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导读：懂事的孩子不断讨好与顺从，内心却压抑着愤怒。
Most Chinese parents always tell their kids，“Sweetie， you should be well-behaved and be a good kid.” It sounds like being a good kid is honorable because it matches parents’expectations. So， lots of kids work hard on behaving to make their parents happy. Day after day， those kids start to have no respect for their own feelings. They are afraid of showing their own needs and have a nice appearance but are empty inside.
Why do parents ask their kids to be well-behaved？ The parents were taught this by their parents. They just pass it down to the next generation without thinking about the side effects. Second， it helps save time and energy. Parents can feel relaxed and at ease if the kids are well-behaved and do what they are told to do. They praise their kids if they do well and beat them up when they are “naughty”. Third， it makes the parents feel good about themselves if their kids see them as a god or a ruler. Fourth， the parents never treat their kids as equals. They believe that they are above their kids. Some even think they have given their kids life， so they can take it back. That’s why some parents beat their kids to death when they are not “good”. One more reason is that the parents can’t accept the fact that they are not perfect. So， if their kids are well-behaved， they think people may see them as well-educated and perfect.
Vocabulary
expectation n. 期許
side effect n. 副作用
equal n. 平等的人
（Love me as I am， not who you think I am.）
相关链接：本文编译于心理学者阿苏的《懂事的孩子心苦》。阿苏是心理咨询师，在心理咨询道路上行走16年，以心理咨询为终生事业。原文可通过添加微信号：asu1980阅读。
Most Chinese parents always tell their kids，“Sweetie， you should be well-behaved and be a good kid.” It sounds like being a good kid is honorable because it matches parents’expectations. So， lots of kids work hard on behaving to make their parents happy. Day after day， those kids start to have no respect for their own feelings. They are afraid of showing their own needs and have a nice appearance but are empty inside.
Why do parents ask their kids to be well-behaved？ The parents were taught this by their parents. They just pass it down to the next generation without thinking about the side effects. Second， it helps save time and energy. Parents can feel relaxed and at ease if the kids are well-behaved and do what they are told to do. They praise their kids if they do well and beat them up when they are “naughty”. Third， it makes the parents feel good about themselves if their kids see them as a god or a ruler. Fourth， the parents never treat their kids as equals. They believe that they are above their kids. Some even think they have given their kids life， so they can take it back. That’s why some parents beat their kids to death when they are not “good”. One more reason is that the parents can’t accept the fact that they are not perfect. So， if their kids are well-behaved， they think people may see them as well-educated and perfect.
Vocabulary
expectation n. 期許
side effect n. 副作用
equal n. 平等的人
（Love me as I am， not who you think I am.）
相关链接：本文编译于心理学者阿苏的《懂事的孩子心苦》。阿苏是心理咨询师，在心理咨询道路上行走16年，以心理咨询为终生事业。原文可通过添加微信号：asu1980阅读。