《浮生六记》英译阅读与讨论 (六)

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  本期“《浮生六记》英译阅读与讨论”是最后一部分,将译文里几个特别好的译例放在一起再看一看,体会布莱克的翻译策略和译文的奥妙,会有启发。不妨将这些例句作为经常学习的材料,或做汉英翻译时的参考。
  英国人雪莉·布莱克(Shirley Black)所译《浮生六记》有与众不同之处。她的翻译有明确的指导思想:第一,再现原文微妙的情感氛围;第二,译出汉字的确切意思;第三,尽量感受作者表达自己的方式。
  布莱克超出了语言层面的形式“对应”,她实际是“翻译”加“创作”。所谓“翻译”,指她的翻译以原文内容为依据,这当然是生产译文的基础;所谓“创作”,因为她要把原文“微妙情感氛围”和“汉字的确切意思”译出来,就需摆脱原文句法和行文方式的束缚,因而常有增译,常有变通。在某种程度上可以说,是遵从英语表达习惯和行文方式进行的独立创作。
  讨論过的有以下几个译例:
  译例1:
  【背景】 新婚之夜,沈复(悄然入室,伴妪盹于床下,芸卸妆尚未卧)。
  【原文】 高烧银烛,低垂粉颈,不知观何书而出神若此。
  【译文】 She was sitting, in the light from a pair of tall silver candles, with her delicate white neck bent over a book, so completely absorbed in her reading that she was unaware that I had come into the room. (p. 8)
  译文句子组织得好,以She was sitting起始,引出状语部分,“in the light from a pair of tall silver candles, with her delicate white neck bent over a book”,这个状语经过变通,用自然的英语完美再现了“高烧银烛,低垂粉颈”的情景,创造了一个女子新婚之夜在烛光之下忘情读书的形象,是一个难得的好译句。特别是with her delicate white neck bent over a book,极具美感,值得玩味。
  译例2:
  【背景】七月望,俗谓之鬼节,芸备小酌,拟邀月畅饮。夜忽阴云如晦,芸愀然曰:“妾能与君白头偕老,月轮当出。”
  【原文】余亦索然。但见隔岸萤光,明灭万点,梳织于柳堤蓼渚间。
  【译文】  I, too, felt depressed and apprehensive, looking across the water to the darkness of the opposite shore, where will-o’-the-wisps, shining in the blackness like thousands of tiny, bright lanterns, wove in and out among the tangled willows. (p. 21)
  这是一句写景文字,译文是一个完整的句子,用诗一般的语言创造了一个意境。其中where所引导的从句组织得好,涵盖了原文所有信息,准确无误,文字优美。仔细揣摩,是一个好译句。
  译例3:
  【原文】余与芸联句,以遣闷怀,而两韵之后,逾联逾纵,想入非夷,随口乱道。
  【译文】 To dispel our fears and depression we began composing poetry, one of us starting a verse, the other finishing it; each composing a couplet in turn. Rhyming back and forth, we began to let our imagination run wild; indulging our most foolish fancies until we found ourselves laughing hysterically at the most ridiculous nonsense verses. (p. 21)
  “两韵之后”相当于“联着联着”或“联来联去”,译作 Rhyming back and forth,意思和语气都合适;“逾联逾纵”,“纵”意为不受约束,译作let our imagination run wild;“想入非夷,随口乱道”,译作indulging our most foolish fancies。对照原文,可以看出,译者不仅将汉语词汇的意思准确表达出来,而且夫妻联句时无拘无束、信口成章、不觉沉浸在欢乐中的情景描画得十分生动。译文能产生这样的效果、达到这样的境界,其词语的选择、句子的组织、行文的奥妙,都值得学习借鉴。
  译例4:
  【背景】中秋日,沈复偕妻游沧浪亭:“过石桥,进门折东,曲径而入。叠石成山,林木葱翠,亭在土山之巅。循级至亭心。”
  【原文】周望极目可数里,炊烟四起,晚霞灿然。
  【译文】 From this elevation, as far as the eye could see, the land fell away to the horizon in every direction. Smoke was rising from the cooking fires of the houses far below, curling upward against a background of brilliantly-coloured sunset clouds. (p. 23)
  这是另一个写景句子,“极目”,译作as far as the eye could see,“可数里”,译作the land fell away to the horizon,“炊烟四起,晚霞灿然”译作一个句子,用介词against将两个小句联系起来。一幅描写傍晚田园风光的画面,令人印象深刻。
  总之,布莱克译文有一个明显特点,即,翻译中有创作。内容上不违背原意,形式上不受制于原文,其表达方式和行文风格是英语的。这一点,对我们做汉英翻译很有启发。
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