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1972年2月,念建筑系的第二年,我发觉自己越来越少去上课。这和我失去我的美丽模特儿,继而陷入孤独的忧伤有多大关系?有时我根本不离开我们希克塔斯的公寓,待在家中看一整天书。有时我带一本厚书(《着魔者》《战争与和平》《布登勃洛克一家》)在课堂上读。“黑玫瑰”消失后,我的画画乐趣持续减退。在画布或纸上作画,挥洒油彩的时候,我不再有快乐的感觉,不再感觉到小时候那种胜利的情绪。画面一开始是一种快乐的孩童游戏,如今不知何故,我慢慢丢失了此种欢乐,不知将被什么东西取而代之,使我被不安的浓雾所吞没。离开画画而生存,
In February 1972, the second year of my studies in architecture, I found myself getting fewer and fewer classes. How much does it matter to lose my beautiful model and then to my lonely sadness? Sometimes I do not leave our apartment in Chichester at all, and stay home for a whole book. Sometimes I bring a thick book (“The Demons” “War and Peace” “Budenbrock”) in class. After the disappearance of “Black Rose”, my drawing pleasure continued to diminish. When painting or painting on the canvas or paper, I no longer feel happy, no longer feeling the kind of triumph when I was young. The beginning of the picture is a happy kid’s game, now somehow, I slowly lost this joy, I do not know what will be replaced by something, so that I was engulfed in uneasy fog. Leave painting to survive,