献给莉里娅一令人惊慌不安的、熟悉的亮光穿透黑暗,形成一个不稳定的、抖动的亮点,随即就消失了,但转瞬之间它又会重新出现;即使在睡梦之中她也在向往着这种亮光:这是一种预告,一种幸福的预感,它预示着她过去生活中极其罕见的一瞬即将到来;在她的机体最深邃的某个地方已经积聚着地下潜流似的神秘的音乐,这音乐照例是由同一个令人难受的爆破音符开始的。她有这样一种感觉:仿佛在她艰难的、已是相当漫长的一生中那从未表露过的内心痛苦正在显现出来,成为尽人皆知的事情;大家对此都感到惊讶,并且怜悯她。然而,连这种感觉也不是主要的,它同样转瞬即逝,消失得无影无踪。剩下来的只是另一种痛苦,解脱的痛苦——它隐隐约约,却又缠绵不去,仿佛在夜晚的大地上空悄无声息地、平稳地滑行,下面 Dedicated to Lilia A panicked, familiar light penetrates the darkness to form an unstable, jerky highlight that immediately disappears, but in a flash it reappears; even in her sleep It is also a yearning for this kind of light: it is a kind of foreshadowing, a feeling of bliss, which heralds the very rare moment in her past life that is about to arrive; somewhere in her deepest part, The mysterious music, as usual, is made of the same uncomfortable blasting notes. She had the feeling that it was as if all the well-known things were manifesting in her difficult, rather long, life-long pain that she had never revealed before; everyone was surprised and pityful to her. However, even this feeling is not the main, it is also fleeting, disappeared without a trace. The rest is only another pain, relief of pain - it is vague, but lingering, as if silently in the night over the ground, gliding smoothly, the following