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How to Verify that Your Pet Dog Has Fallen Love with You
1. Cries hysterically①when you arrive home. No matter how long you’ve been away.
2. Licks your face frantically②. No it’s not gross and unhygienic， it’s ridiculously sweet and probably just as exfoliating as a cat’s tongue， actually.
3 . J umps on you， possibly in a full body slam . The excitement is why you’ve got those bruises. Love m arks， as I call them .
4 . T a k es y o ur knickers/socks/shoes onto the bed with them . My dog will take any garm ent③ of m ine that she can， just to be near m e.
5. J umps up begging to be held. No， my dog is not a performing genius， she just sometimes sees how far away my lickable face is， and demands to be carried.
6. Chases the ball you throw in the park. The dog is an intelligent， complex animal. It cares not for a rubber ball. It would much rather enjoy the autumnal④leav es and the bracing air， but indulges⑤ your odd fetish for throwing tennis balls because it loves you.
7. Tries to get in the bath with you. This one might just be my dog though...
8. Wakes you up. Your mutt wants you to get to work on time. They’ve been up all night， staring at the clock， anxiously wondering when they should nudge you.
9. Smiles at you. No， I’m not mad. Y es， my dog definitely smiles at me. Why wouldn’t she？ I’m delightful.
10. V ets your dates. If you’re undecided about a new love interest， int roduce t hem t o your canine companion. There is no faster way to tell if a person is good enough for you.
11. Snuggles as close as possible to you. Even if you’re doing a tricky yoga position on the floor， or trying to write a piece on deadline （like right now）.
12. Sits on your knee. At dinner parties， while working， when watching TV. My dog demands to be picked up， and placed on my knees， from where she surveys the scene （or waits for food）.
13. Waits at the window when they sense that you’re coming home. Looking forlornly out， as though waiting for a lover to come home from sea. Even your real lover doesn’t do that.
14. Gets jealous. Dogs get jealous of anything you pay attention to： humans； other dogs； the cat nemesis next door. They want all of you， and will remind you of this constantly.
15. Eats anything off the floor.
"Look， I’m helping you tidy！"
16. Is protective of you. This one is obvious， unless your dog is a pug or a chihuahua， in which case it’s sweet， but also embarrassing in front of men with staffies （see above）.
1.当你到家的时候歇斯底里地大叫。不管你离开多久。
2. 热情地舔你的脸。其实，这一点儿也不脏，一点儿也不粗鲁。相反狗狗舔你的脸时，带着浓浓的甜蜜。而且，有可能还能去角质呢，就像猫的舌头一样。
3. 跳到你身上。因此你身上有了些擦伤，但这也恰恰是乐趣所在。我把这称之为“爱的记号”。
4. 跑到你床上，并且把你的内裤、袜子和鞋子一起带上去。我的狗狗会把任何它能带的衣服带上床，就是为了能亲近我，就像靠着我一样。
5. 跳起来求抱抱。不，我的狗并不擅长表演。她只是有时候想舔舔我的脸，但是够不着。她希望我能随身带着她。
6. 追你扔的球。狗是一种聪明、心思细密的动物。它在乎的并不是橡皮球。它其实更乐意享受秋天的落叶和令人心旷神怡的空气。它之所以如此乐此不疲地陪你玩扔网球这个奇怪的游戏，是因为它爱你。
7. 试着和你一起洗澡。这一点估计只有我的狗会这样。
8. 叫你起床。你的狗希望你能按时上班。它们一整晚都醒着，盯着闹钟，紧张兮兮，想知道什么时候把你推醒。
9.对着你微笑。我并不是在胡说。我的狗的确会对我微笑。它为什么不会呢？我很高兴。
10.监视你约会。如果你不确定新的恋人是否合适，那么就把他介绍给你的伙伴：狗。这样你会最快知道，这个人对你是否足够好。
11.紧紧地依偎着你。即使你正在地板上做着高难度的瑜伽动作，或者正在赶着写文章。
12.坐在你的膝盖上。在宴会上，在你工作的时候，当你看电视的时候，坐在你的膝盖上。我的狗会在等食物的地方，要求我抱起它，把它放在我的膝盖上。
13.当它们察觉你回到家的时候，在窗前等着你。焦急地盼望着，就像等待从海边归来的爱人。或许你真正的爱人也做不到。
14.心生嫉妒。狗会嫉妒一切你关注的东西：人类，其他狗，视之为敌的隔壁人家的猫。它们希望你全部都属于它，并且会不断提醒你这一点。
15.把掉在地上的东西吃光。“看，我帮你打扫卫生呢！”
16.保护你。这一点是显而易见的。除非，你的狗是一只哈巴狗或者吉娃娃，看上去甜美可爱。这时候如果是在一个带着斗牛梗的男人面前谈你的狗能够保护你，似乎会有点显得尴尬。
1. Cries hysterically①when you arrive home. No matter how long you’ve been away.
2. Licks your face frantically②. No it’s not gross and unhygienic， it’s ridiculously sweet and probably just as exfoliating as a cat’s tongue， actually.
3 . J umps on you， possibly in a full body slam . The excitement is why you’ve got those bruises. Love m arks， as I call them .
4 . T a k es y o ur knickers/socks/shoes onto the bed with them . My dog will take any garm ent③ of m ine that she can， just to be near m e.
5. J umps up begging to be held. No， my dog is not a performing genius， she just sometimes sees how far away my lickable face is， and demands to be carried.
6. Chases the ball you throw in the park. The dog is an intelligent， complex animal. It cares not for a rubber ball. It would much rather enjoy the autumnal④leav es and the bracing air， but indulges⑤ your odd fetish for throwing tennis balls because it loves you.
7. Tries to get in the bath with you. This one might just be my dog though...
8. Wakes you up. Your mutt wants you to get to work on time. They’ve been up all night， staring at the clock， anxiously wondering when they should nudge you.
9. Smiles at you. No， I’m not mad. Y es， my dog definitely smiles at me. Why wouldn’t she？ I’m delightful.
10. V ets your dates. If you’re undecided about a new love interest， int roduce t hem t o your canine companion. There is no faster way to tell if a person is good enough for you.
11. Snuggles as close as possible to you. Even if you’re doing a tricky yoga position on the floor， or trying to write a piece on deadline （like right now）.
12. Sits on your knee. At dinner parties， while working， when watching TV. My dog demands to be picked up， and placed on my knees， from where she surveys the scene （or waits for food）.
13. Waits at the window when they sense that you’re coming home. Looking forlornly out， as though waiting for a lover to come home from sea. Even your real lover doesn’t do that.
14. Gets jealous. Dogs get jealous of anything you pay attention to： humans； other dogs； the cat nemesis next door. They want all of you， and will remind you of this constantly.
15. Eats anything off the floor.
"Look， I’m helping you tidy！"
16. Is protective of you. This one is obvious， unless your dog is a pug or a chihuahua， in which case it’s sweet， but also embarrassing in front of men with staffies （see above）.
1.当你到家的时候歇斯底里地大叫。不管你离开多久。
2. 热情地舔你的脸。其实，这一点儿也不脏，一点儿也不粗鲁。相反狗狗舔你的脸时，带着浓浓的甜蜜。而且，有可能还能去角质呢，就像猫的舌头一样。
3. 跳到你身上。因此你身上有了些擦伤，但这也恰恰是乐趣所在。我把这称之为“爱的记号”。
4. 跑到你床上，并且把你的内裤、袜子和鞋子一起带上去。我的狗狗会把任何它能带的衣服带上床，就是为了能亲近我，就像靠着我一样。
5. 跳起来求抱抱。不，我的狗并不擅长表演。她只是有时候想舔舔我的脸，但是够不着。她希望我能随身带着她。
6. 追你扔的球。狗是一种聪明、心思细密的动物。它在乎的并不是橡皮球。它其实更乐意享受秋天的落叶和令人心旷神怡的空气。它之所以如此乐此不疲地陪你玩扔网球这个奇怪的游戏，是因为它爱你。
7. 试着和你一起洗澡。这一点估计只有我的狗会这样。
8. 叫你起床。你的狗希望你能按时上班。它们一整晚都醒着，盯着闹钟，紧张兮兮，想知道什么时候把你推醒。
9.对着你微笑。我并不是在胡说。我的狗的确会对我微笑。它为什么不会呢？我很高兴。
10.监视你约会。如果你不确定新的恋人是否合适，那么就把他介绍给你的伙伴：狗。这样你会最快知道，这个人对你是否足够好。
11.紧紧地依偎着你。即使你正在地板上做着高难度的瑜伽动作，或者正在赶着写文章。
12.坐在你的膝盖上。在宴会上，在你工作的时候，当你看电视的时候，坐在你的膝盖上。我的狗会在等食物的地方，要求我抱起它，把它放在我的膝盖上。
13.当它们察觉你回到家的时候，在窗前等着你。焦急地盼望着，就像等待从海边归来的爱人。或许你真正的爱人也做不到。
14.心生嫉妒。狗会嫉妒一切你关注的东西：人类，其他狗，视之为敌的隔壁人家的猫。它们希望你全部都属于它，并且会不断提醒你这一点。
15.把掉在地上的东西吃光。“看，我帮你打扫卫生呢！”
16.保护你。这一点是显而易见的。除非，你的狗是一只哈巴狗或者吉娃娃，看上去甜美可爱。这时候如果是在一个带着斗牛梗的男人面前谈你的狗能够保护你，似乎会有点显得尴尬。