《孟子·离娄下》云:“爱人者,人恒爱之;敬人者,人恒敬之。”此话的意思是要人以道德存心,待人衡事。然而,人之间的互敬互爱,可以是发乎自然的情缘,也可以是由智术来造就。《汉书·翟方进传》载:汉代宰相翟方进当年与清河名叫胡常的大儒研习的经书相同,胡常是前辈,名望反而不及翟方进。胡常心中很忌恼,平时言谈中常常贬低翟方进。翟方进知道后,便在胡常大集门徒讲学的那一天,派自己门下的学生前去听讲,并当面向胡常请教经书大义和各种疑难,把胡常的说教记录下来。这样一而再、再而三地过了很久,胡常终于明白是翟方进敬重自己,开始称赞翟方进,两人关系亲密融洽起来。翟方进的做法就如民谚所言的“吃一亏,做一堆”,是靠智术换来的平衡。 “Mencius from Lou” goes: “Love people, people love forever; people who respect, people respect.” The meaning of this remark is to people with moral intentions, treat others as a good thing. However, mutual respect and love between people can be spontaneous natural feelings, it can be created by intellectual art. “Han Zhai Fang Jin Biography” contains: Prime Minister Zhai Fangjin Han Qing Dynasty and then known as the Confucian scholars often studied by Confucianism, Hu Chang is a predecessor, fame but less than Zhai Fang Jin. Very often annoyed heart often heart, usually talk often belittle Zhai Fang Jin. After Zhafang Jinjin learned of it, he sent a group of disciples to teach him that day, sending students under his own door to listen to him and asked Hu Chang for advice on the righteous cause and all kinds of troubles and recorded Hu Chang's preaching. Again and again, after another long period of time, Hu Chang finally understood that Zhai Fangjin respected himself, began to praise Zhai Fangjin, the two relations closely together. Zhai Fangjin approach as the saying goes, “eat a loss, do a bunch of” is by the mentality in exchange for the balance.