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Dear Mrs He，
I am writing a letter to you. Now it’s 22：45. And I finished my homework yesterday. Are you in Changsha or Zhuzhou？ Tomorrow I’ll go to Xinhua Bookstore with Luo Yunfeng.
I can finish the homework faster， but I went back to Yueyang and I had much fun. I played with my cousin， ate many great food and played basketball. But I forgot to do my homework.
On 8th， 9th， 10th August， I went to Zhangjiajie with my father. We visited many scenic spots. I took many photoes of them.
I don’t have much time to study for the test. It’s too late. So I have to go bad now. I hope you can be prettier when I see you. And I want to get more points in the test.
Thanks for your teach.
Your student
Yi Zhenyuan
贺喜云老师点评：
本文是由七年级学生在暑假期间写给老师的一封电子邮件，主要是描述他暑假期间做了些什么事情。作文需要用到七年级下学期刚接触的一般过去时态。这个学生在写作时能够比较准确地运用一般过去时态，表达清晰，有一定的顺序，如：finished， went back， had much fun， played， ate， forgot， took， visited等，尤其是作文篇幅比较长，描写比较细致，词汇运用不重复。这都是值得肯定和表扬的。
当然，作为初一的学生，受知识水平的限制，小作者在行文中也存在一些拼写错误和语法错误，如大小写没注意到等。如：I have to go bad应该是go to bed，Photo的复数多加了一个e， many great food应该是much great food， Thanks for your teach应该是teaching.
Dear Mrs He，
Now it’s 22：45. I am writing a letter to you. Are you in Changsha or Zhuzhou？ Tomorrow I’ll go to Xinhua Bookstore with Luo Yunfeng.
I finished my homework yesterday. I should have finished my homework earlier， but I went back to Yueyang and I had much fun there. I played together with my cousin， ate lots of great food and played basketball. But I forgot to do my homework.
On 8th， 9th， 10th August， I was in Zhangjiajie with my father for three days. We visited many places of interest. I took many photos of them.
I don’t have much time to study for the test. It’s too late， so I have to go to bed now. I hope you will be prettier when I see you again. And I want to get higher marks in the test.
Thanks for your teaching.
Your student
Yi Zhengyuan
I am writing a letter to you. Now it’s 22：45. And I finished my homework yesterday. Are you in Changsha or Zhuzhou？ Tomorrow I’ll go to Xinhua Bookstore with Luo Yunfeng.
I can finish the homework faster， but I went back to Yueyang and I had much fun. I played with my cousin， ate many great food and played basketball. But I forgot to do my homework.
On 8th， 9th， 10th August， I went to Zhangjiajie with my father. We visited many scenic spots. I took many photoes of them.
I don’t have much time to study for the test. It’s too late. So I have to go bad now. I hope you can be prettier when I see you. And I want to get more points in the test.
Thanks for your teach.
Your student
Yi Zhenyuan
贺喜云老师点评：
本文是由七年级学生在暑假期间写给老师的一封电子邮件，主要是描述他暑假期间做了些什么事情。作文需要用到七年级下学期刚接触的一般过去时态。这个学生在写作时能够比较准确地运用一般过去时态，表达清晰，有一定的顺序，如：finished， went back， had much fun， played， ate， forgot， took， visited等，尤其是作文篇幅比较长，描写比较细致，词汇运用不重复。这都是值得肯定和表扬的。
当然，作为初一的学生，受知识水平的限制，小作者在行文中也存在一些拼写错误和语法错误，如大小写没注意到等。如：I have to go bad应该是go to bed，Photo的复数多加了一个e， many great food应该是much great food， Thanks for your teach应该是teaching.
Dear Mrs He，
Now it’s 22：45. I am writing a letter to you. Are you in Changsha or Zhuzhou？ Tomorrow I’ll go to Xinhua Bookstore with Luo Yunfeng.
I finished my homework yesterday. I should have finished my homework earlier， but I went back to Yueyang and I had much fun there. I played together with my cousin， ate lots of great food and played basketball. But I forgot to do my homework.
On 8th， 9th， 10th August， I was in Zhangjiajie with my father for three days. We visited many places of interest. I took many photos of them.
I don’t have much time to study for the test. It’s too late， so I have to go to bed now. I hope you will be prettier when I see you again. And I want to get higher marks in the test.
Thanks for your teaching.
Your student
Yi Zhengyuan