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【摘要】：本論文是根据电视剧《绝望的主妇》对美国家庭价值观进行探讨，并与中国家庭的价值观进行对比研究。本文将通过最直观的方式来比较在 《绝望主妇》 中的美国家庭与中国的家庭。本文将通过中西方家庭价值观的对比来展现中西方家庭价值观的差异。本文有五个部分组成，第一部分是对研究背景、研究目的和研究意义的阐述;第二部分是文献综述;第三部分是简介该剧并就中美家庭价值观进行分析;第四部分是就中美家庭以及价值观的分析;第五部分是结论。
关键词：教育;婚姻;亲子关系;家庭价值观
【Abstract】
This article is mainly to discuss the America family value in the television series Desperate Housewives and make a comparative study with the value of Chinese family. Literature review in this thesis provides a clue for the author to carry out this study. A major method used in this thesis is the comparative method by which the author compares Chinese with American Family Value. There are five parts in this thesis. In the first part， the background， purpose and significance of the thesis will be introduced. In the second part， the literature review will be shown. In the third part， based on the TV drama the author analyzes the differences of family of China and America. In the fourth part， family and family value of two countries will be analyzed. The last part is the conclusion of this thesis.
【Key words】： Education;Marriage;Parenthood;Family value
I. A Comparative study on Family Value between Chinese and American based on Desperate Housewives
1.1 Different value in marriage
The relationship between husband and wife is the most close and the most long interpersonal relationship， which is the most basic relationship in family. Understanding the fundamental difference between American cultural values and Chinese cultural values is very necessary for the understanding of the two different views of marriage （Zhou， 2010）.
For Chinese marriage view， people tend to ‘friendly’， and they pay compassionate in dealing with sexual relations. When they encounter marital crisis， they will choose to take a tolerant attitude for the other side in order to maintain the whole family， although the crisis also still exist in the marriage. In a word， Chinese family pays more attention to ethics that the complete family is advocated by the society. For American marriage view， American advocate the extreme individualism， which includes the individual rights， freedom， and personal independence， and they emphasize innovation and enterprising. When American encounter marital crisis， they will choose the positive attitude to n Lynette Scavo who have four children finds that the marriage is tedious， and the marriage faces a crisis form the ex-girlfriend of her husband， she chooses to take the positive attitude that using sexy clothes and dressing to enhance the temperament in the marriage in order to resolve the marriage crisis. 1.1.1 Chinese marriage view
For most Chinese couples， marriage is the most important question. With the end of a marriage， both spouses will be hurt greatly. Marriage is not a personal thing， it is entangled with various factors such as morality， responsibility and honor. Under the influence of collectivism， Chinese couples will not put personal interests in the most important position， and they focus on their families. The establishment of a harmonious and happy family is the common goal of both husband and wife in China. Because this goal is the most important question in the marriage relationship， and this goal will not be achieved by emphasizing the vital interests of each member of the families， everyone in the family should be humanized， tolerant and patient.
In the past Chinese society， marriages arranged by their parents， people had no freedom to choose the person who would marry with. And at that time marriage was mainly about having babies. The most important thing was that the two families of a marriage should be well-matched in every field. In the Western Zhou dynasty being married with someone should meet the two basic principles and the first was ‘make match by parents’ order and match-maker’s word’， and the second was that people couldn’t get married with the person who had the same gender with him or her （Shi， 1987）.
1.1.2 American marriage view
The three value which are of equality， independence and right are throughout the America family. American couple spoke highly of individualism， and they use the rational principle of treatment of family members and family affairs. They respect others’ privacy and rarely interfere to each others’ affairs. Marriage life occupies a large part of their daily life， and both husband and wife focus on each other， but they seldom make blood relations involved. The husband will not be forced to succumb to his wife in the relationship between husband and wife， and he wants his wife to have the independent personality， at the same time， in order to get his recognition of their independence. In American family， if both the husband and wife lose their individuality， it means the loss of their charm， however， emphasis on individuality and independence does not mean lack of emotional exchange between couples. In Desperate Housewives， the author digs out more of the self as the starting point of the individualism， the housewives emphasize individual right and the duty， and pay attention to independence. The members in the marriage often take positive measures to deal with the marriage crisis. Just like Mary is firmly for a divorce under the discovery of her first husband having an affair， but she still loves her husband， so finally she chooses to conform her real feelings to get together with her husband again， and she feels very happy， then she takes a positive attitude to get the key problem between her and her husband in order to solve the marriage crisis. The Male and female in America marriage plays the role of independence and equality. There are different expectations the roles of men and women in plays of different culture. In Desperate Housewives， as a housewife， they are industrious， delicate， sentimental， and in pursuit of perfection and pleasure. But when they encounter marriage crisis， they do not hesitate to show a stronger than men： in the face of regret and derailed husband， Bree changes the past elegant style， rejecting him to stop the divorce proceedings cold firmly， and to continue the revenge to the husband， the full-time wife Lynette instead her husband to return the workplace， she feels just like a fish in water， more prosperous. Gabrielle who can not do nothing past and resolutely refused to be a mother， and has love affair with young person to fill her empty， experiencing a sudden turn for the worse social status to care for the blind husband， and decides to transition to have two daughters housewife image to tide over the difficulties. Therefore， the core of American marriage value is equal gender status. In order to maintain the stability of marriage and happiness， not necessarily a masculine men， women are not necessarily a feminine， and the independent and equal play roles in marriage will make sail voyage.
2. 1 Different value in education
In American dramas， the audience often sees in the morning some children riding a bicycle to send the newspapers， and the car ride very fast， the rolled newspaper to throw even to the door of tenants. In fact， many American children go to work， such as delivering newspapers， milk， mowing the lawn， cleaning out the garage， in the restaurant playing as the waiter. It’s not because their families are poor， but because they want to earn more money and to cultivate the ability through one's own efforts （Fu， 2010）.
In Desperate Housewives， John works as a gardener in Gabrielle’s home. Danny is the waiter in the restaurant. This is really having a large difference in Chinese families that some ‘neets’ even over 30 are also dependent on their parents. In Season 1 of Desperate Housewives， John’s parents find Gabrielle to ask her to leave his son， then Gabrielle lets them tell their son， and John's parents say that the son is already full eighteen years old and moving away from their home. In the sixth season， Susan gets a fortune from her ex husband Karl， when her husband Mike is on the verge of bankruptcy， she offers to help him， but Mike has refuses to it. Isn’t money the common property between husband and wife？ Why not？ Think carefully， under the influence of concept of the economic independence， Mike’s self-esteem is very strong， and he does not want to use the Karl's money， which results that Mike goes bankrupt and moves away from Wisteria lane. In Chinese family education， the opinion of family education goal is just the opposite to American families， which can be summed up in one sentence of hoping their children will become the person who goes beyond others. During the growth of children， in addition to more care in the life， the parents are concerned about the children's intellectual development mostly， which is the most important thing. So a very prominent tendency in family shows that education is paid more attention to the intellectual investment while neglecting the spirit of optimization of children. Parents in Chinese family pay more attention to the family honor. Also parents wish their children to achieve their dreams they didn’t come true， which causes a heavy burden on their children. Based on such Chinese family oriented education objective， Chinese parents are training children with full of the strong utility and purposiveness. 3.1 Different value in the relationship between parents and children
In China， parents are the children's guardians. To feed without teaching is the father’s fault （Yao， 2014）. Education for children is the foundation of their future growth. Under the protection of their parents， children are basically in a passive state. In fact， American parents also hope the children grow up to become an outstanding talent. But American thought is deeply individualistic， and natural family education focus it on the children into independent individual and the development of children's personality （Li，2008）. They do not usually force their children to learn， but play a role as friend. They are good at giving systematic guidance and teaching them to try their efforts to reach a goal. In American parent-child relationship， parents and children get along with each other more like friends， and they will encourage the children to do what they really like， then enjoy the fun with children. For example， Susan is easier to get fear than her daughter， so she often relies on her daughter who is younger than herself， and her daughter becomes her heart. It can be said that Susan and her daughter are like real sisters. The family formed by the roles of mother and daughter is not a whole family， which is lack of the father. Many people will think that it is hard for the members to get along in the family， but the fact is that the environment of a single-parent family is full of freedom， equality， and mutual care， and etc. So the single-parent families can also maintain well with love.
Conclusion
This paper is discussing the differences between Chinese and American family value based on Desperate Housewives and its social and cultural root. From the discussion it is found that Chinese families pursue the harmony between family members. They are supportive of the idea ‘All for one， one for all’， to establish the corresponding relation generated between the ‘two’ people. And American families have a belief that ‘Every man for himself， and God for us all’. Under the influence of two different family values， there are significant differences in sustaining and supporting their own families. Though they are different in many respects， one thing can be sure is that Chinese family value which originated from Confusion culture thousands of years ago are helpful enough to build up a harmonious family， thus improving the peace of Chinese society. In America， the individualism， independence， freedom which is strongly emphasized in Desperate Housewives， can also be helpful for parents in China to think about how to make their children more creative and independent. Hopefully， this paper will serve as a bridge for the people in the two countries to know how important their own family value is.
References
Andrew Cherlin，1998. Public and Private Families.USA： The McGraw Hill Companies Inc.
Dennis Ahlburg and Carol De Vita，1997. New R realities of the America Family. New York： Longman press.
K.C. Constantine. 1996. Family Values. Mysterious Press of Warner Books
付曉雪. 浅析中美亲子关系差异[J].安徽文学，2009（12）：308-309
李朝阳.美剧《绝望的主妇》文化主题剖析[J].电影文学，2011（11）：27-48.
李桂梅.中西家庭伦理比较研究[M.]湖南大学出版社，2008， 65.
李林. 美国家庭[M]. 英语知识出版社， 2004（2）
史凤仪.中国古代婚姻与家庭[M.]河北人民出版社，1987.
王恩铭.当代美国社会与文化[M].上海外语教育出版社，2007.年版46.
王玉娟. 中美家庭价值观的跨文化差异对比研究[J]. 2008.
关键词：教育;婚姻;亲子关系;家庭价值观
【Abstract】
This article is mainly to discuss the America family value in the television series Desperate Housewives and make a comparative study with the value of Chinese family. Literature review in this thesis provides a clue for the author to carry out this study. A major method used in this thesis is the comparative method by which the author compares Chinese with American Family Value. There are five parts in this thesis. In the first part， the background， purpose and significance of the thesis will be introduced. In the second part， the literature review will be shown. In the third part， based on the TV drama the author analyzes the differences of family of China and America. In the fourth part， family and family value of two countries will be analyzed. The last part is the conclusion of this thesis.
【Key words】： Education;Marriage;Parenthood;Family value
I. A Comparative study on Family Value between Chinese and American based on Desperate Housewives
1.1 Different value in marriage
The relationship between husband and wife is the most close and the most long interpersonal relationship， which is the most basic relationship in family. Understanding the fundamental difference between American cultural values and Chinese cultural values is very necessary for the understanding of the two different views of marriage （Zhou， 2010）.
For Chinese marriage view， people tend to ‘friendly’， and they pay compassionate in dealing with sexual relations. When they encounter marital crisis， they will choose to take a tolerant attitude for the other side in order to maintain the whole family， although the crisis also still exist in the marriage. In a word， Chinese family pays more attention to ethics that the complete family is advocated by the society. For American marriage view， American advocate the extreme individualism， which includes the individual rights， freedom， and personal independence， and they emphasize innovation and enterprising. When American encounter marital crisis， they will choose the positive attitude to n Lynette Scavo who have four children finds that the marriage is tedious， and the marriage faces a crisis form the ex-girlfriend of her husband， she chooses to take the positive attitude that using sexy clothes and dressing to enhance the temperament in the marriage in order to resolve the marriage crisis. 1.1.1 Chinese marriage view
For most Chinese couples， marriage is the most important question. With the end of a marriage， both spouses will be hurt greatly. Marriage is not a personal thing， it is entangled with various factors such as morality， responsibility and honor. Under the influence of collectivism， Chinese couples will not put personal interests in the most important position， and they focus on their families. The establishment of a harmonious and happy family is the common goal of both husband and wife in China. Because this goal is the most important question in the marriage relationship， and this goal will not be achieved by emphasizing the vital interests of each member of the families， everyone in the family should be humanized， tolerant and patient.
In the past Chinese society， marriages arranged by their parents， people had no freedom to choose the person who would marry with. And at that time marriage was mainly about having babies. The most important thing was that the two families of a marriage should be well-matched in every field. In the Western Zhou dynasty being married with someone should meet the two basic principles and the first was ‘make match by parents’ order and match-maker’s word’， and the second was that people couldn’t get married with the person who had the same gender with him or her （Shi， 1987）.
1.1.2 American marriage view
The three value which are of equality， independence and right are throughout the America family. American couple spoke highly of individualism， and they use the rational principle of treatment of family members and family affairs. They respect others’ privacy and rarely interfere to each others’ affairs. Marriage life occupies a large part of their daily life， and both husband and wife focus on each other， but they seldom make blood relations involved. The husband will not be forced to succumb to his wife in the relationship between husband and wife， and he wants his wife to have the independent personality， at the same time， in order to get his recognition of their independence. In American family， if both the husband and wife lose their individuality， it means the loss of their charm， however， emphasis on individuality and independence does not mean lack of emotional exchange between couples. In Desperate Housewives， the author digs out more of the self as the starting point of the individualism， the housewives emphasize individual right and the duty， and pay attention to independence. The members in the marriage often take positive measures to deal with the marriage crisis. Just like Mary is firmly for a divorce under the discovery of her first husband having an affair， but she still loves her husband， so finally she chooses to conform her real feelings to get together with her husband again， and she feels very happy， then she takes a positive attitude to get the key problem between her and her husband in order to solve the marriage crisis. The Male and female in America marriage plays the role of independence and equality. There are different expectations the roles of men and women in plays of different culture. In Desperate Housewives， as a housewife， they are industrious， delicate， sentimental， and in pursuit of perfection and pleasure. But when they encounter marriage crisis， they do not hesitate to show a stronger than men： in the face of regret and derailed husband， Bree changes the past elegant style， rejecting him to stop the divorce proceedings cold firmly， and to continue the revenge to the husband， the full-time wife Lynette instead her husband to return the workplace， she feels just like a fish in water， more prosperous. Gabrielle who can not do nothing past and resolutely refused to be a mother， and has love affair with young person to fill her empty， experiencing a sudden turn for the worse social status to care for the blind husband， and decides to transition to have two daughters housewife image to tide over the difficulties. Therefore， the core of American marriage value is equal gender status. In order to maintain the stability of marriage and happiness， not necessarily a masculine men， women are not necessarily a feminine， and the independent and equal play roles in marriage will make sail voyage.
2. 1 Different value in education
In American dramas， the audience often sees in the morning some children riding a bicycle to send the newspapers， and the car ride very fast， the rolled newspaper to throw even to the door of tenants. In fact， many American children go to work， such as delivering newspapers， milk， mowing the lawn， cleaning out the garage， in the restaurant playing as the waiter. It’s not because their families are poor， but because they want to earn more money and to cultivate the ability through one's own efforts （Fu， 2010）.
In Desperate Housewives， John works as a gardener in Gabrielle’s home. Danny is the waiter in the restaurant. This is really having a large difference in Chinese families that some ‘neets’ even over 30 are also dependent on their parents. In Season 1 of Desperate Housewives， John’s parents find Gabrielle to ask her to leave his son， then Gabrielle lets them tell their son， and John's parents say that the son is already full eighteen years old and moving away from their home. In the sixth season， Susan gets a fortune from her ex husband Karl， when her husband Mike is on the verge of bankruptcy， she offers to help him， but Mike has refuses to it. Isn’t money the common property between husband and wife？ Why not？ Think carefully， under the influence of concept of the economic independence， Mike’s self-esteem is very strong， and he does not want to use the Karl's money， which results that Mike goes bankrupt and moves away from Wisteria lane. In Chinese family education， the opinion of family education goal is just the opposite to American families， which can be summed up in one sentence of hoping their children will become the person who goes beyond others. During the growth of children， in addition to more care in the life， the parents are concerned about the children's intellectual development mostly， which is the most important thing. So a very prominent tendency in family shows that education is paid more attention to the intellectual investment while neglecting the spirit of optimization of children. Parents in Chinese family pay more attention to the family honor. Also parents wish their children to achieve their dreams they didn’t come true， which causes a heavy burden on their children. Based on such Chinese family oriented education objective， Chinese parents are training children with full of the strong utility and purposiveness. 3.1 Different value in the relationship between parents and children
In China， parents are the children's guardians. To feed without teaching is the father’s fault （Yao， 2014）. Education for children is the foundation of their future growth. Under the protection of their parents， children are basically in a passive state. In fact， American parents also hope the children grow up to become an outstanding talent. But American thought is deeply individualistic， and natural family education focus it on the children into independent individual and the development of children's personality （Li，2008）. They do not usually force their children to learn， but play a role as friend. They are good at giving systematic guidance and teaching them to try their efforts to reach a goal. In American parent-child relationship， parents and children get along with each other more like friends， and they will encourage the children to do what they really like， then enjoy the fun with children. For example， Susan is easier to get fear than her daughter， so she often relies on her daughter who is younger than herself， and her daughter becomes her heart. It can be said that Susan and her daughter are like real sisters. The family formed by the roles of mother and daughter is not a whole family， which is lack of the father. Many people will think that it is hard for the members to get along in the family， but the fact is that the environment of a single-parent family is full of freedom， equality， and mutual care， and etc. So the single-parent families can also maintain well with love.
Conclusion
This paper is discussing the differences between Chinese and American family value based on Desperate Housewives and its social and cultural root. From the discussion it is found that Chinese families pursue the harmony between family members. They are supportive of the idea ‘All for one， one for all’， to establish the corresponding relation generated between the ‘two’ people. And American families have a belief that ‘Every man for himself， and God for us all’. Under the influence of two different family values， there are significant differences in sustaining and supporting their own families. Though they are different in many respects， one thing can be sure is that Chinese family value which originated from Confusion culture thousands of years ago are helpful enough to build up a harmonious family， thus improving the peace of Chinese society. In America， the individualism， independence， freedom which is strongly emphasized in Desperate Housewives， can also be helpful for parents in China to think about how to make their children more creative and independent. Hopefully， this paper will serve as a bridge for the people in the two countries to know how important their own family value is.
References
Andrew Cherlin，1998. Public and Private Families.USA： The McGraw Hill Companies Inc.
Dennis Ahlburg and Carol De Vita，1997. New R realities of the America Family. New York： Longman press.
K.C. Constantine. 1996. Family Values. Mysterious Press of Warner Books
付曉雪. 浅析中美亲子关系差异[J].安徽文学，2009（12）：308-309
李朝阳.美剧《绝望的主妇》文化主题剖析[J].电影文学，2011（11）：27-48.
李桂梅.中西家庭伦理比较研究[M.]湖南大学出版社，2008， 65.
李林. 美国家庭[M]. 英语知识出版社， 2004（2）
史凤仪.中国古代婚姻与家庭[M.]河北人民出版社，1987.
王恩铭.当代美国社会与文化[M].上海外语教育出版社，2007.年版46.
王玉娟. 中美家庭价值观的跨文化差异对比研究[J]. 2008.