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I believe it is important to separate good failures from bad failures. Good failures happen when, even though you made the correct decision, you still lost. Bad failures happen because you made bad decisions, or worse still, didn’t make a decision at all. Although the two feel the same, they have a completely different long-term impact.
I’m a novice poker player. One of the first things I learned was that there were good wins and bad wins. Good wins were because you had a sound strategy of betting where the odds were in your favor. Bad wins happened when you just got lucky. Going all-in on a 2-7 off-suit might win the hand. But it doesn’t mean you’re a good poker player.
Good Failures
Mentally separating good failures from bad failures takes work. Poker is a simple game where the laws of probability are cleanly defined. Real life is a lot messier. It takes more effort to decide which failures were because of a bad decision and which were just the unintended side-effects of the best choice available.
Although it can be difficult to separate the two, there are benefits in making two piles instead of just one. By separating the two types of failures, it is easier to persevere through good failures. It may hurt to have your Business proposal shut down for the fifteenth time, but it isn’t necessarily a bad failure.
By separating the two, you can also avoid more bad failures. If you fail because of laziness, indecision or poor planning, you can quickly correct those in the future. Knowing the difference between good and bad failures keeps you from repeating stupid mistakes.
Types of Good Failures
I’ve found that there are several categories of good failures. These are the kinds of failures you might actually seek out. Since they come from good, not bad, decisions, they are the best way to fail.
1. High Upside, Low Downside
There are many areas of life where the upside is far greater than the downside. When I write an article, it takes about 90 minutes of work. If nobody comments or responds to that post, then I’ve just wasted 90 minutes.
However, if the article becomes popular, it can bring in thousands of visitors to my website. Those thousands of visitors become new readers who can get value from the website. In addition, the extra traffic often results in a higher monthly income for me.
Writing blog entries is an example where failure is cheap and winning can be huge. I’d gladly take a dozen or two dozen failures for a big hit. A post that doesn’t get attention is a good failure.
2. Breaking Through Your Limits
The only way you can know your limits are to go past them. Occasionally I’ve committed myself to more work than I can handle. The result is stress and, in extreme cases, complete burnout. Doing more than you can handle on a regular basis is a recipe for a nervous breakdown.
However, if you don’t test those limits and occasionally go past them, you can never improve. You’ll always go slightly below your capacity, never reaching your possible potential. I don’t enjoy an exhausting schedule, but occasionally facing one ensures my productivity muscles stay strong.
3. Embarrassment and Smart Risk-Taking
There are some situations where failures and successes can’t be separated. There is no action that will guarantee you only get success. In these cases, it can be useful to ignore the losses since the wins will make up for it.
Public Speaking is a great example. Any chance you get to speak in public runs you the risk of embarrassment. You might say something stupid. The audience might not like your speech. But if you don’t face those failures, it’s impossible to deliver a fantastic speech.
4. Staying Inside Your Comfort Zone
The only way to have a bad failure is to stay put. If you are constantly experimenting and pushing beyond your daily routine, any result is a good result. Avoiding the things that scare you doesn’t make you safe, it makes you weaker.
Over a year ago I took dance classes. For a self-proclaimed geek, this was definitely a step outside my comfort zone. I loved the class. Even though it was outside of my comfort zone, I had a great time and learned something valuable. This wasn’t a failure. It’s better to discourage laziness than to occasionally stumble.
5. Taking on Too Big a Challenge
More than a few times I’ve set goals that were nearly impossible to accomplish. I didn’t have enough time to reach the deadline and I had no idea what I was doing. Although setting extremely difficult challenges results in a lot of failures, it keeps you sharp.
The ideal challenge level is where success is possible, but only if you work incredibly hard. Unfortunately, finding this sweet spot means you’ll end up making some goals too hard and others too easy. If you never fail at a big challenge it probably means most of your goals have been set too easy.
Just as there are good and bad failures, there are good and bad wins. I’d rather have a good failure than a bad win. A bad win might feel nice in the short term, but it is damaging over the big picture.
Do you have a personal example of a good failure? Please share it in the comments below.
我认为将好的失败同不好的失败区别开来是非常重要的。好的失败是即使你做出了正确的决定,但还是失败了。不好的失败是由于你做出了错误的决定,或者更糟糕的是你根本没有作出任何决定。尽管这两种失败给人同样的感觉,但它们对人的长期影响是截然不同的。
玩扑克牌,我是个新手。我玩牌学会的第一件事情便是赢牌也有好坏之分。牌赢得好是因为出牌出得好,胜算几率大。牌赢得坏只是因为手气好,一次拿到2-7的顺手牌可能小赢一把,但这并不意味着你是玩扑克牌的高手。
好的失败
从思想上将好的失败与坏的失败加以区分是要费气力的。扑克牌是一种简单的游戏,其胜负规则泾渭分明。然而真实生活却要复杂得多,须付出更多的努力才能分清这两个问题:哪些失败是由于错误的决定所致,哪些失败只是因为选择很好但没想到其负面影响所致。
尽管区别二者可能有点困难,但是区别较之不区别益处甚多。将二者加以区别,能使人更容易在经历好的失败之后仍不放弃。如果你的商业提议遭人拒绝15次可能对你伤害很大,但这并非是坏的失败。
区别二者也能避免更多坏的失败。如果失败是因为懒惰、犹豫不决或是糟糕的计划所致,你就能在将来很快改掉这些毛病。只要知道好坏失败二者的区别,你就不会再犯同样愚蠢的错误。
好的失败的种类
我发现好的失败有几种,它们可能是你实际上找到的那几种。它们既然是好的而不是坏的决定所致,因此便是失败的最佳方式。
1. 人生的沉浮
生活中的许多时候是人生得意远远多于失意。譬如我写一篇文章花了大约九十分钟,邮寄出去没有任何评论或反映,那我就浪费了九十分钟的时间。
然而,如果这篇文章非常受人欢迎,能将千万读者带入我的网站。这些读者又将这篇文章介绍给其他读者,让他们也受益于这个网站。此外,额外的外出演讲常使我的月收入大大增加。
写博客词条就是一例,说明了失败的付出少,而成功的回报多。我很乐意经历十几次甚至是几十次的失败而获得一次大的成功。因此,邮寄出去的文章无人问津便是一次好的失败。
2. 超越自我
了解自己极限的唯一方式就是超越自我。偶尔,我会让自己做很多事情,多得超出了自己的能力所及。结果是压力很大,在极端的情形下完全让人筋疲力尽。但常常做自己力所不及的事情却是消除紧张心理的秘方。
然而,如果不验证自己的极限并偶尔有所超越,就永远不会有所提高。你会总是局限在自己能力的小范围内,永远都无法挖掘自己的潜力。我不喜欢让人筋疲力尽的计划,但偶尔有一次却可保证自己的创造力经久不衰。
3. 尴尬的局面与理智的冒险
有些情况是无法将失败与成功分开的。没有任何行为能够确保你只会成功而不会失败。在这些情况下,不在意失败会有好处,因为成功会予以补偿。
在公共场合演讲就是个极好的例子。任何公共场合的演讲都可能让你碰上尴尬的局面,你可能会说一些蠢话,听众可能不喜欢你的演讲。但是你如果没有过这些失败,就很难作出一场出色的演讲。
4. 呆在自己舒适的空间
坏的失败的唯一方式是固步自封。如果你总是不断实验,超越每日的平凡事务,任何结果都是好的。回避自己畏惧的事并不能给你安全感,相反会让你变得更加软弱。
一年前,我参加了舞蹈班学习。作为自称网虫的我,这绝对是跨出自己舒适空间的一步。尽管我已离开了自己的舒适空间,但我却过得非常愉快,学到了有价值的东西。这就不是失败。阻止惰性要比偶尔跌倒要好。
5. 迎接巨大的挑战
许多次我定下的目标几乎无法达到,因为没有足够的时间在截止日期前完成工作,我不知道该怎么办。虽然接受极其困难的挑战会导致许多失败,但能让你保持头脑敏捷。
理想的挑战蕴涵着可能的成功,但这只有通过令人无法想象的努力才能实现。不幸的是,找到这一令人高兴的支点意味着你会最终定下过难或过易的目标。如果你从没因为一次大的挑战而失败,这可能意味着你设定的大部分目标都过于容易。
正如失败有好坏之分,成功也有优劣之别。我宁愿经历好的失败而非坏的成功。一次坏的成功会让人在短期内感觉良好,但它会慢慢毁掉我们美好的蓝图。
你有过一次美好失败的个人经历吗?请在下面的评论中和我们一起分享吧。
I’m a novice poker player. One of the first things I learned was that there were good wins and bad wins. Good wins were because you had a sound strategy of betting where the odds were in your favor. Bad wins happened when you just got lucky. Going all-in on a 2-7 off-suit might win the hand. But it doesn’t mean you’re a good poker player.
Good Failures
Mentally separating good failures from bad failures takes work. Poker is a simple game where the laws of probability are cleanly defined. Real life is a lot messier. It takes more effort to decide which failures were because of a bad decision and which were just the unintended side-effects of the best choice available.
Although it can be difficult to separate the two, there are benefits in making two piles instead of just one. By separating the two types of failures, it is easier to persevere through good failures. It may hurt to have your Business proposal shut down for the fifteenth time, but it isn’t necessarily a bad failure.
By separating the two, you can also avoid more bad failures. If you fail because of laziness, indecision or poor planning, you can quickly correct those in the future. Knowing the difference between good and bad failures keeps you from repeating stupid mistakes.
Types of Good Failures
I’ve found that there are several categories of good failures. These are the kinds of failures you might actually seek out. Since they come from good, not bad, decisions, they are the best way to fail.
1. High Upside, Low Downside
There are many areas of life where the upside is far greater than the downside. When I write an article, it takes about 90 minutes of work. If nobody comments or responds to that post, then I’ve just wasted 90 minutes.
However, if the article becomes popular, it can bring in thousands of visitors to my website. Those thousands of visitors become new readers who can get value from the website. In addition, the extra traffic often results in a higher monthly income for me.
Writing blog entries is an example where failure is cheap and winning can be huge. I’d gladly take a dozen or two dozen failures for a big hit. A post that doesn’t get attention is a good failure.
2. Breaking Through Your Limits
The only way you can know your limits are to go past them. Occasionally I’ve committed myself to more work than I can handle. The result is stress and, in extreme cases, complete burnout. Doing more than you can handle on a regular basis is a recipe for a nervous breakdown.
However, if you don’t test those limits and occasionally go past them, you can never improve. You’ll always go slightly below your capacity, never reaching your possible potential. I don’t enjoy an exhausting schedule, but occasionally facing one ensures my productivity muscles stay strong.
3. Embarrassment and Smart Risk-Taking
There are some situations where failures and successes can’t be separated. There is no action that will guarantee you only get success. In these cases, it can be useful to ignore the losses since the wins will make up for it.
Public Speaking is a great example. Any chance you get to speak in public runs you the risk of embarrassment. You might say something stupid. The audience might not like your speech. But if you don’t face those failures, it’s impossible to deliver a fantastic speech.
4. Staying Inside Your Comfort Zone
The only way to have a bad failure is to stay put. If you are constantly experimenting and pushing beyond your daily routine, any result is a good result. Avoiding the things that scare you doesn’t make you safe, it makes you weaker.
Over a year ago I took dance classes. For a self-proclaimed geek, this was definitely a step outside my comfort zone. I loved the class. Even though it was outside of my comfort zone, I had a great time and learned something valuable. This wasn’t a failure. It’s better to discourage laziness than to occasionally stumble.
5. Taking on Too Big a Challenge
More than a few times I’ve set goals that were nearly impossible to accomplish. I didn’t have enough time to reach the deadline and I had no idea what I was doing. Although setting extremely difficult challenges results in a lot of failures, it keeps you sharp.
The ideal challenge level is where success is possible, but only if you work incredibly hard. Unfortunately, finding this sweet spot means you’ll end up making some goals too hard and others too easy. If you never fail at a big challenge it probably means most of your goals have been set too easy.
Just as there are good and bad failures, there are good and bad wins. I’d rather have a good failure than a bad win. A bad win might feel nice in the short term, but it is damaging over the big picture.
Do you have a personal example of a good failure? Please share it in the comments below.
我认为将好的失败同不好的失败区别开来是非常重要的。好的失败是即使你做出了正确的决定,但还是失败了。不好的失败是由于你做出了错误的决定,或者更糟糕的是你根本没有作出任何决定。尽管这两种失败给人同样的感觉,但它们对人的长期影响是截然不同的。
玩扑克牌,我是个新手。我玩牌学会的第一件事情便是赢牌也有好坏之分。牌赢得好是因为出牌出得好,胜算几率大。牌赢得坏只是因为手气好,一次拿到2-7的顺手牌可能小赢一把,但这并不意味着你是玩扑克牌的高手。
好的失败
从思想上将好的失败与坏的失败加以区分是要费气力的。扑克牌是一种简单的游戏,其胜负规则泾渭分明。然而真实生活却要复杂得多,须付出更多的努力才能分清这两个问题:哪些失败是由于错误的决定所致,哪些失败只是因为选择很好但没想到其负面影响所致。
尽管区别二者可能有点困难,但是区别较之不区别益处甚多。将二者加以区别,能使人更容易在经历好的失败之后仍不放弃。如果你的商业提议遭人拒绝15次可能对你伤害很大,但这并非是坏的失败。
区别二者也能避免更多坏的失败。如果失败是因为懒惰、犹豫不决或是糟糕的计划所致,你就能在将来很快改掉这些毛病。只要知道好坏失败二者的区别,你就不会再犯同样愚蠢的错误。
好的失败的种类
我发现好的失败有几种,它们可能是你实际上找到的那几种。它们既然是好的而不是坏的决定所致,因此便是失败的最佳方式。
1. 人生的沉浮
生活中的许多时候是人生得意远远多于失意。譬如我写一篇文章花了大约九十分钟,邮寄出去没有任何评论或反映,那我就浪费了九十分钟的时间。
然而,如果这篇文章非常受人欢迎,能将千万读者带入我的网站。这些读者又将这篇文章介绍给其他读者,让他们也受益于这个网站。此外,额外的外出演讲常使我的月收入大大增加。
写博客词条就是一例,说明了失败的付出少,而成功的回报多。我很乐意经历十几次甚至是几十次的失败而获得一次大的成功。因此,邮寄出去的文章无人问津便是一次好的失败。
2. 超越自我
了解自己极限的唯一方式就是超越自我。偶尔,我会让自己做很多事情,多得超出了自己的能力所及。结果是压力很大,在极端的情形下完全让人筋疲力尽。但常常做自己力所不及的事情却是消除紧张心理的秘方。
然而,如果不验证自己的极限并偶尔有所超越,就永远不会有所提高。你会总是局限在自己能力的小范围内,永远都无法挖掘自己的潜力。我不喜欢让人筋疲力尽的计划,但偶尔有一次却可保证自己的创造力经久不衰。
3. 尴尬的局面与理智的冒险
有些情况是无法将失败与成功分开的。没有任何行为能够确保你只会成功而不会失败。在这些情况下,不在意失败会有好处,因为成功会予以补偿。
在公共场合演讲就是个极好的例子。任何公共场合的演讲都可能让你碰上尴尬的局面,你可能会说一些蠢话,听众可能不喜欢你的演讲。但是你如果没有过这些失败,就很难作出一场出色的演讲。
4. 呆在自己舒适的空间
坏的失败的唯一方式是固步自封。如果你总是不断实验,超越每日的平凡事务,任何结果都是好的。回避自己畏惧的事并不能给你安全感,相反会让你变得更加软弱。
一年前,我参加了舞蹈班学习。作为自称网虫的我,这绝对是跨出自己舒适空间的一步。尽管我已离开了自己的舒适空间,但我却过得非常愉快,学到了有价值的东西。这就不是失败。阻止惰性要比偶尔跌倒要好。
5. 迎接巨大的挑战
许多次我定下的目标几乎无法达到,因为没有足够的时间在截止日期前完成工作,我不知道该怎么办。虽然接受极其困难的挑战会导致许多失败,但能让你保持头脑敏捷。
理想的挑战蕴涵着可能的成功,但这只有通过令人无法想象的努力才能实现。不幸的是,找到这一令人高兴的支点意味着你会最终定下过难或过易的目标。如果你从没因为一次大的挑战而失败,这可能意味着你设定的大部分目标都过于容易。
正如失败有好坏之分,成功也有优劣之别。我宁愿经历好的失败而非坏的成功。一次坏的成功会让人在短期内感觉良好,但它会慢慢毁掉我们美好的蓝图。
你有过一次美好失败的个人经历吗?请在下面的评论中和我们一起分享吧。