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My life has changed a lot in the last few years. I used to be a short girl. I was shorter than any other girl in my class. In order to grow taller, I made a decision to run eight miles every morning and I kept drinking a cup of milk every day. Also, I gave up having junk food to keep fit and healthy.
The biggest change in my life is that now I don’t play computer games any more for a long time. When I was a primary school student, I found it interesting to play computer games. So after my parents went out, I rushed to turn the computer on and played it for several hours until my parents came back home. Not only did I find it bad for my eyes, but also it had an bad influence on my study. As a result, I felt so sleepy that I couldn’t focus on what the teacher was saying in class. Because of this, I failed exams. Then I asked the teacher for help. Thanks to the teacher, I finally caught up with other students. I promised to myself that I wouldn’t spend too much time on computer games to kill my time any longer.
As time went by, I have realized how great the changes are. And I will try my best to be a nicer person in the future.
付振洲老师点评:
1.本文作者从自己身高的改变到对自己影响非常大的一次改变都描写得详细具体,有理有据。先总的写了变化,再详细描写改变的过程,最后还写到自己通过这些变化有了什么样的认识,深化了主题,是一篇非常不错的文章。 2.行文:通过对in order to, also, when, so, as a result, because of, thanks to, as 等词和短语的使用,使行文流畅自然,逻辑性强。3. 语言表达:能比较好地使用初中阶段所学的短语(如used to, make a decision, keep doing, give up doing, rush to do,focus on, thanks to, try one’s best to do sth. go by等) 以及句型结构(比较级 than any other 名词结构表最高级, it做形式宾语, not only...but also...连接句子,宾语从句等)来表达自己的思想。
The biggest change in my life is that now I don’t play computer games any more for a long time. When I was a primary school student, I found it interesting to play computer games. So after my parents went out, I rushed to turn the computer on and played it for several hours until my parents came back home. Not only did I find it bad for my eyes, but also it had an bad influence on my study. As a result, I felt so sleepy that I couldn’t focus on what the teacher was saying in class. Because of this, I failed exams. Then I asked the teacher for help. Thanks to the teacher, I finally caught up with other students. I promised to myself that I wouldn’t spend too much time on computer games to kill my time any longer.
As time went by, I have realized how great the changes are. And I will try my best to be a nicer person in the future.
付振洲老师点评:
1.本文作者从自己身高的改变到对自己影响非常大的一次改变都描写得详细具体,有理有据。先总的写了变化,再详细描写改变的过程,最后还写到自己通过这些变化有了什么样的认识,深化了主题,是一篇非常不错的文章。 2.行文:通过对in order to, also, when, so, as a result, because of, thanks to, as 等词和短语的使用,使行文流畅自然,逻辑性强。3. 语言表达:能比较好地使用初中阶段所学的短语(如used to, make a decision, keep doing, give up doing, rush to do,focus on, thanks to, try one’s best to do sth. go by等) 以及句型结构(比较级 than any other 名词结构表最高级, it做形式宾语, not only...but also...连接句子,宾语从句等)来表达自己的思想。