“兴奋之下,脱鞋时把鞋带弄成了一个死结”和“母亲见状……便蹲下了身子(解结)”——用独特的细节承载浓浓的母爱。文末用“一定要好好读书”照应开头“破例请了半天假”,中间讲述“母爱”的细节——构思很巧妙,内容有特点。但是,还需要升格:集中写一个独特的情节;标题实在一点。 “Excitedly, when leaving the shoes, the shoelaces became a dead knot” and “When the mother saw it, she squatted down (untied)” - carrying a deep motherhood with unique details. At the end of the article, “Be sure to read well” and take care of the beginning. “Having asked for a half-day leave for an exception.” The middle part tells the details of “motherly love” – the idea is very clever and the content is characteristic. However, there is still a need for promotion: focus on writing a unique plot; the title is a bit of a point.