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Nowadays, food waste is serious in China. First Chinese are hospitality and we cook much food so that people can’t eat them all. On the other hand, banquets at public expenses make some people waste the food, too. Because they think it will make them look like rich.
People are considering the problem. Some of them come up with the “Clear the Plates” and most of people agree with them. So we launched an activity which named “Clear the Plates”. In my opinion, I think “clear the Plates” will decrease the food waste. Besides, more and more people will take part in the activity by knowing from computer or others. And the food waste will be solved in the end.
目前我国餐桌浪费现象严重,因此就本话题撰写文章具有一定的针对性和现实意义。从学生习作来看,能按照要求从两个方面来阐述,即餐桌浪费现象和对活动的看法。餐桌浪费现象的原因有二:一是中国人的好客之道;二是因为用公款,所以大手大脚。针对问题,该生提倡推行社会上有识人士发起的“光盘行动”,认为该行动有助于减少浪费,并有信心最后餐桌浪费现象会得到解决。应该说,该生的写作思路是清楚的,逻辑是顺畅的,总体要表达的信息是明确的。这些都是值得肯定的地方。
但总体来看,该生的英语水平还比较欠缺,表现为:
1.语法问题。举例如下:
(1)Chinese are hospitality and we cook much food so that people can’t eat them all.
这一句中,“hospitality”(好客)为名词,说明该生在使用过程中,无法准确判断词性或灵活运用,不能从名词推断出相应的形容词“hospitable”,所以产生像“Chinese are hospitality”这样的句子。另外,“so...that”句型掌握不熟练,应该改为:“we cook so much food that people can’t eat them all. ”
(2)So we launched an activity which named “Clear the Plates”.
这句话的时态有问题,整篇作文中的时态基本上都是一般现在时,但“launched”是一般过去时,应该改为“have launched”,以达到时态的一致。该生不光对时态缺少敏感性,对语态也缺少敏感性,所以写了 “which named”这样的句子,而事实上“which”后面应该添加“be”动词,构成被动结构。汉语中的时态主要靠词汇手段和上下文的逻辑联系体现,较少用被动语态,学生往往受到母语负迁移(negative transfer)的影响,在英语写作的过程中,犯类似的时态语态错误。建议中学英语教师在教学的过程中,跟学生强调时态语态的重要性,并要求他们在完成作文的写作之后,进行时态语态检查。
(3)Because they think it will make them look like rich.
“Because”从句一般不能单独成句,像该生这样的误用,在中学生阶段也比较常见。
2.用词问题。对高三学生来说,这篇文章所体现出来的词汇水平是有所欠缺的。如:
(1)该生的词汇量比较有限,除了给出的参考词汇(好客:hospitality;公款吃喝:banquets at public expenses;发起:launch)之外,几乎没有用稍微难一点的词汇。
(2)对词义的理解不够到位,如在“In my opinion, I think ‘clear the Plates’ will decrease the food waste”中,“In my opinion”和“I think”存在词义重复现象。
3.逻辑问题。逻辑问题也是中学生写作中经常存在的问题。比如:
(1)第一段“On the other hand, banquets at public expenses make some people waste the food, too”中,“On the other hand”的前后句,并不存在对比关系,而应该理解为递进或者并列关系,所以该连接词的选用是不当的。
(2)“Besides, more and more people will take part in the activity by knowing from computer or others”中,“Besides”的前后句之间也并不存在该连接词隐含的逻辑联系。
Anti-waste and “Clear the Plates” Campaign
Food waste is a serious problem nowadays in China. Chinese people are hospitable, so when we receive guests at home, we usually cook so much food that the guests cannot finish it all. Food waste is even more serious at the banquets at public expense, because the host wants to give others the impression that he is rich or powerful. People are trying to tackle the problem by launching the “Clear the Plates” Campaign. In my opinion, this campaign will decrease food waste. And I have reason to believe that more and more people will take part in the activity, so the problem will be solved in the end.
另外附上较好的一篇习作(参考范文):
Food waste is a serious problem in China. To show their hospitality in interpersonal communication, some consumers order far more than is necessary, meaning that much food remains untouched and is thrown away.
What is even more unbearable is that banquets at public expense also costs our government a huge amount of money, which actually could have been spent in helping those in need. Consequently, such waste really makes people disappointed and discouraged.
To our delight, a nationwide campaign against waste at the dining table, known as the “Clear the Plates” Campaign, has been launched. It is gaining more acceptance and support, and is most likely to become the mainstream for hospitality through everyone’s effort.
(点评:陈科芳|浙江外国语学院)
People are considering the problem. Some of them come up with the “Clear the Plates” and most of people agree with them. So we launched an activity which named “Clear the Plates”. In my opinion, I think “clear the Plates” will decrease the food waste. Besides, more and more people will take part in the activity by knowing from computer or others. And the food waste will be solved in the end.
目前我国餐桌浪费现象严重,因此就本话题撰写文章具有一定的针对性和现实意义。从学生习作来看,能按照要求从两个方面来阐述,即餐桌浪费现象和对活动的看法。餐桌浪费现象的原因有二:一是中国人的好客之道;二是因为用公款,所以大手大脚。针对问题,该生提倡推行社会上有识人士发起的“光盘行动”,认为该行动有助于减少浪费,并有信心最后餐桌浪费现象会得到解决。应该说,该生的写作思路是清楚的,逻辑是顺畅的,总体要表达的信息是明确的。这些都是值得肯定的地方。
但总体来看,该生的英语水平还比较欠缺,表现为:
1.语法问题。举例如下:
(1)Chinese are hospitality and we cook much food so that people can’t eat them all.
这一句中,“hospitality”(好客)为名词,说明该生在使用过程中,无法准确判断词性或灵活运用,不能从名词推断出相应的形容词“hospitable”,所以产生像“Chinese are hospitality”这样的句子。另外,“so...that”句型掌握不熟练,应该改为:“we cook so much food that people can’t eat them all. ”
(2)So we launched an activity which named “Clear the Plates”.
这句话的时态有问题,整篇作文中的时态基本上都是一般现在时,但“launched”是一般过去时,应该改为“have launched”,以达到时态的一致。该生不光对时态缺少敏感性,对语态也缺少敏感性,所以写了 “which named”这样的句子,而事实上“which”后面应该添加“be”动词,构成被动结构。汉语中的时态主要靠词汇手段和上下文的逻辑联系体现,较少用被动语态,学生往往受到母语负迁移(negative transfer)的影响,在英语写作的过程中,犯类似的时态语态错误。建议中学英语教师在教学的过程中,跟学生强调时态语态的重要性,并要求他们在完成作文的写作之后,进行时态语态检查。
(3)Because they think it will make them look like rich.
“Because”从句一般不能单独成句,像该生这样的误用,在中学生阶段也比较常见。
2.用词问题。对高三学生来说,这篇文章所体现出来的词汇水平是有所欠缺的。如:
(1)该生的词汇量比较有限,除了给出的参考词汇(好客:hospitality;公款吃喝:banquets at public expenses;发起:launch)之外,几乎没有用稍微难一点的词汇。
(2)对词义的理解不够到位,如在“In my opinion, I think ‘clear the Plates’ will decrease the food waste”中,“In my opinion”和“I think”存在词义重复现象。
3.逻辑问题。逻辑问题也是中学生写作中经常存在的问题。比如:
(1)第一段“On the other hand, banquets at public expenses make some people waste the food, too”中,“On the other hand”的前后句,并不存在对比关系,而应该理解为递进或者并列关系,所以该连接词的选用是不当的。
(2)“Besides, more and more people will take part in the activity by knowing from computer or others”中,“Besides”的前后句之间也并不存在该连接词隐含的逻辑联系。
Anti-waste and “Clear the Plates” Campaign
Food waste is a serious problem nowadays in China. Chinese people are hospitable, so when we receive guests at home, we usually cook so much food that the guests cannot finish it all. Food waste is even more serious at the banquets at public expense, because the host wants to give others the impression that he is rich or powerful. People are trying to tackle the problem by launching the “Clear the Plates” Campaign. In my opinion, this campaign will decrease food waste. And I have reason to believe that more and more people will take part in the activity, so the problem will be solved in the end.
另外附上较好的一篇习作(参考范文):
Food waste is a serious problem in China. To show their hospitality in interpersonal communication, some consumers order far more than is necessary, meaning that much food remains untouched and is thrown away.
What is even more unbearable is that banquets at public expense also costs our government a huge amount of money, which actually could have been spent in helping those in need. Consequently, such waste really makes people disappointed and discouraged.
To our delight, a nationwide campaign against waste at the dining table, known as the “Clear the Plates” Campaign, has been launched. It is gaining more acceptance and support, and is most likely to become the mainstream for hospitality through everyone’s effort.
(点评:陈科芳|浙江外国语学院)