寻找达西先生

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  Jane是一位再平凡不过的姑娘,然而她深深地沉迷于英国女作家JaneAusten的小说之中,对于她笔下的Mr.Darcy更是迷恋得无法自拔,在Jane的心目中,Mr.Darcy就是她日后择偶的唯一标杆。
  然而,正由于怀抱着这样不切实际的可笑幻想,Jane在感情世界里处处碰壁遍体鳞伤。一次偶然的机会,Jane参加了“奥斯汀庄园”的度假行程,并渴望从中找寻幻想已久的爱情,她能找到自己的Mr.Darcy吗?
  Jane在死党Molly的陪同下到旅行社咨询“奥斯汀庄园”的度假行程并深深被吸引住了,她觉得这可能是人生中的一次重大转变,想要将全部积蓄投入这次价格不菲的行程,但是Molly却给她泼了冷水。
  Mrs. Wattlesbrook: (on TV ads) A true 1)aficionado of Austen does so much more than merely read her novels and admire her world from 2)afar. She finds her way here to the world’s only immersive Austen experience.
  Molly: Is that a 3)Chihuahua?
  Jane: It’s a 4)lamb. Shut up. Just trying to hear it.
  Molly: This looks really cheap.
  Man: I’ve toured the grounds and it’s not cheap. This is high class. This is 5)big time.
  Molly: Jane, are you really gonna blow your entire life savings on an “Austen experience?”
  Man: Now, hold on just a second. Here at Sensuous Travel, we are not just another run-of-the-mill vacation place. This is what call an “LC.” A Life-Changer. You get to play the 6)heroine of your very own Jane Austen story. Would you like to see some of the staff?
  Jane: Yeah.
  Molly: No.
  Man: Now this is Barnaby. He’s a 7)vegan. He enjoys nightly dips in the 8)pond, and he has a 9)pony named Sparkles Pancake.
  Molly: That is 10)horrendous.
  Man: Look, every stay at Austenland ends with a real live ball, as in ballroom, as in happily ever after. Do you understand what I’m saying?
  Jane: Totally.
  Molly: Jane. So you go on some 11)fancy vacation, then what do you come home to? Nothing except for an empty bank account. Why don’t you save up for a real life-changer?
  Jane: Like what?
  Molly: Well, like…
  Man: That’s fine. Maybe come back another time without your friend.
  瓦特布鲁太太:(电视广告上)真正的奥斯汀迷会采取更多行动,不是只阅读她的小说,从远处欣赏她所在的世界,而是会排除万难来到这里,沉浸在只有奥斯汀的世界。莫莉:那是吉娃娃吗?
  简:是小羊。别说话,安静听。
  莫莉:这看起来很俗。
  男人:我去过那里,并不俗。这是高级行程,一流的。
  莫莉:简,你真的打算把毕生积蓄花在这个“奥斯汀体验”上吗?
  男人:等等,我们美乐旅行社不是做普通的度假旅行,而是所谓的人生转变。你能扮演简·奥斯汀故事里的角色。你想看看那儿其中的一些员工吗?
  简:好。
  莫莉:不想。
  男人:这是巴纳比,他是素食者,喜欢夜泳,有匹小马叫闪亮松饼。莫莉:那太可怕了。
  男人:听着,奥斯汀庄园的最后一晚会举行一场真正的舞会,在舞会厅里,从此幸福快乐。你明白我的意思吗?
  简:完全明白。
  莫莉:简,那么你参加了高级度假行程,回来后剩下什么?什么都没有,除了没钱的银行账户。为什么不把钱省下来做真正能转变人生的事呢?
  简:比如说什么?
  莫莉:呃,比如……
  男人:没关系,也许下次你可以一个人过来。
  Jane只身来到英国,在机场碰到同为美国人的Miss Charming,两人在庄园的安排下乘车前往。庄园的主人Mrs. Wattlesbrook正在向她们介绍庄园的情况及需要遵守的规矩。   Mrs. Wattlesbrook: Complete immersion in the 12)Regency era is the only way to truly appreciate Austen’s England. Wouldn’t you say so, Miss Charming?
  Miss Charming: 13)Righto!
  Mrs. Wattlesbrook: Just to avoid any confusion, I’d like you to know that we do offer several distinct experiences. You have paid for the Basic Copper package, while the other ladies in the party are part of the Platinum Elite package.
  Jane: Oh, okay, that’s…
  Mrs. Wattlesbrook: I’m sure you’ll understand there will be some exclusions to your trip.
  Jane: I mean, I’m just so excited to be here, and I’ve dreamed about this for so long.
  Mrs. Wattlesbrook: All of my guests
  will experience romance with one
  of our actors. But I must emphasize
  there is to be no touching other
  than the necessary social graces.
  Miss Charming: Not a chance.
  Mrs. Wattlesbrook: I also expect all
  my guests to maintain appropriate
  manners and conversation and to
  14)eschew all things modern. Any 15)flagrant 16)disobedience will result in the early 17)termination of your stay.
  Jane: You don’t have to worry about me. I know Austen’s books 18)intimately.
  瓦特布鲁太太:完全沉浸在摄政时代是唯一能够真正欣赏奥斯汀(笔下)的英格兰的方法。你说对吗,查明小姐?
  查明小姐:对极了!
  瓦特布鲁太太:为了避免引起困惑,我希望你们知道,我们提供几个不同的体验套餐。你参加的是基本套装行程,参团的其他女士报名的是白金精英套装行程。
  简:哦,好的,那……
  瓦特布鲁太太:我相信你会明白有些行程是你不能参加的。
  简:我想说,我很期待来到这里,我梦想这一刻很久了。
  瓦特布鲁太太:所有客人都会和一位男演员体验浪漫恋情。但我必须强调不能有肢体接触,除了必要的社交礼仪。
  查明小姐:怎么可能。
  瓦特布鲁太太:我也希望所有客人能保持优雅举止和谈吐,避开所有现代的东西。公然违反会造成你的行程提前结束。
  简:你不必担心我,我对奥斯汀的书倒背如流。
  在庄园里的第一顿晚餐,Jane便与其中的一位“男演员”Henry意见相左,引起了激烈的讨论。
  Miss Charming: Jane.
  Jane: Yeah?
  Miss Charming: Why don’t you try out some of that fancy talk?
  Jane: Mr. Nobley, I hear there is a ball on our last night. Do you enjoy dancing?
  Henry: Not particularly.
  Amelia: 19)Scandalous. I am sure you have 20)escorted many a fine lady on to the dance floor.
  Colonel Andrews: I would say that manners 21)maketh man.
  Henry: I look forward to having the pleasure of standing opposite you.
  Colonel Andrews: But dancing…
  Amelia: You do?
  Colonel Andrews: …is the true 22)hallmark of a 23)gentilhomme 24)d’honneur.
  Henry: Traditionally, dancing is a match-making custom.
  Colonel Andrews: Oh yes.
  Henry: However, it fails unless both
  partners are equally fond of each other.   Jane: You could say the same about any social 25)intercourse. Such as talking to someone or having dinner with them.
  Henry: Society demands that we engage in a social intercourse in order to see 26)courteous. Yet, in most cases, such actions are ultimately 27)vulgar.
  Miss Charming: I really adore conversating.
  Jane: Do you really believe, Mr. Nobley,
  that you can know the worth of a person at a glance?
  Henry: Can you tell me that within the first few moments of meeting each person in this room, you didn’t form firm opinions of their character?
  Jane: Well, it would be a shame if my first impression of you proved correct.
  查明小姐:简。
  简:什么事?
  查明小姐:不如你说些有深度的话?
  简:诺波利先生,我听说我们在这儿的最后一晚将会有舞会。你喜欢跳舞吗?亨利:不太喜欢。
  艾米利亚:我早有耳闻。我相信你陪很多千金小姐跳过舞吧。
  安卓思上校:我想说风度造就一个男人。
  亨利:我期待有这个荣幸请你跳舞。
  安卓思上校:但跳舞……
  艾米利亚:真的吗?
  安卓思上校:……是绅士尊严的表现。亨利:传统来说,跳舞是相亲的习俗。安卓思上校:哦,是的。
  亨利:然而,要两人情投意合才行。
  简:你可以说任何社交也是一样。像是和别人聊天或吃饭。
  亨利:社会要求我们参与社交,才能表现礼仪。但大部分情况,这种活动都很粗俗。
  查明小姐:我很喜欢聊天。简:诺波利先生,你真的相信你能一眼就看出一个人的价值?
  亨利:你能告诉我,见到这个房里的每个人的前几分钟里,你对他们的性格没有先入为主的想法吗?
  简:如果我对你的第一印象是对的,那就太可惜了。
  由于不能参加行程中的部分项目,Jane在闲逛中被一阵现代音乐吸引过去。她认识了庄园的仆人Martin。Martin向她道出庄园里的男士们都很会演戏,而自己却纯属是一名员工,并且表露了对Jane的好感。Jane逐渐对眼前这位毫不掩饰的Martin产生爱意。
  Jane: Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you if you’re in the middle of something or…
  Martin: You are a little lost?
  Jane: No. I was just walking around, and then I heard music and so…
  Martin: Quick. Get in before Wattlesbrook 28)confiscates this things. Let’s hope you’re not her spy.
  Jane: Mrs. Wattlesbrook?
  Martin: Yeah. She made me sign half a dozen proper behavior agreement.
  Jane: Right.
  Martin: Just swear to keep any modern 29)contraption out of sight of the guests.
  Jane: Alright.
  Martin: Including you, Miss Erstwhile.
  Jane: Oh, I’m not a spy, I swear. And you don’t have to call me Miss Erstwhile. It’s
  Jane.
  Martin: Martin. I am so sorry about this afternoon.
  Jane: No, no, no. Don’t be. Don’t be worry about it. I would have been absolutely fine if it weren’t for Prince Valiant showing up.
  Martin: The actors are paid to be valiant.
  Jane: Right.
  Martin: They have some “Most Valiant Player of the Month”award.
  Jane: Still, it’s nice to have a little break from them.
  简:哦,抱歉,我不是故意要打扰你的,如果你在忙或是……   马丁:你迷路了吗?
  简:没有。我只是在附近散步,然后听到音乐声就……
  马丁:快进来,免得瓦特布鲁没收了这玩意。希望你不是她的间谍。
  简:你是说瓦特布鲁太太吗?
  马丁:是啊。她逼我签了一大堆谨言慎行的协议。
  简:好吧。
  马丁:发誓不能让客人看见任何现代新玩意。
  简:好吧。
  马丁:包括你,厄斯特华小姐。
  简:哦,我不是间谍,我发誓。你不必叫我厄斯特华小姐,叫我简就好了。
  马丁:我是马丁。今天下午的事很抱歉。(译者注:Martin说要替Jane换匹马离开,突然天降大雨,Martin未及时赶回,后来Henry出现接回了Jane。)简:不,不,不。不必感到抱歉,没什么大不了的。如果英勇王子没出现的话,我也不会有事的。
  马丁:演员们拿钱假扮英勇。
  简:对啊。
  马丁:他们还有“本月最佳英勇演员”奖。
  简:但是他们暂时不在身边,感觉还挺不错的。
  在门球场上,Henry和Jane再一次针锋相对。而Jane也因为私藏手机违反庄园的规定面临着被逐出庄园的危机。
  Henry: Perhaps I don’t find the conversation of women to be 30)stimulating.
  Jane: Oh, I just can’t imagine why you’re still single.
  Henry: Don’t see a ring on your finger.
  Captain East: Nobley.
  Jane: No, no, no, it’s all right. I asked for it. I am single because, apparently, the only good men are 31)fictional.
  Captain East & Colonel Andrews: 32)Touche.
  Henry: Oh and you think that there’s any good women out there? No, no, no. They 33)profess honesty and 34)fidelity, and while you’re away lecturing in Switzerland, they run off to Brazil with your mate!
  Miss Charming: Get on with the game, you old 35)windbag! Captain East: Someone departing?
  Jane: That’s my 36)trunk.
  Mrs. Wattlesbrook: I have discovered an 37)unmentionable amongst your things. (shows the mobile) Now I believe I made it perfectly clear about the rules, Miss Erstwhile. We thank you for your stay, but I regret that your actions have forced me to cut it short.
  Jane: What?
  Mrs. Wattlesbrook: First, that 38)horrid little song and now this. Jane: You’re really gonna kick me out?
  Mrs. Wattlesbrook: I’m afraid it is time for you to leave.
  Jane: Go get ’em, Charming.
  Miss Charming: I’m so sorry, Jane.
  Mrs. Wattlesbrook: If you would be so kind as to step on to the cart.
  Amelia: Mrs. Wattlesbrook. Please, wait. This is all my fault. The modern contraption is mine. I did not realize I had it until I first arrived. And I was so distressed. Miss Erstwhile kindly offered to keep it for me, where I would not have to look upon the 39)eyesore…
  Mrs. Wattlesbrook: Oh, well. I see, so, apparently this appears to be an accident. And I think the best thing is we should pretent like it never happened.
  亨利:可能我觉得和女人聊天不令人振奋。
  简:哦,难怪你还是孤家寡人。
  亨利:也没看到你手上戴着戒指。
  伊斯特船长:诺波利。
  简:不,不,不,没关系。我自找的。我单身是因为唯一的好男人都是虚构的。   伊斯特船长和安卓思上校:讲得好。
  亨利:你觉得世上有好女人吗?不,不,没有。她们自称诚实忠贞,可当你离开,到瑞士教书,她们就和你的朋友私奔到巴西!
  查明小姐:快打球,你这个老长舌!
  伊斯特船长:有人不按剧本演出?
  简:那是我的行李箱。
  瓦特布鲁太太:我在你的行李中发现了难以启齿的东西。(拿出手机)我相信我已经把规矩说得很清楚了,厄斯特华小姐。感谢你的参与,但你的行为,让我不得不请你提早离开。
  简:什么?
  瓦特布鲁太太:先是不堪入耳的歌,现在又是这个。
  简:你真的要赶我走?
  瓦特布鲁太太:恐怕你是时候离开了。
  简:尽情玩吧,查明。
  查明小姐:真遗憾,简。
  瓦特布鲁太太:请你上马车吧。
  艾米利亚:瓦特布鲁太太,请等等。这都怪我。手机是我的。我来到庄园才发现,我很痛苦。厄斯特华小姐好心说要帮我保管,我就不必看着那个碍眼的东西……
  瓦特布鲁太太:哦,是这样。我明白了,这件事原来是误会一场。我想我们最好装作什么事都没发生过。
  Mrs. Wattlesbrook百无聊赖写出一个剧本让大家排练演出,Jane选择Henry作为搭档。两人因此第一次坦诚相待。
  Jane: Okay, since we have to spend so much time rehearsing this thing, let’s just…let’s try not to annoy each other.
  Henry: You don’t annoy me. You make me nervous. So, are you enjoying your stay?
  Jane: Really? We’re making small talk now? Okay, erm, well, the house is amazing, but it’s kind of like a 40)corset. I like the way it looks, but it’s just…
  Henry: Hard to relax in it.
  Jane: Yes, exactly. But there is so much to love here. I mean, the civility.
  Henry: The manners.
  Jane: The 41)grandeur, you know.
  Henry: Simplicity.
  Jane: The men.
  Henry: The women.
  Jane: The paintings. They’re really…
  Henry: Yes, you are an artist.
  Jane: No, no, no. The things is, those aren’t real. They’re just stupid sketches.
  Henry: Who’s that?
  Jane: Exactly. I’m sorry. They’re not all like that.
  Henry: No, no. It’s a…it’s a fair likeness. No apologies needed. It is curious, however, that there are more of me than anyone else.
  Jane: I guess I’ve been trying to figure you out without much luck.
  Henry: Surely you’ve come to some conclusions. Jane: You’re the resident Mr. Darcy. Come on, you’re every girl’s fantasy.
  Henry: So I’m your fantasy?
  Jane: You play your character very well.
  简:好吧,既然我们要花很多时间排练这出剧,我们就……我们尽量别针锋相对。
  亨利:我不觉得你烦人,你让我感到紧张。那么,你喜欢这个庄园?简:真要如此吗?我们现在要寒暄了吗?好吧,呃,嗯,庄园很美,但让人有种被束缚的感觉。我喜欢这种风格,但就是……
  亨利:很难放松。
  简:是的,没错。但这里真叫人喜欢。我是说,礼仪。
  亨利:规矩。
  简:宏伟,你知道的。
  亨利:简单。
  简:男人。
  亨利:女人。
  简:还有画,确实……
  亨利:对了,你是画家。
  简:不,不,不。那些不是真的画,只是随性涂鸦的素描。
  亨利:那个人是谁?
  简:没错,是你。抱歉,也有画得像的。
  亨利:不,不,这……画得很像,不需要道歉。但是我很好奇,我的画像比任何人都多。
  简:我想是因为我一直想认识你,结果都徒劳无功。
  亨利:你一定有结论了吧。
  简:你是这里的达西先生。你是每个女孩的梦中情人。
  亨利:那么我是你的梦中情人?
  简:你把这个角色演得很好。   在结束行程前最后一晚的舞会上,Henry向Jane表白,但Jane想到Henry只是一个演员,所以拒绝了他,投向了Martin的怀抱。但事实却不是她想的那样。
  Mrs. Wattlesbrook: And I trust you discovered rewarding romance with one of the gentlemen?
  Jane: Um, well, actually, there was someone, but not Mr. Nobley, as you may have intended.
  Mrs. Wattlesbrook: Oh my dear, Henry was never meant for you. No, his job was to take care of Lady Heartwright until George East finished his little show. No, Martin was scripted for you right from the very beginning.
  Jane: No, but he is…Martin’s a servant.
  Mrs. Wattlesbrook: Well, you’ve seen my servants. I had to take him out just for a little while because things were steaming up. But I had every confidence that he could woo you back. And your timing was very fortunate. Most of the ladies just get a litter of kittens. The 42)foal is the 43)showstopper.
  Jane: The foal?
  Mrs. Wattlesbrook: I trust you would like to be on your way, Jane?
  Jane: More than ever.
  Mrs. Wattlesbrook: Are you upset?
  Jane: No, not at all. And please don’t take it personally when I shut you down.
  Mrs. Wattlesbrook: Shut me down?
  Jane: I wasn’t the first guest Mr. Wattlesbrook assaulted, was I? I should be able to find other complaints in no time.
  Mrs. Wattlesbrook: But…
  瓦特布鲁太太:我相信你和其中一位绅士找到浪漫恋情了吧?
  简:嗯,呃,其实有一个人,但不是你计划安排的诺波利先生。
  瓦特布鲁太太:哦,天啊,我没有把你和亨利配对。不,他的任务是照顾哈怀特夫人,直到乔治·伊斯特演完他的肥皂剧归来。不,马丁才是一开始就安排好和你配对的男人。
  简:不,但是他是……马丁是仆人。
  瓦特布鲁太太:你又不是没见过我的仆人。我得把他抽出来一会儿,因为事情有点失控。但我很有信心,他能赢回你的芳心。你真的很幸运,大多人女士只会得到一窝小猫,生小马才是最精彩的部分。(译者注:Jane曾见到Martin给小马接生从而对他刮目相看。)
  简:小马?
  瓦特布鲁太太:我相信你想要踏上归途了吧,简?
  简:求之不得。
  瓦特布鲁太太:你生气了吗?
  简:不,一点都没有。当我让你关门大吉的时候,请别对号入座。
  瓦特布鲁太太:关门大吉?
  简:我不是第一个被瓦特布鲁先生毛手毛脚的贵宾吧?我应该能够很快找到其他的投诉。
  瓦特布鲁太太:但是……
  Jane失望地回到美国,生活回归正轨。Henry突然造访,一席真情表露之后,Jane会接受他吗?
  Jane: Do you want some tea?
  Henry: Love a cup, thank you.
  Jane: What are you doing here?
  Henry: Well, you left this.
  Jane: Thanks. You could’ve mailed it.
  Henry: I…I could have. You’re right. What was I thinking?
  Jane: Wait a minute. Hey. You know, I’m not gonna report your aunt. So it was a little 44)overkill to send you all the way here.
  Henry: She didn’t send me.
  Jane: Mr. Nobley, or whoever you actually are. Henry: My name is Henry. It’s Henry Nobley. I’m a history professor.
  Jane: Oh. That’s really nice.   Henry: I used to think my aunt’s profession was somewhat 45)grotesque, but the truth is that I enjoyed stepping into history. The idea of a simpler world where love is 46)straightforward and lasting. I believe we have that in common. But all of this is secondary to the fact that I am completely mad about you.
  Jane: Alright. Well you may have been mad about Miss Erstwhile, but…you don’t even know me. I…
  Henry: You are Miss Erstwhile. I saw you in the 47)theatrical. You are horrifying.
  Jane: Whoa, wait a minute. You were horrifying. I was…I wasn’t great.
  Henry: My point exactly. Neither one of us are capable of pretending.
  Jane: Nobley, I just don’t think this is a…
  Henry: The night of the ball you said you wanted something real. I’d like to believe that I am real. Is it possible that someone like me can make you happy? Will you let me try?
  Jane: No, see, people don’t do this. I mean, this is my fantasy. This isn’t…
  Henry: Have you stopped to consider that you might have this all backward? Jane, you’re my fantasy.
  简:要喝茶吗?
  亨利:好的,谢谢。
  简:你来做什么?
  亨利:你忘了带走这个。
  简:谢谢。你可以寄过来的。
  亨利:我……我可以寄的。你说得对。我在想什么?
  简:等等,嘿。你知道,我不会举报你姑姑的。所以她不必大费周章大老远派你过来。
  亨利:她没派我来。
  简:诺波利先生,或者说,不管你的真名是什么。
  亨利:我叫亨利,亨利·诺波利,我是历史系教授。
  简:哦。那很好。
  亨利:我以前觉得我姑姑的职业很古怪,但其实我很喜欢走进历史。在更单纯的世界里爱情是坦率永恒的。我相信这点我们有共鸣。但这些都比不上我对你的疯狂迷恋。
  简:好吧,也许你迷恋的是厄斯特华小姐,但是……你根本不认识我,我……
  亨利:你是厄斯特华小姐。我看过你演戏的样子,演得很烂。
  简:哇,等一下,是你演得烂吧,我……我演得是不好。
  亨利:这正是我的意思。我们都不会虚情假意。
  简:诺波利,我只是不认为这……
  亨利:舞会那晚你说你想要真心,我相信我对你是真心的。像我这样的人有没有可能带给你幸福?你愿意给我机会吗?
  简:不,看看,人们不会这么做。我是说,这是我的幻想,这不是……
  亨利:请你别再作茧自缚。简,你就是我的幻想。

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