留美学生变身“社交女王”

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  对于在国外进修的中国留学生而言,要完全融入到异国他乡的社交圈子里实在不是一件容易的事,而要加入美国大学中的兄弟会或姐妹会更是需要十足勇气。来看看留美女生缪思是如何蜕变成“社交女王”的吧!
  When many Chinese studying abroad lock themselves in the dorm, library or the “comfort zone” of hanging out with fellow countrymen, Miao Si has broken the cocoon and emerged as a social butterfly among her foreign peers.
  Miao, 19, is spending her second year at the University of Wisconsin, US. When she first arrived at the school, Miao threw herself into parties held by Americans.
  Miao explained, “Chinese on a foreign land tend to flock together. But I pay extra efforts to mingle with Americans because a person’s social circle determines his/her life. I want a ‘real’ US college life.”
  Party is big in Americans’ campus life. Fraternities and sororities hold parties with various themes every week. You can dance heartily in clubs or enjoy drinking games in a local student’s house.
  Miao didn’t worry about dressing up—the dress code is as casual as vest, skirt and sneakers. The part that worried her was having small talks with strangers at parties.
  Puzzling slang kept popping up during the conversation. Boys were crazy about American football. Girls were all talking about Jersey Shore, a TV show popular in the US but unfamiliar to Chinese.
  There are few people who are happy to repeat them—selves for you to understand what they are talking about. Facing “cold shoulders”, Miao had no other choice but to keep asking and learning. Her small—talk skills improved thanks to her party experiences and proved vital to Miao’s success in the rush for sororities at the beginning of her sophomore year.
  Miao rushed for 11 recruiting activities held by different sororities in one night. She chatted with a member from each sorority on various topics, trying hard to find chemistry with each member. If the member feels the chemistry, you are in. If not, the picky “judges” will tell you that you are out with an impatient look. It sounds like a job interview, but is far more difficult than that.
  “You can google some background information about the company before a job interview,” said Miao. “But it’s impossible to know about the randomly assigned ‘interviewers’ at sororities in advance. I had to keep starting small talks to find common ground.”
  Miao was the only international student confident enough to rush for sororities at her university this year. And she got admitted to her favorite sorority.
  “Rushing for recruiting activities held by sororities is the most challenging social activity I’ve ever been through. Now I think I can handle any social situation in the future,” said Miao.
  当很多中国留学生选择将自己关在寝室、图书馆中,抑或是待在中国同伴扎堆的“自在地带”中消磨时光时,缪思早已破茧而出,成为外国同伴中的社交女王。
  19岁的缪思现在在美国威斯康星大学读大二。她一到学校便参加到各种美国人举办的派对中去。
  对此,缪思解释说:“中国人到国外常常会扎堆聚在一起,而我之所以想方设法地想要融入到美国人的圈子里,是因为一个人的社交圈决定了他/她的生活状态。我要的是那种真正的美国大学生活。”
  派对在美国的大学生活中占有举足轻重的地位。兄弟会和姐妹会每个星期都会召开各种各样的主题派对。你可以在俱乐部里尽情地跳舞或到当地学生家中玩酒桌游戏。
  缪思并不用为着装发愁,服装要求通常十分随意,背心、短裙加帆布鞋就OK了。她担心的是如何在聚会上与陌生人聊天闲谈。
  聊天过程中时不时地蹦出几个令人费解的俚语。男生们痴迷于橄榄球,女生们的话题则离不开美国当红真人秀节目“泽西海岸”,而中国学生对该节目知之甚少。
  很少有人会愿意为了让你听懂他们在说什么,而重复他们刚刚说过的话。当遭遇旁人的冷漠时,缪思别无选择,只能不停发问和学习。她的交谈技巧能够得以提高,参加派对的经历功不可没。也正是这些技巧使得她能够在大二伊始成功加入姐妹会。
  缪思曾在一个晚上赶场般地参加了11场由不同姐妹会举办的纳新活动。她同每个姐妹会中的一位成员就五花八门的话题展开交谈,极力地想在每位成员的身上找到默契。如果姐妹会的成员领会到了默契,你便有资格入会。否则,这些挑剔的“面试官”会用一副不耐烦的表情踢你出局。这听上去像是求职面试,却远比找工作还要困难。
  缪思表示:“在求职面试前,你可以到网上搜索关于这家公司的信息。可是要想事先了解姐妹会随机安排的“考官”的情况,那几乎是不可能的。因此我必须不停地交谈以寻找共同话题。”
  缪思是她所在学校,今年唯一一个有自信敢于参加姐妹会纳新活动的留学生。她最终加入了自己最喜欢的一个姐妹会。
  缪思说:“参加姐妹会的纳新活动是我所经历的最具挑战性的社交活动了。现在我觉得自己可以应付今后任何一个社交场合。”
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