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孩子都需要家庭和父母，一个被领养的孩子会经历怎样的心路历程？克莉斯汀·切诺维兹是著名的女演员和歌手，曾获美国戏剧界的大奖“托尼奖”，主演过热门电视剧《白宫西翼》。作为一个被领养的孩子，她经历了怎样的心路历程呢？
I can’t remember the specific1 moment I was told I was adopted2; I just know that at some point, my parents said, “After yourbrother Mark was born, Mommy couldn’t have any more kids, and that’s why you’re so special.” Growing up in Oklahoma, I never spent time wishing I could meet my birth mother. That’s because the family I already had was amazing: My brother and I were close, my dad and I had the same sense of humor and my mother was —and still is —my best friend.
But there were differences: I’m 4 feet 11 inches and blond, while the rest of my family is tall and dark-haired. I can’t balance my checkbook, while my brother is a brilliant mathematician. I, on the other hand, could sing—while no one else in my family could. At 28, I went through a period of severe3depression4, and at 30 I suddenly got adult—onset acne. When you’re adopted you can’t help but wonder, where did I come from?
Here’s what I do know about my biological mother: When she had me she was 21 years old and unmarried. She came from money and worked as a flight attendant. At the same time, a young woman had been forced to have a hysterectomy5 at 25 because of a medical condition. The adoption couldn’t have worked out more perfectly—just as my mother’s scars were healing, she got to bring me home.
My family never made me feel like an outside—not even once. But it is impossible to grow up as an adopted child and not sometimes feel like maybe, you don’t fit in. Look at all the references6 to Angelina Jolie and “her adopted son, Maddox” .He’s her son, not “adopted son”-Yet we are constantly being reminded that she did not give birth to him. Growing up in the eighties, I used to watch episodes7 of sally Jessy Raphael in which the show’s producers would track down the biological parents of an adopted child. I remember thinking, what if those people don’t want to be found? My brother, Mark, must have intuited8 how scary this was for me. Once, when I was 11 and he was 16, my parents were having an argument and he and I took off in the car. He took me to a chapel9and we prayed together. On the ride home, he said, “By the way, no one will ever be able to take you away from us—I checked.”In that moment, I felt so safe and loved. For the first time, I truly understood that blood is not necessarily thicker than water. I also knew with certainty that I didn’t need any family other than my own.
Sometimes I wonder if I have a sibling out there, or if my biological mother has seen me on TV. And if you told me she was standing in line at the deli10downstairs, I might take a peek. But do I need to meet her or establish11 a relationship with her? Not really. My biological mother gave me life—I want to thank her for that. But my parents always say that they struck the lottery when they adopted me. It isn’t true: I struck the lottery because I got the parents I was supposed to get.
Last September, I gave my first solo concert at Carnegie Hall. Amazingly,itsold out. As I walked onto thestage, people leapt to their feet. I thought about all the women who’d stood here before me: Judy Garland, Julie Andres, Bernadette Peters. I looked into the footlights12 and saw my parents just beaming. I performed a surprise song I’d written for my father, called “The Ride Home , about the countless ballet classes and piano lessons he’d driven me to and from. Though my father is not a man who cries, when I finished the song he stood up and blew me a kiss. I saw big, fat tears rolling down his face. I remember thinking, if that isn’t my father, I don’t know who is.
我记不清何时得知自己是被领养的，只记得当时父母对我说:“在你哥哥马克出生后，妈妈就不能再生孩子了，这就是你如此特殊的原因。”我长在俄克拉荷马州，从来没想过能与自己的亲生母亲相见，那是因为我现在的家人实在太好了：我和哥哥关系亲密，我和父亲有同样的幽默感，而母亲一直是我最好的朋友。
但我们之间有许多不同之处：我4英尺11英寸高，金发，而我的家人身材高挑，黑发。我连账单都算不清，而我的哥哥是位出色的数学家。我擅长唱歌，而他们没有这方面的天赋。我28岁时，有一个时期患了十分严重的抑郁征 ；30岁时突然长了青春痘。若你是被领养的，你不禁会问 ：我到底来自哪里呢？
关于我的生母，我只知道 ：她怀我的时候才21岁，单身，家道殷实，是位空姐。恰好那个时候，一个25岁的年轻女人不得不做子宫切除手术，无法再生育，领养我对她们俩来说是再好不过的选择。我母亲手术愈合后，就把我带回了家。
我的家人从没把我当做外人看待，一次也没有。但是作为被领养的孩子，没有那种感觉是不可能的，你有时候可能会觉得不能和谐地融入这个家庭。看看所有关于安吉丽娜·朱丽和“她的养子迈道克斯”的介绍。他是她的儿子，而非“养子”，但我们仍会不时地被提醒安吉丽娜·朱丽并没有生育这个孩子。 80年代成长的我，儿时常看萨利杰西·拉斐尔的脱口秀节目，其中有制片人为一个被领养的孩子寻找亲生父母的片段。我那时想，如果那些父母不希望被找到呢？我哥哥马克一定察觉到这让我很恐慌。在我11岁他16岁时，有一次，父母在争吵，他和我开车走了。他带我去了教堂，我们一起祷告。在开车回家的路上，他说:“哦，没有人能从我们身边把你带走。我保证。”那一刻，我觉得很安全，沉浸在被爱的幸福中，生平第一次真正理解了血未必浓于水的道理。我也确定，我需要的就是现在拥有的这个家庭。
有时我会想，我是否还有一个胞弟或胞妹，或者我的生母是否在电视上看到过我。如果你告诉我她就在楼下的熟食店排队，我可能会偷偷地去看一看。但我真的要去见她，与她母女相认吗？并非如此。我的生母给了我生命，我因此而感激她。但我的养父母总是说他们收养我是中了大奖。事实上，能拥有他们是我的运气。
去年9月，我在卡耐基音乐厅举办了首场个人演唱会。令人惊奇的是，门票被抢购一空。当我走上舞台时，人们都跳了起来。我想到了所有在我之前站在这个舞台上的女明星：朱迪·加兰、朱丽·安德鲁斯、伯纳黛特·彼得斯。我朝舞台前的那排灯望去，看到我的父母容光焕发。我唱了一首我写给父亲的特别的歌，名为《载我回家》，歌词是关于他开车接送我去参加的数不尽的芭蕾课和钢琴课。尽管父亲不是一个爱落泪的人，但当我演唱完之后，他站了起来，给了我一个飞吻。我看见大颗的泪珠从他的脸颊滑落。我想，如果他不是我的父亲，那我不知道谁还会是。
水绘 摘自 Adoption
I can’t remember the specific1 moment I was told I was adopted2; I just know that at some point, my parents said, “After yourbrother Mark was born, Mommy couldn’t have any more kids, and that’s why you’re so special.” Growing up in Oklahoma, I never spent time wishing I could meet my birth mother. That’s because the family I already had was amazing: My brother and I were close, my dad and I had the same sense of humor and my mother was —and still is —my best friend.
But there were differences: I’m 4 feet 11 inches and blond, while the rest of my family is tall and dark-haired. I can’t balance my checkbook, while my brother is a brilliant mathematician. I, on the other hand, could sing—while no one else in my family could. At 28, I went through a period of severe3depression4, and at 30 I suddenly got adult—onset acne. When you’re adopted you can’t help but wonder, where did I come from?
Here’s what I do know about my biological mother: When she had me she was 21 years old and unmarried. She came from money and worked as a flight attendant. At the same time, a young woman had been forced to have a hysterectomy5 at 25 because of a medical condition. The adoption couldn’t have worked out more perfectly—just as my mother’s scars were healing, she got to bring me home.
My family never made me feel like an outside—not even once. But it is impossible to grow up as an adopted child and not sometimes feel like maybe, you don’t fit in. Look at all the references6 to Angelina Jolie and “her adopted son, Maddox” .He’s her son, not “adopted son”-Yet we are constantly being reminded that she did not give birth to him. Growing up in the eighties, I used to watch episodes7 of sally Jessy Raphael in which the show’s producers would track down the biological parents of an adopted child. I remember thinking, what if those people don’t want to be found? My brother, Mark, must have intuited8 how scary this was for me. Once, when I was 11 and he was 16, my parents were having an argument and he and I took off in the car. He took me to a chapel9and we prayed together. On the ride home, he said, “By the way, no one will ever be able to take you away from us—I checked.”In that moment, I felt so safe and loved. For the first time, I truly understood that blood is not necessarily thicker than water. I also knew with certainty that I didn’t need any family other than my own.
Sometimes I wonder if I have a sibling out there, or if my biological mother has seen me on TV. And if you told me she was standing in line at the deli10downstairs, I might take a peek. But do I need to meet her or establish11 a relationship with her? Not really. My biological mother gave me life—I want to thank her for that. But my parents always say that they struck the lottery when they adopted me. It isn’t true: I struck the lottery because I got the parents I was supposed to get.
Last September, I gave my first solo concert at Carnegie Hall. Amazingly,itsold out. As I walked onto thestage, people leapt to their feet. I thought about all the women who’d stood here before me: Judy Garland, Julie Andres, Bernadette Peters. I looked into the footlights12 and saw my parents just beaming. I performed a surprise song I’d written for my father, called “The Ride Home , about the countless ballet classes and piano lessons he’d driven me to and from. Though my father is not a man who cries, when I finished the song he stood up and blew me a kiss. I saw big, fat tears rolling down his face. I remember thinking, if that isn’t my father, I don’t know who is.
我记不清何时得知自己是被领养的，只记得当时父母对我说:“在你哥哥马克出生后，妈妈就不能再生孩子了，这就是你如此特殊的原因。”我长在俄克拉荷马州，从来没想过能与自己的亲生母亲相见，那是因为我现在的家人实在太好了：我和哥哥关系亲密，我和父亲有同样的幽默感，而母亲一直是我最好的朋友。
但我们之间有许多不同之处：我4英尺11英寸高，金发，而我的家人身材高挑，黑发。我连账单都算不清，而我的哥哥是位出色的数学家。我擅长唱歌，而他们没有这方面的天赋。我28岁时，有一个时期患了十分严重的抑郁征 ；30岁时突然长了青春痘。若你是被领养的，你不禁会问 ：我到底来自哪里呢？
关于我的生母，我只知道 ：她怀我的时候才21岁，单身，家道殷实，是位空姐。恰好那个时候，一个25岁的年轻女人不得不做子宫切除手术，无法再生育，领养我对她们俩来说是再好不过的选择。我母亲手术愈合后，就把我带回了家。
我的家人从没把我当做外人看待，一次也没有。但是作为被领养的孩子，没有那种感觉是不可能的，你有时候可能会觉得不能和谐地融入这个家庭。看看所有关于安吉丽娜·朱丽和“她的养子迈道克斯”的介绍。他是她的儿子，而非“养子”，但我们仍会不时地被提醒安吉丽娜·朱丽并没有生育这个孩子。 80年代成长的我，儿时常看萨利杰西·拉斐尔的脱口秀节目，其中有制片人为一个被领养的孩子寻找亲生父母的片段。我那时想，如果那些父母不希望被找到呢？我哥哥马克一定察觉到这让我很恐慌。在我11岁他16岁时，有一次，父母在争吵，他和我开车走了。他带我去了教堂，我们一起祷告。在开车回家的路上，他说:“哦，没有人能从我们身边把你带走。我保证。”那一刻，我觉得很安全，沉浸在被爱的幸福中，生平第一次真正理解了血未必浓于水的道理。我也确定，我需要的就是现在拥有的这个家庭。
有时我会想，我是否还有一个胞弟或胞妹，或者我的生母是否在电视上看到过我。如果你告诉我她就在楼下的熟食店排队，我可能会偷偷地去看一看。但我真的要去见她，与她母女相认吗？并非如此。我的生母给了我生命，我因此而感激她。但我的养父母总是说他们收养我是中了大奖。事实上，能拥有他们是我的运气。
去年9月，我在卡耐基音乐厅举办了首场个人演唱会。令人惊奇的是，门票被抢购一空。当我走上舞台时，人们都跳了起来。我想到了所有在我之前站在这个舞台上的女明星：朱迪·加兰、朱丽·安德鲁斯、伯纳黛特·彼得斯。我朝舞台前的那排灯望去，看到我的父母容光焕发。我唱了一首我写给父亲的特别的歌，名为《载我回家》，歌词是关于他开车接送我去参加的数不尽的芭蕾课和钢琴课。尽管父亲不是一个爱落泪的人，但当我演唱完之后，他站了起来，给了我一个飞吻。我看见大颗的泪珠从他的脸颊滑落。我想，如果他不是我的父亲，那我不知道谁还会是。
水绘 摘自 Adoption