爸爸,父亲节快乐

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  Dear Dad,
  Today I was at the shopping mall and I spent a lot of time reading the Father’s Day cards. They all had a special message that in some way or another reflected how I feel about you. Yet as I selected and read, and selected and read again, it occurred to me that not a single card said what I really want to say to you.
  You’ll soon be 84 years old, Dad, and you and I will have had 55 Father’s Days together.
  You know, Dad, there was a time when we were not only separated by the generation gap but completely 1)polarized by it. You stood on one side of 2)the Great Divide and I on the other, father and daughter split apart by age and experience, opinions, hairstyles, cosmetics, clothing, 3)curfews, music, and boys.
  The Father-Daughter Duel of ’54 shifted into high gear when you taught me to drive the old 4)Dodge and I decided I would drive the ’54 5)Chevy whether you liked it or not. The police officer who 6)escorted me home after you reported the Chevy stolen late one evening was too young to understand father-daughter politics and too old to have much tolerance for a 7)snotty 16-year-old. You were so decent about it, Dad, and I think that was probably what made it the worst night of my life.
  Our relationship improved 8)immensely when I married a man you liked, and things really turned around when we began making babies 9)right and left. I didn’t know what to expect of you and Mom as grandparents but I didn’t have to wait long to find out. Those babies adored you then just as they adore you now. When I see you with all your grandchildren, I know you’ve given them the finest gift a grandparent can give. You’ve given them yourself.
  Somewhere along the line, the generation gap 10)evaporated. Age separates us now and little else. We agree on most everything, perhaps because we’ve learned there isn’t much worth disagreeing about. However, I would like to mention that 11)fly fishing isn’t all you’ve12)cracked it up to be, Dad.
  I suppose I saw us and our relationship as aging together, rather like a fine wine. Numbers never seemed important. But the oddest thing happened last week. I was at a stop sign and I watched as you turned the corner in your car. It didn’t immediately occur to me that it was you because the man driving looked so elderly and fragile behind the wheel of that huge car. It was rather like a slap in the face delivered from out of nowhere. Perhaps I saw your age for the first time that day. Or maybe I saw my own.
  Fifty years ago this spring, we planted 13)kohlrabi together in a garden in Charles City, Iowa.
  This week, we’ll plant kohlrabi together again, perhaps for the last time but I hope not. I don’t understand why planting kohlrabi with you is so important to me but it is. And the funny thing about it is, well, I don’t quite know how to tell you this, Dad...I don’t even like kohlrabi...but I like planting it with you.
  I guess what I’m trying to say, Dad, is what every son and daughter wants to say to their dad today. Honoring a father on Father’s Day is about more than a dad who brings home a paycheck, shares a dinner table, and attends school functions, graduations, and weddings. It isn’t even so much about kohlrabi, ’54 Chevrolets, and fly fishing. It’s more about unconditionally loving children who are snotty and stubborn, who know everything and won’t listen to anyone. It’s about respect and sharing and acceptance and tolerance and giving and taking. It’s about loving someone more than words can say, and it’s wishing that it never had to end.
  I love you, Dad.
  
  亲爱的爸爸:
  今天我在商场,花了好长时间来读“父亲节”贺卡上的文字。那些卡片上面的文字都传递出特别的信息,也或多或少地表达出了我对您的感受。可我反复地挑呀读呀,却发现没有一张贺卡能够表达出我真正想对您说的话。
  爸,很快您就84岁了,我和您也将一起度过这第55个父亲节。
  爸,您也知道,有一段时间,代沟不仅仅让我们父女俩疏远,它简直就让我们处于对立面。我们站在大分水岭的两边,父女俩常因年龄、个人阅历、观点、发型、化妆、服装、晚上回家的时间规定、音乐以及男朋友而闹翻。
  那时,您教我学开那部道奇旧车,可我却不管您喜欢不喜欢,执意要开那辆54年产的雪佛兰。因为此事,我们的父女之争也在1954年发展到了顶点。那天深夜,您报警说雪佛兰车被盗。之后,一名警官把我护送回家。可他太年轻了,根本不明白父女之间的对抗游戏;但他也不小了,因此,不能容忍一个脾气暴躁的16岁少女的行为。爸爸,您对这件事的处理倒是很得体。那是我一生中最难受的一个夜晚,我想您的态度可能就是原因吧。
  在我嫁给了一个您喜欢的女婿后,我们俩之间的关系才缓和了好多。后来,我们全力以赴生孩子,我们之间的关系便来了个全方位大转变。我当时并不知道我应该对身为外公外婆的您和妈妈抱什么期望,但是,不用等多久我就有了答案。那时候,我的孩子们和现在一样,都非常喜欢您。当我看见您和您的外孙们在一起的时候,我知道您已经尽你所能给了他们最好的礼物,您把心都掏给他们了。
  就是这样,您我之间的代沟慢慢消失了,我们之间的差异只有年龄。我们在很多事情上的看法都是一致的,这可能是因为我们明白了没有那么多的事情值得我们争辩吧。然而,我想提一下的是,爸,飞蝇钓鱼并不是您说的那么有意思。
  我认为,我们以及我俩的关系就像是一瓶好酒,一起慢慢地变老。岁数已不再重要。但是,上周发生了一件很奇怪的事情,我的车在停车标志前停下,看见您开着车拐弯。可是我并没有立刻反应过来那是您,因为在那部大车方向盘后面的驾车人显得那么苍老、虚弱。当时,就好像是有人不知从哪儿冒出来,重重地扇了我一记耳光。也许,那天是我第一次“看见”您的年纪,或者说,是我看到了自己的年纪。
  五十年前的一个春天,我们在衣阿华州查尔斯市的一个花园一起种下甘蓝菜。
  这星期,我们还要一起种甘蓝菜。也许,这是最后一次,可我并不希望那样。我不明白为什么和您一起种甘蓝菜对我来说这么重要,可确实如此。而且,关于这个,有一点很有意思,可我不知道该怎么和您说这事,爸……其实我压根儿不喜欢甘蓝菜……但是,我却喜欢和您一起种甘蓝菜。
  爸爸,我想说的是每个儿女今天都想跟他们的爸爸说的话。在父亲节的时候向父亲致意,这决不是因为爸爸给家里挣钱,他和家人一起共进晚餐,参加儿女的学校活动,参加毕业典礼和婚礼等等,甚至也不止是一起种甘蓝菜,开54年的雪佛兰车和飞蝇钓鱼。而是爸爸们毫无保留地爱着自己脾气坏、固执的孩子,爱着那些自以为是、谁的话都听不进去的孩子;是尊重、分享、认同、宽容、互谅互让,是用言语无法表达的深情爱着一个人,并希望这爱永不止歇。
  爸爸,我爱您。
  翻译:旭文
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