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远行的心 译
My mom only had one eye. I hated her. She was such an embarrassment.
She ran a small shop at a 1)flea market and collected old clothes and some other things to sell for the money we needed. Once during elementary school, it was 2)field day, and my mom came. I was so embarrassed and wondered how could she do this to me? I threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school, my schoolmates asked me, “your mom only has one eye?!” and 3)taunted me.
I was so angry with my mom and wished that she would just disappear from this world. So I said to my mom, “Why don’t you have the other eye?! If you’re only gonna make me a 4)laughingstock, why don’t you just die?!” My mom did not respond. I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time, I felt so good to have had said what I wanted to say. Maybe it was because my mom hadn’t punished me, I didn’t think that I had hurt her feelings very badly. That night, I woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might wake me. I took a look at her, and then turned away. For the words I had said to her earlier, there was something 5)pinching at me in the corner of my heart. Even so, I hated my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty. I told myself that I would become successful in the near future, so I studied very hard. Later I got accepted by the 6)Seoul University. I left my mother and came to Seoul to study. Then I got married there.
I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too. Now I am living happily as a successful man. I enjoy the life in Seoul because it’s a place that doesn’t remind me of my mom and my past. This kind of happiness was getting bigger and bigger, until one day someone knocked at my door. It was my mom! And still with her one eye! It felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me. My little girl ran away, scared of my mom’s eye.
I screamed at her, “Who are you? I don’t know you! How dare you come to my house and scare my daughter! Get out of here! Now!!!”
To this, my mom quietly answered, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address,” and she disappeared out of sight.
Thank goodness...she hadn’t recognized me!
A wave of relief came upon me.
One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. Lying to my wife that I was going on a business trip, I went back to participate in the reunion. After the reunion, I went down to the old 7)shack, which I used to call a house, just out of curiosity. There I found my mom fallen on the cold ground. I did not 8)shed a single tear.
Then a piece of paper in her hand came into my eyes.
It was a letter to me.
My son,
I think my life has been long enough now, and I won’t visit Seoul anymore. But would it be too much to ask if I wanted you to come to visit me once in a while? I miss you so much. And I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I decided not to go to the school...for you. I’m so sorry that I only have one eye, and I was an embarrassment for you.
You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident and lost your eye. As a mom, I couldn’t stand watching you having to grow up with only one eye. So I gave you mine. I was so proud of my son to see a whole new world for me with that eye. I was never upset at you for anything you did. During the couple of times that you were angry with me, I thought to myself, it’s because he loves me.
My son...oh, my son...
Don’t cry for me because of my death. I love you so much.
我的母亲只有一只眼睛，我讨厌她。她让我感到如此难堪。
她在一个跳蚤市场开了一间小店，搜集旧衣服和别的一些东西来卖，赚钱养家。我念小学时，有一次学校开运动会，母亲到学校来了。我很尴尬，心里念叨着，她怎么可以这样对我。我恶狠狠地瞪了她一眼，然后跑了出来。第二天上学，同学们都问我：“你妈妈只有一只眼睛呀？！”然后讥笑我。
我非常生母亲的气，我希望她可以从这个世界上消失。于是我对她说：“你为什么没了一只眼睛？！如果你活着只会让我成为笑柄，你为什么不去死？！”母亲什么都没说。我觉得有点过意不去，但又感到说出了心里话的极度畅快。也许是因为母亲没有因此而惩罚我，我并不觉得自己深深地伤害了她。那天，我半夜醒来，到厨房去拿一杯水，发现母亲在那里静静地哭泣，仿佛害怕她的哭声会吵醒我。我看了她一眼，然后扭头走了。因为先前跟她说的那些话，我感到内心的某个角落有些东西揪着，在发痛。尽管这样，我还是很讨厌我的独眼母亲以及家里让人绝望的贫穷。我告诉自己，不久的将来，我要成为一个成功的人，于是我很努力地学习。后来，我被汉城大学录取了，我离开了母亲，到汉城（编者注：现已改名为“世宗”，英文名为“Sejong”）去念书，然后在当地结了婚。
我买下了一所属于自己的房子。然后，我也有了孩子。现在，我以一个成功男人的身份，幸福地生活着。我享受在汉城的生活，因为这个地方不会使我想起母亲以及我的过去。这种幸福不断地膨胀，直到有一天，有人敲了敲我的门。是我的母亲！仍然只有一只眼睛！我感到天空仿佛崩裂了，碎片朝我倾泄下来。我的小女儿被我母亲的独眼吓得跑开了。
我对着母亲尖叫起来：“你是谁？我不认识你！你胆敢跑到我家来吓我的女儿！滚开！马上！”
母亲只是平静地回答道：“噢，对不起。我可能是记错地址了。”然后她就消失在我的视线里。
谢天谢地！她没有认出我来！
一阵解脱感涌上心头。
有一天，我在家里收到一封信，是关于学校聚会的事。我骗妻子说要去外地公干，回去参加了聚会。聚会结束以后，出于好奇，我沿路走到了我从前称为“房子”的旧屋。在里面，我发现母亲倒在 了冰冷的地板上。我没有流一滴泪。
然后，她手里的一封信闯进了我的眼帘。
那是一封写给我的信。
我的儿子：
我想我活到现在已经够长了，我不会再到汉城去了。但如果我要你偶尔来看看我，这样的要求会不会很过分？我很想你。听到你要回来参加聚会，我是那么的开心。但为了你，我决定不去学校找你。真对不起，我只有一只眼睛，并给你带来过那么多的难堪。
其实在你很小的时候，一场车祸夺去了你的一只眼睛。作为母亲，我不能眼看你带着一只眼睛长大。所以把我的一只眼睛给了你。你从此能代替我看到一整个全新的世界，对此我感到很自豪。我从来没有因为你对我所做的任何事而感到沮丧。好多次你生我的气时，我总是对自己说，那是因为他爱我。
儿子……我的儿子啊……
不要因为我的死而流泪。我是那么的爱你。
注：本文中所涉及到的图表、注解、公式等内容请以PDF格式阅读原文。
My mom only had one eye. I hated her. She was such an embarrassment.
She ran a small shop at a 1)flea market and collected old clothes and some other things to sell for the money we needed. Once during elementary school, it was 2)field day, and my mom came. I was so embarrassed and wondered how could she do this to me? I threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school, my schoolmates asked me, “your mom only has one eye?!” and 3)taunted me.
I was so angry with my mom and wished that she would just disappear from this world. So I said to my mom, “Why don’t you have the other eye?! If you’re only gonna make me a 4)laughingstock, why don’t you just die?!” My mom did not respond. I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time, I felt so good to have had said what I wanted to say. Maybe it was because my mom hadn’t punished me, I didn’t think that I had hurt her feelings very badly. That night, I woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might wake me. I took a look at her, and then turned away. For the words I had said to her earlier, there was something 5)pinching at me in the corner of my heart. Even so, I hated my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty. I told myself that I would become successful in the near future, so I studied very hard. Later I got accepted by the 6)Seoul University. I left my mother and came to Seoul to study. Then I got married there.
I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too. Now I am living happily as a successful man. I enjoy the life in Seoul because it’s a place that doesn’t remind me of my mom and my past. This kind of happiness was getting bigger and bigger, until one day someone knocked at my door. It was my mom! And still with her one eye! It felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me. My little girl ran away, scared of my mom’s eye.
I screamed at her, “Who are you? I don’t know you! How dare you come to my house and scare my daughter! Get out of here! Now!!!”
To this, my mom quietly answered, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address,” and she disappeared out of sight.
Thank goodness...she hadn’t recognized me!
A wave of relief came upon me.
One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. Lying to my wife that I was going on a business trip, I went back to participate in the reunion. After the reunion, I went down to the old 7)shack, which I used to call a house, just out of curiosity. There I found my mom fallen on the cold ground. I did not 8)shed a single tear.
Then a piece of paper in her hand came into my eyes.
It was a letter to me.
My son,
I think my life has been long enough now, and I won’t visit Seoul anymore. But would it be too much to ask if I wanted you to come to visit me once in a while? I miss you so much. And I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I decided not to go to the school...for you. I’m so sorry that I only have one eye, and I was an embarrassment for you.
You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident and lost your eye. As a mom, I couldn’t stand watching you having to grow up with only one eye. So I gave you mine. I was so proud of my son to see a whole new world for me with that eye. I was never upset at you for anything you did. During the couple of times that you were angry with me, I thought to myself, it’s because he loves me.
My son...oh, my son...
Don’t cry for me because of my death. I love you so much.
我的母亲只有一只眼睛，我讨厌她。她让我感到如此难堪。
她在一个跳蚤市场开了一间小店，搜集旧衣服和别的一些东西来卖，赚钱养家。我念小学时，有一次学校开运动会，母亲到学校来了。我很尴尬，心里念叨着，她怎么可以这样对我。我恶狠狠地瞪了她一眼，然后跑了出来。第二天上学，同学们都问我：“你妈妈只有一只眼睛呀？！”然后讥笑我。
我非常生母亲的气，我希望她可以从这个世界上消失。于是我对她说：“你为什么没了一只眼睛？！如果你活着只会让我成为笑柄，你为什么不去死？！”母亲什么都没说。我觉得有点过意不去，但又感到说出了心里话的极度畅快。也许是因为母亲没有因此而惩罚我，我并不觉得自己深深地伤害了她。那天，我半夜醒来，到厨房去拿一杯水，发现母亲在那里静静地哭泣，仿佛害怕她的哭声会吵醒我。我看了她一眼，然后扭头走了。因为先前跟她说的那些话，我感到内心的某个角落有些东西揪着，在发痛。尽管这样，我还是很讨厌我的独眼母亲以及家里让人绝望的贫穷。我告诉自己，不久的将来，我要成为一个成功的人，于是我很努力地学习。后来，我被汉城大学录取了，我离开了母亲，到汉城（编者注：现已改名为“世宗”，英文名为“Sejong”）去念书，然后在当地结了婚。
我买下了一所属于自己的房子。然后，我也有了孩子。现在，我以一个成功男人的身份，幸福地生活着。我享受在汉城的生活，因为这个地方不会使我想起母亲以及我的过去。这种幸福不断地膨胀，直到有一天，有人敲了敲我的门。是我的母亲！仍然只有一只眼睛！我感到天空仿佛崩裂了，碎片朝我倾泄下来。我的小女儿被我母亲的独眼吓得跑开了。
我对着母亲尖叫起来：“你是谁？我不认识你！你胆敢跑到我家来吓我的女儿！滚开！马上！”
母亲只是平静地回答道：“噢，对不起。我可能是记错地址了。”然后她就消失在我的视线里。
谢天谢地！她没有认出我来！
一阵解脱感涌上心头。
有一天，我在家里收到一封信，是关于学校聚会的事。我骗妻子说要去外地公干，回去参加了聚会。聚会结束以后，出于好奇，我沿路走到了我从前称为“房子”的旧屋。在里面，我发现母亲倒在 了冰冷的地板上。我没有流一滴泪。
然后，她手里的一封信闯进了我的眼帘。
那是一封写给我的信。
我的儿子：
我想我活到现在已经够长了，我不会再到汉城去了。但如果我要你偶尔来看看我，这样的要求会不会很过分？我很想你。听到你要回来参加聚会，我是那么的开心。但为了你，我决定不去学校找你。真对不起，我只有一只眼睛，并给你带来过那么多的难堪。
其实在你很小的时候，一场车祸夺去了你的一只眼睛。作为母亲，我不能眼看你带着一只眼睛长大。所以把我的一只眼睛给了你。你从此能代替我看到一整个全新的世界，对此我感到很自豪。我从来没有因为你对我所做的任何事而感到沮丧。好多次你生我的气时，我总是对自己说，那是因为他爱我。
儿子……我的儿子啊……
不要因为我的死而流泪。我是那么的爱你。
注：本文中所涉及到的图表、注解、公式等内容请以PDF格式阅读原文。