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【栏目要求】
1. 将学生习作根据中考分值给出成绩; 2. 在应该修改的地方划线并标注序号;
3. 根据所标序号进行修改并说明修改的理由; 4. 给学生习作点评<优点与不足>;
5. 请点评名师提供简历一份,包括:学校、职务、 职称、荣誉、教研教学成果、照片一张。
投稿邮箱: zxsyy2007@163.com或whzxsyy@163.com
来稿请寄: 430079 华中师范大学外国语学院《中学生英语》 杂志社 收
Helping Each Other Makes the World Wonderful
Hello, everyone. I’m Zhou Ming. It’s nice to speak about help here. As we know, nobody is perfect. So it is nature① when you need help. If you want to get help from others, you should help others first.
What can you get when you offer help to others? You’ll get friendship when you help your classmates. If we give a hand to the old people, we can understand the meaning of pleasure. You can get happy② when you help patients. If you help others, they’ll thank you from their hearts. You will remember③ in their minds. That’ll be a great feeling for everyone. As the saying goes, to give is much better than to receive.
So, my dear friends, let’s offer help to others. I’m sure you’ll feel happy.
安徽省濉溪县四铺中心学校八(2)班 周明
1. 优点:
本文作者运用了较丰富的句式进行描写,多处使用了复合句,还使用了一些高级点的词汇,使文章更加生动。作者在文章的最后用人生格言“To give is much better than to receive.”作总结,也体现出帮助别人、收获快乐的高尚境界。
2. 需要修改的地方:
① 改为natural。nature是名词,表示“自然”,natural是形容词,表示“自然的”;
② 改为happiness。本句表达“当你帮助病人时,你会得到快乐”,形容词happy应改为名词happiness;
③ 改为will be remembered。本句表达“你将被别人记在脑海里”,因此应使用被动结构。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分20分的标准,本文修改前可得18分。
1. 将学生习作根据中考分值给出成绩; 2. 在应该修改的地方划线并标注序号;
3. 根据所标序号进行修改并说明修改的理由; 4. 给学生习作点评<优点与不足>;
5. 请点评名师提供简历一份,包括:学校、职务、 职称、荣誉、教研教学成果、照片一张。
投稿邮箱: zxsyy2007@163.com或whzxsyy@163.com
来稿请寄: 430079 华中师范大学外国语学院《中学生英语》 杂志社 收
Helping Each Other Makes the World Wonderful
Hello, everyone. I’m Zhou Ming. It’s nice to speak about help here. As we know, nobody is perfect. So it is nature① when you need help. If you want to get help from others, you should help others first.
What can you get when you offer help to others? You’ll get friendship when you help your classmates. If we give a hand to the old people, we can understand the meaning of pleasure. You can get happy② when you help patients. If you help others, they’ll thank you from their hearts. You will remember③ in their minds. That’ll be a great feeling for everyone. As the saying goes, to give is much better than to receive.
So, my dear friends, let’s offer help to others. I’m sure you’ll feel happy.
安徽省濉溪县四铺中心学校八(2)班 周明
1. 优点:
本文作者运用了较丰富的句式进行描写,多处使用了复合句,还使用了一些高级点的词汇,使文章更加生动。作者在文章的最后用人生格言“To give is much better than to receive.”作总结,也体现出帮助别人、收获快乐的高尚境界。
2. 需要修改的地方:
① 改为natural。nature是名词,表示“自然”,natural是形容词,表示“自然的”;
② 改为happiness。本句表达“当你帮助病人时,你会得到快乐”,形容词happy应改为名词happiness;
③ 改为will be remembered。本句表达“你将被别人记在脑海里”,因此应使用被动结构。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分20分的标准,本文修改前可得18分。