我不必性感,你也不必

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   青春期是人体迅速生长发育的关键时期,也是儿童逐渐发育成为成年人的过渡期。这是一个很敏感的时期,无论是外在还是内在。这个时期的少男少女们对自身的外表总是特别在意,不自觉地和他人进行比较。受外界的影响,不少女生对成长的期望总是-变成一个性感的女性。但其实,我们是不是一定要性感?怎样才算是性感?小编认为,你不必性感,但你一定要做自己,活出自己的个性,用知识充实自己。毕竟“Smart is a new sexy.”。
   两个月前,我的体重比现在重26磅(约23.6斤)。我一直都穿加大码的衣服,听到我说想买一件适合我穿的夹克衫时,导购员都被我逗乐了。
   以前我总幻想自己拥有苗条的体型(我不可能真的“苗条”,因为我有着维京人高大的体型),一切看起来都那么美好:我会看着镜中的自己,感觉自己就像一位女神(那种拥有超能力的女神,不是电影《五十度灰》里的那种),只要我走在大街上,人们就会向我投来各种玫瑰,我会成为下一季《全美超模大赛》的冠军。
   然而最主要的是,我只想体验未曾有过的感受。我想感受性感。
   嘿,我得澄清一点:我指的是为自己性感。我努力减肥,不是为了走在大街上有几个百无聊赖(也无聊至极)的男生向我喊几句粗言秽语,我只为自己而性感;我只是想感受性感,想对着镜中的自己说“这女孩真赞!”可事实并非如此,即便我非常努力,这至今仍未成真……
   我买来昂贵的维多利亚的秘密的闪亮文胸,结果只是瞪大眼睛看了好几个星期,不禁想“我买它来干什么?”,接着我在易趣网上架了这些衣服,不过当然了,没有人会想买你的二手文胸。我也不得不承认我爱死保守型内裤了。它们很舒适,而这正是作为内衣所应该具备的。滚回家吧,丁字裤;你丑死了,没有人会喜欢你的。
   我记得性感女性非常喜欢红色。红艳艳的双唇、美甲和服饰。于是我也尝试一番:红唇让我看起来像一个不好笑的小丑;红色美甲在我的笔记本上留下许多划痕,以至于我的作文看起来像是个凶案现场。我买的那条红色裙子除了我之外,其他人穿起来都很好看,后来它成了我的普拉提老师的下一份生日礼物——千真万确,她自己说想要那条裙子。
   高跟鞋也是一样能让女生变女神的神物。可是我身高五尺十寸(约178厘米),穿11码的鞋子(约43码),还忍受不了哪怕一丁点的疼痛;穿高跟鞋对于我来说,简直就是一大酷刑。
   我的另外一个尝试是参加尊巴舞课程,因为我发现他们常常舞动臀部(这是我对性感的另一个信念:翘臀性感。谢谢你,夏奇拉!)尊巴舞确实很有趣,不过抱歉,我的梦想没有实现。参加课程的是一群年届40、在大冬天里穿着背心看起来还很健美的女士,而我却大汗淋漓,脸蛋红得像熟透的石榴。
   作为最后的反击,我试着模仿那些我认为性感的人。于是我看了许多碧昂斯的音乐录像带,假装自己拥有整个社区最性感的翘臀。可是事实证明,我并没有这样的翘臀,甚至没法自欺欺人。
   我停了片刻,思索起来:什么才叫性感?
   词典网释义:“能引起性兴趣或兴奋的。显露性欲的。”我希望传递与性相关的信息吗?这听起来怪怪的,你不觉得吗,“显露性欲”?我只能想象到这样一个画面:一股穿着女士内衣的微波,说着像“让我们一起共度春宵吧,猛男”这样的话。我想变成这样一个奇奇怪怪的性欲微波吗?当然不想。
   接着,我翻查了更为人所熟知和可信的城市词典网:“性感用以形容某个你认为异常吸引并希望与之发生关系的人”——查寧·塔图姆。可是坦白地说,我并不喜欢那种有人“想和我发生关系”的想法——天啊,这个表达好可怕。我想要的是一个会唱莎拉·巴莱勒斯的歌给我听,在我感觉腰酸背痛时(每一天、每时每刻、一直,仅供您参考)帮我按摩舒缓,和我一样喜欢冻酸奶的人。
   不过到了最后,我明白了:我不必变得性感。其他人也没有必要刻意性感。
   性感是主观的:性感可以指阿德里亚娜·利马,也可以指我,一个(冬天)12个星期不除脚毛的人;性感可以是妆容精致,也可以是素面朝天;性感可以是女演员也可以是咖啡师;性感可以是《魔力麦克》,也可以是《存储大战》。
   为什么我要改变自己来“感受性感”?相反,我要致力于一个真正需要改变的概念:我们需要更多加大码的模特,更多像利兹·雷蒙那样害怕性感的人;更多艾米·舒默来提醒我们,臀部并没有那么重要,女孩不需要化妆。我们需要意识到,有时候事情会与我们想象的不太一样。请多一些不一样的声音吧。
   所以到了最后,我也许不是《明星伙伴》剧组——虽然我还没看过那部电视剧,但我已经嗅到了其中的性别歧视——认为的那种“真性感,伙计!”,但是我是一位机智、坚强、幽默的女生,如果这也不算性感,那就随它去吧!
   既然提到性感,那就不可避免地会提到几个性感天王天后,你都认识吗?
   夏奇拉(Shakira):拉丁天后,哥伦比亚籍唱片销量最高的歌手,以擅长各种扭臀舞蹈而著称。2010年,由夏奇拉创作的歌曲《Wakawaka》被选为南非世界杯主题曲。
   阿德里亚娜·利马(Adriana Lima):巴西名模,是维多利亚的秘密品牌内衣签约时间最长的模特,曾经被媒体选为世界上最性感女人之一。
   查宁·塔图姆(Channing Tatum):美国电影演员,好莱坞性感男神,2012年被《人物》杂志评为年度最性感男士,代表作有《舞出我人生》《特种部队》《龙虎少年队》《魔力麦克》。其中《魔力麦克》更是以查宁·塔图姆的真实人生经历改编而成,讲述了“魔力麦克”训练另一名年轻脱衣舞男(塔图姆)的故事。
   Two months ago, I was 26 pounds heavier. My clothing size was always an XL and the 1)sales associate was widely 2)amused when I asked for a jacket that would fit me.    When I used to imagine being skinny (I will never be truly “skinny” because I have the body type of a viking注1), everything seemed wonderful: I would look in the mirror and feel like a goddess (the one with the superpowers, not the 50 Shades注2 kind), people on the streets would throw all types of roses when I walked by, I would be the winner on the next season of America’s Next Top Model.
   But mostly, I just wanted to experience something I never had before. I wanted to feel sexy.
   And hey, just to 3)clarify: Sexy for myself. I didn’t work hard to lose weight only so a couple of bored (and boring) guys could yell 4)nasty stuff at me on the streets, I did it for me; I was the one who wanted to feel sexy, to look at myself in the mirror and say “Damn, girl!” But it wasn’t, and as hard as I try, it isn’t happening...
   I bought expensive Victoria’s Secret 5)glittering bras only to look at them weeks later and think “what the hell am I going to do with this”, then listed them on eBay but of course, no one will want to buy your used bra. And I should also admit that I LOVE 6)granny panties. They are comfortable, and that is all you need when it comes to underwear. Go home, 7)thongs; you’re ugly and no one likes you.
   I remembered sexy ladies wear a lot of red. Red on the lips, nails, and on their clothes. So I tried: red lipstick makes me look like an unfunny clown; red nails leave marks all over my notebooks, so my essays look like a murder scene. The red dress I bought looks good on anyone except me, it’s my 8)pilates instructor’s next birthday gift—seriously, she asked for it.
   High heels are also supposed to make a girl feel great. But I’m 5’10” tall, shoe size 11, and have zero 9)tolerance to pain; high heels to me are basically a 10)torture instrument.
   Another thing I tried was 11)Zumba classes, because I noticed they move their hips a lot (another belief about sexiness: hips are sexy. Thanks, Shakira!). It definitely is fun, but nope, not making it happen. It was a bunch of 40-year-old ladies who wear 12)tank tops in winter and look awesome, whereas I am sweaty and my face looks 13)pomegrante red.
   As a last resort, I tried to copy those who I thought were sexy. So I watched lots of Beyonce videos and went through life as if I had the best butt in the neighborhood. But truth be told, I don’t, and I can’t even pretend I do.
   I stopped for a second and thought: what’s being sexy?    Dictionary.com states: “Sexually interesting or exciting. 14)Radiating 15)sexuality” Do I want to radiate sexuality? And it’s weird, don’t you think, to “radiate sexuality?” I can only picture a microwave in 16)lingerie, saying things like “let’s spend the night together, you 17)stud”. Do I want to be a weirdly sexual microwave? Absolutely not.
   Then, I turned to the more familiar and honest UrbanDictionary: “Sexy is used to describe someone who you think is amazingly attractive and you want in their pants”—Channing Tatum. But to be honest, I don’t like the idea of anyone just “wanting in my pants”—god, what a horrible expression. I want someone who would sing Sara Bareilles注3 songs to me, massage my back when it hurts (which, for your information, is everyday, all the time, always), and love 18)froyo as much as I do.
   But in the end, I understood: I don’t need to become sexy. And neither does anybody.
   Sexy is 19)subjective: sexy can be Adriana Lima or me, after 12 weeks of not shaving my legs (winter). Sexy is make up and no make up, actress and 20)barista, Magic Mike and Storage Wars注4.
   Why should I change my ways to “feel sexy”? Instead, I’m gonna work hard towards a concept that NEEDS to change: We need more plus sized models, more scared of sexiness Liz Lemons注5, more Amy Schumers注6 reminding us that butts are not so important and#girlyoudontneedmakeup. We need to understand that things can and will be different than how we 21)conceive them. Please.
   So ultimately, I may not be what the Entourage注7 crew—haven’t even watched that show but I can already smell the 22)sexism—would think is “hot, dude!”, but I am a smart, strong, funny lady and if that isn’t sexy, well, to hell with it.
  
   注1:維京人,8—11世纪时劫掠欧洲西北海岸的北欧海盗。
   注2:50 Shades 即Fifty Shades of Grey,《五十度灰》,环球影业出品的重口味性虐爱情片,改编自英国女性作家EL·詹姆丝的同名小说。
   注3:莎拉·巴莱勒斯(Sara Bareilles),创作歌手和钢琴家。
   注4:《存储大战》(Storage Wars),A
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