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电脑的普及给我们带来了方便,但如果使用不当,它就会影响我们的健康。请根据下面的要点,用英语写一篇短文,指出过度使用电脑给人体健康的危害,并提出改善建议。
1. 长时间使用电脑伤害眼睛,影响视力;
2. 对电脑的过度依赖造成记忆力减退;
3. 在电脑前久坐容易引发肥胖、腰背不适等症状。
注意:1. 字数120左右;
2. 可根据内容适当增加细节,以使行文连贯。
【习作一】
Computers employed more universally, increasing people begin to use them. There is no doubt that they make our life convenient. Yet, they will affect our health if used inappropriately.
As is well known to us that long-term use of computers is able to hurt our eyes, which influences eyesight. In addition, too much dependence on them will cause our memory to decrease. And we will find our back uncomfortable and put on weight when sitting too long.
In view of what computers bring to us, it is high time that we should take effective measures. Have a rest at intervals when using them. Play outdoor games rather than play computer games. All in all, getting less touch to them as much as possible.
总体来说,这篇短文写的还不错。
【亮点句式】
第一句用用到了独立主格结构Computers employed more universally。
第二句用到了同位语从句,that they make our life convenient作doubt的同位语,对doubt起补充说明的作用。
最后一段的第一句话很漂亮,In view of 后用了一个由what 引导的宾语从句,主干句中用到了it is high time that... 的结构,此结构中从句中的谓语部分用过去时或should加动词原形,注意should不能省略。
【高级词汇】
universally, inappropriately, convenient, uncomfortable,effective,in addition, at intervals,rather than。
【不足之处】
文章的第二段第一句话As is well known to us that long-term use... 中出现了语法错误,应该改为 As is known to us, long-term use...或It’s well known that long-term use ...
最后一句话写成一个主谓结构的句子可能更好,可改为We should use computers properly in case they do harm to our health.
【习作一】
With computers becoming more universal, more and more people start to use them. You may not know that if not being used appropriately, computers may do harm to our health.
For example, when keeping staring at screens, our eyes will suffer a lot and what leaves to us will only be poor eyesight.
In addition, it’s easy for us to feel backache and grow obese after sitting too long before computers.
Therefore, we should take measures to protect our health. And my suggestion is that people should control the time they using computers and take exercise occassionaly.
此短文段落层次清晰,句子结构灵活多样。
【亮点句式】
with的复合结构:With computers becoming more universal ...
连词跟分词作状语:if not being used appropriately ...
主语从句:what leaves to us ...
表语从句:my suggestion is that people should control the time they using computers and take exercise occassionaly等。
【高级词汇】
universal, therefore, appropriately, in addition等等。
【不足之处】
第一段中的being是多余的。
第二段中的状语部分用到了连词跟分词,在这一句话里显然不合语法规则,后面主句中的主语跟分词之间没有逻辑上的主谓关系,所以不能采用这种结构,应改为when we keep staring at screens。
倒数第二段的句子也不地道。
拼写错误:短文中的最后一个单词应该是occasionally。
【范文】
As computers are being used more and more widely in our life, they have brought us a lot of convenience. However, attention should be paid to its bad effects on people’s health.
To begin with, the bright screen and the frequently-rolling words on it do much harm to our eyes, and using the computer frequently gradually weakens our eyesight. Besides, depending too much on computers may lead to a worse memory. Most importantly, using computers, people tend to sit before them for a long time. That is the reason why many people often feel uncomfortable in the back. And some may even get too fat.
To improve the situation, I think there should be a short rest every other hour to relax our eyes and brain. What’s more, avoid using the computer unless necessary. After all, we can keep out of the trouble it brings us if we use it properly.
1. 长时间使用电脑伤害眼睛,影响视力;
2. 对电脑的过度依赖造成记忆力减退;
3. 在电脑前久坐容易引发肥胖、腰背不适等症状。
注意:1. 字数120左右;
2. 可根据内容适当增加细节,以使行文连贯。
【习作一】
Computers employed more universally, increasing people begin to use them. There is no doubt that they make our life convenient. Yet, they will affect our health if used inappropriately.
As is well known to us that long-term use of computers is able to hurt our eyes, which influences eyesight. In addition, too much dependence on them will cause our memory to decrease. And we will find our back uncomfortable and put on weight when sitting too long.
In view of what computers bring to us, it is high time that we should take effective measures. Have a rest at intervals when using them. Play outdoor games rather than play computer games. All in all, getting less touch to them as much as possible.
总体来说,这篇短文写的还不错。
【亮点句式】
第一句用用到了独立主格结构Computers employed more universally。
第二句用到了同位语从句,that they make our life convenient作doubt的同位语,对doubt起补充说明的作用。
最后一段的第一句话很漂亮,In view of 后用了一个由what 引导的宾语从句,主干句中用到了it is high time that... 的结构,此结构中从句中的谓语部分用过去时或should加动词原形,注意should不能省略。
【高级词汇】
universally, inappropriately, convenient, uncomfortable,effective,in addition, at intervals,rather than。
【不足之处】
文章的第二段第一句话As is well known to us that long-term use... 中出现了语法错误,应该改为 As is known to us, long-term use...或It’s well known that long-term use ...
最后一句话写成一个主谓结构的句子可能更好,可改为We should use computers properly in case they do harm to our health.
【习作一】
With computers becoming more universal, more and more people start to use them. You may not know that if not being used appropriately, computers may do harm to our health.
For example, when keeping staring at screens, our eyes will suffer a lot and what leaves to us will only be poor eyesight.
In addition, it’s easy for us to feel backache and grow obese after sitting too long before computers.
Therefore, we should take measures to protect our health. And my suggestion is that people should control the time they using computers and take exercise occassionaly.
此短文段落层次清晰,句子结构灵活多样。
【亮点句式】
with的复合结构:With computers becoming more universal ...
连词跟分词作状语:if not being used appropriately ...
主语从句:what leaves to us ...
表语从句:my suggestion is that people should control the time they using computers and take exercise occassionaly等。
【高级词汇】
universal, therefore, appropriately, in addition等等。
【不足之处】
第一段中的being是多余的。
第二段中的状语部分用到了连词跟分词,在这一句话里显然不合语法规则,后面主句中的主语跟分词之间没有逻辑上的主谓关系,所以不能采用这种结构,应改为when we keep staring at screens。
倒数第二段的句子也不地道。
拼写错误:短文中的最后一个单词应该是occasionally。
【范文】
As computers are being used more and more widely in our life, they have brought us a lot of convenience. However, attention should be paid to its bad effects on people’s health.
To begin with, the bright screen and the frequently-rolling words on it do much harm to our eyes, and using the computer frequently gradually weakens our eyesight. Besides, depending too much on computers may lead to a worse memory. Most importantly, using computers, people tend to sit before them for a long time. That is the reason why many people often feel uncomfortable in the back. And some may even get too fat.
To improve the situation, I think there should be a short rest every other hour to relax our eyes and brain. What’s more, avoid using the computer unless necessary. After all, we can keep out of the trouble it brings us if we use it properly.