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The high cost of parent is not unique to China. Though their parenting way is often praised and learned from by Chinese parents， foreign parents are not as carefree as they are imagined.
育儿成本高并不是中国独有的现象，国外育儿方式虽常被中国父母盛赞和效仿，但其实外国父母们也并不是想象中那般无忧无虑。
It costs highly to raise children in abroad and governments help
国外育儿价不菲，政府帮忙养孩子
Nine years ago， a survey of more than 2，000 British adults conducted by showed： old mothers， increasing housing prices and soaring cost of education of children had made British families "shrink". The one of every 5 interviewed couples decided not to have children. Among the people who did not want to have a family， 37% believed that it was because they did not want to compromise on their own way of living， while the other 15% were people who had to postpone the plan of having a family due to living expenses. Among the respondents， a small number of people were very eager to have more children， but delayed it because of funding problems. More than one third of the age of 25 to 34 years old were postponing their plan to have children due to funding problems and some 24% of the people had been waiting for more than 5 years. How much is the cost of children in Britain？ According to a research result provided by CEBR for the Vitoria Insurance Company in Liverpool， the cost of child rearing of a British family （from birth to 21 years old） is up to 230，000 pounds， 82，000 pounds more than that of ten years ago. The research found that many British families， in order to save money， reduce the cost of buying toys or even food for their children， but even so， the savings are still unable to fill the gap caused by the rising cost of children.
The Costs of Kids Report released in 2013 by Australia's Suncorp Metway Bank showed that their cost of kids climbed to 250 AUD per week， including 12 costs such as that of food， health care and education and so on. The cost of the age of 17 from the birth of a child to 18 years old is the most expensive. Monique Reynolds， Regional Manager of the bank said that costs of kids are increasing at an surprising rate and in the past year， cost of nursing and health care of children rose by 17%， much faster than the rising speed of consumer price index. In different stages， infants cost 220 AUD every week； children cost 185 AUD a week spent； pupils cost 180 AUD every week and teenage costs as high as 258 AUD every week. Calculated like this， the average annual cost kids in Australia is almost up to 10000 AUD， and it takes 180000 AUD for raising a child to 18 years old. The U.S. Department of Agriculture had assessment in 2014 on the national cost of children. According to the report， from the time a child was born to 18 years old， the parents of a middle-income family would spent more than 245，000 USD for the child. The cost of kids was affected by region and income. The cost of child of the family that lived in the northeastern of the U.S. could be as high as 455，000 USD， while those families living in low-income areas could spend much less， with about 145，500 USD. Yet the cost of university was not included in these numbers， and the cost of university education was rising year by year. However， the report also said， in that toys and clothes could be reused and pursing more food would be cheaper， raising more children would lower the cost. A family with 3 or more than 3 children cost 22% less than a family with two.
早在九年前，英国斯基普顿房屋互助委员会对两千多名英国成年人进行的调查显示：高龄母亲、住房价格上扬以及加速上涨的子女教育费用正迫切使英国家庭“缩水”。受访的每5对夫妇中就有1对决心不要孩子。在不打算组建家庭的受访者中，37%认为这是因为他们不愿就自己的生活方式做出妥协，而另外的15%则是因生活开支而不得不将组建家庭的计划推迟。受访者中，也有人极度渴望生育更多子女，但因资金问题被迫将时间后延。年龄在25岁到34岁之间的受访者中，超过三分之一的人都因资金问题已经或正在推延要小孩的时间，其中甚至有约24%的人已为此等待了5年以上的时间。英国的育儿成本有多高呢？根据英国经济和商业中心（CEBR）近期为利物浦维多利亚保险公司出具的一份研究结果表明，一个英国家庭的育儿经费（从孩子出生到21岁）高达23万英镑，比十年前增加了8.2万英镑。经过研究发现，很多英国家庭为了节省开支，削减了为孩子购买玩具甚至是食物的开支，但即便是这样，省下来的部分开支仍旧无法填补价格不断上涨的育儿项目。
澳大利亚SuncorpMetway银行2013年发布的育儿花费报告（Costs of Kids Report）表明，本国育儿消费已经攀升到每周250澳元，其中包含食品、健康和教育支出等12大支出项目。从孩子出生到18周岁的阶段里17岁时的花费是最昂贵的。银行区域总经理雷诺兹（Monique Reynolds）表示育儿费用正在以惊人的速度迅猛增长，在过去的一年里，儿童保育和健康护理花费上涨了17%，大大超出了消费者物价指数上升的速度。在孩子各阶段花费中，婴儿阶段每周花费220澳元；儿童阶段每周花费185澳元；小学阶段每周花费180澳元；青少年阶段每周花费更是高达258澳元。如此计算，澳大利亚平均每年在养育孩子的花费上达到了近1万澳元，将一个小孩养育至18岁大约需要花费18万澳元。
美国农业部在2014年也对全国育儿花费进行了预估。根据报告显示，孩子从出生成长到18周岁，一个中等收入家庭的父母将要花费超过24.5万美元来抚养他们的孩子。育儿费用支出受到区域和收入影响。住在美国东北部城市地区的家庭育儿经费可能高达45.5万美元，但是生活在低收入地区的家庭花费会少很多，大概14.55万美元。不过这些都没有算上孩子在大学时期的花费，而且大学教育费用支出正在逐年上涨。但报告也称，鉴于玩具和衣服可以重复利用，食物购买越多越实惠，因此养儿越多成本就越低。拥有3个及3个以上孩子的家庭，养儿成本比两个孩子的家庭要低22%。
For most European countries and the U.S.， although the cost of children is rising， at the same time， some countries come up with following support of raising children for every family. In Europe， France is the country with the highest birth rate， which is the result of high subsidies of the country to families. The government spends 8.3% of the GDP every year to support the families who make a contribution to the country by giving birth. Therefore married French parents do not have to worry about whether they can afford to raise children or not. If the parents’ income is too low， the child can enjoy all kinds of social subsidies. For single-parent families， the subsidies their children receive from government can exceed the income of a single father or a single mother. In addition to high subsidies， France also formulated a lot of policies to encourage people to have more children. For example， through reducing tax and providing subsidies at the same time. Since personal income tax accounts for a high proportion of the income， living pressure for the married people is on the rise. But once they have children， the government will reduce part of the personal income tax， and a second child will even bring with the high subsides of government. The British government also helps families with children. It provides 20.5 pounds children's welfare fund for the family with children every week， families with many children，can get 13.55 pounds for each child from the second child. To families with more than one child， it reduces the economic pressure on parents greatly. British newspaper once reported that a man who had 26 children got about 32678 pounds from governmental welfare projects. We will not discuss here whether it is moral for parents to make profit through children， but at least we can see that British government is comparatively generous in subsides of raising children.
对于多数欧美国家，尽管养育孩子的成本在不断升高，但与此同时，部分国家对于每个家庭育儿开支的扶持也紧随其后。在欧洲，法国是出生率最高的国家，这得益于国家对生育家庭给予的高额补助。政府每年花费国民生产总值的8.3%用来支持生育家庭对国家做出的贡献。这使得法国已婚父母完全不用担心生孩子养不起的问题。如果父母收入过低，孩子还能享受各种社会补助，对于单亲家庭来说，孩子受到的政府补助更是有可能超过单亲父亲或单亲母亲的工资。在高额补助的同时，法国还制定了很多政策来鼓励法国市民生育更多的孩子。例如通过减免税收与补助并行的策略。由于法国个人所得税占工资比例较高，已婚人士的生活压力也在不断上升。但生育孩子之后，政府将会减免部分个人所得税，在生育第二个孩子之后便可以享受政府带来的高额生育补助。
英国政府也对有孩子的家庭进行帮助，国家对生育家庭每周发放20.5镑儿童福利基金，有多个孩子的家庭，从第二个孩子开始，每个孩子还能领取13.55镑的支持。对于生育多个孩子的家庭来说，这大大减轻了父母的经济压力。英国就曾有报纸报道过男子靠生育26个子女在多个福利项目中领取政府福利补助约32678英镑。这里暂且不去探讨父母靠孩子谋取暴利的行为是否道德，但至少可以看到英国政府在对养育孩子的补助上是比较慷慨的。
Education cost is the main cost and we should be rational in raising child
教育支出占大头，养娃还需靠理性
Compared with some countries that encourage people to have more children and provide subsides for children， Chinese people tend to rely on their own. Before the implementation of the Selective Two-child Policy ， it is very common for one family to have one child. The government also implement incentive policies for only-child families， providing only-child subsides which vary from region to region. However， dozens of RMB does no help to the huge cost for children nowadays. With the improvement of living standards， raising a child does not only lie in the level of "raising" and more money are spent on "parenting"， like other countries. However， the parenting cost of China is almost all borne by the parents， and sometimes even need to turn to the elder family members of the child's parents for financial support. According to the survey conducted by the magazine Family Baby， Guangdong Women's Federation and some other media and institutions， in the first generation of only-child families， parenting cost accounts for 85% of all the costs. Among them， education， health care and housing cost the most.
On the parenting forum of Sina， a father called "big-head daddy” once listed his the monthly cost of his 4-year-old daughter （unit： RMB）： kindergarten nursery： 2000； meals： 400； piano： 600； roller skating： 200； traditional Chinese painting： 120； abacus： 240； babysitter： 1500； garments： 300； food and snacks： 400； toys， books and CD： 100； playing and watching shows： 100 （cost of companion of adults not included）； traveling： 200； education： 1500； milk powder： 100； medicine and treatment if she was sick. The monthly costs on average reaches 8，000 RMB， of which education cost is up to 60.8%. The parenting channel of Tencent got almost the same ratio from the questionnaires it got in Ji'nan. The interviewed people believed that education cost makes up the largest proportion in the total cost， for about 60%， followed by health care and insurance cost， which accounts for about 15%. The increasing education investment is one of the most important factors of the rise of cost of children. Although China implements compulsory education of nine years， nowadays the education cost is far more than what it was before. On the one hand， it is related to the improvement of income of all the people and that "money worths less and less"， on the other hand， it is affected by the educational concept and the shortage of high-quality educational resources. The faith of "Don't let the children fall behind at the starting line" is a great pressure on the parent， like the bill post by "big-head daddy"， the little girl is on the path of “comprehensive development” composed by extra-curricular classes. Seeing that other people’s children attend a variety of classes， an extra-curricular classes， few parents can resist the temptation. In addition to the tuition of class itself， in order to compete for high-quality educational resources， buying house in the school district， paying fees to choose school and cost of giving gifts to people have become a heavy cost that parents are not avoid. In Guiyang， Momo’s mother moved three times in five years in order to make it convenient for her daughter to go to school， which is the vivid modern version of the "Mencius' Mother Moves Her Home Three Times to Better Her Son's Education”. It can be seen that Momo’ mother spend great energy and large fortune to buy a house in school district to better her daughter’s education.
相对于一些国家鼓励生育并发放育儿福利，中国人在生养小孩所需的经费上更多的是靠自己。在单独二胎政策实施之前，一家一个孩子的现象极为普遍。政府也对独生子女家庭实行奖励政策，发放独生子女保障费，发放标准根据地区差异而不同，但几十元的保障费用对于如今庞大的育儿经费支出来说，只不过是杯水车薪。随着生活水平的提高，育儿也不再只是停留在“养”这个层面，更多的支出同其他国家一样，花费在“育”上。然而，中国育儿所产生的边际成本几乎全部由父母承担，有的甚至需要求助于孩子父母的长辈来进行经济支持。根据《家庭·育儿》杂志、广东妇联以及其它媒体和机关单位开展的调查显示，在第一代独生子女组成的家庭中，育儿支出占到了全部开支的85%。而其中，在教育、医疗和住房上花的钱最多。
在新浪育儿论坛上，一位名叫“大头爸爸”的父亲曾列出了他4岁女儿一个月的费用（单位：元）：幼儿园托费：2000；饭费：400；钢琴：600；轮滑：200；国画：120；珠心算：240：保姆费：1500；衣服：300；食物和零食：400；玩具、书和光盘：100；玩和看节目：100（不包括大人陪同的费用）；旅游：200；教育基金：1500；奶粉：100；如果生病，还要另外计算医药费。一年算下来，每个月平均近8000元，其中用于教育的费用高达60.8%。腾讯网育儿频道在济南的调查问卷中也显示出几乎一样的支出比例。被访者均认为教育支出在总支出中占的比例最大，大约占60%左右，其次是看病和买各种保险的花销，大约占到15%。
教育方面投入的增高是生养孩子成本升高极为重要的因素之一。虽然中国推行九年制义务教育，但如今的教育成本远远大过从前。这一方面与经济收入的整体水平提高以及“钱越来越不值钱”有关系，另一方面则受教育理念及优质教育资源短缺的影响。“不让孩子输在起跑线上”的信念成为压在家长身上的大山，正如“大头爸爸”晒出的账单，小小年纪的女儿已经开始走上了“全面发展”的课外兴趣班之路。看着别人的孩子狂报各种补习班、兴趣班，很少有家长按捺得住。除了上课本身的费用外，为了争夺优质教育资源，购买学区房、择校费、人情送礼费也成为家长们绕不开的沉重成本。在贵阳的茉茉妈为了女儿上学方便，在五年之内搬了三次家，生动演绎了现代版的“孟母三迁”。可见为了买学区房方便女儿上学，茉茉妈在精力和金钱上都下足了本。
Nicholas Eberstadt， Demographer of American Enterprise Institute （AEI） said that "The obvious fact is that great changes have taken place in people's views on family， children and the future. China is developing towards other low-fertility countries in East Asia， such as Japan， South Korea and so on." The website of Bloomberg once reported that many infant products are sold in China in much higher prices than that in the U.S.， partly because that Chinese parents are willing to spend a lot of money for their only offspring. WangFeng， Professor of sociology， University of California， Irvine thought， "the Chinese parents have a common cultural values， which emphases on children's success. They do this through putting a large investment in children." Mrs Zhao who lives in Beijing said， "I want to give the best of everything to my child”， but the result is that the best thing has very high price， and the pressure “soars". This wish of giving their children the best resources is very common for Chinese parents. They do not want to let their children fall behind at the starting line， but the high cost also burden the parents with heavy pressure. Mrs Zhao feels frustrated with an income that is not high and a relatively high cost of children. Sometime she has to reduce her on expense to meet the needs of her child. For most Chinese people， family has always been the focus of life and child is the core in the family. Many businessmen aims at such "pain points" of families， and make the parent-child consumption market popular without difficulty， making children as bait to empty the purse of their parents. But whether " to give children the best of everything" can surely bring "the best result"？ Lei Hong， Professor of Sociology Department of Huazhong University of Science and Technology thinks that giving all the best to children is to meet certain psychological needs of the adults， but there are unreasonable factors in the cost of children. Choosing school and choosing the best is the extra “supplement” that parents give their children， hoping to make them successful， and a lot of money is spent unnecessarily. The survey found that the economic investment for children is not necessarily proportional to their healthy growth. Over-encouraging of children to have high consumption will breed their desire to keep up with the Joneses and the concept that material comes first， which is bad for children's mental health， causing the deviation of and reality easily.
Compared with spoiling children with material， the investment of emotional education and quality education seems to be more effective. Some of the more "successful" parents say that they pay more attention to communicate with their children， putting more energy and money in cultivating the observation， expression and self-care ability of children， stimulating their self-confidence， curiosity and interest in learning. In the face of many unnecessary things such as "imported toys "， “all kinds of extra-curricular classes，" and "summer camp abroad"， parents should remain rational， rather than follow or compete blindly， choosing the parenting way in accordance with their own economic conditions， and abandoning the desire to pursue fame and profit. Gu Baochang， Professor of Population Development Studies Center of Renmin University of China once tried to persuade the young parents at present in an interview that they should place less emphasis on materials but more on connections. He said that the society should take more responsibility in having children， but if parents always hold the opinion that "material comes first"， their desire will be difficult to be fulfilled. The healthy growth of children is the first concern of every family， at present when the basic cost of children grows， parents should learn to be clever， do things within their capacities and get rid of the title of "slave to children". This can not only save some unnecessary expenses， but also relieve some unnecessary burden of children， making them grow up healthy and happily while improving life quality of the whole family. 美国企业研究所人口统计学家埃伯施塔特·尼古拉斯说：“显而易见的事实是，人们对家庭、孩子和前途的看法发生了巨变。中国正朝着其他低生育率的东亚国家的方向发展，例如日本和韩国等。”彭博社网站曾报道过许多婴幼儿产品在中国的售价比在美国高得多，部分原因是中国父母心甘情愿为他们唯一的后代花大钱。加利福尼亚大学欧文分校社会学教授汪峰（音）认为：“中国父母拥有共同的文化价值观，这种文化强调子女的成功。他们通过对孩子大笔投入来做到这一点。”在北京居住的赵女士就表示“什么都想给孩子最好的”，但带来的结果是最好的东西价格也很高，“压力一下就上去了”。这种希望给孩子最好资源的育儿心理在中国极为普遍，家长不愿意让孩子输在起跑线上，但是高额的费用也让很多家长深感压力。赵女士对于不算高的收入和相对高的育儿支出也表示无奈，很多时候只好缩紧自己的开支来满足孩子的需求。
对于大多数中国人来说，家庭一直都是生活的重心，孩子在家庭中更是处于核心地位。很多商家正是看中了这样的家庭“痛点”，才不费力气便炒火了亲子消费市场，用孩子做诱饵掏空父母的钱包。但是否“给孩子最好的一切”就一定能带来“最好的结果”？华中科技大学社会学系主任雷洪教授认为，一切都给孩子最好的，是满足成人的一种心理需求，但这些育儿成本里确有不合理成分，择校、培优，是家长望子成龙给孩子的额外“滋补”，花的不少都是冤枉钱。调查发现，对孩子的经济投入和他们的健康成长并不一定成正比。过分鼓励孩子高消费容易滋生他们的攀比心理和物质至上的心态，反而不利于孩子的心理健康发展，容易导致理想状态与客观现实的偏差。
相比于在物质上去娇惯孩子，情感教育和素质教育的投入似乎更能显成效。一些较为“成功”的父母表示，他们更注重和孩子沟通交流，把精力和金钱更多地放在培养孩子的观察、表达和生活自理能力上，去激发孩子自信心、求知欲和学习兴趣。面对许多诸如“进口玩具”、“各式培训班”、“出国夏令营”等非必需的项目，家长应当保持理性，不盲目效仿和攀比，选择符合自身经济条件的育儿支出方式，摒弃追名逐利的心理。中国人民大学人口与发展研究中心教授顾宝昌在一次采访中曾劝导当下的年轻父母要轻物质重感情。他表示，社会应该在生育方面承担更多的责任，但是父母如果总是抱着“物质第一”的心态养育后代，这样的欲壑将很难被填平。孩子的健康成长自然是每个家庭中所关注的大事，在基本的育儿成本不断增长的今天，要学会做聪明的家长，量力而为，主动摘掉“孩奴”的帽子。这样不仅可以节省不必要的开支，还能为孩子减去一些多余的负担，让孩子健康快乐成长的同时还能提升家庭整体的生活质量。
育儿成本高并不是中国独有的现象，国外育儿方式虽常被中国父母盛赞和效仿，但其实外国父母们也并不是想象中那般无忧无虑。
It costs highly to raise children in abroad and governments help
国外育儿价不菲，政府帮忙养孩子
Nine years ago， a survey of more than 2，000 British adults conducted by showed： old mothers， increasing housing prices and soaring cost of education of children had made British families "shrink". The one of every 5 interviewed couples decided not to have children. Among the people who did not want to have a family， 37% believed that it was because they did not want to compromise on their own way of living， while the other 15% were people who had to postpone the plan of having a family due to living expenses. Among the respondents， a small number of people were very eager to have more children， but delayed it because of funding problems. More than one third of the age of 25 to 34 years old were postponing their plan to have children due to funding problems and some 24% of the people had been waiting for more than 5 years. How much is the cost of children in Britain？ According to a research result provided by CEBR for the Vitoria Insurance Company in Liverpool， the cost of child rearing of a British family （from birth to 21 years old） is up to 230，000 pounds， 82，000 pounds more than that of ten years ago. The research found that many British families， in order to save money， reduce the cost of buying toys or even food for their children， but even so， the savings are still unable to fill the gap caused by the rising cost of children.
The Costs of Kids Report released in 2013 by Australia's Suncorp Metway Bank showed that their cost of kids climbed to 250 AUD per week， including 12 costs such as that of food， health care and education and so on. The cost of the age of 17 from the birth of a child to 18 years old is the most expensive. Monique Reynolds， Regional Manager of the bank said that costs of kids are increasing at an surprising rate and in the past year， cost of nursing and health care of children rose by 17%， much faster than the rising speed of consumer price index. In different stages， infants cost 220 AUD every week； children cost 185 AUD a week spent； pupils cost 180 AUD every week and teenage costs as high as 258 AUD every week. Calculated like this， the average annual cost kids in Australia is almost up to 10000 AUD， and it takes 180000 AUD for raising a child to 18 years old. The U.S. Department of Agriculture had assessment in 2014 on the national cost of children. According to the report， from the time a child was born to 18 years old， the parents of a middle-income family would spent more than 245，000 USD for the child. The cost of kids was affected by region and income. The cost of child of the family that lived in the northeastern of the U.S. could be as high as 455，000 USD， while those families living in low-income areas could spend much less， with about 145，500 USD. Yet the cost of university was not included in these numbers， and the cost of university education was rising year by year. However， the report also said， in that toys and clothes could be reused and pursing more food would be cheaper， raising more children would lower the cost. A family with 3 or more than 3 children cost 22% less than a family with two.
早在九年前，英国斯基普顿房屋互助委员会对两千多名英国成年人进行的调查显示：高龄母亲、住房价格上扬以及加速上涨的子女教育费用正迫切使英国家庭“缩水”。受访的每5对夫妇中就有1对决心不要孩子。在不打算组建家庭的受访者中，37%认为这是因为他们不愿就自己的生活方式做出妥协，而另外的15%则是因生活开支而不得不将组建家庭的计划推迟。受访者中，也有人极度渴望生育更多子女，但因资金问题被迫将时间后延。年龄在25岁到34岁之间的受访者中，超过三分之一的人都因资金问题已经或正在推延要小孩的时间，其中甚至有约24%的人已为此等待了5年以上的时间。英国的育儿成本有多高呢？根据英国经济和商业中心（CEBR）近期为利物浦维多利亚保险公司出具的一份研究结果表明，一个英国家庭的育儿经费（从孩子出生到21岁）高达23万英镑，比十年前增加了8.2万英镑。经过研究发现，很多英国家庭为了节省开支，削减了为孩子购买玩具甚至是食物的开支，但即便是这样，省下来的部分开支仍旧无法填补价格不断上涨的育儿项目。
澳大利亚SuncorpMetway银行2013年发布的育儿花费报告（Costs of Kids Report）表明，本国育儿消费已经攀升到每周250澳元，其中包含食品、健康和教育支出等12大支出项目。从孩子出生到18周岁的阶段里17岁时的花费是最昂贵的。银行区域总经理雷诺兹（Monique Reynolds）表示育儿费用正在以惊人的速度迅猛增长，在过去的一年里，儿童保育和健康护理花费上涨了17%，大大超出了消费者物价指数上升的速度。在孩子各阶段花费中，婴儿阶段每周花费220澳元；儿童阶段每周花费185澳元；小学阶段每周花费180澳元；青少年阶段每周花费更是高达258澳元。如此计算，澳大利亚平均每年在养育孩子的花费上达到了近1万澳元，将一个小孩养育至18岁大约需要花费18万澳元。
美国农业部在2014年也对全国育儿花费进行了预估。根据报告显示，孩子从出生成长到18周岁，一个中等收入家庭的父母将要花费超过24.5万美元来抚养他们的孩子。育儿费用支出受到区域和收入影响。住在美国东北部城市地区的家庭育儿经费可能高达45.5万美元，但是生活在低收入地区的家庭花费会少很多，大概14.55万美元。不过这些都没有算上孩子在大学时期的花费，而且大学教育费用支出正在逐年上涨。但报告也称，鉴于玩具和衣服可以重复利用，食物购买越多越实惠，因此养儿越多成本就越低。拥有3个及3个以上孩子的家庭，养儿成本比两个孩子的家庭要低22%。
For most European countries and the U.S.， although the cost of children is rising， at the same time， some countries come up with following support of raising children for every family. In Europe， France is the country with the highest birth rate， which is the result of high subsidies of the country to families. The government spends 8.3% of the GDP every year to support the families who make a contribution to the country by giving birth. Therefore married French parents do not have to worry about whether they can afford to raise children or not. If the parents’ income is too low， the child can enjoy all kinds of social subsidies. For single-parent families， the subsidies their children receive from government can exceed the income of a single father or a single mother. In addition to high subsidies， France also formulated a lot of policies to encourage people to have more children. For example， through reducing tax and providing subsidies at the same time. Since personal income tax accounts for a high proportion of the income， living pressure for the married people is on the rise. But once they have children， the government will reduce part of the personal income tax， and a second child will even bring with the high subsides of government. The British government also helps families with children. It provides 20.5 pounds children's welfare fund for the family with children every week， families with many children，can get 13.55 pounds for each child from the second child. To families with more than one child， it reduces the economic pressure on parents greatly. British newspaper once reported that a man who had 26 children got about 32678 pounds from governmental welfare projects. We will not discuss here whether it is moral for parents to make profit through children， but at least we can see that British government is comparatively generous in subsides of raising children.
对于多数欧美国家，尽管养育孩子的成本在不断升高，但与此同时，部分国家对于每个家庭育儿开支的扶持也紧随其后。在欧洲，法国是出生率最高的国家，这得益于国家对生育家庭给予的高额补助。政府每年花费国民生产总值的8.3%用来支持生育家庭对国家做出的贡献。这使得法国已婚父母完全不用担心生孩子养不起的问题。如果父母收入过低，孩子还能享受各种社会补助，对于单亲家庭来说，孩子受到的政府补助更是有可能超过单亲父亲或单亲母亲的工资。在高额补助的同时，法国还制定了很多政策来鼓励法国市民生育更多的孩子。例如通过减免税收与补助并行的策略。由于法国个人所得税占工资比例较高，已婚人士的生活压力也在不断上升。但生育孩子之后，政府将会减免部分个人所得税，在生育第二个孩子之后便可以享受政府带来的高额生育补助。
英国政府也对有孩子的家庭进行帮助，国家对生育家庭每周发放20.5镑儿童福利基金，有多个孩子的家庭，从第二个孩子开始，每个孩子还能领取13.55镑的支持。对于生育多个孩子的家庭来说，这大大减轻了父母的经济压力。英国就曾有报纸报道过男子靠生育26个子女在多个福利项目中领取政府福利补助约32678英镑。这里暂且不去探讨父母靠孩子谋取暴利的行为是否道德，但至少可以看到英国政府在对养育孩子的补助上是比较慷慨的。
Education cost is the main cost and we should be rational in raising child
教育支出占大头，养娃还需靠理性
Compared with some countries that encourage people to have more children and provide subsides for children， Chinese people tend to rely on their own. Before the implementation of the Selective Two-child Policy ， it is very common for one family to have one child. The government also implement incentive policies for only-child families， providing only-child subsides which vary from region to region. However， dozens of RMB does no help to the huge cost for children nowadays. With the improvement of living standards， raising a child does not only lie in the level of "raising" and more money are spent on "parenting"， like other countries. However， the parenting cost of China is almost all borne by the parents， and sometimes even need to turn to the elder family members of the child's parents for financial support. According to the survey conducted by the magazine Family Baby， Guangdong Women's Federation and some other media and institutions， in the first generation of only-child families， parenting cost accounts for 85% of all the costs. Among them， education， health care and housing cost the most.
On the parenting forum of Sina， a father called "big-head daddy” once listed his the monthly cost of his 4-year-old daughter （unit： RMB）： kindergarten nursery： 2000； meals： 400； piano： 600； roller skating： 200； traditional Chinese painting： 120； abacus： 240； babysitter： 1500； garments： 300； food and snacks： 400； toys， books and CD： 100； playing and watching shows： 100 （cost of companion of adults not included）； traveling： 200； education： 1500； milk powder： 100； medicine and treatment if she was sick. The monthly costs on average reaches 8，000 RMB， of which education cost is up to 60.8%. The parenting channel of Tencent got almost the same ratio from the questionnaires it got in Ji'nan. The interviewed people believed that education cost makes up the largest proportion in the total cost， for about 60%， followed by health care and insurance cost， which accounts for about 15%. The increasing education investment is one of the most important factors of the rise of cost of children. Although China implements compulsory education of nine years， nowadays the education cost is far more than what it was before. On the one hand， it is related to the improvement of income of all the people and that "money worths less and less"， on the other hand， it is affected by the educational concept and the shortage of high-quality educational resources. The faith of "Don't let the children fall behind at the starting line" is a great pressure on the parent， like the bill post by "big-head daddy"， the little girl is on the path of “comprehensive development” composed by extra-curricular classes. Seeing that other people’s children attend a variety of classes， an extra-curricular classes， few parents can resist the temptation. In addition to the tuition of class itself， in order to compete for high-quality educational resources， buying house in the school district， paying fees to choose school and cost of giving gifts to people have become a heavy cost that parents are not avoid. In Guiyang， Momo’s mother moved three times in five years in order to make it convenient for her daughter to go to school， which is the vivid modern version of the "Mencius' Mother Moves Her Home Three Times to Better Her Son's Education”. It can be seen that Momo’ mother spend great energy and large fortune to buy a house in school district to better her daughter’s education.
相对于一些国家鼓励生育并发放育儿福利，中国人在生养小孩所需的经费上更多的是靠自己。在单独二胎政策实施之前，一家一个孩子的现象极为普遍。政府也对独生子女家庭实行奖励政策，发放独生子女保障费，发放标准根据地区差异而不同，但几十元的保障费用对于如今庞大的育儿经费支出来说，只不过是杯水车薪。随着生活水平的提高，育儿也不再只是停留在“养”这个层面，更多的支出同其他国家一样，花费在“育”上。然而，中国育儿所产生的边际成本几乎全部由父母承担，有的甚至需要求助于孩子父母的长辈来进行经济支持。根据《家庭·育儿》杂志、广东妇联以及其它媒体和机关单位开展的调查显示，在第一代独生子女组成的家庭中，育儿支出占到了全部开支的85%。而其中，在教育、医疗和住房上花的钱最多。
在新浪育儿论坛上，一位名叫“大头爸爸”的父亲曾列出了他4岁女儿一个月的费用（单位：元）：幼儿园托费：2000；饭费：400；钢琴：600；轮滑：200；国画：120；珠心算：240：保姆费：1500；衣服：300；食物和零食：400；玩具、书和光盘：100；玩和看节目：100（不包括大人陪同的费用）；旅游：200；教育基金：1500；奶粉：100；如果生病，还要另外计算医药费。一年算下来，每个月平均近8000元，其中用于教育的费用高达60.8%。腾讯网育儿频道在济南的调查问卷中也显示出几乎一样的支出比例。被访者均认为教育支出在总支出中占的比例最大，大约占60%左右，其次是看病和买各种保险的花销，大约占到15%。
教育方面投入的增高是生养孩子成本升高极为重要的因素之一。虽然中国推行九年制义务教育，但如今的教育成本远远大过从前。这一方面与经济收入的整体水平提高以及“钱越来越不值钱”有关系，另一方面则受教育理念及优质教育资源短缺的影响。“不让孩子输在起跑线上”的信念成为压在家长身上的大山，正如“大头爸爸”晒出的账单，小小年纪的女儿已经开始走上了“全面发展”的课外兴趣班之路。看着别人的孩子狂报各种补习班、兴趣班，很少有家长按捺得住。除了上课本身的费用外，为了争夺优质教育资源，购买学区房、择校费、人情送礼费也成为家长们绕不开的沉重成本。在贵阳的茉茉妈为了女儿上学方便，在五年之内搬了三次家，生动演绎了现代版的“孟母三迁”。可见为了买学区房方便女儿上学，茉茉妈在精力和金钱上都下足了本。
Nicholas Eberstadt， Demographer of American Enterprise Institute （AEI） said that "The obvious fact is that great changes have taken place in people's views on family， children and the future. China is developing towards other low-fertility countries in East Asia， such as Japan， South Korea and so on." The website of Bloomberg once reported that many infant products are sold in China in much higher prices than that in the U.S.， partly because that Chinese parents are willing to spend a lot of money for their only offspring. WangFeng， Professor of sociology， University of California， Irvine thought， "the Chinese parents have a common cultural values， which emphases on children's success. They do this through putting a large investment in children." Mrs Zhao who lives in Beijing said， "I want to give the best of everything to my child”， but the result is that the best thing has very high price， and the pressure “soars". This wish of giving their children the best resources is very common for Chinese parents. They do not want to let their children fall behind at the starting line， but the high cost also burden the parents with heavy pressure. Mrs Zhao feels frustrated with an income that is not high and a relatively high cost of children. Sometime she has to reduce her on expense to meet the needs of her child. For most Chinese people， family has always been the focus of life and child is the core in the family. Many businessmen aims at such "pain points" of families， and make the parent-child consumption market popular without difficulty， making children as bait to empty the purse of their parents. But whether " to give children the best of everything" can surely bring "the best result"？ Lei Hong， Professor of Sociology Department of Huazhong University of Science and Technology thinks that giving all the best to children is to meet certain psychological needs of the adults， but there are unreasonable factors in the cost of children. Choosing school and choosing the best is the extra “supplement” that parents give their children， hoping to make them successful， and a lot of money is spent unnecessarily. The survey found that the economic investment for children is not necessarily proportional to their healthy growth. Over-encouraging of children to have high consumption will breed their desire to keep up with the Joneses and the concept that material comes first， which is bad for children's mental health， causing the deviation of and reality easily.
Compared with spoiling children with material， the investment of emotional education and quality education seems to be more effective. Some of the more "successful" parents say that they pay more attention to communicate with their children， putting more energy and money in cultivating the observation， expression and self-care ability of children， stimulating their self-confidence， curiosity and interest in learning. In the face of many unnecessary things such as "imported toys "， “all kinds of extra-curricular classes，" and "summer camp abroad"， parents should remain rational， rather than follow or compete blindly， choosing the parenting way in accordance with their own economic conditions， and abandoning the desire to pursue fame and profit. Gu Baochang， Professor of Population Development Studies Center of Renmin University of China once tried to persuade the young parents at present in an interview that they should place less emphasis on materials but more on connections. He said that the society should take more responsibility in having children， but if parents always hold the opinion that "material comes first"， their desire will be difficult to be fulfilled. The healthy growth of children is the first concern of every family， at present when the basic cost of children grows， parents should learn to be clever， do things within their capacities and get rid of the title of "slave to children". This can not only save some unnecessary expenses， but also relieve some unnecessary burden of children， making them grow up healthy and happily while improving life quality of the whole family. 美国企业研究所人口统计学家埃伯施塔特·尼古拉斯说：“显而易见的事实是，人们对家庭、孩子和前途的看法发生了巨变。中国正朝着其他低生育率的东亚国家的方向发展，例如日本和韩国等。”彭博社网站曾报道过许多婴幼儿产品在中国的售价比在美国高得多，部分原因是中国父母心甘情愿为他们唯一的后代花大钱。加利福尼亚大学欧文分校社会学教授汪峰（音）认为：“中国父母拥有共同的文化价值观，这种文化强调子女的成功。他们通过对孩子大笔投入来做到这一点。”在北京居住的赵女士就表示“什么都想给孩子最好的”，但带来的结果是最好的东西价格也很高，“压力一下就上去了”。这种希望给孩子最好资源的育儿心理在中国极为普遍，家长不愿意让孩子输在起跑线上，但是高额的费用也让很多家长深感压力。赵女士对于不算高的收入和相对高的育儿支出也表示无奈，很多时候只好缩紧自己的开支来满足孩子的需求。
对于大多数中国人来说，家庭一直都是生活的重心，孩子在家庭中更是处于核心地位。很多商家正是看中了这样的家庭“痛点”，才不费力气便炒火了亲子消费市场，用孩子做诱饵掏空父母的钱包。但是否“给孩子最好的一切”就一定能带来“最好的结果”？华中科技大学社会学系主任雷洪教授认为，一切都给孩子最好的，是满足成人的一种心理需求，但这些育儿成本里确有不合理成分，择校、培优，是家长望子成龙给孩子的额外“滋补”，花的不少都是冤枉钱。调查发现，对孩子的经济投入和他们的健康成长并不一定成正比。过分鼓励孩子高消费容易滋生他们的攀比心理和物质至上的心态，反而不利于孩子的心理健康发展，容易导致理想状态与客观现实的偏差。
相比于在物质上去娇惯孩子，情感教育和素质教育的投入似乎更能显成效。一些较为“成功”的父母表示，他们更注重和孩子沟通交流，把精力和金钱更多地放在培养孩子的观察、表达和生活自理能力上，去激发孩子自信心、求知欲和学习兴趣。面对许多诸如“进口玩具”、“各式培训班”、“出国夏令营”等非必需的项目，家长应当保持理性，不盲目效仿和攀比，选择符合自身经济条件的育儿支出方式，摒弃追名逐利的心理。中国人民大学人口与发展研究中心教授顾宝昌在一次采访中曾劝导当下的年轻父母要轻物质重感情。他表示，社会应该在生育方面承担更多的责任，但是父母如果总是抱着“物质第一”的心态养育后代，这样的欲壑将很难被填平。孩子的健康成长自然是每个家庭中所关注的大事，在基本的育儿成本不断增长的今天，要学会做聪明的家长，量力而为，主动摘掉“孩奴”的帽子。这样不仅可以节省不必要的开支，还能为孩子减去一些多余的负担，让孩子健康快乐成长的同时还能提升家庭整体的生活质量。