飘过童年的雪

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  朱俊 译
  
  我出生在嵩山脚下的一个小城市,印象中,故乡的冬天总会下几场鹅毛大雪。常常是一觉醒来,往窗外一望就发现屋檐上、树丫间乃至整个天地都是白茫茫的一片。顿时,早起上学的阴霾就会无缘由地消失,心情变得雀跃起来。于是,一整天的心思都被这白色的精灵所牵引,上课中间也禁不住往窗外偷瞄上几眼,这倒也为当初年少时“为赋新诗强说愁”提供了情感素材。
  只不过,这一切晶莹剔透的过往都已成为了回忆。如今生活在没有严冬的广州,想看到大雪纷飞就成了一种远不可及的奢侈,而这篇描写与雪有关的童年回忆的文章让我找回了一些关于雪的记忆,也能让没有见过雪的南方朋友跟着作者的笔触进行一次雪中之旅。
  ——Eva
  
  I got out of bed to see what had happened in the night. I was thirteen years old then. I had fallen asleep watching the snow falling through the half-frosted window.
  While getting out of bed I remembered how, as I was nearly asleep, the night outside the frosted window had seemed to burst into a white jungle. I had dreamed of streets and houses buried in snow.
  I hurried barefooted to the window. It was
  1)scribbled with a thick frost and I couldn’t see through it. The room was cold and through the opened window came the fresh smell of snow like the 2)moist nose of an animal resting on the 3)ledge and breathing into the room.
  I knew from the smell and the darkness of the window that snow was falling. I melted a
  4)peephole on the glass with my palms. I saw that this time the snow had not fooled me. It was still coming down white and silent and too thick for the wind to move, and the streets and houses were almost as I had dreamed. I watched, shivering and happy. Then I dressed, pulling on my clothes as if the house were on fire. I was finished with breakfast and out in the storm two hours before school time.
  The world had changed. All the houses, fences, and barren trees had new shapes. Everything was round and white and unfamiliar.
  I set out through these new streets on a voyage of discovery. The unknown surrounded me. Through the thick falling snow, the trees, houses, and fences looked like ghost shapes that had floated down out of the sky during the night. The morning was without light, but the snowfall hung and swayed like a marvelous lantern over the streets. The 5)snowbanks, already over my head 6)in places, glowed mysteriously.
  I was pleased with this new world. It seemed to belong to me more than that other world which lay hidden.
  I headed for the school, jumping like a clumsy rabbit in and out of snowbanks. It seemed wrong to spoil the smooth outlines of these snowdrifts and I hoped that nobody else would pass this way after me. In that case the thick falling snow would soon restore the damage. Reassured by this hope I continued on my devastations like some 7)wanton explorer. I began to feel that no one would dare the dangers of a snowstorm. I stopped worrying altogether about the marring of the new and glowing world. Other snows had melted and been shoveled away, but this snow would never disappear. The sun would never shine again and the little 8)Wisconsin town through which I plunged and tumbled to school on this dark storm-filled morning was from now on an arctic land full of danger and adventure.
  When eventually, 9)encased in snow, I arrived at the school, I found scores of white-covered figures already there. The girls had taken shelter inside, but the boys stayed in the storm. They jumped in and out of the snowdrifts and tumbled through the deep unbroken white fields in front of the school.
  When we were finally seated in our classroom, we continued to watch the snowstorm through the windows. The morning had grown darker as we had all hoped it would, and it was necessary to turn on the electric lights in the room. This was almost as thrilling as the pale storm still floating outside the windows. In this yellow light the school seemed to disappear and in its place a picnic spread around us. The teachers themselves seemed to change. Their eyes kept turning toward the windows and they kept looking at us behind our desks as if we were strangers. We grew excited and even the sound of our lessons—the sentences out of geography and 10)arithmetic books—made us tremble. My eagerness to get out into the world of wind, gloom, and perpetual snow, kept lifting me out of my seat.
  At three o’clock we rushed into the storm. Our screams died as we reached the school entrance. What we saw silenced us. Under the dark sky the street lay piled in an unbroken bank of snow. And above it the snowfall still hung in a thick and moving cloud. Nothing was visible but snow. Everything else had disappeared. Even the sky was gone.
  I plunged into the storm and vanished fearlessly into it. After an hour I found myself alone. My legs were tired with jumping and my face burned. It had grown darker and the friendliness seemed to have gone out of the storm. The wind bit with a sharper edge and I turned toward my home.
  I arrived at the house that now looked like a snowdrift and ploughed my way up to its front door. My heart was beating violently. I stopped to take a last look at the storm. It was hard to leave it. But for the first time in my life an adult logic instructed me. There would be even more snow tomorrow. And in this wind and snow-filled gloom, and even in the marvelously buried street, there was something now unplayful.
  
  我从床上爬起来,看夜里发生了什么。那时的我才十三岁。前一夜,我在透过结着薄霜的窗玻璃看大雪飘落的时候睡着了。
  起床的时候我记起来,在快要睡着的时候,隔着结霜的玻璃,夜晚似乎突然变成了一片白色的丛林。我后来梦见房屋和街道都被大雪盖住了。
  我光着脚匆匆跑向窗边。窗户上杂乱地结着一层厚厚的霜,没法看到外面。房间里很冷,从敞开的窗子外面飘进来清新的雪的味道,仿佛有一只动物正栖息在窗台上,用它湿润的鼻子对着房间呼气。
  闻着这股味道,看着黝暗的窗户,我知道雪还在下。我用手掌在窗玻璃上化开一个小洞向外看去,知道这次的雪并没有辜负我的期盼。白雪还在无声无息地飘落,密密匝匝地,风也动摇不了它。房屋和街道几乎和我梦里见到的一模一样。我看着这一切,虽然感觉冷得发抖,却也幸福快意。然后,我火急火燎地开始穿戴。离上学还有两个小时,我已经吃完早饭冲进了风雪之中。
  世界变了个样。所有的房屋、栅栏还有光秃秃的树木都换了新颜。一切事物都变成圆乎乎的,银装素裹,看起来很陌生。
  我启程踏上了探索之旅。穿过焕然一新的大街小巷,周遭显得十分陌生。隔着密集的落雪,树木、房屋还有栅栏仿佛是昨夜从天空中飘降的幽灵。清晨还没有光亮,而这纷飞的大雪仿佛一挂神奇的灯笼,摇摇晃晃地照着街巷。几处高过我的雪堆闪着神秘的光。
  这个崭新的世界让我很开心。比起大雪掩埋的那个世界,它似乎和我更亲近。
  我直奔学校,像一只笨拙的兔子,在雪堆间跳上跳下。这样做好像是不对的,会破坏这些雪堆流畅的线条,我希望后面不会有别人也走这条路,好让大雪很快就能把我造成的破坏掩盖起来。想到这里我放下心来,像一个莽撞的探险家,继续大肆破坏。我开始想,哪会有人敢冒暴风雪的危险。因此我完全不再担心这个闪亮的新世界会遭受破坏。其他的雪已经融化,被铲走,但这次的雪永远不会消失,太阳永远不会再闪耀。在这个漆黑一片、刮着暴风雪的清晨,我跌跌撞撞地朝学校奔去。我穿过的这座地处威斯康星州的小镇,从现在开始变成了一块充满了危险和奇遇的极地。
  最终到达学校的时候,我已经被雪裹得严严实实。我发现那儿已经有许多白色的人影了。女孩子已经躲进屋里,男孩子却呆在风雪里头。他们在学校门前的雪堆里蹦上跳下,在尚未破坏的深深的白色雪原里打滚。
  我们最后在教室里坐下来的时候,还在看窗外的风雪。这个早晨像大家希望的一样天色愈加昏暗,非得要打开教室里的电灯不可。这几乎跟窗外还在飘洒的白茫茫的暴风雪一样让我们兴奋。在昏黄的灯光里,学校似乎消失了,大家仿佛在原地搞起了野餐。老师好像也变了,他们不时把眼光投向窗外,还从我们的课桌后一直观察我们,就好像原本不认识我们一样。我们越来越兴奋,连我们上的课——地理和算术课本上的句子听起来都让我们激动。我渴望冲到外面这个阴暗的、刮着风、永远在下雪的世界,这种渴望总是让我跃跃欲试。
  到了三点钟,我们直冲进风雪里。当我们来到学校大门时,尖叫声消失了。眼前的一切把我们震住了。在阴暗的天空之下,那一层层的街道都铺上了不见一丝褶皱的雪被。雪被之上,大雪还在不停地下着,如同一团移动的浓云。除了雪,什么都看不见。除了雪,一切都消失了。就连天空也不见影踪。
  我不顾一切地一头扎进风雪里,消失在众人的视野中。过了一个小时,我发现只有我一个人了。我的双腿蹦得累极了,脸也冻得火辣辣的。天色越来越暗,风雪也似乎不再友善。风刮如刀割,我开始掉头回家。
  我一路艰难跋涉回家,走到大门前。房子现在看起来就像一个雪堆。我的心还在激烈地跳动。我停下来最后看了一眼这风雪,恋恋不舍。不过我还是平生第一次信服了成年人的逻辑:明天的雪会更大呢,而且在这样风雪交加的阴暗天气里,即使在那被大雪神奇地掩盖着的街道上,有些东西现在也没什么好玩的。
  
  注:“本文中所涉及到的图表、注解、公式等内容请以PDF格式阅读原文。”
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