修改,改出好文章

来源 :考试与评价·高一版 | 被引量 : 0次 | 上传用户:parabird
下载到本地 , 更方便阅读
声明 : 本文档内容版权归属内容提供方 , 如果您对本文有版权争议 , 可与客服联系进行内容授权或下架
论文部分内容阅读
  要提高作文水平,大量的練习固然很重要,而修改是提升英语作文档次的必要手段。
  俗话说:“文章不怕千遍改。”英文写作一般没有一次成功的,一定要进行反复修改,哪怕写一封短信或启事,也要进行修改。从某种意义上来说,好文章是改出来的。这里,笔者特别提倡同学们应自己独立地对文章进行修改。那么该如何进行修改呢?
  一、仔细检查,知错就改
   作文写好之后,一般都要修改。第一遍主要是检查错误。有些错误是由于粗心造成的,一眼就能够认识到问题所在;有些错误是比较隐含的,需要仔细检查才能看出来。
  1. 检查体裁,看文章的格式布局、开头和结尾用语是否正确;
  2. 检查要点是否齐全,字数是否符合要求;
  3. 检查语法是否有错误,可建议学生参考教科书或一些有关语法工具书;
  4. 检查拼写、大小写、标点符号及词形变化是否正确,行文是否流畅。
  这四个基本修改要点,不但要牢记于心,而且要能在平时的作文写作练习过程中熟练操作和运用。
  二、反复斟酌,改进用词
  修改作文不仅要把错误改出来,还要改进作文用词,使文章进一步完善。第一遍收笔后,第二遍主要是从词、句上进行推敲,使文章“充实”起来。事实上,同学们应该从用词造句的角度多下功夫,看看语言是否丰富。从词语上,尽可能运用已经学过的而且比较熟悉的词组、短语或成语;从句式上,力求变换各种句式;尝试用多种方法翻译,然后找出一个最佳表达。如下面这两个简单的句子,我们就可以有4、5种表达方式,你应该尝试着选择最合适、最贴切的句子。
  1. 我碰巧遇见他的叔叔。
  ① I happened to meet his uncle.
  ② I chanced to see his uncle.
  ③ I ran across his uncle.
  ④ I came across his uncle.
  ⑤ It (so) happened that I saw his uncle.
  2. 他直到昨天下午5点才来到这里。
  ① He came here at 5 p.m. yesterday.
  ② He did not come here until 5 p.m. yesterday.
  ③ Not until / till 5 p.m. did he come here yesterday.
  ④ It was not until / till 5 p.m. that he came here yesterday.
  这样,同学们虽然写的是一篇作文,但是反反复复修改的机会很多,而且每修改一次就是一次提高,一次升华。这种方法,较之不断写新文章能更有效地提高同学们的写作能力;而且,与此同时同学们也掌握了独立修改作文这把终生受用的金钥匙。
  一篇作文改好后,不要扔掉就不管了。把它保存好,过几天后再拿出来修改,然后写好后再保存起来。以后有时间了再拿出来修改。如此反复地修改时,要思考怎样把优美句子用到自己的文章中来,怎样把好的句子结构用在文章中。一篇文章经过几次修改后,把最后修改的文章誊写好,保存下来。
  下面是一篇学生英语习作,让我们来看看,这个同学是怎样运用上述方法对文章进行修改的。
  当然,这种做法,在具体的实施过程中应注意以下两点:
  1. 要尽量做到“五多”:多看、多听、多思考、多查字典、多写写作文改进过程中的体验和感受。
  2. 教师评改。我们提倡同学们自己修改,但并不代表教师放手不管,而是应请老师加以指导。
  最后一步,从反复修改的几篇作文中选出自己的“代表作”,以优秀作文展的形式展示在全班同学面前。这样,同学们从开始构思,列出写作提纲、初稿、二稿、三稿,经润饰、定稿,面对经过一番修改完成的作品,一定会为自己的作品和进步感到自豪。
  【例文】
  某对外发行的英文报纸对中国群众体育现状进行了调查,请根据下列提示,用英语写一篇报道,向该报投稿。
  体育活动的人口比例:35%。
  影响人们参加体育活动的客观原因:50%的人认为没有时间;34.9%的人认为没有地方;12.9%的人认为离锻炼的场地太远;有些人甚至不知道该怎样进行锻炼。
  针对以上状况作出说明:
  1. 缺乏体育锻炼会使人们的体质下降;
  2. 应充分认识体育锻炼的重要性;
  3. 应采取措施,提供人们锻炼的场地和器材(facilities);
  4. 词数:140左右。
  修改前:
  Recently we made a survey of people doing physical training. Only 35 percent of the people survey① have taken part in physical activities, but the rest have never taken part in physical activities (A).  There are many reasons for this.
  Over half of the people say they haven’t got enough time to do exercises②. Another 34.9% of them say (B) that they don’t have any place where they can relax and there are not  enough training facilities. Twelve point nine percent of the people say (C) that they live too far away from training centers. Some of them even don’t know how to train.   Because③ the lack of physical training, many people have bad health (D). People should realize the important④ of it, and measures should be made⑤ to provide people with more training facilities and places for relaxing.
  第一步,改錯。(简析如下)
  ① survey应改为surveyed。此处survey一词作定语,来修饰people这一名词,表示“被调查的人”,意义上为被动,所以用过去分词surveyed来修饰。
  ② exercises应改为exercise。exercise一词作“练习,训练,作业”时为可数名词,作锻炼、运动时为不可数名词。
  ③ Because应改为Because of。because引导一个从句,because of后接名词。此处需连接一个名词,用介词词组Because of即可。
  ④important应改为importance。此处作动词realize的宾语,故要用名词形式importance。
  ⑤ be made应改为be taken。此处意为“采取措施”,对应的词组为“take measures to do sth.”,其被动形式的动词为“taken”。
  第二步,改进。(简析如下)
  (A) have never taken part in physical activities,这一句与上一句重复,应进行改进,此处可以用省略句来避免重复,省略时,never的位置需前置“never have”。
  (B)  say应改为complain / feel / think。根据文章意思表达人们的看法可以采用多种表达方式,应力求变换各种句式,尝试用多种方法翻译,避免重复。
  (C) say应改为complain / feel。(同上)
  (D) have bad health应改为are in bad health。此处不符合英文的表达方式。表示某人健康状态时,我们一般用词组“be in bad /poor / good health”。
  修改后:
  Recently we made a survey of people doing physical training. Only 35 percent of the people surveyed have taken part in physical activities, but the rest never have. There are many reasons for this.
  Over half of the people say they haven’t got enough time to do exercise. Another 34.9% of them complain that they don’t have any place where they can relax and there are not enough training facilities. Twelve point nine percent of the people feel that they live too far away from the training centers. Some of them even don’t know how to train.
  Because of the lack of physical training, many people are in bad health. People should realize the importance of it, and measures should be taken to provide people with more training facilities and places for relaxing.
其他文献
【试题再现】(节选,保留原题号)  I. 句子理解(Sentences)(共5小题,计5分)  请听下面五个句子,并从所给图片中选出与你所听到的句子内容相符的选项。有一个多余选项。每个句子读两遍。(每小题1分)   1. ___ 2. ___ 3. ___ 4. ___ 5. ___  【录音原文】  1. W: Would you like to go on a picnic with my
期刊
For the past four years, the Green Festival in Washington, D.C., has brought together people from around the country who are interested in the environmental movement. People call the festival “a party
期刊
不可否认,每个人都有缺点,但是如果我们能够认识到自己的缺点,并加以利用,就可以人尽其才,物尽其用,最终取得成功!  A water bearer① had two large pots, hung on either end of a pole that he carried across his neck. One pot had a hole in it, while the other wa
期刊
Professor Yuan Longping, the father of hybrid rice, expressed the hope that he would grow more crops on less farmland. The 90-year-old scientist is the pioneer of hybrid rice research and he has been
期刊
Tu Youyou has become the first Chinese woman to win a Nobel Prize, for her work in helping to create an anti-malaria medicine. The 90-year-olds route to the honor has been anything but traditional. In
期刊
I. A few rules  Where to sit If you get on a bus, tube or train, don’t sit next to a stranger, however pleasant he or she may look, if there is a free seat somewhere else. Choosing a seat next to some
期刊
第一部分:听力 (30分)  第一节 (7.5分)  听下面5段对话。每段对话后有一个小题,从题中所给的A、B、C三个选项中选出最佳选项。听完每段对话后,你都有10秒钟的时间来回答有关小题和阅读下一小题。每段对话仅读一遍。  1. What is the probable relationship between the two speakers?  A. A teacher and a stud
期刊
英语中的语态可以分为主动语态和被动语态两种,这是根据主语和谓语动词之间的关系来划分的。如果主语是动作的执行者,谓语动词就用主动语态;如果主语是动作的承受者,就用被动语态。被动语态的构成形式是“助动词be + 及物动词的过去分词”,其中be的形式变化同系动词be。因此,要做好被动语态试题除了掌握被动语态的基本含义、基本构成之外,一定要注意与时态的联系,并注意将动词的用法放在具体的语言环境中加以掌握。
期刊
1. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks, otherwise it will digest itself. 为了防止把自己消化掉,你的胃不得不每两周就造出一层新的粘膜。  2. Owls are the only birds that can see the colour blue. 猫头鹰是唯一能看见
期刊
第一部分 听力 (30分)  第一节 (7.5分)  听下面5段对话。每段对话后有一个小题,从题中所给的A、B、C三个选项中选出最佳选项。听完每段对话后,你都有10秒钟的时间来回答有关小题和阅读下一小题。每段对话仅读一遍。  1. How old is Jane now?  A. 22. B. 27. C. 29.  2. What does the woman suggest?  A. The
期刊