我醒了,妈妈正趴在我床边睡觉,我看着她布满血丝的眼睛,忍不住掉下泪来……点评:妈妈睡觉不闭眼睛吗?写作不能凭空想象。冬天到了,桃花开了。点评:桃花是在冬天开放吗?写作不能不切实际。鱼终于上钓了。点评:“钩”和“钓”差别可是大呀!我家的小猫钻进了柴火垛,一天了也没出来,第二天我好奇地一看,柴火垛里那么大一堆蛋!点评:逻辑混乱,给人感觉是小猫下了蛋。 I woke up, my mother is lying on my bed to sleep, I looked at her bloodshot eyes, could not help but shed tears ... ... Comments: Mom sleep not closed eyes? Writing can not imagine. The winter is over, the peach blossom. Comments: Peach is open in winter? Writing can not be unrealistic. The fish finally caught. Comments: “hook ” and “fishing ” but the difference is big! My family kitten got into the wood fire stack, one day did not come out, the next day I looked curiously, firewood stack so much Egg! Comments: Logical confusion, gives the impression that the kitten lay eggs.