An Application Letter

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  Dear Ms. Butler, My name is Anna. I am a middle school student. It takes me only about ten minutes to get the Animal Center by subway. I really love animals and I would like to help them. I believe I can become a good helper. Because I have some medical knowledges. I want to be a International Animal Helpers volunteer. Can you choose me?
  Best wishes!
  Anna
  李 红老师点评:
  这是一篇应用文习作,内容是根据所给信息写一封申请信。从整体来说有以下优点:1. 书信格式正确。2. 所给信息点全部用上。3. 句子基本上连贯、通顺,能准确表达意思,并且没有太多拼写或语法错误。4. 能运用所学的短语及句型,如:by subway; would like; want to be; It takes sb. some time to do sth. 但习作仍有一些不足之处:1. 语篇逻辑有点乱,应先写申请成为志愿者的句子,再陈述理由, 并且可加上过渡词,如:first, second, third。2. 语法错误:a International Animal Helpers volunteer 应为 an International Animal Helpers volunteer; some knowledges 应为some knowledge,因为knowledge 是不可数名词;Because 处是原因状语从句,应小写,前面用逗号。3. 最后一句有点中式英语。
  Dear Ms. Butler, My name is Anna. I am a middle school student. I know you need a volunteer from the newspaper. I want to be an International Animal Helpers volunteer. I have some reasons. First, I really love animals and I would like to help them. Second, I have some medical knowledge, so I believe I can become a good helper. Third, it takes me only about ten minutes to get the Animal Center by subway. Would you like to give me a chance?
  Best wishes!
  Anna
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