向左走向右走

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  译/甄春亮
  他们在繁华背后转身,终于看见寂寞之中的温暖。他们今生只能擦肩而过,等待下一个五百年的轮回。
  他抽Camel 牌的香烟,姿势淡定而又模糊。有微蹙的眉头和一身利落的黑。常常隐在地铁站昏暗的角落中,不看人亦不看风景。烟雾包围住他那张棱角分明的脸,像是隔了一世的恩怨情仇。
  她每天买一纸杯纯牛奶,一口气喝完,像是一头缺水的小兽。银耳环在酒红的头发间忽隐忽现,如同她年轻而躁动的灵魂。一只泰迪熊被挂在书包后面,跟随她走过了无数的城市。漂泊,继续漂泊。
  他习惯了如此的生活,周而复始,等待地铁以及生命中的惊喜。偶尔去跳一夜的舞,喝少许的酒。然后在清晨回家,冲凉,望一望没有太阳的天空,沉默着。他是不爱说话的,喜欢用忧伤的眼神匆匆一瞥,换的一世的安稳;他是孤单的,他在这座城市中用黑色保护自己的脆弱。
  所以经常的,他感到自己的空虚以及无能为力。
  她憎恶多雨的天气,就像是憎恶眼泪一样。等待让生命变得沉重。她经历了太多的往事,只能这样一直不断地走下去,才能追寻到梦中的家园。她是这座城市的过客,并且终生也不会爱上它,她的骨子里面流淌着自由的血液,这是谁也无法改变的事实。
  包括爱情。习惯了跟任何的陌生人说话,却从不把心交出来,她认为那不值得。
  他七岁的时候父母离异。失去了爱情的母亲差点把他和自己都逼疯了。那一年的春天像冬天一样肃杀,有一种不动声色的绝望。然而孩子的灵魂永远坚忍不拔,他学习成绩优秀,懂得忍让和隐藏,把所有的哀伤全部压在了心里的某一个不为人知的地方。
  她也是七岁的时候父母离异,然后母亲企图自杀。从此,她明白了爱情不能信任,那只是一个童话而已。小姨把她抚养长大,寄人篱下的感觉让她一直有一个飞翔的梦,天蓝水碧,像鸟一样舞蹈。
  其他的没有什么大的志向。她认为日子只有在走走停停的简单中,心灵才能获得真正意义上的救赎。
  一座城市,相遇的人们。
  他有隐晦的嘴角,她有直白的眼神,他需要生命中的激越,她需要一个可以依靠的肩膀。可是,他们每天在地铁站里错身,知道彼此的存在,在某一个阳光明媚的早晨眯起眼睛回念彼此的细节。除此之外,谁也没想过更进一步的举动,那样,会破坏一种美丽。
  相见不如怀念。是很经典的。
  他其实贪婪她的像风一样的脸,却无法陪她去探寻生命的真谛,沿途风景有多美,他放不下这座城市的安稳。童年的动荡让他害怕。
  她喜欢偷看他孤单的背影,有太多的故事和未开启的宝藏。然而她的脚停不下来,她不会忍受做一个平常的家庭妇女,那样,她的生命将不再光彩。她的童年告诉她一定要飞起来。飞向很远的远方。
  于是,她终于又踏上了路途,向一个有长年阳光的城市奔去。
  从此,他再也没见到她。
  他的生活没有太多改变。却开始在睡醒之后喝一杯牛奶,一口气喝完,想起地铁站里的女子,红色长发,就一个人笑起来,很温暖。
  她爬上了一座很高的山,伸手能摸到湿漉漉的云朵。她在火车上学会了抽烟,终于明白了地铁里那个男人手持香烟时的寂寞。她一个人在山顶放声大哭。
  可是,他们已经选择了相见不如怀念。无法改变。
  
  Turning Left,Turning Right
  
  Behind the flourishing scene they turn round to find the warmth in loneliness at last. Nevertheless they are destined to brush past each other in this life and wait for a period of five hundred years until they meet again in the next world.
  Smoking a Camel, he has a vaguely indifferent carriage. Neatly dressed in black, slightly knitting his brows, he often stands in a dim corner of the subway station, oblivious to passengers or views there. Cigarette smoke clouds over his angular face as if veiling the feeling of gratitude and resentment he had in the previous life.
  Each day she buys a paper cup of pure milk, drinks it at a mouthful like a thirsty little animal. Her silver earrings, now visible and now hidden in the red brown hair, are as restless as her young soul. She has gone to a great number of cities with a Teddy Bear tied to the schoolbag she carries everywhere. She wanders and wanders.
  He is accustomed to such a life. Day after day he waits fro the train and expects a nice surprise in life. Once in a while he goes dancing and dances for the whole night, drinks a little wine, returns home at dawn, takes a shower, looks at the sky before sunrise and remains silent. Not talkative, he likes to cast a quick glance to appease his sorrow and live astable life. Feeling lonely in the city, he hides his frailties in the dark.
  Consequently he often feels that his life is helplessly devoid of meaning.
  She dislikes rainy days as much as she hates tears. Waiting in life embitters her. She has had too much experience. She can do nothing buy keeps knocking about so as to look for the home she has dreamt of. She is a visitor in the city, a place she will never love in her life. Blood of freedom circulates in her body, which is the fact that nobody is able to change.
  She is accustomed to talking with strangers, in whom she has never reposed full confidence and to whom she has never talked about love. She thinks it is not worthwhile.
  His parents divorced when he was seven years old. Bereft of love, his mother almost drove him and herself mad. His family was filled with lurking despair that spring, when it was as chilly as in winter. Nevertheless, he was a firm, unyielding and excellent pupil. He learned to show forbearance in dealing with people and bury his grief in an unknown place of his heart.
  Her parents divorced when she was seven. Later her mother tried to commit suicide. Even at that moment, she learned that love was nothing but an unbelievable fairy tale. She went to live with her aunt and was brought up there. The experience of her being a dependant ever since she was a little childmakes her have a dream of flying like a bird in the blue sky and over the clear water.
  She has no lofty aspirations other than vagrancy. She thinks the simplicity of vagrant life is the only way that will truly save his soul.
  He and she meet in the city.
  An obscure expression settles on the corners of his mouth but he has a desire for vehement life. There is a frank look in her eyes but she needs a man's shoulder to rely against.
  Every day they brush past each other in the subway to know their existence in the world. The only thing they actually do is that with eyes narrowed in a sunny morning, each calls to mind the details of the other. They never think of becoming closer friends in fear of breaking up a beauty.
  They believe the proverb: It'd be better to miss a person than to meet him.
  In fact he likes to see her breeze-like face. However he can't travel with her to probe into the essence of life. If he did, he could see so many beautiful views on their journey. But he is scared by his childhood experience. He is not willing to give up the stable life in the city.
  She likes to steel a glance at him from behind, thinking he is a man full of stories and there are many treasures uncovered in him. But she can't stop traveling about. She can't give up her colorful way of life to become an ordinary housewife. Her childhood experience urges her to fly over to the distant place.
  Consequently she sets off on a journey to a city lighted by the sun all the year round.
  Since then he has never seen her again.
  There is not much change in his life except that he drinks a cup of milk at a mouthful after he wakes up. He smiles and feels warm when thinking of the woman with red and long hair he has met in the subway.
  She climbs up a high mountain, where she is able to touch the damp clouds when she stretches her hand. She learned to smoke on the train and at last perceives the loneliness the man has when he smokes in the subway station. She bursts into tears on the top of the mountain.
  But they have made the irrevocable choice of missing rather than meeting each other.
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