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The Challenges of Being a Domestic Dad
For several years now, I’ve been a stay-at-home dad, feeding the kids, getting them dressed and2)refereeing all the fights, while my wife goes to the university to work. You may call me “Mr. Mom” or “Mr. 3)Homemaker,” but I prefer a more respectable term: “4)houseband.”
Being a stay-at-home dad isn’t easy. Some household tasks, such as washing and drying women’s clothes, just seem to5)confound the male brain. You don’t know how many times I’ve put the fabric 6)softener sheets in the washing machine. They really come out fresh and clean.
Yes, domestic dads face many challenges. And as if that isn’t enough, we also have to deal with society’s expectations. Since my wife goes out to work, she 7)wears the pants in the family and I’m left8)wearing out the couch. Or at least that’s what some people think. “You don’t want to work?” they ask, almost with 9)disdain. “No,” I feel like saying. “I prefer the nice relaxing life of taking care of three children. It’s like a vacation really, especially since only two of them are in 10)diapers and the third one has been fully trained to change them.”
Stay-at-home dads need more support and guidance. That’s why, as a 11)veteran of the stay-at-home career, I decided to answer a few questions from newcomers to the profession.
Ahmed, London, England: “Because I stay at home, I do all the 12)laundry in our household. But my wife always complains that I don’t fold the towels properly. Aren’t there many different ways to fold towels?”
Stay-at-home veteran: “Yes, there are 325 di-fferent ways to fold towels and each of those ways, if you ask your wife, is the WRONG way. As an experienced towel-folder, let me give you some key advice: It doesn’t really matter whether you fold your towels into squares, 13)rectangles, 14)hexagons or 15)octagons. Since you do the laundry, the important thing is to fold the towels in such a manner that all 16)stains and 17)disco-lorations are hidden from your wife.”
Barry, Toronto, Canada: “I became a stay-at-home dad this year and am finding it very challenging. There’s so much work to do around the house and, with five children to take care of, it’s almost impossible. Got any tips to make it easier?”
Stay-at-home veteran: “Well, for starters, you can train the kids to do a little bit of work around the house. I’ve trained my oldest daughter, for example, to 18)switch channels all by herself. My other daughter has learned to pour juice, slowly and carefully, all over her shirt.”
Ronald, Chicago, USA: “My wife and I were at an insurance office the other day, arranging 19)coverage for our new car. The agent asked me how much driving I do. Before I could answer, my wife said, ÔHe hardly ever drives. I’m the one who works.’ I felt really bad. I mean, I do a lot of work at home, taking care of the kids, doing the laundry, keeping track of what’s happening on Oprah. How do I get my wife to rea-lize that I work as hard as she does?”
Stay-at-home veteran: “Congratulations! You are the1,000th stay-at-home dad to ask me that question. I’m going to send you a wonderful prize: a loaf of bread. So the next time your wife tells someone she’s the one who works, you can say, Oh yeah? Then tell me, honey, who is the20)breadwinner?’”
Rajiv, 21)Mumbai, India: “I’m a new stay-at-home dad and I’m really enjoying it. I don’t know why some men struggle so much. Sure, there’s a lot of cooking and cleaning to do, but if you’re organized and diligent, you can make sure everything gets done before the servants have to go home.”
Stay-at-home veteran: “Thank you for your comment, Rajiv. I’d really like to see for myself how well your system works. Do you think I could borrow your servants for a few weeks?”
我已经做了好几年的“家庭主父”了，
每天在家喂孩子吃饭，帮他们穿衣服，还要调和他们的争吵，而我的妻子则在大学里工作。你可以称呼我“妈妈先生”或者“当家先生”，不过我更愿意你用一个比较体面的词来称呼我：“家庭主夫”。
当一个“家庭主父”并不容易。许多家务，例如清洗、晾晒女装，似乎就能把男人的脑子弄迷糊。你简直没办法想象我有多少次把织物柔顺剂片放进了洗衣机。当洗完拿出来的时候，柔顺剂片确实变得又清新又干净了。（编者注：柔顺剂片应该放到干衣机里，“家庭主父”在这里犯了错。）
是的，“家庭主父”们面临着许多挑战。然而，似乎这些挑战还不够，我们还要面临社会的压力。由于我的妻子在外面工作，大家都认为在我家一定是我妻子说了算，而我则无所事事，至少有些人是这么认为的。“难道你不想出来工作吗？”他们几乎带着鄙视的口气问道。“不想，”我想说。“我喜欢这种照顾3个孩子的悠闲生活。这种生活很像在度假，特别是因为他们中的两个还包着尿布，而另一个经训练已经完全学会了换尿布。”
“家庭主父”们需要更多的支持和指导。这就是为什么我—一名经验丰富的“家庭主父”，决定为新手们解答一些问题的原因。
来自英国伦敦的艾哈迈德：因为我待在家里，所以我要清洗家里所有的衣物。但是我妻子经常抱怨我没把毛巾叠对。难道叠毛巾还有很多种不同的方法吗？
资深“家庭主父”：是的，叠毛巾一共有325种不同的方法。不过，如果你问你妻子的话，任何一种她都会说是不对的。作为一个叠毛巾的老手，让我给你一些重要的建议—你把毛巾折叠成正方形、长方形、六边形还是八边形，实际上并不重要。既然你是那个洗衣服的人，那么，重要的一点就是，在叠毛巾的时候一定要把所有的污渍和斑点都藏起来，不要让你妻子看到。
来自加拿大多伦多的巴里：今年我变成了一名“家庭主父”，我发现这份工作很有挑战性。原来在家里竟然有这么多的事情要做，加上还要照顾5个孩子，这简直是不可能的。有没有什么诀窍可以让这份工作变得轻松一点？
资深“家庭主父”：嗯，对于新手来说，你可以训练你的孩子在家帮你做少许家务。比如说，我曾经训练我的大女儿在看电视的时候自己换频道。我的另一个女儿也学会了慢慢地、小心翼翼地倒果汁，不过全倒在了她的衣服上。
来自美国芝加哥的罗纳德：几天前，我和我妻子去一家保险公司，办理我们的新车保险事宜。保险代理询问我平日用车的频率。我还没来得及回答，我妻子就说：“他几乎不开车。我才是每天要出去上班的人。”我感觉真是糟透了。我的意思是，我在家里也做了很多事情—照顾孩子、洗衣服，还要时刻关注奥普拉的节目里又发生了什么新鲜事。我怎么才能让我妻子意识到，其实我和她一样也在辛苦工作呢？
资深“家庭主父”：恭喜你！你是第1000个问我这个问题的“家庭主父”。我要送你一份大奖—一大块面包。这样，下次你的妻子再跟别人说，她才是在外工作的人时，你就可以说：“噢，是吗？那么亲爱的，请告诉我，到底是谁赢得了面包呢（意即：是谁在养家糊口呢）？”
来自印度孟买的拉吉夫：我是一名新的“家庭主父”，我真的很喜欢这份工作。我不明白为什么有些男人做起来会那么艰难。当然，做“家庭主父”意味着要经常做饭和打扫卫生，但是如果你能安排好时间，做事又勤快，那么你就可以确保在佣人们回家之前完成所有的工作了。
资深“家庭主父”：谢谢你的意见，拉吉夫。我真的很想亲自看看你是怎么有效地安排你的工作的。我可不可以借你家的佣人用几个星期呢？
The Challenges of Being a Domestic Dad
For several years now, I’ve been a stay-at-home dad, feeding the kids, getting them dressed and2)refereeing all the fights, while my wife goes to the university to work. You may call me “Mr. Mom” or “Mr. 3)Homemaker,” but I prefer a more respectable term: “4)houseband.”
Being a stay-at-home dad isn’t easy. Some household tasks, such as washing and drying women’s clothes, just seem to5)confound the male brain. You don’t know how many times I’ve put the fabric 6)softener sheets in the washing machine. They really come out fresh and clean.
Yes, domestic dads face many challenges. And as if that isn’t enough, we also have to deal with society’s expectations. Since my wife goes out to work, she 7)wears the pants in the family and I’m left8)wearing out the couch. Or at least that’s what some people think. “You don’t want to work?” they ask, almost with 9)disdain. “No,” I feel like saying. “I prefer the nice relaxing life of taking care of three children. It’s like a vacation really, especially since only two of them are in 10)diapers and the third one has been fully trained to change them.”
Stay-at-home dads need more support and guidance. That’s why, as a 11)veteran of the stay-at-home career, I decided to answer a few questions from newcomers to the profession.
Ahmed, London, England: “Because I stay at home, I do all the 12)laundry in our household. But my wife always complains that I don’t fold the towels properly. Aren’t there many different ways to fold towels?”
Stay-at-home veteran: “Yes, there are 325 di-fferent ways to fold towels and each of those ways, if you ask your wife, is the WRONG way. As an experienced towel-folder, let me give you some key advice: It doesn’t really matter whether you fold your towels into squares, 13)rectangles, 14)hexagons or 15)octagons. Since you do the laundry, the important thing is to fold the towels in such a manner that all 16)stains and 17)disco-lorations are hidden from your wife.”
Barry, Toronto, Canada: “I became a stay-at-home dad this year and am finding it very challenging. There’s so much work to do around the house and, with five children to take care of, it’s almost impossible. Got any tips to make it easier?”
Stay-at-home veteran: “Well, for starters, you can train the kids to do a little bit of work around the house. I’ve trained my oldest daughter, for example, to 18)switch channels all by herself. My other daughter has learned to pour juice, slowly and carefully, all over her shirt.”
Ronald, Chicago, USA: “My wife and I were at an insurance office the other day, arranging 19)coverage for our new car. The agent asked me how much driving I do. Before I could answer, my wife said, ÔHe hardly ever drives. I’m the one who works.’ I felt really bad. I mean, I do a lot of work at home, taking care of the kids, doing the laundry, keeping track of what’s happening on Oprah. How do I get my wife to rea-lize that I work as hard as she does?”
Stay-at-home veteran: “Congratulations! You are the1,000th stay-at-home dad to ask me that question. I’m going to send you a wonderful prize: a loaf of bread. So the next time your wife tells someone she’s the one who works, you can say, Oh yeah? Then tell me, honey, who is the20)breadwinner?’”
Rajiv, 21)Mumbai, India: “I’m a new stay-at-home dad and I’m really enjoying it. I don’t know why some men struggle so much. Sure, there’s a lot of cooking and cleaning to do, but if you’re organized and diligent, you can make sure everything gets done before the servants have to go home.”
Stay-at-home veteran: “Thank you for your comment, Rajiv. I’d really like to see for myself how well your system works. Do you think I could borrow your servants for a few weeks?”
我已经做了好几年的“家庭主父”了，
每天在家喂孩子吃饭，帮他们穿衣服，还要调和他们的争吵，而我的妻子则在大学里工作。你可以称呼我“妈妈先生”或者“当家先生”，不过我更愿意你用一个比较体面的词来称呼我：“家庭主夫”。
当一个“家庭主父”并不容易。许多家务，例如清洗、晾晒女装，似乎就能把男人的脑子弄迷糊。你简直没办法想象我有多少次把织物柔顺剂片放进了洗衣机。当洗完拿出来的时候，柔顺剂片确实变得又清新又干净了。（编者注：柔顺剂片应该放到干衣机里，“家庭主父”在这里犯了错。）
是的，“家庭主父”们面临着许多挑战。然而，似乎这些挑战还不够，我们还要面临社会的压力。由于我的妻子在外面工作，大家都认为在我家一定是我妻子说了算，而我则无所事事，至少有些人是这么认为的。“难道你不想出来工作吗？”他们几乎带着鄙视的口气问道。“不想，”我想说。“我喜欢这种照顾3个孩子的悠闲生活。这种生活很像在度假，特别是因为他们中的两个还包着尿布，而另一个经训练已经完全学会了换尿布。”
“家庭主父”们需要更多的支持和指导。这就是为什么我—一名经验丰富的“家庭主父”，决定为新手们解答一些问题的原因。
来自英国伦敦的艾哈迈德：因为我待在家里，所以我要清洗家里所有的衣物。但是我妻子经常抱怨我没把毛巾叠对。难道叠毛巾还有很多种不同的方法吗？
资深“家庭主父”：是的，叠毛巾一共有325种不同的方法。不过，如果你问你妻子的话，任何一种她都会说是不对的。作为一个叠毛巾的老手，让我给你一些重要的建议—你把毛巾折叠成正方形、长方形、六边形还是八边形，实际上并不重要。既然你是那个洗衣服的人，那么，重要的一点就是，在叠毛巾的时候一定要把所有的污渍和斑点都藏起来，不要让你妻子看到。
来自加拿大多伦多的巴里：今年我变成了一名“家庭主父”，我发现这份工作很有挑战性。原来在家里竟然有这么多的事情要做，加上还要照顾5个孩子，这简直是不可能的。有没有什么诀窍可以让这份工作变得轻松一点？
资深“家庭主父”：嗯，对于新手来说，你可以训练你的孩子在家帮你做少许家务。比如说，我曾经训练我的大女儿在看电视的时候自己换频道。我的另一个女儿也学会了慢慢地、小心翼翼地倒果汁，不过全倒在了她的衣服上。
来自美国芝加哥的罗纳德：几天前，我和我妻子去一家保险公司，办理我们的新车保险事宜。保险代理询问我平日用车的频率。我还没来得及回答，我妻子就说：“他几乎不开车。我才是每天要出去上班的人。”我感觉真是糟透了。我的意思是，我在家里也做了很多事情—照顾孩子、洗衣服，还要时刻关注奥普拉的节目里又发生了什么新鲜事。我怎么才能让我妻子意识到，其实我和她一样也在辛苦工作呢？
资深“家庭主父”：恭喜你！你是第1000个问我这个问题的“家庭主父”。我要送你一份大奖—一大块面包。这样，下次你的妻子再跟别人说，她才是在外工作的人时，你就可以说：“噢，是吗？那么亲爱的，请告诉我，到底是谁赢得了面包呢（意即：是谁在养家糊口呢）？”
来自印度孟买的拉吉夫：我是一名新的“家庭主父”，我真的很喜欢这份工作。我不明白为什么有些男人做起来会那么艰难。当然，做“家庭主父”意味着要经常做饭和打扫卫生，但是如果你能安排好时间，做事又勤快，那么你就可以确保在佣人们回家之前完成所有的工作了。
资深“家庭主父”：谢谢你的意见，拉吉夫。我真的很想亲自看看你是怎么有效地安排你的工作的。我可不可以借你家的佣人用几个星期呢？