《我欲为人》:非人的同居生活

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  乔希有一个秘密:他是一个狼人,每隔四周就要在月圆之夜变身。
  艾丹有一个秘密:他是一个吸血鬼,每时每刻都要与自己吸血的天性作斗争。
  尽管“身份”特殊,这对难兄难弟依然渴望过上正常人的生活。他们为了互相照看而搬进了一所公寓,谁知公寓里竟然住着女鬼萨莉,三只怪物勉为其难地开始“同居”……
  山寨其实并非国内电视台的专利,大洋彼岸的美国向来有“英剧翻拍情结”,其中不乏《办公室》(The Office)和《都市侠盗》(Leverage)等上乘之作。不过,像今年年初这样同时播放几部翻拍剧的现象确实少见——除了《无耻之徒》(Shameless)和《皮囊》(Skins)以外,红遍英伦的《我欲为人》也将舞台从布里斯托尔搬到了波士顿,一开播就大受好评。俗话说“是金子到哪里都发光”,优秀的剧本何尝不是一个道理呢?
  
  艾丹和乔希发现了萨莉的存在……
  
  Josh: So, you…you’ve just been here since you...
  Sally: Since I bit it[(俚)死]? Pretty much. (laughs) Six months of a one-sided conversation—me
  ranting[大声叫嚷], people just walking through me. Oh! For a month, there were these vegans[素食者], like, this isn’t Burning Man注1, you can shower.
  Aidan: How did you die? If that’s not too personal a question.
  Sally: No, not at all, especially since I have no idea.
  Josh: At…at all?
  Sally: I remember going to sleep. I remember lying next to Danny, and I woke up and there was this. Anyway, you two gonna go all Twilight on each
  other at some point or…
  Aidan: Excuse me?
  Sally: I know what you are.
  Josh: How?
  Sally: Because it’s all you guys ever talk about…“I
  wanna be normal, but I can’t, ’cause I wanna eat people,”
  etc. It’s okay. I’m cool with[无所谓,能接受] it. Believe me, the regular living are overrated[对……评价过高].
  Josh: So wait...so stop, let me just get this straight. So you’ve just been watching us, right? Just go…going through[仔细检查] our things? Great, great, we’re living with Sally, the peeper[偷窥者] ghost.
  Sally: Oh, relax. I can’t even move dust. And I’m not a peeper...much. I would have that mole[痣] checked out. You were premed注2, weren’t you? You should know that.
  Aidan: (laughs) Well, I’m gonna enjoy this.
  Josh: You were supposed to marry what’s-his-face, weren’t you?
  Sally: Danny, yes.
  Josh: Right, so why don’t you just go haunt[缠扰] him?
  Aidan: Josh…
  Josh: No, I mean, look…listen, I’m sorry that you’re a ghost and all, but…but if you’re gonna spend
  eternity[永远] with someone, shouldn’t it be with the one that you loved or, you know, anywhere but here?
  Aidan: I’m…I’m sorry. I wish I could say it’s a
  blood-sugar thing, but Josh is rude all the time.
  Sally: It’s okay. Josh, I would love to leave.
  Aidan: But she can’t, right?
  Sally: Right.
  Aidan: You’re not my first ghost.
  Sally: So how can you see me anyway?
  Aidan: Well, think of us as sort of different countries on the same continent.
  Josh: Oh my God, that’s beautiful, really. We’re
  Africa. Okay, so about this whole leaving thing, have you tried?
  Sally: Obviously I’ve tried. Well, I haven’t been
  moping[用拖把擦] around the house, rattling[使发出声响] chains, taking bubble baths. I would love to just open that door and magically walk back into the life that was ripped[撕] away from me. I did have plans, you know.
  Aidan: We gotta get to work.
  Sally: I’ll be here.
  Josh: It was GREAT meeting you.
  
  乔希:于是你……你一直在这里,自从你……
  萨莉:自从我挂了?差不多吧。(笑)六个月的自言自语——我大吼大叫,人们则从我身上穿过。喔!有一个月,来了几个素食主义者,这又不是火人节,你们可以洗澡的。
  艾丹:你怎么死的?如果这个问题不会太私隐的话。
  萨莉:不,没关系,特别是在我也搞不懂的情况下。
  乔希:完全……搞不懂?
  萨莉:我记得自己上床睡觉,躺在丹尼身边,醒来之后就变成这样了。话说回来,你们俩会像《暮光之城》那样斗来斗去还是
  怎样……
  艾丹:你说什么?
  萨莉:我知道你们是什么。
  乔希:怎么知道的?
  萨莉:因为你们老是在说啊……“我想当正常人,但我做不到,因为我想吃人”之类的。没关系,我一点也不介意。相信我,常人的生活没你们想的那么好。
  乔希:等等……停一下,让我把这捋清楚。也就是说你一直在看着,对吧?就是……翻看我们的一切?很好,棒极了,我们与偷窥鬼萨莉住在一起。
  萨莉:噢,别紧张。我连灰尘都吹不动。而且我也不是偷窥狂……不算是。要是我的话,我会去查一下那颗痣。你上过医学预科吧?你应该知道怎么做。
  艾丹:(笑)哦,这个对话不错。
  乔希:你本该嫁给那个谁,对吧?
  萨莉:丹尼,没错。
  乔希:是的,那你为什么不去缠着他?
  艾丹:乔希……
  乔希:不,我是说,瞧……你听我说,我也很遗憾你变成了鬼魂,但……但是如果你打算跟谁长相厮守,那也应该是你的爱人吧——你知道,或者除了这里以外的任何地方?
  艾丹:我……我很抱歉。我想说这是因为他的血糖问题,但乔希向来没什么礼貌。
  萨莉:没关系。乔希,我也想离开。
  艾丹:但她做不到,对吧?
  萨莉:是的。
  艾丹:我见过鬼。
  萨莉:话说回来,你们怎么会看见我的呢?
  艾丹:喔,你可以把我们当作同一个大陆上的不同国家。
  乔希:天啊,这比喻真美。我们就是非洲。好了,关于离开这件事,你尝试过吗?
  萨莉:我当然试过。哦,我不是一直在房子里拖地板,摇晃一下链子,或者洗个泡泡浴。我恨不得打开那扇门,然后奇迹般回到我被剥夺的人生里去。我有自己的人生规划,你知道。
  艾丹:我们得上班了。
  萨莉:我看家。
  乔希:很高兴认识你。
  
  口语锦囊
  “anyway”除了我们常见的“无论如何,不管怎样”这个意思以外,它在非正式用语中也常常在说话人准备继续讲述事情或者改变话题时使用,可以表示说话人要回到主题上来,也可以表示开始另一个话题,例如:
  Anyway, shall we go on to the next point now? (好吧,我们现在继续讨论下一点好吗?)
  
  乔希在医院遇到自己不能相见的妹妹,心情抑郁地回家……
  
  Sally: You’re home.
  Josh: Yep.
  Sally: So, I’ve been thinking about what you said, you know, and I think I should try to move on.
  Josh: Great.
  Sally: So I just need you to call Danny, tell him to come over, fix the pipes, and I’ll take it from there. Josh, if you…if you could just call Danny…
  Josh: Can it…can it wait?
  Sally: It’ll take two seconds.
  Josh: I, I just want to be alone. I just wanna be alone. And see? This is the problem. You’re always here, so I can never be alone.
  Sally: What…where am I supposed to go?
  Josh: I don’t know. I don’t know. Beyond[来世]? I…I don’t…
  Sally: Yes, please, well, like I’d rather be shacking up with[同居] a vampire and, oh yeah, a day drinker. Josh, I was gonna get my master’s, and…and now I have nothing to read but stupid blogs over your shoulder. I’ve tried to leave. I don’t know how.
  Josh: Then figure it out, Sally, figure it out, okay? Because I…my life sucks[(俚)糟糕] enough without having to live in your purgatory[受苦受难的地方].
  Sally: You’re right. I have stuff to work out. See, you don’t know how lucky you are.
  Josh: Lucky? Right, yeah.
  Sally: Whatever’s going on with you, at least you have the chance to fix it. It’s a bad bump[隆起] on the otherwise ongoing road of your life. I can’t do anything. I can’t change anything. I can’t even drink a beer to make
  myself feel better. So just go on your pansy[娘娘腔]-ass[傻瓜],
  mopey[闷闷不乐的] kick[一时的热衷], but at least have the
  decency to appreciate that you haven’t dropped off a cliff to nowhere! (disappears)
  Josh: How did you manage to make this about you?
  
  萨莉:你回来了。
  乔希:对。
  萨莉:那个,我一直在想你说的话,你知道,我也觉得我应该向前看。
  乔希:好极了。
  萨莉:所以我需要你打电话给丹尼,叫他过来修水管,接下来就看我的了。乔希,如果你……只要你打给丹尼……
  乔希:能……能等一会儿吗?
  萨莉:只是两秒钟的功夫。
  乔希:我……我只想一个人呆着。我想独处。你瞧,问题就在这儿。你一直在这里,我根本没法独处。
  萨莉:什么……那我能到哪里去?
  乔希:我不知道,我也不知道。去投胎?我……我不太……
  萨莉:好啊,喔,好像我愿意与吸血鬼以及——没错,这个天没黑就开始喝酒的家伙同居似的。乔希,我快要拿到硕士学位了,而……现在我唯一能读到的东西就是站在你身后看那些愚蠢的博客。我试过离开,但我不知道怎么做。
  乔希:你自己想办法,萨莉,想想办法,好吗?因为我……没有你给我找罪受,我的生活也够糟糕的了。
  萨莉:你是对的,我有事情要自己处理。瞧,你不知道自己有多幸运。
  乔希:幸运?是啊,没错。
  萨莉:不管发生了什么事,至少你还有弥补的机会。这只是一点颠簸,你的人生旅途还在继续。我却什么都做不了,什么都无法改变。我甚至不能借酒消愁。你尽管像个傻娘们那样郁郁寡欢吧,但你还没有掉进那个一无所有的深渊,你至少应该为这事感到高兴!(消失)
  乔希:你怎么把事情都扯到自己身上去呢?
  
  口语锦囊
  “decency”意为“正派,庄重,礼节,体面”,常常用于“have the decency to do sth.”这个固定搭配中,表示说话人认为对方应该做某事的强烈态度,例如:
  I know you didn’t like him, but at least have the decency to go to his funeral! (我知道你不喜欢他,但至少讲点礼节去参加他的葬礼!)
  
  一次变身醒来,乔希遇到了另一个狼人——雷。作为过来人,雷懂得不少变形技巧,但他放浪不羁的作风也给乔希带来很大麻烦……
  
  Ray: This is just the beginning, you and me.
  Tomorrow we start. We’ll find more of us. With your bulbous[又肥又圆的] brain, it’ll be easy.
  Josh: Why would we do that?
  Ray: A pack, Josh! Think about it. A whole team of us running together, living together, like nature
  intended[预定].
  Josh: Nature? What, you think this is natural?
  Ray: It’ll be incredible[极好的]! Nothing to hide from each other, nothing to fear. Vampires couldn’t touch us.
  Josh: Yeah, but a pack would only make us more dangerous.
  Ray: Exactly! Invincible[不可战胜的]! Safe!
  Josh: What we did last night to those vampires, we...we never would have done that alone.
  Ray: They’re murdering leeches[蚂蟥], Josh.
  Josh: I don’t care! I lost control! I gave in to the wolf! Your wolf! I never want to do that again!
  Ray: All right, maybe I pushed you too far. We can take it slower.
  Josh: I don’t wanna take it slower! I was gonna tell you this tomorrow, after the Moon, but I think it’s time you headed out.
  Ray: You’re joking.
  Josh: No. Thank you. I am grateful for everything that you’ve taught me, but I can manage.
  Ray: You can’t even say “transform” without looking like you’re gonna puke[呕吐]! You keep on talking about the wolf like it’s some kind of monster in a fairy tale, like it’s not you!
  Josh: It isn’t me! It’s an infection[感染], a disease!
  Ray: You don’t have to suffer! You don’t have to be alone! None of us do!
  Josh: I, I think maybe changing together isn’t such a good idea.
  Ray: What? Now you’re gonna sulk[生闷气]?
  Josh: You take the shed[小屋]. I’ll find another place.
  Ray: I won’t abandon you, not while you’re still living with that blood-monger[不良行为的参与者]! Come on, Josh! It’s not safe! We protect each other.
  Josh: No, we don’t! You make it worse for me! You make everything worse for me!
  Ray: You don’t understand. I’ve been looking for you for two years!
  Josh: Two years?
  Ray: I wanted to tell you earlier. I’m the one you met on that camping trip.
  Josh: No…
  Ray: I’m the one who turned you. I’m the one who gave you this gift.
  Josh: You…you can’t be.
  Ray: I was roaming[闲逛] the forest in Maine. I attacked two backpackers. One of them died, and one was wounded, a scratch[抓伤] on the shoulder. I checked the paper for days after. I found your name.
  Josh: You killed my friend!!
  Ray: But you survived. You’re the only one, Josh. I’ve been trying to find you. I’ve been tracking you ever since.
  Josh: Why? Why...why wouldn’t you just leave me alone?
  Ray: I couldn’t. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw you lying there in the woods. I couldn’t stop thinking. I had to see what was your life like[d].
  Josh: (sobs) My life? My life! I don’t...I don’t have a life! My family, my fiancée[未婚妻], my whole future! You should’ve...you should’ve killed me.
  Ray: No, don’t say that.
  Josh: Why didn’t you?
  Ray: There were voices, screaming, men coming—you know how it is, just flashes of memory. The wolf is a gift, Josh. I was just like you at first.
  Josh: This is not a gift!! It’s a curse!!
  Ray: Feel it! Feel it! We’re faster and stronger than any human!
  Josh: I don’t wanna be this!!
  Ray: We’re more alive, Josh! We’re the best of
  human and animal!
  Josh: All this time…all this time, you’ve been
  coaching me, pretending to help me manage my condition! And you’re the one who did this to me! What kind of sick freak[怪人] are you?!
  Ray: I’m your friend.
  Josh: What do you want from me?! What do you want?!
  Ray: I thought if I helped you—if you needed me—you’d let me in.
  Josh: What are you talking about?
  Ray: I saw what you have: your house, your friends, your job. I wanted that too. I wanted what I used to have. I had a wife, a son! I lost everything!
  
  雷:这只是你我的一个开端。从明天开始,我们会找到更多同伴。你的大脑门好使,找人容易。
  乔希:我们为什么要这样做?
  雷:一个狼群啊,乔希!想想看,我们一群人一起奔跑,一起生活,就像在大自然里该有的样子。
  乔希:自然?什么,你认为这自然吗?
  雷:那该多美妙啊!彼此无需掩藏,无所畏惧。吸血鬼也不能把我们怎么样。
  乔希:没错,但是狼群只会让我们变得更危险。
  雷:就是这样!所向披靡!高枕无忧!
  乔希:我们昨晚向那些吸血鬼下手的行为,我们……单独行动时根本不会那么做。
  雷:他们是杀人的蚂蟥,乔希。
  乔希:我不管!我失控了!我向狼性屈服了!你的狼性!我再也不想那样做了!
  雷:好吧,也许我把你逼得太紧了。我们可以慢慢来。
  乔希:我不想慢慢来!我本想明天再告诉你的,等过了这个月圆之夜再说,但我想你是时候离开了。
  雷:你在开玩笑。
  乔希:不。谢谢你,我很感激你教导我的一切,但我应付得来。
  雷:你甚至连“变身”都说不出口,每次说都像要吐了一样!你提起狼人的时候总像在说童话里的怪物,事不关己一样!
  乔希:那本来就不是我!这是感染,是一种病!
  雷:你不需要这么痛苦!你不需要一个人面对!我们无需这么做!
  乔希:我……我不认为一起变形是个好
  主意。
  雷:什么?你这是在闹脾气?
  乔希:你呆在小屋里吧。我再找一个地方。
  雷:我不会丢下你,不会任由你和一个吸血鬼住在一起!醒醒吧,乔希!这很危险!我们可以互相保护。
  乔希:不,我们做不到!你只会让事情更糟糕!你让一切都变得更糟糕!
  雷:你不懂,我足足找了你两年!
  乔希:两年?
  雷:我本想早点告诉你——我就是你在露营时遇到的那个狼人。
  乔希:不……
  雷:是我让你变成这样的。这种能力是我给你的。
  乔希:你……不可能。
  雷:我当时在缅因州的森林里游荡。我袭击了两个背包族,其中一个死了,另一个受了伤,肩膀上划开了一个口子。事后几天我都在查看报纸,找到了你的名字。
  乔希:你害死了我的朋友!!
  雷:但你活下来了。你是唯一的一个,乔希。我一直想找你。从那时开始,我一直在找你。
  乔希:为什么?为什么……为什么你就是不肯放过我?
  雷:我做不到。我一闭上眼就会看见你躺在树林里的样子。我总是想起你。我一定要知道你的人生怎么样了。
  乔希:(抽泣)我的人生?我的人生!我没
  有……我哪有人生可言!我的家庭、我的未婚妻、我的前途!你本来……你本该杀了我的。
  雷:不,别这么说。
  乔希:你为什么不杀了我?
  雷:到处都是各种声音,有人在尖叫,有人要过来了——你也知道那回事,只剩下一些零碎的记忆了。狼人是一种天赋,乔希。我以前也像你这样。
  乔希:这才不是天赋!!这是诅咒!!
  雷:感受它!感受一下!我们比人类更敏捷、更强壮!
  乔希:我不要这样!!
  雷:我们的生命力更强,乔希!我们兼得人与动物两家所长!
  乔希:这么久以来……你一直在指导我,假装帮我控制自己的状况!其实你才是始作俑者!你也太变态了吧?!
  雷:我是你的朋友。
  乔希:你想要我怎样?!你到底想怎样?!
  雷:我以为要是我帮了你——要是你需要
  我——你会让我成为你生活的一份子。
  乔希:你在说什么啊?
  雷:我看到你拥有的一切:你的房子、你的朋友、你的工作。我也想拥有这一切。我想找回过去的一切。我本来有妻有儿!现在什么都没了!
  
  口语锦囊
  又是例牌的role-play时间啦!这段对话的长度足以排练一部短剧,但其中没有太多生词或语法点,在完整的情节中还有一个出人意料的转折,所以对话双方的心理感情和语音语调都有明显的多种变化,很适合大家进行模仿练习。反复跟读熟练之后,和你的搭档表演出来吧,看看你们能否把这场激烈的交锋表现得淋漓尽致?
  
  雷离开了,三只怪物那焦头烂额的“常人”生活仍在继续……
  
  Aidan: What sets a human apart from a monster, aside from genetics, aside from the terrible truth? We walk the same streets. We wear the same clothes. You take a breath, and there we are, gulping[倒吸气] the same air. We’re walking in your footsteps. And even a monster can posses that most dominant[最显著的] of human emotions—fear.
  We know enough to remember what we once were. We know enough to fear what we can now do. And, like a human, we obsess over love, over life, over every lost cause[败局已定的事].
  We have the same weaknesses as you. But even this doesn’t make us normal. But it does make us...unforgettable.
  
  艾丹:人类和怪物到底区别何在——除了基因差异,除了“非人”这个可怕的真相以外?我们走在同一条路上。我们穿着一样的衣服。你们吸一口气,我们就在那里,呼吸着同样的空气。我们沿着你们的足迹走过。而且连怪物也拥有人类最主要的一种情绪——恐惧心。
  因为知道得太多,我们还记得自己过去的身份。因为知道得太多,我们害怕自己现在的能力。与此同时,我们像人类一样沉溺于爱情,忙于生活,对每一个既定的败局耿耿于怀。
  我们和你们有着一样的弱点。即使这样,我们也不是正常人。不过,这的确让我们……令人难忘。
  
  口语锦囊
  我们从小到大在古今中外的故事里听说过各种各样的神秘生物,如果给你一个变身的机会,你会选择变成哪种怪物呢?理由是什么?用五分钟时间整理一下思路和提纲(可能需要用词典查找一些词汇哦),然后在三分钟内和你的搭档交流一下吧——开动脑筋,尽管发挥奇思妙想吧!
  
  注1:火人节是一个反传统的美国狂欢节,来自世界各地的人们自备生活用品,在内华达州的荒漠中兴建一座只有八天寿命的“城市”,城中唯一提供的设施就是厕所。节日高潮是众人在空地上围成一个大圈,中间燃烧一个12米高的男人木像。每年都有大批标榜自由的年轻人到此以激进的方式“表现自己”。
  注2:“premedical”的缩写,指医学预科。
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