自1979年,我国提倡一对夫妇只生育一个孩子的政策以来,笔者曾于1980、1983、1988年与有关方面对上海市的独生子女家庭教育进行了3次调查。1983年调查以后,曾在《父母必读》刊物上发表了一篇短文——《“四过”与“四怕”》。“四过”是:一是过分宠爱。独生子女的父母往往缺少爱子的分寸感,对孩子娇惯。二是过度保护。有些父母为孩子处处设防,把独生子女与客观世界之间隔上一层难以逾越的墙。三是过多照顾。对独生子女的生活、学习、劳动等一切事情都包办起来。四是过高期望。父母,甚至父母双方亲属都把各自的期望压在一个孩子身上。造成“四过”的主要原因,是由于家庭中只有一个孩子而引起父母及其亲属的紧张心 Since 1979, when China advocated a couple’s policy of giving birth only to one child, I conducted three surveys with Shanghai’s one-child family education in 1980, 1983 and 1988. After the investigation in 1983, an essay was published in the “Parents Must Read” magazine - “Four Says” and “Four Fears”. “Four over ” is: First, over-affection. Only-child parents often lack the sense of propriety of their children and spoil their children. Second, over-protection. Some parents fortify their children everywhere, separating the only child from the objective world by an insurmountable wall. Three is too much care. Everything about the only child’s life, study, labor and so on are arranged. Fourth, too high expectations. Parents, and even relatives of both parents, put their own expectations on a child. The main reason for the “four passes” is the nervousness of parents and their relatives caused by only one child in the family