Like everyone, everywhere, the British are dreaming of winning piles of Olympic medals. But if other athletes from other nations happen to run off with the lion’s share[最大的一份] of the golds again, the Brits will know how to console[安慰] themselves.
　　They’ll head for the pub, order a beer, and ruminate[反复思考] on the fact that half of these sports wouldn’t even exist if it wasn’t for them. There’s a curious conviction[深信] among the British, that the best games on this planet were invented by them. Well, maybe not by them directly; by their sporty ancestors[祖先], looking for something wholesome[有益身心的] to do when they needed a break from drinking and running the British Empire.
　　The list of sports the Brits say they created is surprisingly long. It includes tennis, field hockey, soccer, badminton, golf, squash[壁球] and modern boxing.
　　Everyone knows the Chinese are the masters of ping pong. They’ve won far more Olympic gold medals than anyone else. Yet, if you suggest they invented that sport, the British will swiftly[很快地] put you straight. They’ll point out it began as an after-dinner game, played on the dinner table by cigar-puffing[喷出] Victorian gentlemen, using a champagne[香槟] cork[软木塞] as the ball, and books as the net and paddles[球拍]. They called it wiff waff.
　　Some Brits even suggested this nation invented baseball, after a 260-year-old diary surfaced in England, containing a description of a kid, playing something that sounded a little like that great game.
　　There’s more. The British also firmly believe Britain is the birthplace of the modern Olympics. In the heart of rural England—in a county called Shropshire—lies the little market town of Much Wenlock. Its inns[旅馆] and crooked[弯曲的] houses go back to medieval[中世纪的] times.
　　In the mid-19th century, the local doctor was a man called William Penny Brookes. Brookes was a passionate[充满热情的] believer that sport’s good for mind, body and soul, and that everyone should be allowed a crack[尝试] at it, from farm hands to the local gentry[乡绅]. So he organized the Much Wenlock Olympics.
　　The games began with a procession[行列，队伍] through town, led by a band—the model, perhaps, for today’s opening ceremony[仪式]. There were wheelbarrow[独轮手推车] races, singing, and quoits[掷铁环游戏]—another Old English invention that involved throwing a piece of rope or a horseshoe. Townsfolk ran around a track, and tossed[投，掷] a big rock. Much Wenlock still holds its Olympics annually[一年一次], though with different sports.
　　Brookes was as interested in ancient Greece as he was in sports. He began to bombard[炮轰] the Greek government with letters, urging[力劝] it to revive[（使）复兴] the Olympic Games in Athens. Eventually, Brookes recruited[征募] the support of a sports-mad French baron注 who took up his cause[事业] with gusto[由衷的高兴] and won the Greeks around.
　　In 1896, the first modern Summer Olympics were held in Athens, four months after Brookes died. The rest is history.
　　As this year’s games approach[接近], the British are already reveling[陶醉] in all their sporting inventions. In a new book, the Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, boasts[自夸] that these reveal[显示] the essential[本质的] difference between Britain and the rest of the world. The people of other nations, like the French, looked at a dining table and merely saw the opportunity to have dinner, says Johnson. The ingenious[有独创性的] British looked at the same table and played wiff waff.
　　I know, I know—big deal. But don’t we all need something to hang onto[紧紧抓住] when we’re weeping into our beer?
　　


　　就像任何地方的所有人一样，英国人也梦想着赢得成堆的奥运奖牌。但如果其他国家的运动员碰巧再次卷走大部分金牌，英国人也深谙自我安慰之道。
　　他们会走进酒吧，叫一杯啤酒，反复回味这件事情——如果不是因为他们，半数运动项目压根不会存在。英国人有一种莫名其妙的想法，认为地球上大多数最好看的比赛都是他们发明的。好吧，或许不是由他们直接发明，而是由他们热爱运动的祖先发明的——在举杯畅饮和治理大英帝国之余，祖先们需要休息片刻，便寻找一些有益身心的事情来做。
　　英国人自称由他们发明的运动能列出长得出人意料的清单，单子上包括网球、曲棍球、足球、羽毛球、高尔夫球、壁球和现代拳击等。
　　众所周知，中国人擅长打乒乓球。他们在奥运会乒乓球项目赢得的金牌数量远远超过其他国家。然而，假如你认为中国人发明了这项运动，英国人会马上纠正你。他们会指出，乒乓球始于一项饭后游戏，维多利亚时期的绅士们抽着雪茄，用香槟酒的软木塞当作球，用书当作球网和球拍，在餐桌上玩这种游戏。他们把这种游戏叫做“乒乓球（wiff waff）”。
　　一些英国人甚至认为英国发明了棒球：人们在英格兰发现了一本有260年历史的日记，其中有一段描述，写到一个小孩在玩游戏，听起来与这项伟大的运动有点相似。
　　他们的发明还不止这两种呢。他们还深信英国是现代奥运会的发祥地。在英格兰乡村的中心——一个叫什罗普郡的地方，有一个叫马奇温洛克的小集镇。那里的小旅馆及歪歪斜斜的房子可以追溯到中世纪。
　　在19世纪中期，当地有一位威廉·彭尼·布鲁克斯医生。布鲁克斯是一名运动狂，他相信运动有益于心灵、身体和灵魂，下至农夫，上至地方乡绅，每个人都应该参与其中。因此，他举办了马奇温洛克奥运会。
　　运动会由队伍穿越小镇开始，领头的是一组乐队——这或许就是今天奥运会开幕式的雏形。运动会上有独轮手推车赛跑、唱歌和套环项目（又一项古英国发明，需要抛出一段绳子或一块马蹄铁）。小镇的居民会沿着跑道奔跑，抛起一块大石。现在的马奇温洛克每年依然会举办自己的奥运会，不过运动项目已经不一样了。
　　就像他的运动热情一样，布鲁克斯对古希腊同样很有兴趣。他开始写信炮轰希腊政府，力劝其在雅典重新举办奥运会。最后，布鲁克斯得到了一位热衷于运动的法国男爵的支持。这位男爵兴致勃勃地接手布鲁克斯的事业，并成功说服了希腊人。
　　1896年，在布鲁克斯死后四个月，第一届现代夏季奥运会在雅典举行。接下来的事情就人尽皆知了。
　　随着今年奥运会的临近，英国人已经沉浸在他们发明的运动之中。在一本新书里，伦敦市长鲍里斯·约翰逊夸耀说，这些运动显示了英国与其他国家的本质区别。约翰逊说，其他国家的人——比如法国人看到餐桌，只会想到用餐；而富有发明天分的英国人看到同样的餐桌，则玩起了乒乓球（wiff waff）。
　　我知道，我知道——真是了不起。但是，在借酒消愁之时，我们不都需要有一点依托聊以慰藉吗？