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奖励与惩罚,是我们规范孩子行为最常用的两种方式。有时候,这两种方式都可能获得立竿见影的效果,以致我们很容易对其产生依赖。然而,随着孩子一天天长大,我们会发现,奖与罚都收效甚微,甚至根本不再管用。那么,问题出在哪里?究竟什么样的方式能更好地约束孩子,或者激励孩子走得更远呢?奖励能激励孩子走多远?在育儿的过程中,以下情形经常发生:每当我们给孩子一个承诺——如果他做了某件事,就会得到某个奖励物。这个奖励物若是孩子期待的,他会立刻行动。奖励的这种及时效应很容易迷惑我们,让我们觉得这是一个激励孩子的好办法。然而,要不了多久,我们还没尝够奖励带来的甜头,就会发现问题随之而来:1)某个奖励物不再是孩子期待的,于是,我们需要不断转换别
Reward and punishment are two of the most common ways we regulate children’s behavior. Sometimes it is possible to get instant results in both ways so that we can easily rely on it. However, as children grow older, we find that awards and penalties have had little or no effect at all. So, where is the problem? What kind of ways to better constrain the child, or to motivate children to go further? Reward can encourage children to go far? In the process of parenting, the following happens often: Whenever we Give your child a promise - if he did something, he would get a bonus. If the child is looking forward to this award, he will act immediately. This timely effect of rewards can easily confuse us, let us think this is a good way to motivate children. However, not long after we have tasted the sweetness of the rewards, we find the following problems: 1) a reward is no longer what our children expect, so we need to continually change