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上初中的时候,我喜欢说一些惊世骇俗的话。我告诉马音我是多么希望成为一个男人,像杜牧一样的男人,在诗词和青楼之间游刃有余。为此我仇视自己的女性身份。马音趴在饭桌上一边抄我作业一边翻我白眼,她说当男人有什么好,怪兮兮的,不知道整天想些什么。再说杜牧和那么多女人乱搞,其实他对谁也不好,是个十恶不赦的大坏蛋,想到他心里就不大舒服,好像打翻了泔脚钵头。她还说,你怎么这么下流。那时我对于下流还没有明确的概念,我觉得杜牧那样不叫下流,他不过是风流倜傥,才华出众,在烟花扬州和云鬓美女之间穿梭自如,
When I was in junior high school, I like to say some shocking words. I told Ma Yin how I would like to be a man, like Du Mu, a man, with ease between poetry and brothel. To this end, I hate myself as a female. Maine lying on the table while copying my homework while turning my eyes, she said when the man what good, weird, do not know what to think about all day long. Besides Du Mu and so many women mess up, in fact, he is not good to anyone, is a heinous bullshit, think of his heart is not very comfortable, as if tipped his feet. She also said how do you do so dirty. At that time, I did not have a clear idea of the downstream. I think Du Mu was not called a dirty man. He was just a handsome and talented person, and was able to shuttle freely between the beautiful fireworks Yangzhou and the beautiful clouds.