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每个人都有做梦的权利。年少的时候，遇到不顺心的事情，总对自己说，会好的，一切都会好的，然后就兀自投入到一场梦幻之中，想象未来的自己如何满身光华，不可一世。长大了，做梦的时间少了，人也现实了，但心里某一处总是对年少那些似真似幻的美梦执着不休，所以我们幻想脚上踩着的布鞋是玻璃鞋，身上穿的棉布裙是公主裙，还有那么一天会坐上南瓜车，过上“永远幸福的日子”。有人说，如果生命中没有了梦境，那将会是多么的荒凉与凄楚。我同意，但是，如果铁定了心为追求那双“玻璃鞋”而罔顾一切，那就是我们错了。
——Mac
When it comes to raising girls, today’s moms have plenty to worry about: self-image, depression, 1)eating disorders, and, of course, a culture that teaches women that their worth is as much about their beauty as it is about their smarts. Peggy Orenstein knows this all too well: she’s written about girls for years as a critic for The New York Times, and her 1994 book Schoolgirls: Young Women, Self Esteem, and the Confidence Gap was a bestseller. All of which is why, when Orenstein got pregnant, she kept to herself a dirty secret. “I was terrified at the thought of having a daughter,” she writes. “I was supposed to be an expert on girls’ behavior. What if, after all that, I wasn’t up to the challenge myself? What if I couldn’t raise the ideal daughter?”
In her new book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter, Orenstein documents her struggle to do just that: raise a daughter who is happy and self-confident amid a world that encourages little girls to 2)engulf their rooms in pink 3)chiffon and 4)rhinestone5)tiaras. Yes, she’s talking about the princess6)complex—the little-girl love affair that starts with Cinderella and ends with sheets and toothbrushes and cups and tiaras and home 7)décor and 8)pint-size wedding gowns and 9)myriad other products. And the 10)ultra-feminine messages that come along with it.
This princess 11)mania, many argue, leaves girls all mixed up: while they excel in school and12)outpace their male peers in science and math, they also obsess about Prince Charming and who has the prettiest dress, learning—from a mix of mass marketing and media—not that girls are strong, smart, or creative, but that each is a little princess of her own, judged by the beauty of her face (and gown). Just think about the fairy tales themselves: Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White—all13)pitted against evil, ugly old women (read: age= awfulness), waiting for the prince they’ve never met to fall for their beauty (not smarts) and rescue them from misery. In The Little Mermaid, Ariel literally trades in her voice for the chance a man she’s never met will love her in return.
Orenstein’s own daughter didn’t start out princess-obsessed. Daisy marched into her first day of preschool in 14)Berkeley, Calif., in her favorite pinstriped overalls and carrying a 15)Thomas the Tank Engine lunchbox. (Gender-16)neutrality success!) But it would be less than a month before the now-7-year-old would scream as her mother tried to wrestle her into pants, begging for a “real princess dress” with matching plastic high heels. Suddenly, as if on princess 17)steroids, Orenstein began noticing princess mania at every turn: Daisy’s classmates—even one with two mothers—showed up to school in princess outfits. The supermarket checkout woman addressed her daughter with “Hi, Princess.” She found her daughter lying on the floor at a 18)bat mitzvah, surrounded by a group of boys, waiting for her “prince” to come and wake her.
Orenstein knew there was something about this she didn’t like. 19)Frilly dresses? Waiting for Prince Charming? Isn’t that a20)retrograde role model? One would think—but as it turns out, it’s harder than it sounds to find the science to back up that notion. So instead, Orenstein decided to head to the front lines of this girl culture herself—observing the world of 21)gyrating pre-tweens at a 22)Miley Cyrus concert, the 23)powdered pop 24)tarts of the child-25)pageant circuit, an American Girl store, a toy fair, and, last, Disney, whose princess line of merchandise has become the largest 26)franchise on the planet for girls ages 2 to 6. What she learned? “It’s not that princesses can’t expand girls’ imaginations,” Orenstein explains. “But in today’s culture, princess starts to turn into something else. It’s not just being the fairest of them all, it’s being the hottest of them all, the most 27)Paris Hilton of them all, the most 28)Kim Kardashian of them all.” Translation: shallow, 29)narcissistic, 30)slutty.
Much of Orenstein’s territory is well trod (there are only so many times you can hear about 31)toddlers and beauty pageants, or the outrage over sexy 32)Bratz dolls). But the way she sees it, there is one very big thing that separates Daisy’s generation from those who came before her—and it’s called mass marketing. Disney alone has 26,000 Disney princess items on the market today, part of a $4 billion-a-year franchise that is the fastest-growing brand the company has ever created. “What these companies will tell you is that girls want this, so they give it to them,” says Orenstein. But for girls who don’t want to play with pink princess toys, there’s virtually no other option.
And when princesses grow up? Let’s just say that Miley Cyrus isn’t exactly the best role model. There may not be research that looks at the 33)detriments of princess culture specifically, but there is certainly evidence to show that girls are struggling. Studies show young girls today face more pressure than ever to be “perfect” (like a princess?)—not only to get straight A’s and excel academically, but to be beautiful, fashionable, and kind. And the more mainstream media girls consume, the more they worry about being pretty and sexy. One study, from the University of Minnesota, found that just seeing advertisements from one to three minutes can have a negative impact on girls’ self-esteem.
Orenstein is the first to admit she’s not a perfect parent. But her advice to others is to pride yourself on saying no. “People have said to me, ‘Don’t you feel like you’re 34)brainwashing your daughter because you’re not giving her the choice of what she consumes?’ ” Orenstein says. “But there’s not really a choice. Disney isn’t giving you a choice.” Being a princess may seem simple. But raising one takes a whole lot of brains.
说到养育女儿，现在的母亲要担忧的事情可多了：女儿的自我形象、抑郁症、饮食失调，当然还少不了现今的文化给她们灌输的价值观——女人的价值体现在美貌与智慧并重。派吉·奥伦斯坦对此颇有认识：作为一名评论家，多年来她一直为《纽约时报》撰写关于年轻女性的文章，而她1994年出版的著作《女学生：年轻女性，自尊心，以及信心的缺失》曾一度畅销。这就是为什么当奥伦斯坦怀孕时，她内心暗藏着一个不可告人的秘密。“我当时很怕自己会生女儿，”她写道，“我是研究女孩行为的专家。但是如果到头来我自己都无法应付这一挑战呢？如果我无法培育出理想的女儿呢？”
在她的新作《灰姑娘“吞噬”了我的女儿》中，奥伦斯坦记录了她如何竭力应对这一挑战：现今的世界鼓励小女孩沉溺在粉红纱裙和人造钻石皇冠的世界中，而在这样的文化氛围里她要把女儿培育成一个快乐和自信的小女孩。是的，她说的就是公主情结——小女孩一开始沉迷于灰姑娘的故事，最终连床单、牙刷和杯子都要与公主相关，皇冠、相衬的室内装饰、小一号的婚纱皆不可少，还有其他各种各样的公主衍生品。同时，这一切也隐晦地鼓励着女孩子塑造矫揉造作的女性气质。
许多人认为，这种公主狂热症使女孩认识混乱：她们在学校的表现非常优秀，而且科学和数学的成绩要比男同学好，但是她们沉迷于白马王子的童话，互相攀比，看谁的裙子最漂亮，而且她们从大众营销和传媒中学到的，不是女孩子应该自强、睿智或者有创造力，而是她们每个人都是小公主，自身的价值由脸蛋（和衣裙）决定。认真回想一下这些童话故事：灰姑娘、睡美人、白雪公主——全都与邪恶丑陋的老女人（解读：年老等于可怕）为敌，等待着素未谋面的王子为她们的美色（而非智慧）所倾倒，并把她们从悲惨生活中拯救出来。在童话《海的女儿》中，美人鱼爱丽儿以自己的声音作为交换，来获得一个让那位陌生王子爱上自己的机会。
奥伦斯坦的女儿黛西一开始是没有公主情结的。第一天踏进加州伯克利市的幼儿园时，她穿着自己最喜爱的条纹工人裤，带着托马斯火车头的午餐盒。（中性教育的成功！）但是不到一个月，当妈妈硬是给她穿裤子时，这个现在还不到七岁的小女孩哭着闹着要穿“真正的公主裙”和配衬的塑料高跟鞋。突然，就像自己也中了“公主毒”一样，奥伦斯坦开始时刻留意公主狂潮：黛西的同学们——甚至一对女同性恋的孩子——统统穿着公主装去上学。超级市场结账台的服务员跟她女儿打招呼时会说：“嗨，小公主。”在一次犹太教成人礼上，她看到女儿躺在地板上，周围是一圈儿男孩子，她是在等待着她的“王子”过去唤醒她。
奥伦斯坦知道，这种现象让她甚为反感。穿蓬蓬裙？等待白马王子？岂不是以倒退为典范？可能有人会这样认为——然而事实上，要找到支持这一观点的科学证据却比想象中要难。所以，奥伦斯坦决定亲自上阵，去体验一下这种女孩文化——观察麦莉·赛勒斯音乐会（一场孩子式浓妆艳抹的甜果潮流盛宴）上那些小学生们有多疯狂，再看看美国一家小女孩用品店、一场玩具展，以及迪士尼世界（其公主系列商品已经成为了世界上两岁到六岁小孩子的首选商品）。那么奥伦斯坦从中明白到什么呢？“不是说童话公主不能开拓小女孩的想象力，”她解释说，“不过在当今的文化中，童话公主已经变味。现在公主不仅仅意味着做最漂亮的那个，还要做最火辣的那个，最帕丽斯·希尔顿，最金·卡戴珊。”解读：肤浅、自恋和卖弄风骚。
奥伦斯坦所研究的范围其实一直是热门话题（关于小孩子选美的话题或者对性感贝兹娃娃的不满，你可能已经耳熟能详了）。但是在她看来，女儿黛西这代人与之前各代人之间存在着一个巨大的差异——那就是大众营销。在当今市场上，单是迪斯尼这个品牌的公主商品就有26000种，为迪斯尼高达40亿美元的年收入贡献不少，也是迪斯尼有史以来创建的品牌中增长得最快的。“这些公司会对你说，女孩子想要这些东西，所以他们就提供这些给她们，”奥伦斯坦说。但是对于那些不想玩粉红色公主玩具的女孩子来说，她们实际上没有其他选择。
那么当公主们长大了又如何呢？我们暂且先说麦莉·赛勒斯不算什么好榜样。现在或许没有专门探讨公主文化危害的研究，但有证据表明，女孩儿们为此而痛苦挣扎。有研究显示，现在的年轻女性面临着比以往更大的压力，为了要变得“完美”（像公主一样？）——不但考试科科优秀，学业出众，还要美丽时尚，亲切友善。而且她们与主流媒体接触得越多，就越担心自己不够漂亮和性感。明尼苏达大学的一项调查发现，女孩子仅仅只是花一到三分钟的时间看一些广告，就会对她们的自尊产生消极影响。
奥伦斯坦首先承认自己不是一个完美的家长。但是她对其他人的建议是：为自己能够说“不”而自豪。“不少人对我说过，‘你不觉得你在给你女儿洗脑吗？毕竟你没有给她消费选择的自由。’” 奥伦斯坦说，“但是实际上根本就没有选择。迪斯尼没有给你选择的余地。”做一个公主看似很简单。但是要培养出一个公主那可伤脑筋了。
——Mac
When it comes to raising girls, today’s moms have plenty to worry about: self-image, depression, 1)eating disorders, and, of course, a culture that teaches women that their worth is as much about their beauty as it is about their smarts. Peggy Orenstein knows this all too well: she’s written about girls for years as a critic for The New York Times, and her 1994 book Schoolgirls: Young Women, Self Esteem, and the Confidence Gap was a bestseller. All of which is why, when Orenstein got pregnant, she kept to herself a dirty secret. “I was terrified at the thought of having a daughter,” she writes. “I was supposed to be an expert on girls’ behavior. What if, after all that, I wasn’t up to the challenge myself? What if I couldn’t raise the ideal daughter?”
In her new book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter, Orenstein documents her struggle to do just that: raise a daughter who is happy and self-confident amid a world that encourages little girls to 2)engulf their rooms in pink 3)chiffon and 4)rhinestone5)tiaras. Yes, she’s talking about the princess6)complex—the little-girl love affair that starts with Cinderella and ends with sheets and toothbrushes and cups and tiaras and home 7)décor and 8)pint-size wedding gowns and 9)myriad other products. And the 10)ultra-feminine messages that come along with it.
This princess 11)mania, many argue, leaves girls all mixed up: while they excel in school and12)outpace their male peers in science and math, they also obsess about Prince Charming and who has the prettiest dress, learning—from a mix of mass marketing and media—not that girls are strong, smart, or creative, but that each is a little princess of her own, judged by the beauty of her face (and gown). Just think about the fairy tales themselves: Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White—all13)pitted against evil, ugly old women (read: age= awfulness), waiting for the prince they’ve never met to fall for their beauty (not smarts) and rescue them from misery. In The Little Mermaid, Ariel literally trades in her voice for the chance a man she’s never met will love her in return.
Orenstein’s own daughter didn’t start out princess-obsessed. Daisy marched into her first day of preschool in 14)Berkeley, Calif., in her favorite pinstriped overalls and carrying a 15)Thomas the Tank Engine lunchbox. (Gender-16)neutrality success!) But it would be less than a month before the now-7-year-old would scream as her mother tried to wrestle her into pants, begging for a “real princess dress” with matching plastic high heels. Suddenly, as if on princess 17)steroids, Orenstein began noticing princess mania at every turn: Daisy’s classmates—even one with two mothers—showed up to school in princess outfits. The supermarket checkout woman addressed her daughter with “Hi, Princess.” She found her daughter lying on the floor at a 18)bat mitzvah, surrounded by a group of boys, waiting for her “prince” to come and wake her.
Orenstein knew there was something about this she didn’t like. 19)Frilly dresses? Waiting for Prince Charming? Isn’t that a20)retrograde role model? One would think—but as it turns out, it’s harder than it sounds to find the science to back up that notion. So instead, Orenstein decided to head to the front lines of this girl culture herself—observing the world of 21)gyrating pre-tweens at a 22)Miley Cyrus concert, the 23)powdered pop 24)tarts of the child-25)pageant circuit, an American Girl store, a toy fair, and, last, Disney, whose princess line of merchandise has become the largest 26)franchise on the planet for girls ages 2 to 6. What she learned? “It’s not that princesses can’t expand girls’ imaginations,” Orenstein explains. “But in today’s culture, princess starts to turn into something else. It’s not just being the fairest of them all, it’s being the hottest of them all, the most 27)Paris Hilton of them all, the most 28)Kim Kardashian of them all.” Translation: shallow, 29)narcissistic, 30)slutty.
Much of Orenstein’s territory is well trod (there are only so many times you can hear about 31)toddlers and beauty pageants, or the outrage over sexy 32)Bratz dolls). But the way she sees it, there is one very big thing that separates Daisy’s generation from those who came before her—and it’s called mass marketing. Disney alone has 26,000 Disney princess items on the market today, part of a $4 billion-a-year franchise that is the fastest-growing brand the company has ever created. “What these companies will tell you is that girls want this, so they give it to them,” says Orenstein. But for girls who don’t want to play with pink princess toys, there’s virtually no other option.
And when princesses grow up? Let’s just say that Miley Cyrus isn’t exactly the best role model. There may not be research that looks at the 33)detriments of princess culture specifically, but there is certainly evidence to show that girls are struggling. Studies show young girls today face more pressure than ever to be “perfect” (like a princess?)—not only to get straight A’s and excel academically, but to be beautiful, fashionable, and kind. And the more mainstream media girls consume, the more they worry about being pretty and sexy. One study, from the University of Minnesota, found that just seeing advertisements from one to three minutes can have a negative impact on girls’ self-esteem.
Orenstein is the first to admit she’s not a perfect parent. But her advice to others is to pride yourself on saying no. “People have said to me, ‘Don’t you feel like you’re 34)brainwashing your daughter because you’re not giving her the choice of what she consumes?’ ” Orenstein says. “But there’s not really a choice. Disney isn’t giving you a choice.” Being a princess may seem simple. But raising one takes a whole lot of brains.
说到养育女儿，现在的母亲要担忧的事情可多了：女儿的自我形象、抑郁症、饮食失调，当然还少不了现今的文化给她们灌输的价值观——女人的价值体现在美貌与智慧并重。派吉·奥伦斯坦对此颇有认识：作为一名评论家，多年来她一直为《纽约时报》撰写关于年轻女性的文章，而她1994年出版的著作《女学生：年轻女性，自尊心，以及信心的缺失》曾一度畅销。这就是为什么当奥伦斯坦怀孕时，她内心暗藏着一个不可告人的秘密。“我当时很怕自己会生女儿，”她写道，“我是研究女孩行为的专家。但是如果到头来我自己都无法应付这一挑战呢？如果我无法培育出理想的女儿呢？”
在她的新作《灰姑娘“吞噬”了我的女儿》中，奥伦斯坦记录了她如何竭力应对这一挑战：现今的世界鼓励小女孩沉溺在粉红纱裙和人造钻石皇冠的世界中，而在这样的文化氛围里她要把女儿培育成一个快乐和自信的小女孩。是的，她说的就是公主情结——小女孩一开始沉迷于灰姑娘的故事，最终连床单、牙刷和杯子都要与公主相关，皇冠、相衬的室内装饰、小一号的婚纱皆不可少，还有其他各种各样的公主衍生品。同时，这一切也隐晦地鼓励着女孩子塑造矫揉造作的女性气质。
许多人认为，这种公主狂热症使女孩认识混乱：她们在学校的表现非常优秀，而且科学和数学的成绩要比男同学好，但是她们沉迷于白马王子的童话，互相攀比，看谁的裙子最漂亮，而且她们从大众营销和传媒中学到的，不是女孩子应该自强、睿智或者有创造力，而是她们每个人都是小公主，自身的价值由脸蛋（和衣裙）决定。认真回想一下这些童话故事：灰姑娘、睡美人、白雪公主——全都与邪恶丑陋的老女人（解读：年老等于可怕）为敌，等待着素未谋面的王子为她们的美色（而非智慧）所倾倒，并把她们从悲惨生活中拯救出来。在童话《海的女儿》中，美人鱼爱丽儿以自己的声音作为交换，来获得一个让那位陌生王子爱上自己的机会。
奥伦斯坦的女儿黛西一开始是没有公主情结的。第一天踏进加州伯克利市的幼儿园时，她穿着自己最喜爱的条纹工人裤，带着托马斯火车头的午餐盒。（中性教育的成功！）但是不到一个月，当妈妈硬是给她穿裤子时，这个现在还不到七岁的小女孩哭着闹着要穿“真正的公主裙”和配衬的塑料高跟鞋。突然，就像自己也中了“公主毒”一样，奥伦斯坦开始时刻留意公主狂潮：黛西的同学们——甚至一对女同性恋的孩子——统统穿着公主装去上学。超级市场结账台的服务员跟她女儿打招呼时会说：“嗨，小公主。”在一次犹太教成人礼上，她看到女儿躺在地板上，周围是一圈儿男孩子，她是在等待着她的“王子”过去唤醒她。
奥伦斯坦知道，这种现象让她甚为反感。穿蓬蓬裙？等待白马王子？岂不是以倒退为典范？可能有人会这样认为——然而事实上，要找到支持这一观点的科学证据却比想象中要难。所以，奥伦斯坦决定亲自上阵，去体验一下这种女孩文化——观察麦莉·赛勒斯音乐会（一场孩子式浓妆艳抹的甜果潮流盛宴）上那些小学生们有多疯狂，再看看美国一家小女孩用品店、一场玩具展，以及迪士尼世界（其公主系列商品已经成为了世界上两岁到六岁小孩子的首选商品）。那么奥伦斯坦从中明白到什么呢？“不是说童话公主不能开拓小女孩的想象力，”她解释说，“不过在当今的文化中，童话公主已经变味。现在公主不仅仅意味着做最漂亮的那个，还要做最火辣的那个，最帕丽斯·希尔顿，最金·卡戴珊。”解读：肤浅、自恋和卖弄风骚。
奥伦斯坦所研究的范围其实一直是热门话题（关于小孩子选美的话题或者对性感贝兹娃娃的不满，你可能已经耳熟能详了）。但是在她看来，女儿黛西这代人与之前各代人之间存在着一个巨大的差异——那就是大众营销。在当今市场上，单是迪斯尼这个品牌的公主商品就有26000种，为迪斯尼高达40亿美元的年收入贡献不少，也是迪斯尼有史以来创建的品牌中增长得最快的。“这些公司会对你说，女孩子想要这些东西，所以他们就提供这些给她们，”奥伦斯坦说。但是对于那些不想玩粉红色公主玩具的女孩子来说，她们实际上没有其他选择。
那么当公主们长大了又如何呢？我们暂且先说麦莉·赛勒斯不算什么好榜样。现在或许没有专门探讨公主文化危害的研究，但有证据表明，女孩儿们为此而痛苦挣扎。有研究显示，现在的年轻女性面临着比以往更大的压力，为了要变得“完美”（像公主一样？）——不但考试科科优秀，学业出众，还要美丽时尚，亲切友善。而且她们与主流媒体接触得越多，就越担心自己不够漂亮和性感。明尼苏达大学的一项调查发现，女孩子仅仅只是花一到三分钟的时间看一些广告，就会对她们的自尊产生消极影响。
奥伦斯坦首先承认自己不是一个完美的家长。但是她对其他人的建议是：为自己能够说“不”而自豪。“不少人对我说过，‘你不觉得你在给你女儿洗脑吗？毕竟你没有给她消费选择的自由。’” 奥伦斯坦说，“但是实际上根本就没有选择。迪斯尼没有给你选择的余地。”做一个公主看似很简单。但是要培养出一个公主那可伤脑筋了。