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Be your gender what it may, you will certainly have heard the following from a female friend who is 1)enumerating the charms of a new (male)
2)squeeze: “He’s really quite cute, and he’s kind to my friends, and he knows all kinds of stuff, and he’s so funny…” However, there is something that you absolutely never hear from a male friend who is hymning his latest (female) love interest: “She’s a real honey, has a life of her own…and, man, does she ever make ‘em laugh.”
Now, why is this? Why is it the case? I mean. Why are women, who 3)have the whole male world at their mercy, not funny? Please do not pretend not to know what I am talking about.
All right—try it the other way. Why are men, taken on average and as a whole, funnier than women? Well, for one thing, they had damn well better be. The chief task in life that a man has to perform is that of impressing the opposite sex, and Mother Nature (as we laughingly call her) is not so kind to men. In fact, she equips many fellows with very little armament for the struggle. An average man has just one,
4)outside chance: he had better be able to make the lady laugh. Making them laugh has been one of the crucial 5)preoccupations of my life. If you can sti-mulate her to laughter—I am talking about that real, out-loud, head-back, mouth-open-to-expose-the-full-6)horseshoe-of-lovely-teeth, involuntary, full, and deep-throated 7)mirth; the kind that is accompanied by a shocked surprise and a slight 8)peal of delight—well, then, you have at least caused her to loosen up and to change her expression. I shall not elaborate further.
Women have no corresponding need to appeal to men in this way. They already appeal to men, if you 9)catch my drift.
This is not to say that women are humorless, or cannot make great wits and comedians. And if they did not operate on the humor wavelength, there would be scant point in half killing oneself in the attempt to make them 10)writhe and scream 11)uproariously. Wit, after all, is the 12)unfailing symptom of intelligence. Men will laugh at almost anything, often precisely because it is—or they are—extremely stupid. Women aren’t like that. And the wits and comics among them are formidable beyond compare:13)Dorothy Parker, 14)Fran Lebowitz, 15)Ellen DeGeneres. Greatly daring—or so I thought—I resolved to call up Ms. Lebowitz to try out my theories. Fran responded: “The cultural values are male; for a woman to say a man is funny is the equivalent of a man saying that a woman is pretty. Also, humor is largely aggressive and 16)preemptive, and what’s more male than that?”
Precisely because humor is a sign of intelligence and many women believe, or were taught by their mothers, that they become threatening to men if they appear too bright, it could be that in some way men do not want women to be funny.
Humor, if we are to be serious about it, arises from the 17)ineluctable fact that we are all born into a losing struggle. Those who risk agony and death to bring children into this 18)fiasco simply can’t afford to be too 19)frivolous. And there just aren’t that many 20)episiotomy jokes, even in the male 21)repertoire. I am certain that this is also partly why, in all cultures, it is females who are the 22)rank-and-file 23)mainstay of religion, which in turn is the official enemy of all humor.
24)Oscar Wilde was the only person ever to make a decent joke about the death of an infant, and that infant was fictional, and Wilde was (although twice a father) a queer. And because fear is the mother of superstition, and because they are partly ruled in any case by the moon and the tides, women also fall more heavily for dreams, for supposedly significant dates like birthdays and anniversaries, for romantic love, crystals and stones, 25)lockets and relics, and other things that men know are fit mainly for mockery and 26)limericks. 27)Good grief! Is there anything less funny than hearing a woman relate a dream she’s just had?
For men, it is a tragedy that the two things they prize the most—women and humor—should be so
28)antithetical. But without tragedy there could be no comedy. My beloved said to me, when I told her I was going to have to address this melancholy topic, that I should cheer up because “women get funnier as they get older.”
Observation suggests to me that this might indeed be true, but, excuse me, isn’t that rather a long time to have to wait?
不管你是男性或女性，你肯定听过一个女性朋友这样细数她一位新（男性）密友的优点：“他真的很有意思，对我的朋友都很友善，他无所不知，还有，他是如此的风趣……”然而，你肯定不曾听过一个男性朋友对他的新欢（女性）这样赞不绝口：“她实在讨人喜欢，有她自己的生活……还有，天啊，她真的能让人开怀大笑。”
那么，怎么会这样？我想说的是，事情为什么是这样？女性能让全世界的男性倾倒在她们的石榴裙下，但她们却为什么如此缺乏幽默感？请不要假装听不懂我说的话。
好吧，换另外的一个说法。为什么男性，平均或整体来说要比女性幽默呢？当然，一方面，他们最好比女性幽默，肯定的。男性一生中最主要的使命就是吸引异性的注意，自然之母（我们开玩笑地这样称呼她）对男性并不存有多少怜悯之心。事实上，在这场两性的较量中，大部分的男人几乎得不到她的恩赐，占据不了任何先天的优势。一个平凡的男子所拥有的只有一个微乎其微的机会：他最好能让他心爱的女人开怀大笑。令女性笑逐颜开一直以来都是我生命中的一个至关重要的当务之急。如果你能逗得她发笑——我说的是那种真正的笑，笑出声来的笑，笑得头往后仰，嘴巴张大得露出两排人见人爱的牙齿的那种笑，那种自然流露、淋漓尽致，而且笑声响亮的欢笑；笑声中还夹着心头一震的惊喜和一丝鸣钟般的愉悦——嗯，笑过之后，你至少让她放松下来，并改变了她的表情。我的阐释已经详尽得不能更详尽了。
然而反过来，女性却并没有相应的取悦男性的必要。她们本身对男性就存有吸引力，如果你懂我的意思的话。
这并不意味着女性毫无幽默细胞，或者她们不能成为风趣的人和喜剧演员。如果她们接收不到幽默的波段，一个人就算使出九牛二虎之力以图让她们笑翻天最终也只是徒然。毕竟，风趣，从来都是才智的征兆。男性几乎会嘲笑所有事物，准确地说，是嘲笑那（些）傻兮兮的事物。而女性却不然。女性当中的风趣之人和有喜剧天分者都是很令人敬佩的，如多萝西•帕克，弗兰•拉波维兹，艾伦•德杰尼勒斯。我肯定是吃了豹子胆了——我确是这么想的，我竟敢向拉波维兹女士提出让她来考证一下我的理论。弗兰予我的回应是：“文化价值是男性主导的；因为一个女性说某个男人风趣幽默就跟一个男人评价一个女人漂亮是一样的。而且，幽默一般说来是富有侵略性的，而且是强制性的，男性不就是这样的吗？”
准确地说，由于幽默是智慧的一种表现方式，很多女性深信，又或者是听从了她们的母亲那一套说法而认为，女性如果风头太过的话就会给男性带来胁迫感，那么在一定程度上，或许男性也不愿意看到女性谈笑风生。
如果要严肃地讨论这个话题的话，幽默，是源自一个无法避免的事实——我们生来就是要经历这场有输无赢的竞争。那些冒着剧痛和难产而死的危险将后代带进这场恶战的女人们，做不出轻佻的姿态。而且即使在男人常备的搞笑段子里，也不大有将生儿育女拿来开涮的。我深信，这可以部分地解释为什么在所有的文化里，总是女性成为宗教的主要信徒——因为宗教是公然与幽默为敌的。
奥斯卡•王尔德是唯一一个以婴孩之死开过玩笑却没有玩出火的人，但那个婴儿是虚构的人物，王尔德又是一个同性恋者（尽管他是两个孩子的父亲）。因为恐惧乃迷信之母，再者，无论如何，女性在一定程度上是由月亮和潮汐主宰的，所以她们更加沉溺于梦想，沉迷于那些她们认为很重要的日子如生日和纪念日，那些浪漫的爱情，水晶和宝石，纪念品盒和遗物，以及男人们觉得只配付以嘲笑和调侃的其他一些玩意。呜呼哀哉！还有什么事比倾听一个女人讲述她刚做的梦更不可笑的？
对男性来说，他们最珍视的两样东西——女人和幽默——竟然是相抵相冲的，这是何等的悲剧。但是，没有悲剧就不可能有喜剧。当我对爱人说我要就这个令人忧郁的话题发表见解时，她告诉我应该乐观点，因为“女人会随着年纪的增长而越来越幽默的”。
据我的观察，这可能确实是真的，但是，很抱歉，那岂不是要等上很久才能等到那一天？
2)squeeze: “He’s really quite cute, and he’s kind to my friends, and he knows all kinds of stuff, and he’s so funny…” However, there is something that you absolutely never hear from a male friend who is hymning his latest (female) love interest: “She’s a real honey, has a life of her own…and, man, does she ever make ‘em laugh.”
Now, why is this? Why is it the case? I mean. Why are women, who 3)have the whole male world at their mercy, not funny? Please do not pretend not to know what I am talking about.
All right—try it the other way. Why are men, taken on average and as a whole, funnier than women? Well, for one thing, they had damn well better be. The chief task in life that a man has to perform is that of impressing the opposite sex, and Mother Nature (as we laughingly call her) is not so kind to men. In fact, she equips many fellows with very little armament for the struggle. An average man has just one,
4)outside chance: he had better be able to make the lady laugh. Making them laugh has been one of the crucial 5)preoccupations of my life. If you can sti-mulate her to laughter—I am talking about that real, out-loud, head-back, mouth-open-to-expose-the-full-6)horseshoe-of-lovely-teeth, involuntary, full, and deep-throated 7)mirth; the kind that is accompanied by a shocked surprise and a slight 8)peal of delight—well, then, you have at least caused her to loosen up and to change her expression. I shall not elaborate further.
Women have no corresponding need to appeal to men in this way. They already appeal to men, if you 9)catch my drift.
This is not to say that women are humorless, or cannot make great wits and comedians. And if they did not operate on the humor wavelength, there would be scant point in half killing oneself in the attempt to make them 10)writhe and scream 11)uproariously. Wit, after all, is the 12)unfailing symptom of intelligence. Men will laugh at almost anything, often precisely because it is—or they are—extremely stupid. Women aren’t like that. And the wits and comics among them are formidable beyond compare:13)Dorothy Parker, 14)Fran Lebowitz, 15)Ellen DeGeneres. Greatly daring—or so I thought—I resolved to call up Ms. Lebowitz to try out my theories. Fran responded: “The cultural values are male; for a woman to say a man is funny is the equivalent of a man saying that a woman is pretty. Also, humor is largely aggressive and 16)preemptive, and what’s more male than that?”
Precisely because humor is a sign of intelligence and many women believe, or were taught by their mothers, that they become threatening to men if they appear too bright, it could be that in some way men do not want women to be funny.
Humor, if we are to be serious about it, arises from the 17)ineluctable fact that we are all born into a losing struggle. Those who risk agony and death to bring children into this 18)fiasco simply can’t afford to be too 19)frivolous. And there just aren’t that many 20)episiotomy jokes, even in the male 21)repertoire. I am certain that this is also partly why, in all cultures, it is females who are the 22)rank-and-file 23)mainstay of religion, which in turn is the official enemy of all humor.
24)Oscar Wilde was the only person ever to make a decent joke about the death of an infant, and that infant was fictional, and Wilde was (although twice a father) a queer. And because fear is the mother of superstition, and because they are partly ruled in any case by the moon and the tides, women also fall more heavily for dreams, for supposedly significant dates like birthdays and anniversaries, for romantic love, crystals and stones, 25)lockets and relics, and other things that men know are fit mainly for mockery and 26)limericks. 27)Good grief! Is there anything less funny than hearing a woman relate a dream she’s just had?
For men, it is a tragedy that the two things they prize the most—women and humor—should be so
28)antithetical. But without tragedy there could be no comedy. My beloved said to me, when I told her I was going to have to address this melancholy topic, that I should cheer up because “women get funnier as they get older.”
Observation suggests to me that this might indeed be true, but, excuse me, isn’t that rather a long time to have to wait?
不管你是男性或女性，你肯定听过一个女性朋友这样细数她一位新（男性）密友的优点：“他真的很有意思，对我的朋友都很友善，他无所不知，还有，他是如此的风趣……”然而，你肯定不曾听过一个男性朋友对他的新欢（女性）这样赞不绝口：“她实在讨人喜欢，有她自己的生活……还有，天啊，她真的能让人开怀大笑。”
那么，怎么会这样？我想说的是，事情为什么是这样？女性能让全世界的男性倾倒在她们的石榴裙下，但她们却为什么如此缺乏幽默感？请不要假装听不懂我说的话。
好吧，换另外的一个说法。为什么男性，平均或整体来说要比女性幽默呢？当然，一方面，他们最好比女性幽默，肯定的。男性一生中最主要的使命就是吸引异性的注意，自然之母（我们开玩笑地这样称呼她）对男性并不存有多少怜悯之心。事实上，在这场两性的较量中，大部分的男人几乎得不到她的恩赐，占据不了任何先天的优势。一个平凡的男子所拥有的只有一个微乎其微的机会：他最好能让他心爱的女人开怀大笑。令女性笑逐颜开一直以来都是我生命中的一个至关重要的当务之急。如果你能逗得她发笑——我说的是那种真正的笑，笑出声来的笑，笑得头往后仰，嘴巴张大得露出两排人见人爱的牙齿的那种笑，那种自然流露、淋漓尽致，而且笑声响亮的欢笑；笑声中还夹着心头一震的惊喜和一丝鸣钟般的愉悦——嗯，笑过之后，你至少让她放松下来，并改变了她的表情。我的阐释已经详尽得不能更详尽了。
然而反过来，女性却并没有相应的取悦男性的必要。她们本身对男性就存有吸引力，如果你懂我的意思的话。
这并不意味着女性毫无幽默细胞，或者她们不能成为风趣的人和喜剧演员。如果她们接收不到幽默的波段，一个人就算使出九牛二虎之力以图让她们笑翻天最终也只是徒然。毕竟，风趣，从来都是才智的征兆。男性几乎会嘲笑所有事物，准确地说，是嘲笑那（些）傻兮兮的事物。而女性却不然。女性当中的风趣之人和有喜剧天分者都是很令人敬佩的，如多萝西•帕克，弗兰•拉波维兹，艾伦•德杰尼勒斯。我肯定是吃了豹子胆了——我确是这么想的，我竟敢向拉波维兹女士提出让她来考证一下我的理论。弗兰予我的回应是：“文化价值是男性主导的；因为一个女性说某个男人风趣幽默就跟一个男人评价一个女人漂亮是一样的。而且，幽默一般说来是富有侵略性的，而且是强制性的，男性不就是这样的吗？”
准确地说，由于幽默是智慧的一种表现方式，很多女性深信，又或者是听从了她们的母亲那一套说法而认为，女性如果风头太过的话就会给男性带来胁迫感，那么在一定程度上，或许男性也不愿意看到女性谈笑风生。
如果要严肃地讨论这个话题的话，幽默，是源自一个无法避免的事实——我们生来就是要经历这场有输无赢的竞争。那些冒着剧痛和难产而死的危险将后代带进这场恶战的女人们，做不出轻佻的姿态。而且即使在男人常备的搞笑段子里，也不大有将生儿育女拿来开涮的。我深信，这可以部分地解释为什么在所有的文化里，总是女性成为宗教的主要信徒——因为宗教是公然与幽默为敌的。
奥斯卡•王尔德是唯一一个以婴孩之死开过玩笑却没有玩出火的人，但那个婴儿是虚构的人物，王尔德又是一个同性恋者（尽管他是两个孩子的父亲）。因为恐惧乃迷信之母，再者，无论如何，女性在一定程度上是由月亮和潮汐主宰的，所以她们更加沉溺于梦想，沉迷于那些她们认为很重要的日子如生日和纪念日，那些浪漫的爱情，水晶和宝石，纪念品盒和遗物，以及男人们觉得只配付以嘲笑和调侃的其他一些玩意。呜呼哀哉！还有什么事比倾听一个女人讲述她刚做的梦更不可笑的？
对男性来说，他们最珍视的两样东西——女人和幽默——竟然是相抵相冲的，这是何等的悲剧。但是，没有悲剧就不可能有喜剧。当我对爱人说我要就这个令人忧郁的话题发表见解时，她告诉我应该乐观点，因为“女人会随着年纪的增长而越来越幽默的”。
据我的观察，这可能确实是真的，但是，很抱歉，那岂不是要等上很久才能等到那一天？