妻子和妈妈都掉进河里,你救谁?你先救谁?这个千古难题不知难倒多少为人夫、为人子者。生活中这句话多半是夫妻间的玩笑,但却真实反映了婆媳矛盾中最无奈的困境。而在社工看来,这个问题不是先救谁或只救谁的问题,而是如何互救的问题。这首先要知道矛盾的根源在哪里。婆媳矛盾首先是代际隔阂引发的文化习惯冲突,表现为角色期望的落差。例如,有的妈妈不介意儿子一周不洗袜子而会介意媳妇 Wives and mothers have fallen into the river, you save who? You first save who? Most of this sentence in life is a joke between husband and wife, but it truly reflects the contradiction between the most frustrating dilemma. In the opinion of social workers, this issue is not a matter of first saving or only saving but a problem of how to help each other. This must first know where the root causes of conflicts. The conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is, first and foremost, the conflict of cultural habits caused by the inter-generational estrangement, manifested as the gap in the role expectations. For example, some mothers do not mind their son does not wash socks a week and mind the wife