编者推荐:此文很容易升格为满分作文。删除第七、八自然段,专论“身处逆境而有大气”,文章就更有个性。与此同时,将前三个自然段中的三个类比对象也选择“身处逆境者”,前后就更加圆合了。如果篇幅不足800字,可补充现代“身处逆境而有大气者”的事例,就更加全面地论述了立论。将皇太极作为大气的正面事例,还须商量——在高考作文中,立论和用例不应存在争议。倒数第二自然段中的最后一句话,应移到倒数第三自然段后面。 Editor’s Recommendation: This article is easily upgraded to a perfect composition. Delete the seventh and eighth paragraphs, and specialize in “having atmosphere in adversity”. At the same time, the three analogies in the first three paragraphs were also chosen to be “confronted with adversity,” and they were more consistent before and after. If the length is less than 800 words, it can supplement the modern example of “adversity and atmosphere” to discuss the argument more comprehensively. Taking Huang Tai Chi as a positive example of the atmosphere must also be discussed - in the college entrance examination essay, arguments and use cases should not be controversial. The last sentence in the penultimate paragraph should be moved behind the penultimate natural segment.