我在忙碌不堪的生活中写诗,在很多人以为的庸俗世故的生活中当一个诗人。我曾经试图将作为诗人的我,与为了养家糊口而从事商业工作的我彻底分开。一度,我以为他们能够分开。每次,当我将内心从工作频道转移到诗歌频道时,仿佛都需要使劲一掰,嘎嘣一声,心惊肉跳。在不断的写作,不断的与庸常功利,甚至必须抹杀思想锋芒的社会工作对抗的过程中,我的焦虑日渐增多。这种对抗性的焦虑,来自对自己内心的不信任。在这漫长的过程中,我一直在质问和寻找,哪一个我才是真正的我?我到底应该成为一 I am writing poetry in a busy life, working as a poet in the vulgar and secular life many people think. I once tried to separate myself, being a poet, from me, who was doing business in order to feed my family. For a time, I thought they could be separated. Every time, when I move my heart from the working channel to the poetry channel, it seems as if all I need to do is to make a fresh start. My anxiety is constantly increasing in the constant writing, my constant confrontation with ordinary utilitarians and even the need to eradicate the ideological social work. This antagonistic anxiety comes from a lack of trust in one’s own heart. In this long process, I have been asking and looking, which one I am the real me? Should I become a