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【栏目要求】
1. 将学生习作根据中考分值给出成绩; 2. 在应该修改的地方划线并标注序号;
3. 根据所标序号进行修改并说明修改的理由; 4. 给学生习作点评<优点与不足>;
5. 请点评名师提供简历一份,包括:学校、职务、职称、荣誉、教研教学成果、照片一张。
投稿邮箱: zxsyy2007@163.com或whzxsyy@163.com
来稿请寄: 430079 华中师范大学外国语学院《中学生英语》 杂志社 收
男,中学英语高级教师,省级骨干教师,淮北市优秀教师,中国外语学习研究会会员,《学英语》《英语周报》《中学生英语》特约编辑。多年来,在省级以上报刊发表文章800余篇,并有多篇論文获奖;曾主编《初中生英语满分作文大全》《英语奥林匹克》《新目标英语八年级暑假作业》,参编《高中英语知识点反馈与阅读》《初中英语题典大全》《21世纪英语学习指南》《初中英语新作文》《中学生英语水平测试》等10余册;曾辅导学生30余人次在国家和省级英语竞赛中获奖。
A Trip Plan
The summer vacation is coming. I would like going① on vacation in Beijing and somewhere in the south of China. Hainan Island is a good place for the trip, but I do not know much about it, so I asked my father if he was able to provide me for② some information about the trip yesterday. He said that there was a lot of information on the Internet. So I searched the Internet and found lots of useful informations③, and then I made a trip plan according to the information.
First, I am going to Beijing by train. I would love to go to the Great Wall. And I also hope visiting④ the Summer Palace, Imperial Palace, Yuanming Yuan, Tian’anmen Square, Beihai Park, the Chinese History Museum and the Temple of Heaven. Those are famous places of interests⑤ in China. I am going to stay in Beijing for a week.
Then I would like to go to Hainan island by a plane⑥. Hainan Island is the second the largest⑦ island in China. I will go to Sanya in the south of the island because I will be able to go scuba diving, fishing and boating there. I am going to stay there for three days. Then I will fly to my hometown.
I hope I will have a great time during the summer vacation.
安徽省濉溪县百善中心学校九(2)班 李嘉
1. 优点:
小作者紧扣主题,对自己的度假计划作了详细的规划,层次分明、过渡自然、语句通顺、表达准确。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①改为to go。would like to do sth.是固定搭配,意为“想做某事”。
②改为with。provide sb. with sth.是固定搭配,意为“向某人提供某物”。
③改为information。information(消息、信息)是不可数名词,没有复数形式,故不可在其后加s。
④改为to visit。hope to do sth. 为习惯搭配,表示“希望做某事”。
⑤改为interest。place of interest 意为“名胜”。
⑥改为by plane。表示“乘坐交通工具”,by后直接跟交通工具的名词,且名词前不能有冠词或物主代词等修饰语。
⑦改为largest。形容词最高级前有序数词修饰时,最高级前不能再加the。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分25分的标准,本文修改前可得21分。
1. 将学生习作根据中考分值给出成绩; 2. 在应该修改的地方划线并标注序号;
3. 根据所标序号进行修改并说明修改的理由; 4. 给学生习作点评<优点与不足>;
5. 请点评名师提供简历一份,包括:学校、职务、职称、荣誉、教研教学成果、照片一张。
投稿邮箱: zxsyy2007@163.com或whzxsyy@163.com
来稿请寄: 430079 华中师范大学外国语学院《中学生英语》 杂志社 收
男,中学英语高级教师,省级骨干教师,淮北市优秀教师,中国外语学习研究会会员,《学英语》《英语周报》《中学生英语》特约编辑。多年来,在省级以上报刊发表文章800余篇,并有多篇論文获奖;曾主编《初中生英语满分作文大全》《英语奥林匹克》《新目标英语八年级暑假作业》,参编《高中英语知识点反馈与阅读》《初中英语题典大全》《21世纪英语学习指南》《初中英语新作文》《中学生英语水平测试》等10余册;曾辅导学生30余人次在国家和省级英语竞赛中获奖。
A Trip Plan
The summer vacation is coming. I would like going① on vacation in Beijing and somewhere in the south of China. Hainan Island is a good place for the trip, but I do not know much about it, so I asked my father if he was able to provide me for② some information about the trip yesterday. He said that there was a lot of information on the Internet. So I searched the Internet and found lots of useful informations③, and then I made a trip plan according to the information.
First, I am going to Beijing by train. I would love to go to the Great Wall. And I also hope visiting④ the Summer Palace, Imperial Palace, Yuanming Yuan, Tian’anmen Square, Beihai Park, the Chinese History Museum and the Temple of Heaven. Those are famous places of interests⑤ in China. I am going to stay in Beijing for a week.
Then I would like to go to Hainan island by a plane⑥. Hainan Island is the second the largest⑦ island in China. I will go to Sanya in the south of the island because I will be able to go scuba diving, fishing and boating there. I am going to stay there for three days. Then I will fly to my hometown.
I hope I will have a great time during the summer vacation.
安徽省濉溪县百善中心学校九(2)班 李嘉
1. 优点:
小作者紧扣主题,对自己的度假计划作了详细的规划,层次分明、过渡自然、语句通顺、表达准确。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①改为to go。would like to do sth.是固定搭配,意为“想做某事”。
②改为with。provide sb. with sth.是固定搭配,意为“向某人提供某物”。
③改为information。information(消息、信息)是不可数名词,没有复数形式,故不可在其后加s。
④改为to visit。hope to do sth. 为习惯搭配,表示“希望做某事”。
⑤改为interest。place of interest 意为“名胜”。
⑥改为by plane。表示“乘坐交通工具”,by后直接跟交通工具的名词,且名词前不能有冠词或物主代词等修饰语。
⑦改为largest。形容词最高级前有序数词修饰时,最高级前不能再加the。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分25分的标准,本文修改前可得21分。