the ho-tels and weather, while I was concemed aboutthe train tickets.
After collecting the information, I succeed-ed in buying two tickets to the destination on myown. Luckily, I got the final two at the place
Questions flooded every inch of our mindat first. There were so many things that had tobe taken into consideration. What would theweather be like? What was the pdce of the train?Even hotel booking was a vital problem. Fortun-where the tickets were sold. ( 好的句子)
Besides helping my grandma to preparethe things for the trip, I also took a map of Be-idaihe so as to plan a specific and enjoyablepath of the joumey. And I reminded her of takingumbrellas and sunglasses in case the weatherwould be changeable.
Two days later, my grandparents set outto the place which they admired. When theysettled themselves well on the train, I expressedmy best wishes to them and said goodbye.They were also grateful for what I did for themand spoke highly of me. I was delighted I coulddid them a favor in return. After all, they devotedmuch to my growth. Seeing the pleasant facialexpression on their faces, I couldn't help smi-ling,(划线的地方是属于文章中多余之处,前者冗赘;后者是祖孙关系,不要用这么客气的表达。)
点评:完成了试题规定的任务,达到了预期的写作目的,覆盖了所有的要点,有细节支持,使用句式和词汇多样,表达内容连贯。结构紧凑,虽有个别的不足,但无伤大雅。
17分:相当于20分。
It was a really busy weekend. When mygrandparents decided to pay a visit to Beidaihe,I was searching for information on the Intemet as quickly as possible. I had to ensure some in-formation including the train tickets, hotels andweather that ray grandparents questioned me.After that, I went to the station to buy two'ticketsfrom Beijing to Beidaihe. It wasn't too long before I went back home. I also had to check thethings that my grandparents should take. Whilemy grandpa was looking for things, my grandmaand I packed the bag. After the clothes and sho-es were put in the bag, my grandma remindedme of the umbrella to avoid the rain. When themost important thing map was found, every-thing was in place. Eady inthe next morning, mygrandparents were taking the train. They werevery happy to the thing I had prepared for them.Seeing the train leave, I felt very proud of my-self.
点评:完成了试题规定的任务,达到了预期的写作目的,覆盖了所有的要点,运用的句式和词汇能满足任务的要求。语法和用词基本准确,少许错误为尽可能表达丰富内容所致,所写内容连贯。划线处:Ioavoidthe rain没必要,Whenthemostthingmap句也可不写,in不要,When句不必进行时,这样用也不生动,坐在车上说再见就行了,不必感念我事先的准备。
15分:折合18或19分
Last weekend, I helped my grandparentsprepare their tdp to Beidaihe.
First ofall, I surfed the Intemet to get someinformation about the tdp. I searched the cast ofhotel and train tickets and the condition of wea-ther. Then I bought two tickets at the station.Next, I help them prepare their luggage. I andmy grandma put a map,
two sunglasses,sweaters, laptops and an umbrellas into thebag. Finally, I saw them off on the platform atnight.
I thought what I did was very meaningful.And I was satisfied with myself for doing thesethings.
点评:完成了试题规定的任务,达到了预期的写作目的,覆盖了所有的要点,并有细节支持。语言简洁明确,质量尚高。运用的句式和词汇能满足任务的要求,但是,达不到内容丰富的要求,有时态错,不符合英语语用习惯I andmy grandmo,不必让两位老人带上电脑,加重行李负担,虽然有可能是时髦长者,最后一段的前一句没有必要,只写我很满意我所做的就行了,Ithoughtwhatldidwasmeaningful,写文要注意思想性,但用的地方不恰当。
14分:折合16或仃分
Last weekend, I helped my grandparentsprepare their tdp to Beidaihe.
On Saturday morning, I search some in._-formations about Beidaihe on the Intemet. Theweather would be nice dudng their tdp in Be-idaihe. I booked a room for them in a hotel whichis near the sea. In the afternoon, I went to bou-
__ght two tickets for my grandparents. The nextday, I prepared two sun-glasses, a map and anumbrella for them. I heped them to pack up allthe things. In the train stop, I said goodbye to
点评:基本完成了试题规定的任务,覆盖了所有的要点,并有细节支持。时间表达具有连贯性,有些语言语法错误,但还没影响读者的理解。
13分:折合16分
Last weekend, I helped my grandparentsprepare their tdp to Beidaihe.
At first, I used the computer to find how tobook the train tickets, and my grandma wantedto know where will they live, and which hotel isbetter. My grandpa wanted to know what istheweather like in Beidaihe.
Then I went to the “Solding tickets sta-tion”to buy two tickets.
Return my home, I prepared two glassesand a map of Beidaihe for them and took someclothes, shoes in the box, at this time my grand-ma came in and let me take the umbrella.
Finally, I took my grandparents to the trainwhich from beijing to Beidaihe and said good-bye to them.
I hope they can have a good tdp.
点评:基本完成了试题规定的任务,覆盖了所有的要点,并有细节支撑。内容比较连贯,有一定的连接成分。语言有一些错误,但不影响理解,读者能够明白作者意图。
12分:折合15分
On the last Saturday moming, I looked forsome informations about hotel, train ticket andweather which is my grandparents be cared of.On the afternoon, I went to the train station tobuy two tickets for my grandparents. The ticketwas Sunday attemoon. So we had enough timeto prepare necessary things.
Although mygrandmother had already pack the clothes box,I checked it again and added some importantthings, like umbrella, sunglasses and a map. Onthe Sunday afternoon, I sended my grandper-ents to the train to Bei Oaihe. I was very happyto do the things for my grandparents. I reallywanted my grandparents have a great time.
点评:基本完成了试题所规定的任务,四个要点全面,分别有细节支撑。语法和用词有一些错误,但是不影响理解。
10分:12分才及格,折合成13
I'm Li Hua, a student from Red Star Mid-dle School.
At first, I searched the information from theIntemet, because my grandparents wanted toknow the weather and hotels in there. Afterthen, I went to the tickets station and helpedthem buy two tickets.
In addition, I helped them found out theclothes glassed, umbrella and maps.
At last, I sent them to the train station andsaid goodbye to them.
点评:短文第一句话与要求不符合,是日记,写“我叫李华”有何作用?分明没看清要求!“整理行装”的内容要点没有表达清。语法用词基本正确,其它图的表达也还迭意,因此给的是不及格的上限。
五、内容禁忌
1.忌文体不符
假设你是红星中学高三一班的学生李华为响应绿化祖国的号召,你班四月十二日去郊区植树。请根据以下四幅图的先后顺序,介绍植树活动的全过程,给某英文杂志的。绿色行动。专栏写一篇以“Green Action in OurClass”为题的英文稿件。(见图一)
I'm Li Hua from Class1, Senior 3, HongX-ing high school.
In response to the slogan"make our homeland greener, students in myclass planted trees in the suburbs on April 12th.
It was a fine day. With the sun shining abo-ve the mountains, we rode bikes towards ourdestination. Impressed by the beauty of the tre-es and grass along the road, everyone smiledhappily..
既然是“Green Action in Our Class”的命题作文,无需自报家门,与文体不符合。
2.忌套话或语言低幼化倾向
(1). At last, we had a photo taken beforethe trees. Everyone was happy.I will never for-get that day. Only in this way can we live muchbetter.
高三学生出去植一次树就记一辈子,这显得与现实不符合,过于太幼稚。可以说我们做了件有意义的事。
(2). We call on awareness on protectingour environment which is of great importance..Though clearing up the rubbish was a toughtask, our hearts were filled with joy and we willremember this outing for ever.与上句同样毛病。
(3).Before we set out yesterday morning,we checked the things we brought. Li Ming toldme he brought a compass,.
and I told him Ibrought some food.
高三学生叙述活动说。李明告诉我“我告诉他”,这样的叙述方式过于简单直白,给人感觉该作文很幼稚。
3.忌行文逻辑混乱
(1).In order to do some good deeds to helpto improve our environment, our class organiz-ed an activity to plant trees in suburbs.
Early in the morning, April 12th, I togetherwith my fellow-mates rode to the suburbs. Thesun shone upon us and the wind blew swi~lyabove the growing trees. Finally, we arrived atour destination.
为了绿化祖国,不是为了做好事。逻辑不通。
(2).As a student of Grade Three, we areheavy burdened with lots of homework, butsometimes we also have a rest and get close toour Mother Nature.
Eady in the morning of April, 12th, we setout to the countryside by bicycle, weadng bigsmiles on our face. When we got there, we hur-riedly to do our work as planned.
响应绿化号召去植树,无需写第一段,不是感言,也不是随笔。
六、写在后
写作提高不会一蹴而就,要勤练笔。考生可跟军近年高考的题目来写,这些都是很好的素材。书面表达建议周周练,找有范文的题目写,便于比照,然后同学间互相批改,能发现自己见不到的毛病,这对提高短文改错能力有很大帮助。如若是为了进一步提高英语作文的高分的能力,则尽量选择给自己的英语老师看,相信这对提高自己英语写作能力有很大的帮助。
那么考生该如何去复习高考英语作文呢?是一味地多背范文。或是一味地多写作文就行了吗?其实不然,在这里要提醒各位考生的是,复习高考英语作文首先要抓住的就是历年来的写作要求和评分标准,只有明确了各项规定后,才能知晓英语作文中的忌讳。从而才能在平时的复习中,把握住写作方向,尽可能的获取高分。
一、写作要求
高考书面表达作为信息输出的一项,已经随时代发展而越发显出它的作用。课程标准要求试题应能从语言应用的实际出发,体现技能的综合性。不论是阅读答题(鲁、湘、沪)、中译英(沪)、英译中(鲁)、阅读归纳(粤)、阅读写文(粤),信息转换(皖、苏、湘),对话填空(赣)都落实在清楚、连贯地传达信息,表达意思,表达核心。具体到短文写作,考试中心颁行的考试大纲对写的基本要求是:
1.清楚连贯地递传达信息,表达意思
2.有效运用所学语言知识。
当前全国推行的课程标准对写的描述是:
1.能根据所读文章进行转述或写摘要;
2.根据文字、图画及图表提供的信息写短文或报告;
3.能写语意连贯结构完整的短:文,叙述事情或表达观点和态度;
4.能在写作中做到文体规范。
同学们写文时应能:
1.准确使用语法和词汇
语言准确与否是写作中不可忽视的一个重要方面,它直接或间接影响信息的准确传输,应用语法结构和词汇的准确程度是写作评分标准中的一项重要内容。
2.使用一定的句型、词汇,清楚、连贯地表达自己的意思
任何_篇文章都需要有一个主题,作者应该围绕该主题,借助一些句型、词汇等的支持,清楚、连贯地表达自己的思想。
二、评分标准
当前,在高考评分日寸,明确以下面5点作为赋分标准:
1.内容清楚连贯;
2.结构完整;
3.逻辑性强;
4.主题突出;
5.用词及文体恰当。
考试中心将25分的书面表达分为5个档次。
(1)最高档次21~25分,标准是:
完全完成了试题规定的任务,包括覆盖所有内容要点;应用了较多的语法结构和词汇语法结构和词汇方面有些许错误,但是为尽力使用较复杂结构或较高级词汇所致,具有较强的语言运用能力;有效地使用了语句间的连接成分,使全文结构紧凑;完全达到了写作目的。
(2)第四档16-20分,标准是:
完成了试题规定的任务,虽漏掉一两个次重点,但覆盖所有主要内容;应用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的要求;语法结构或词汇方面应用基本准确,些许错误主要是因尝试较复杂语言结构或词汇所致;应用简单语句间连接成份,使全文结构紧凑,达到了预期写作目的。
(3)第三档11-15分,标准是:
基本完成了试题规定的任务,虽漏掉一些内容,但是覆盖所有内容;应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求;有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误,但不影响理解;应用简单的语句间连接成份,使全文内容连贯;整体而言,基本达到了预期的写作目的。
(4)第二档6-10分,标准是:
未恰当完成试题规定的任务,漏掉或未描述清楚一些主要内容,写了一些无关的内容;语法结构单调,词汇项目有限;有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误,影响了对写作内容的理解;较少使用语句间的连接成份,内容缺少连贯性,信息未能清楚地传达给读者。
(5)第一档1-5分,标准是:
未能完成试题规定的任务,明显漏掉主要内容,写了一些无关内容,原因可能是未能理解试题要求;语法结构单调,词汇项目有限;较多语法结构或词汇方面的错误,影响了对写作内容的理解;缺乏语句间的连接成份,内容不连贯,信息未能传达给读者。
(6)0分作文,标准是:
未能传达给读者任何信息,内容太少,无法评判;写的内容均与所要求内容无关或所写内容无法看清。
各单独命题省市根据该题项的具体分数在保持大原则的基础上作了相应的调整,比如北京第一篇情景作文满分20,也是5档,分别为18-20分,15-17分,12-14分,6-11分,1-5分,0分。第二篇发散性思维短文满分15分,就只有4个档次了。
三、检测方式
1.短文写作(日记小故事):
2.实用性写作(卡片、信件、说明、留言、填写、表格):
3.图文信息转换(图表描述、信息解读、写配图说明):
4.接续完成文段:
5.写电子邮件:
6.写内容提要。
四、掌握原则,把握写作方向
根据英语课程标准对于短文写作的命题是建立在实际应用的基础上,写作任务、话题、文体等应与高中学生认知能力发展、生活体验和语言能力相适应。换言之,要求所拟题目应当贴近高中生生活,容易表达,所描述或评述的是应当发生过、正发生,或很快能发生的。
纵观近年各份试卷的写作命题绝大多数符合上述要求。也有脱离学生生活实际的情况,比如:某省曾经出过用英语向全省中学生发倡议书,提倡创和谐社会的考题;另一省的在高三成人仪式上发言。100个中文字尚且说不明白,更不用说100个英文词了。歌颂时代主旋律决不意味脱离考生生活现实,建议考生今后选题练笔日寸一定把握前面的原则。
那么,我们该如何去复习英语作文呢,除了要掌握好近年的命题原则外,我建议考生还应该掌握好评分标准,根据高考场上的评分标准来进行平时的练笔:
例如:北京2010年情景作文(满分20分)
假设你是育才中学学生会主席,你校将举办一次英语演讲比赛(speech contest),想要邀请附近某大学外籍教授Smith女士来做评委,参考以下通知,给她写一封信:主题《人与自然》。时间:6月15号下午2点至五点。地点:501教室。参赛选手:10名学生。联系人李华电话:44876655。欢迎大家光临。
Dear Ms.Smith,
With best wishes.
Yours,
Lihua
注:具体范文略
文体:记叙文,不必要题目;因为是周记,确定主体时态为过去时。至于叫李华,哪个学校就没有必要陈述了,又不是自我推介。画的顺序和全过程,说明不可倒插写,也不能漏掉某些情节。
1.根据分数等级来评析:
19分:如果以25分计,则属于21-25分档的上限,23或24分。ately, the intemet helped us a lot.
Having got the information about the train, I went to the train station to buy tickets. It seemed that many people were planning to travel forthe sake bf the short weekend.
Next come the most troublesome part. Irummaged a large suitcase for packing. I referred from the intemet and made a specific list ofthings to corry. My grandma prepared T-shirtsand shorts and slippers becouse of the hot wea-ther. I went to the post office to buy them a mapof Bei Daihe which allowed them to lead their tripfreely. So far as I could consider, I packed themtwo sunglasses. Finally grandma rememberedto take an umbrella with them in cose it mined.
Finally, it was time to set off. I accompan-ied my grandparents to the train station to seethem off. They were very happy and excited forthe expected tdp to Bei Daihe. Waving my hand,I saw the train became smaller and smaller, tin-ally disappeared.
I was very proud of myself in that I organ-ized the whole trip. The broad smiles on mygrandparents' faces delighted me. And I de-cided to do more for them in the future.
点评:此文很好地完成了试题规定的任务,达到预期的写作目的,覆盖了所有的要点及细节。句式和词汇丰富,表达较地道,表现较高语言运用能力,特别是第一段的叙述。内容连贯,结构紧凑,有极个别错误但为表达丰富内容所致。由于北京的行文不设定上限,所以长点儿没关系。
18分:仍折合21分以上,可23左右。
Last weekend, I helped my grandparentsprepare their tdp to Beidaihe. In order to have afull pre.paration for the trip, I searched the Inter-net to get some useful information. Sitting be-fore the computer, we had so many questions toask. My grandparents paid attention to the ho-tels and weather, while I was concemed aboutthe train tickets.
After collecting the information, I succeed-ed in buying two tickets to the destination on myown. Luckily, I got the final two at the place
Questions flooded every inch of our mindat first. There were so many things that had tobe taken into consideration. What would theweather be like? What was the pdce of the train?Even hotel booking was a vital problem. Fortun-where the tickets were sold. ( 好的句子)
Besides helping my grandma to preparethe things for the trip, I also took a map of Be-idaihe so as to plan a specific and enjoyablepath of the joumey. And I reminded her of takingumbrellas and sunglasses in case the weatherwould be changeable.
Two days later, my grandparents set outto the place which they admired. When theysettled themselves well on the train, I expressedmy best wishes to them and said goodbye.They were also grateful for what I did for themand spoke highly of me. I was delighted I coulddid them a favor in return. After all, they devotedmuch to my growth. Seeing the pleasant facialexpression on their faces, I couldn't help smi-ling,(划线的地方是属于文章中多余之处,前者冗赘;后者是祖孙关系,不要用这么客气的表达。)
点评:完成了试题规定的任务,达到了预期的写作目的,覆盖了所有的要点,有细节支持,使用句式和词汇多样,表达内容连贯。结构紧凑,虽有个别的不足,但无伤大雅。
17分:相当于20分。
It was a really busy weekend. When mygrandparents decided to pay a visit to Beidaihe,I was searching for information on the Intemet as quickly as possible. I had to ensure some in-formation including the train tickets, hotels andweather that ray grandparents questioned me.After that, I went to the station to buy two'ticketsfrom Beijing to Beidaihe. It wasn't too long before I went back home. I also had to check thethings that my grandparents should take. Whilemy grandpa was looking for things, my grandmaand I packed the bag. After the clothes and sho-es were put in the bag, my grandma remindedme of the umbrella to avoid the rain. When themost important thing map was found, every-thing was in place. Eady inthe next morning, mygrandparents were taking the train. They werevery happy to the thing I had prepared for them.Seeing the train leave, I felt very proud of my-self.
点评:完成了试题规定的任务,达到了预期的写作目的,覆盖了所有的要点,运用的句式和词汇能满足任务的要求。语法和用词基本准确,少许错误为尽可能表达丰富内容所致,所写内容连贯。划线处:Ioavoidthe rain没必要,Whenthemostthingmap句也可不写,in不要,When句不必进行时,这样用也不生动,坐在车上说再见就行了,不必感念我事先的准备。
15分:折合18或19分
Last weekend, I helped my grandparentsprepare their tdp to Beidaihe.
First ofall, I surfed the Intemet to get someinformation about the tdp. I searched the cast ofhotel and train tickets and the condition of wea-ther. Then I bought two tickets at the station.Next, I help them prepare their luggage. I andmy grandma put a map,
two sunglasses,sweaters, laptops and an umbrellas into thebag. Finally, I saw them off on the platform atnight.
I thought what I did was very meaningful.And I was satisfied with myself for doing thesethings.
点评:完成了试题规定的任务,达到了预期的写作目的,覆盖了所有的要点,并有细节支持。语言简洁明确,质量尚高。运用的句式和词汇能满足任务的要求,但是,达不到内容丰富的要求,有时态错,不符合英语语用习惯I andmy grandmo,不必让两位老人带上电脑,加重行李负担,虽然有可能是时髦长者,最后一段的前一句没有必要,只写我很满意我所做的就行了,Ithoughtwhatldidwasmeaningful,写文要注意思想性,但用的地方不恰当。
14分:折合16或仃分
Last weekend, I helped my grandparentsprepare their tdp to Beidaihe.
On Saturday morning, I search some in._-formations about Beidaihe on the Intemet. Theweather would be nice dudng their tdp in Be-idaihe. I booked a room for them in a hotel whichis near the sea. In the afternoon, I went to bou-
__ght two tickets for my grandparents. The nextday, I prepared two sun-glasses, a map and anumbrella for them. I heped them to pack up allthe things. In the train stop, I said goodbye to
点评:基本完成了试题规定的任务,覆盖了所有的要点,并有细节支持。时间表达具有连贯性,有些语言语法错误,但还没影响读者的理解。
13分:折合16分
Last weekend, I helped my grandparentsprepare their tdp to Beidaihe.
At first, I used the computer to find how tobook the train tickets, and my grandma wantedto know where will they live, and which hotel isbetter. My grandpa wanted to know what istheweather like in Beidaihe.
Then I went to the “Solding tickets sta-tion”to buy two tickets.
Return my home, I prepared two glassesand a map of Beidaihe for them and took someclothes, shoes in the box, at this time my grand-ma came in and let me take the umbrella.
Finally, I took my grandparents to the trainwhich from beijing to Beidaihe and said good-bye to them.
I hope they can have a good tdp.
点评:基本完成了试题规定的任务,覆盖了所有的要点,并有细节支撑。内容比较连贯,有一定的连接成分。语言有一些错误,但不影响理解,读者能够明白作者意图。
12分:折合15分
On the last Saturday moming, I looked forsome informations about hotel, train ticket andweather which is my grandparents be cared of.On the afternoon, I went to the train station tobuy two tickets for my grandparents. The ticketwas Sunday attemoon. So we had enough timeto prepare necessary things.
Although mygrandmother had already pack the clothes box,I checked it again and added some importantthings, like umbrella, sunglasses and a map. Onthe Sunday afternoon, I sended my grandper-ents to the train to Bei Oaihe. I was very happyto do the things for my grandparents. I reallywanted my grandparents have a great time.
点评:基本完成了试题所规定的任务,四个要点全面,分别有细节支撑。语法和用词有一些错误,但是不影响理解。
10分:12分才及格,折合成13
I'm Li Hua, a student from Red Star Mid-dle School.
At first, I searched the information from theIntemet, because my grandparents wanted toknow the weather and hotels in there. Afterthen, I went to the tickets station and helpedthem buy two tickets.
In addition, I helped them found out theclothes glassed, umbrella and maps.
At last, I sent them to the train station andsaid goodbye to them.
点评:短文第一句话与要求不符合,是日记,写“我叫李华”有何作用?分明没看清要求!“整理行装”的内容要点没有表达清。语法用词基本正确,其它图的表达也还迭意,因此给的是不及格的上限。
五、内容禁忌
1.忌文体不符
假设你是红星中学高三一班的学生李华为响应绿化祖国的号召,你班四月十二日去郊区植树。请根据以下四幅图的先后顺序,介绍植树活动的全过程,给某英文杂志的。绿色行动。专栏写一篇以“Green Action in OurClass”为题的英文稿件。(见图一)
I'm Li Hua from Class1, Senior 3, HongX-ing high school.
In response to the slogan"make our homeland greener, students in myclass planted trees in the suburbs on April 12th.
It was a fine day. With the sun shining abo-ve the mountains, we rode bikes towards ourdestination. Impressed by the beauty of the tre-es and grass along the road, everyone smiledhappily..
既然是“Green Action in Our Class”的命题作文,无需自报家门,与文体不符合。
2.忌套话或语言低幼化倾向
(1). At last, we had a photo taken beforethe trees. Everyone was happy.I will never for-get that day. Only in this way can we live muchbetter.
高三学生出去植一次树就记一辈子,这显得与现实不符合,过于太幼稚。可以说我们做了件有意义的事。
(2). We call on awareness on protectingour environment which is of great importance..Though clearing up the rubbish was a toughtask, our hearts were filled with joy and we willremember this outing for ever.与上句同样毛病。
(3).Before we set out yesterday morning,we checked the things we brought. Li Ming toldme he brought a compass,.
and I told him Ibrought some food.
高三学生叙述活动说。李明告诉我“我告诉他”,这样的叙述方式过于简单直白,给人感觉该作文很幼稚。
3.忌行文逻辑混乱
(1).In order to do some good deeds to helpto improve our environment, our class organiz-ed an activity to plant trees in suburbs.
Early in the morning, April 12th, I togetherwith my fellow-mates rode to the suburbs. Thesun shone upon us and the wind blew swi~lyabove the growing trees. Finally, we arrived atour destination.
为了绿化祖国,不是为了做好事。逻辑不通。
(2).As a student of Grade Three, we areheavy burdened with lots of homework, butsometimes we also have a rest and get close toour Mother Nature.
Eady in the morning of April, 12th, we setout to the countryside by bicycle, weadng bigsmiles on our face. When we got there, we hur-riedly to do our work as planned.
响应绿化号召去植树,无需写第一段,不是感言,也不是随笔。
六、写在后
写作提高不会一蹴而就,要勤练笔。考生可跟军近年高考的题目来写,这些都是很好的素材。书面表达建议周周练,找有范文的题目写,便于比照,然后同学间互相批改,能发现自己见不到的毛病,这对提高短文改错能力有很大帮助。如若是为了进一步提高英语作文的高分的能力,则尽量选择给自己的英语老师看,相信这对提高自己英语写作能力有很大的帮助。