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Some days ago， Carol went to a farm. The thing on the farm were exciting. She saw many animals， like chickens， ducks， oxes and cows. What was she interested in？ She was interested in ride a horse. So she went to ride a horse first. Then she took a walk around the farm. At that time， she saw many flowers. Some butterflies and dragonflies stayed there. The flowers， butterflies and dragonflies were so beautiful. But the best were the flowers. They were so colorful. They were yellow， red， purple， pink， orange and white. At night， she watched the stars on the steps with a farmer. The farmer told her about farming. In the end， the farmer said， “I lived here many years. Why？ Because I want that farm to be good.”
I think Carol enjoyed oneself. So let’s go there right now.
黄召平老师点评：
此篇习作是小作者在七年级一期刚学完一般过去时所写。本文一般过去时态运用正确，条理清晰，文中first，then，at night， in the end等表时间顺序的词语运用恰当。小作者能综合运用所学句型与词组，如be interested in， take a walk， want to do sth等，还能使用一些自学的新词如ox，butterfly and dragonfly等。本文最大的优点是跳出了平铺直述的圈子，文章中好几处句子让读者耳目一新，如“What was she interested in”“But the best were the flowers”等。尤其农夫的一句“Because I want that farm to be good”，让这个朴实的农民形象跃然纸上。
当然由于知识水平有限，难免有几处错误，如公牛ox的复数形式不是oxes，“ The thing on the farm were exciting ”一句的主语和动词不一致，“She was interested in ride a horse”一句中介词in后应接动词的-ing形式。另“I lived here many years”一句有时态问题，罗列花的颜色之句也有生硬之嫌。整体结构不是很严谨。特作修改如下，使此文更加准确、生动。
参考范文
A few days ago， Carol went to a farm.
The things on the farm were exciting. She saw many animals there， like chickens， ducks， oxen and cows. She saw many colorful flowers. They were in all colors—yellow， red， purple... She saw some butterflies and dragonflies flying around them happily. They were so beautiful.
What was she most interested in？ She was most interested in riding a horse， so she went to ride a horse. At night， she watched the stars and talked with a farmer on the steps. The farmer told her about farming. In the end， the farmer said， “I’ve lived here for many years. Why？ Because I want this farm to be better.”
I think Carol enjoyed herself on the farm trip.
骆 晨
My good friend is Yang. Do you know why？ Because she truly cares about me， that’s important to me. Also， she is a good listener. When I have trouble， I always tell her. Then she reaches for my hand and touches my heart. We are similar in these ways： we both have long straight hair. We both like to listen to music. We both like to laugh. I work as hard as her. But we are different， too. For example， she is taller than me， and she is quieter than me. She likes reading but I like sports. I am more outgoing. I think it’s not necessary to be the same as long as they are good. I think my friend is good ，isn’t she？ 潘慧兰老师点评：
本文是作者学完八年级上期第三单元“I’m more outgoing than my sister”的习作，写出了她与好朋友Yang 的异同、喜爱Yang的理由及她对友情的看法。文章描写准确，感情真挚。作者能准确熟练运用比较等级，对“both， as...as”等词和词组的用法掌握较好，并能自如运用课文中的佳句，如“she reaches for my hand and touches my heart”，“it’s not necessary to be the same as long as they are good”等。但总体来说句子稍显零碎，关联词用得较少；比较两者异同时句式较单一，逻辑顺序还有待改善。另外，还有几个小错误，同学们可以讨论指出。如能再仔细斟酌词句，调整文段之间的逻辑顺序，应当会增色不少。
参考范文
Yang is my good friend. We are similar in many ways. We are not only in the same class， but also in the same row. We are both tall and we both have long straight hair. Both of us like listening to music and laughing. I work as hard as her and she sings as well as me. Though we are the same in many ways， we have some differences， too. For example， she is taller and quieter than me. I’m less serious than her. She is not as outgoing as me. I like sports but she likes reading.
Do you know why Yang is my good friend？ Because she truly cares about me—that’s important to me. Also， she is a good listener. When I have trouble， I always tell her. Then she reaches for my hand and touches my heart.
It’s not necessary for friends to be the same as long as they are getting on well. I think my friend is good， don’t you？
向乐静
I have read many books， they are all very meaningful and interesting. My favorite book is “Stories in Sahara”. It’s a book about living in foreign countries. It’s written by Echo. She is a famous writer in Tai Pei. I can learn a lot of living skills from it and I feel relaxed when I read it. It shows me a colorful world that I didn’t know before. I want to have such a great trip when I grow up. So I study harder and harder to make my dream come true.
How about you？ What’s your favorite book？
刘丽珍老师点评：
本文是以“My favorite book”为题的一篇作文。该生阅读广泛，所以写起来有话可说。他先表述看书的好处，然后描述最喜欢的书的名称、作者及该书的大概内容，最后说出自己的梦想以及实现梦想的决心。文章恰当地运用了三种不同的时态 ，还采用了时间状语从句和定语从句等复合句，并用了非谓语动词中的不定式作宾语和目的状语。老师只要稍加修改就是一篇好的范文。
参考范文
I have read many books， which are all very meaningful and interesting. My favorite book is “Stories in Sahara”. It’s a book about living in Sahara. It was written by Echo. She was a famous writer who was born in Tai Pei. I can learn a lot of living skills from this book and I feel relaxed every time I read it. It shows me a colorful world that I didn’t know before. I want to have such a great trip when I grow up. So I will study harder and harder to make my dream come true.
How about you？ What’s your favorite book？
I think Carol enjoyed oneself. So let’s go there right now.
黄召平老师点评：
此篇习作是小作者在七年级一期刚学完一般过去时所写。本文一般过去时态运用正确，条理清晰，文中first，then，at night， in the end等表时间顺序的词语运用恰当。小作者能综合运用所学句型与词组，如be interested in， take a walk， want to do sth等，还能使用一些自学的新词如ox，butterfly and dragonfly等。本文最大的优点是跳出了平铺直述的圈子，文章中好几处句子让读者耳目一新，如“What was she interested in”“But the best were the flowers”等。尤其农夫的一句“Because I want that farm to be good”，让这个朴实的农民形象跃然纸上。
当然由于知识水平有限，难免有几处错误，如公牛ox的复数形式不是oxes，“ The thing on the farm were exciting ”一句的主语和动词不一致，“She was interested in ride a horse”一句中介词in后应接动词的-ing形式。另“I lived here many years”一句有时态问题，罗列花的颜色之句也有生硬之嫌。整体结构不是很严谨。特作修改如下，使此文更加准确、生动。
参考范文
A few days ago， Carol went to a farm.
The things on the farm were exciting. She saw many animals there， like chickens， ducks， oxen and cows. She saw many colorful flowers. They were in all colors—yellow， red， purple... She saw some butterflies and dragonflies flying around them happily. They were so beautiful.
What was she most interested in？ She was most interested in riding a horse， so she went to ride a horse. At night， she watched the stars and talked with a farmer on the steps. The farmer told her about farming. In the end， the farmer said， “I’ve lived here for many years. Why？ Because I want this farm to be better.”
I think Carol enjoyed herself on the farm trip.
骆 晨
My good friend is Yang. Do you know why？ Because she truly cares about me， that’s important to me. Also， she is a good listener. When I have trouble， I always tell her. Then she reaches for my hand and touches my heart. We are similar in these ways： we both have long straight hair. We both like to listen to music. We both like to laugh. I work as hard as her. But we are different， too. For example， she is taller than me， and she is quieter than me. She likes reading but I like sports. I am more outgoing. I think it’s not necessary to be the same as long as they are good. I think my friend is good ，isn’t she？ 潘慧兰老师点评：
本文是作者学完八年级上期第三单元“I’m more outgoing than my sister”的习作，写出了她与好朋友Yang 的异同、喜爱Yang的理由及她对友情的看法。文章描写准确，感情真挚。作者能准确熟练运用比较等级，对“both， as...as”等词和词组的用法掌握较好，并能自如运用课文中的佳句，如“she reaches for my hand and touches my heart”，“it’s not necessary to be the same as long as they are good”等。但总体来说句子稍显零碎，关联词用得较少；比较两者异同时句式较单一，逻辑顺序还有待改善。另外，还有几个小错误，同学们可以讨论指出。如能再仔细斟酌词句，调整文段之间的逻辑顺序，应当会增色不少。
参考范文
Yang is my good friend. We are similar in many ways. We are not only in the same class， but also in the same row. We are both tall and we both have long straight hair. Both of us like listening to music and laughing. I work as hard as her and she sings as well as me. Though we are the same in many ways， we have some differences， too. For example， she is taller and quieter than me. I’m less serious than her. She is not as outgoing as me. I like sports but she likes reading.
Do you know why Yang is my good friend？ Because she truly cares about me—that’s important to me. Also， she is a good listener. When I have trouble， I always tell her. Then she reaches for my hand and touches my heart.
It’s not necessary for friends to be the same as long as they are getting on well. I think my friend is good， don’t you？
向乐静
I have read many books， they are all very meaningful and interesting. My favorite book is “Stories in Sahara”. It’s a book about living in foreign countries. It’s written by Echo. She is a famous writer in Tai Pei. I can learn a lot of living skills from it and I feel relaxed when I read it. It shows me a colorful world that I didn’t know before. I want to have such a great trip when I grow up. So I study harder and harder to make my dream come true.
How about you？ What’s your favorite book？
刘丽珍老师点评：
本文是以“My favorite book”为题的一篇作文。该生阅读广泛，所以写起来有话可说。他先表述看书的好处，然后描述最喜欢的书的名称、作者及该书的大概内容，最后说出自己的梦想以及实现梦想的决心。文章恰当地运用了三种不同的时态 ，还采用了时间状语从句和定语从句等复合句，并用了非谓语动词中的不定式作宾语和目的状语。老师只要稍加修改就是一篇好的范文。
参考范文
I have read many books， which are all very meaningful and interesting. My favorite book is “Stories in Sahara”. It’s a book about living in Sahara. It was written by Echo. She was a famous writer who was born in Tai Pei. I can learn a lot of living skills from this book and I feel relaxed every time I read it. It shows me a colorful world that I didn’t know before. I want to have such a great trip when I grow up. So I will study harder and harder to make my dream come true.
How about you？ What’s your favorite book？