生活中还需要学会放弃

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  I’m one of those people who’s terrible at saying no. I take on too many projects at once, and spend too much of my time doing things I’d rather not be. I get 1)stuff done, but it’s not always the best I can do, or the best way to spend my time.
  That’s why my newest goal, both as a 2)professional and a person, is to be a quitter.
  Being a quitter isn’t being someone who gives up, who doesn’t see important things through to the end. I 3)aspire to be the opposite of those things, and think we all should. The quitter I want to be is someone who gets out when there’s no value to be added, or when that value comes 4)at the expense of something more important.
  I want to quit doing things that I’m asked to do, for no other reason than I’m asked to do it. I want to be able to quit something in 5)mid-stream, because I realize there’s nothing good coming from it.
  A friend of mine once told me that “I knew I was an adult when I could stop reading a book, even after getting 500 pages into it.” 6)Odd though it sounds, we all 7)tend to do this. We 8)get involved in something, realize we don’t want to be a part of it, but keep fighting through. We say “well, I’ve already 9)invested so much time in this, I might as well 10)stick it out.”


  I 11)propose the opposite: Don’t be afraid to quit, 12)regardless of the project 13)status or time invested. If you’re reading a book, and don’t like it, stop reading. Cut your losses, and realize that the smartest thing to do is stop before your losses grow even more. If you’re working on a project at work that isn’t going anywhere, but you’ve already invested tons of time on it, quit. Take the time gained by quitting the pointless project, and put it toward something of value. Instead of reading an entire book you hate, read half a bad one and half a good one. Isn’t that a better use of your time?
  If you’re 14)stuck doing something, and don’t really want to do it anymore, step back for a second. Ask if you really have to do this, and what value is being produced from your doing it. Don’t think about the time you’ve put into it, or how much it’s taken over your life. If you don’t want to do it, and don’t have to do it, don’t do it.
  By quitting these things, you’ll free up time to do things that actually do create value, for yourself and for others. You’ll have time to read all the great books out there, or at least a couple more. You can start putting your time and effort into the things you actually like to do.   Let’s try it together: What are the things you’re doing, that you’re only doing because you’ve been doing them for so long? Quit. Don’t let time spent 15)dictate time you will spend. Let’s learn how to say “no” at the beginning, or in the middle, and free up more of our time to do the things we’d like to be doing, and the things actually worth doing.
  Saying no is hard, and admitting a mistaken yes is even harder. But if we do both, we’ll start to make sure that we’re spending our time creating value, rather than 16)aggravating our losses. Let’s be quitters together.
  What do you think? What in your life can you quit?


  我是那种害怕说“不”的人。我每次总是承担太多的工作,并且花费太多的时间做我不想做的事情。我会把事情完成,但往往无法做到最好,或者不是以最佳的方式利用自己的时间。
  所以,我的最新目标——无论从职业和个人方面——就是成为一个懂得放弃的人。
  学会放弃,并不是去做一个轻易放弃的人,这种人没有看透事情的关键。我渴望成为与之相反的人,我认为我们都应该这样。我想成为这样一种懂得放弃的人——当无法创造更高的价值,或者创造这种价值需要牺牲更重要的事时,他们会选择离开。
  我想放弃做那些别人要求我做的事,因为我做这些事的唯一原因只是别人叫我去做。我希望能在中途放弃一些事,因为我意识到自己从中没有得到任何好处。
  我的一个朋友曾经告诉我,“当我能放弃读一本书,即使之前我已经读了500页,我知道自己长大了”。尽管听起来很奇怪,但我们都倾向于这么做。我们涉足一些事情,意识到自己并不想成为它的一部分,却继续挣扎。我们会说:“嗯,我已经投入了这么多时间在里面,我还是坚持到底吧。”
  我提出相反的观点:不要害怕放弃,不管项目的状况是好是坏,或者你投入了多少时间。如果你正在读一本书,你不喜欢它,那就不要再读。减少你的损失,并懂得最明智的做法是在损失增加之前停止。如果你正在做一个没有进展的项目,但你已经花费了大量的时间,那么请放弃。从放弃毫无意义的项目中获得时间,并把它投入到有价值的事情上。读一半坏书,读一半好书,而不是读完一本你讨厌的书。这难道不是更好地利用你的时间吗?
  如果你被一件事缠住,而你真的不想再做了,停下来想一想。问一问自己是否真的必须做,你做这件事情能产生什么价值。不要去想你投入的时间,也不要想它占据了你生活的多大部分。如果你不想做,且不是必须做的事,那就不要做。
  通过放弃这些事情,你将可以腾出时间做一些能真正为自己和其他人创造价值的事。你将会有时间阅读所有伟大的书籍,或者至少可以多读几本。你能够将你的时间和精力投入到真正喜欢的事上。
  让我们一起试一试吧:你现在做的事情当中,有哪些仅仅是因为你已经做了很久而继续做的?放弃吧。不要让已经付出的时间支配以后的时间。让我们学会在开始或中途说“不”,而后腾出更多时间去做我们想做、并真正值得做的事。
  说“不”很难,承认错误更难。但是如果我们都做到了,我们将会知道自己所花的时间是在创造价值,而不是加重损失。让我们一起成为懂得放弃的人。
  你有什么想法?生活中,有什么是你能放弃的呢?
  何时需要放弃,何时需要坚持?
  如果你想要放弃,确保你放弃的理由足够充分,确定你已经权衡过利弊。遇到一点小挫折就放弃,必然会令你一事无成。当你考虑放弃某一件事之前,思考以下问题:
  你是新手,还在学习当中吗?有人可以为你提供指导意见,让你不断提高吗?
  现在这个地方、这个阶段是否值得你全力以赴地追求当前的事业?你身边有支持你想法的人吗?
  你正在做的事能让你快乐吗?即使日后无法从中取得巨大成功,你还会一如既往地享受这件事吗?
  你的付出与收获成正比吗?
  There comes a time when you’re losing a fight that it just doesn’t make sense to keep on fighting. It’s not that you’re being a quitter, it’s just that you’ve got the sense to know when enough is enough.—Christopher Paul Curtis (African-American writer of children’s books)
  总会有这种时候:你在斗争中失利,继续坚持下去显得没有多少意义。这并不代表你是一个半途而废的人,只是说明你意识到真的够了。——克里斯托夫·保罗·柯蒂斯(非裔美国儿童书作家)
  Quitting law school was the most difficult decision of my life. But I felt this great relief[解脱的感觉] that this is my life and I can do what I want with it.—Carly Fiorina (American former business executive)
  从法学院退学是我这辈子做过的最艰难的决定。但我感到一种巨大的解脱,因为这是我的人生,我可以做自己想做的事。——卡莉·菲奥莉娜(前美国企业高管)
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