论文部分内容阅读
举例论证是议论文写作的一个重要方法。有些作文题目要求一定要用自己或别人的经历来举例,如2009年深圳市的调研题(一),2009年广州市的毕业班综合测试题(二),2010年的广州一模以及今年2011的广州一模都是这样的类型。
一、举例论证中存在的问题和解决方法
从这些考试的作文情况来看,同学们在写这类作文时仍存在不少的问题,尤其是在举例子这一部分。一般写例子论证主要会出现两个问题。
问题1:例子不当。
所举例子不能证明要证明的观点,或不够典型,不能完全体现要说明的观点。
请看2011年广州一模一考生的作文:
Honesty plays an important role in friendship. Take my friend Jimmy for example. He was called the King of being late by us when we were in Senior 1. At that time, we always organized some activities on weekends such as going hiking and having a trip to relax and promote the friendship. However, we always had to wait for Jimmy for half an hour and the activities were always delayed. Finally, no one wanted to ask Jimmy to join, which made him sad and disappointed.
分析:这个例子是不妥当的,因为它没有体现观点中的“honesty”的要素,例子侧重的是“punctuality(守时)”这一品质的重要性。
解决方法:(1)首先明确需要举例证明的论点是什么;(2)寻找与论点有共同要素的例子;(3)确定例子;(4)开始动笔写例子。
问题2:例子冗长。
所举例子细节过多,篇幅过长,喧宾夺主。
2010年广州一模要求考生举例说明“Overparenting has negative effects on children.”以下是一考生的作文:
Take my friend Ted as an example. Born in a rich family, he has been looked after well by her parents. He once told us that he was grateful to his parents because of their taking good care of him. However, he said that was also the reason why he felt upset and unhappy. As a result, though he is 18 years old, he still doesn’t know how to cook or do any simple housework, which makes him terribly dependent on others.
分析:这个例子还算较好,因为“Born in a rich family, he has been looked after well by her parents.”体现了“overparenting”;“ though he is 18 years old, he still doesn’t know how to cook or do any simple housework”体现了“ negative effects”。但He once told us... that he felt upset and unhappy属无关细节。
解决方法:(1)对能突出中心论点的部分可用一定笔墨进行渲染。如上述第二句后可以增加No matter what he wants or no matter where he wants to go, his parents try to cater to/for his needs. (2)与论点无关或关系不大的细节要删去。如He once told us that he was grateful to his parents because of their taking good care of him. However, he said that was also the reason why he felt upset and unhappy.就可以删除不要。
二、例子和论点之间的连接方式
在表明论点后,举例之前,常用以下句子来连接:
1. Take sb. for example以某人为例
2. One of the best examples is that of sb. 最好的例子是某人……
3. The example of sb. best supports the view 某人的例子最好地支持了这个观点
4. ... serve as a typical example 作为一个典型的例子
5. ... can be taken as an example ... ……可以作为一个例子
6. ... gave us an example that ...给我们举了一个例子
7. A good case in point is that...……就是一个很好的例子
8. I had an unforgettable experience...From the experience I realize that... 我有一次难忘的经历……从这次经历中,我意识到……
9. The story reminds me of my experience of ... 这个故事让我想起了我的一次经历
10. I also had a similar experience, from which I learn that... 我也有一次类似的经历,从这次经历中我学会了……
三、实战演练
1. 以下是Helen Keller(海伦·凯勒)的故事要点:Helen Keller was deaf and blind before she learned to speak. With the help of her teacher, Anne Sullivan, Helen learnt to write, read, and speak. She finally became a writer and lecturer, also an inspiration to all.
请以此论证以下三个不同的论点:
论点一:努力是成功的重要因素。
论点二:面对困难与挑战,自信非常重要。
论点三:没有别人的帮助就不可能成功。
2. 阅读下面的短文,然后根据要求写一篇150词左右的英语短文。
In his speech addressed to the students of Tsinghua University on Nov.16, 2005, California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger told them of his early experience as a weightlifter.
“... Now, I remember the first real workout(训练) I had. Eight miles away from my home village in Austria there was a gymnasium, and I rode there on a bicycle and trained for half an hour, because they said that after half an hour you should stop otherwise, you body would get really sore(疼痛). But after half an hour I looked at my body, and nothing had happened. So I said, ‘I’d better work out for another half an hour.’So I lifted some more. My strength didn’t improve; I didn’t see the muscles pop out or anything like that, so I trained for another half an hour. Then I left the gym and rode home. But after the first mile, I got numb (麻木;失去知觉)—— I couldn’t feel the handle of the bicycle anymore —— and I fell off the bike. I got up and tried it again. After another few yards, I fell off again. And I tried it three or four more times and couldn’t ride my bicycle because my body was so numb and my legs felt like noodles.
The next morning when I got up, my body was so sore that I couldn’t even lift my arms to comb my hair. But I learn a very important lesson —— that pain means progress. Pain is progress. Each time my muscles were sore from a workout, I knew that they were growing and that they were getting stronger...”
[写作内容]
1. 以约30个词概括以上短文的主要内容;
2. 然后以约120个词以“Things that bring us pain make us grow”为题写一篇短文,内容包括:
(1)阿诺施瓦辛格的经历给我们的启示;
(2)以你或他人的经历说明痛苦促进我们成长。
参考范文
1.
论点一:Efforts are the most important thing to help you achieve success. Take Helen Keller for example. Helen Keller was born deaf and blind before she learned to speak. She had little real understanding of the world around her. Nevertheless, she made every effort to learn to speak and write. With a great deal of persistence, she finally became a writer and lecturer, who also became an inspiration to all.
论点二:In the face of difficulties and challenges, possessing self-confidence is of great significance. One of the best examples is that of Helen Keller. Helen Keller was born deaf and blind before she learned to speak. She had little real understanding of the world around her, certainly nothing to give her self-confidence. Nevertheless, she believed she could conquer all the difficulties. With this faith, she finally became a writer and lecturer, also an inspiration to all.
论点三:One can not succeed without others’ help. The example of Helen Keller best supports the view. Helen Keller was born deaf and blind before she learned to speak. She had little real understanding of the world around her. Fortunately, she met a good teacher, Anne Sullivan, and the teacher did her utmost to help Helen. With her teacher’s help, she could speak normally and finally became a writer and lecturer.
2.
Arnold Schwarzenegger described his first training as a weightlifter and drew the conclusion that it is through pain that we strengthen ourselves and make progress.
What a tough man he is! From his story, we know that we shouldn’t be afraid of pain and that things that bring us pain make us grow. If he hadn’t exercised more than usual and had given up, his muscle would not have grown so strong.
It is pain that helps us grow. One of my experiences in senior high school is a case in point. I entered my name for the 3,000-metre race in the sports meet and started training for it. After running just 800 meters I had difficulty breathing but I kept on, managing to adjust my breath. Gradually I could run with ease. The next day, my legs were so sore that I once thought of giving up. However, thinking of my teacher and classmates’expectations, I picked up my courage and went on training. As a result, I took the first place in therace and was highly praised by the school. (开头点明观点型)
Many an example shows that we shouldn’t be afraid of painful experiences which will help us grow stronger both physically and mentally.
另一例子:
His experience reminds me of the time when I first learnt to ride a bicycle as a child. My mother stood aside regardless of my calling for help. I fell off the bicycle again and again and felt really hurt as my arms were wounded. Though painful, I tried once again and eventually managed to ride the bike well. If I hadn’t put up with the pain, I wouldn’t have been able to ride a bike at that time. It is pain that helped me succeed. (结尾点明观点型)
(作者单位:佛山市南海区南海中学)
责任编校蒋小青
一、举例论证中存在的问题和解决方法
从这些考试的作文情况来看,同学们在写这类作文时仍存在不少的问题,尤其是在举例子这一部分。一般写例子论证主要会出现两个问题。
问题1:例子不当。
所举例子不能证明要证明的观点,或不够典型,不能完全体现要说明的观点。
请看2011年广州一模一考生的作文:
Honesty plays an important role in friendship. Take my friend Jimmy for example. He was called the King of being late by us when we were in Senior 1. At that time, we always organized some activities on weekends such as going hiking and having a trip to relax and promote the friendship. However, we always had to wait for Jimmy for half an hour and the activities were always delayed. Finally, no one wanted to ask Jimmy to join, which made him sad and disappointed.
分析:这个例子是不妥当的,因为它没有体现观点中的“honesty”的要素,例子侧重的是“punctuality(守时)”这一品质的重要性。
解决方法:(1)首先明确需要举例证明的论点是什么;(2)寻找与论点有共同要素的例子;(3)确定例子;(4)开始动笔写例子。
问题2:例子冗长。
所举例子细节过多,篇幅过长,喧宾夺主。
2010年广州一模要求考生举例说明“Overparenting has negative effects on children.”以下是一考生的作文:
Take my friend Ted as an example. Born in a rich family, he has been looked after well by her parents. He once told us that he was grateful to his parents because of their taking good care of him. However, he said that was also the reason why he felt upset and unhappy. As a result, though he is 18 years old, he still doesn’t know how to cook or do any simple housework, which makes him terribly dependent on others.
分析:这个例子还算较好,因为“Born in a rich family, he has been looked after well by her parents.”体现了“overparenting”;“ though he is 18 years old, he still doesn’t know how to cook or do any simple housework”体现了“ negative effects”。但He once told us... that he felt upset and unhappy属无关细节。
解决方法:(1)对能突出中心论点的部分可用一定笔墨进行渲染。如上述第二句后可以增加No matter what he wants or no matter where he wants to go, his parents try to cater to/for his needs. (2)与论点无关或关系不大的细节要删去。如He once told us that he was grateful to his parents because of their taking good care of him. However, he said that was also the reason why he felt upset and unhappy.就可以删除不要。
二、例子和论点之间的连接方式
在表明论点后,举例之前,常用以下句子来连接:
1. Take sb. for example以某人为例
2. One of the best examples is that of sb. 最好的例子是某人……
3. The example of sb. best supports the view 某人的例子最好地支持了这个观点
4. ... serve as a typical example 作为一个典型的例子
5. ... can be taken as an example ... ……可以作为一个例子
6. ... gave us an example that ...给我们举了一个例子
7. A good case in point is that...……就是一个很好的例子
8. I had an unforgettable experience...From the experience I realize that... 我有一次难忘的经历……从这次经历中,我意识到……
9. The story reminds me of my experience of ... 这个故事让我想起了我的一次经历
10. I also had a similar experience, from which I learn that... 我也有一次类似的经历,从这次经历中我学会了……
三、实战演练
1. 以下是Helen Keller(海伦·凯勒)的故事要点:Helen Keller was deaf and blind before she learned to speak. With the help of her teacher, Anne Sullivan, Helen learnt to write, read, and speak. She finally became a writer and lecturer, also an inspiration to all.
请以此论证以下三个不同的论点:
论点一:努力是成功的重要因素。
论点二:面对困难与挑战,自信非常重要。
论点三:没有别人的帮助就不可能成功。
2. 阅读下面的短文,然后根据要求写一篇150词左右的英语短文。
In his speech addressed to the students of Tsinghua University on Nov.16, 2005, California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger told them of his early experience as a weightlifter.
“... Now, I remember the first real workout(训练) I had. Eight miles away from my home village in Austria there was a gymnasium, and I rode there on a bicycle and trained for half an hour, because they said that after half an hour you should stop otherwise, you body would get really sore(疼痛). But after half an hour I looked at my body, and nothing had happened. So I said, ‘I’d better work out for another half an hour.’So I lifted some more. My strength didn’t improve; I didn’t see the muscles pop out or anything like that, so I trained for another half an hour. Then I left the gym and rode home. But after the first mile, I got numb (麻木;失去知觉)—— I couldn’t feel the handle of the bicycle anymore —— and I fell off the bike. I got up and tried it again. After another few yards, I fell off again. And I tried it three or four more times and couldn’t ride my bicycle because my body was so numb and my legs felt like noodles.
The next morning when I got up, my body was so sore that I couldn’t even lift my arms to comb my hair. But I learn a very important lesson —— that pain means progress. Pain is progress. Each time my muscles were sore from a workout, I knew that they were growing and that they were getting stronger...”
[写作内容]
1. 以约30个词概括以上短文的主要内容;
2. 然后以约120个词以“Things that bring us pain make us grow”为题写一篇短文,内容包括:
(1)阿诺施瓦辛格的经历给我们的启示;
(2)以你或他人的经历说明痛苦促进我们成长。
参考范文
1.
论点一:Efforts are the most important thing to help you achieve success. Take Helen Keller for example. Helen Keller was born deaf and blind before she learned to speak. She had little real understanding of the world around her. Nevertheless, she made every effort to learn to speak and write. With a great deal of persistence, she finally became a writer and lecturer, who also became an inspiration to all.
论点二:In the face of difficulties and challenges, possessing self-confidence is of great significance. One of the best examples is that of Helen Keller. Helen Keller was born deaf and blind before she learned to speak. She had little real understanding of the world around her, certainly nothing to give her self-confidence. Nevertheless, she believed she could conquer all the difficulties. With this faith, she finally became a writer and lecturer, also an inspiration to all.
论点三:One can not succeed without others’ help. The example of Helen Keller best supports the view. Helen Keller was born deaf and blind before she learned to speak. She had little real understanding of the world around her. Fortunately, she met a good teacher, Anne Sullivan, and the teacher did her utmost to help Helen. With her teacher’s help, she could speak normally and finally became a writer and lecturer.
2.
Arnold Schwarzenegger described his first training as a weightlifter and drew the conclusion that it is through pain that we strengthen ourselves and make progress.
What a tough man he is! From his story, we know that we shouldn’t be afraid of pain and that things that bring us pain make us grow. If he hadn’t exercised more than usual and had given up, his muscle would not have grown so strong.
It is pain that helps us grow. One of my experiences in senior high school is a case in point. I entered my name for the 3,000-metre race in the sports meet and started training for it. After running just 800 meters I had difficulty breathing but I kept on, managing to adjust my breath. Gradually I could run with ease. The next day, my legs were so sore that I once thought of giving up. However, thinking of my teacher and classmates’expectations, I picked up my courage and went on training. As a result, I took the first place in therace and was highly praised by the school. (开头点明观点型)
Many an example shows that we shouldn’t be afraid of painful experiences which will help us grow stronger both physically and mentally.
另一例子:
His experience reminds me of the time when I first learnt to ride a bicycle as a child. My mother stood aside regardless of my calling for help. I fell off the bicycle again and again and felt really hurt as my arms were wounded. Though painful, I tried once again and eventually managed to ride the bike well. If I hadn’t put up with the pain, I wouldn’t have been able to ride a bike at that time. It is pain that helped me succeed. (结尾点明观点型)
(作者单位:佛山市南海区南海中学)
责任编校蒋小青