美丽的错吻

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  小兰 译
  Just One Kiss!
  Mr. Baumann’s doctors had warned him and his wife that he was at high risk for a heart attack. But when the attack actually came, Mrs. Baumann still wasn’t prepared. 1)Gripped with shock, fear, and 2)panic, she rode by her husband’s side in the ambulance, repeatedly crying.
  At the hospital, the nurses had to pull Mrs. Baumann away from her husband so the doctors could examine him. After they had successfully stabilized his heart, Mrs. Baumann rushed down the hall to the telephones to call each of their seven children. With tears of exhaustion and relief, she told them of their father’s heart attack, assuring them that his condition was now stable.
  But when Mrs. Baumann returned to her husband’s room, she 3)gasped at the sight before her. Two nurses stood over her husband. Tubes ran in and out of his 4)trembling body, and machines and 5)monitors were 6)humming and 7)beeping. His face was bright red, and he was 8)gasping for breath.
  “What have you done to my husband?” she cried.
  One of the nurses explained, as sympathetically as possible, that he had suffered a 9)massive 10)stroke.
  A stroke! 11)On top of the heart attack! Mrs. Baumann couldn’t control her emotions. Overcome with grief and blinded by tears, she grabbed her husband’s head off the pillow. She held him tightly in her arms, calling out his name and kissing his lips.
  At that very moment, the doctor walked in and demanded, “Mrs. Baumann, what do you think you’re doing?”
  She turned to the doctor and 12)hotly declared, “The question is, Doctor, what have you done to my husband?”
  The doctor shook his head and 13)chuckled, “Mrs. Baumann, that is not your husband!”
  For a moment, Mrs. Baumann was so stunned she couldn’t speak. Then she looked more carefully at the man on the bed.
  “He’s...he’s...not!” she cried, turning a dark shade of 14)crimson. “Oh no! Oh dear! Oh no!”
  Gently a nurse 15)escorted Mrs. Baumann out into the hall.
  “Why didn’t that man try to stop me?” asked Mrs. Baumann.
  “Because of his stroke, he’s unable to move or to speak,” the nurse answered.
  Mrs. Baumann gasped. “And now he must be wondering why that strange lady kissed him!”
  As soon as they entered her husband’s room, Mrs. Baumann rushed to her husband’s side and kissed him. Then, still very shaken, she 16)related her mistake. “He had so many tubes and...and...I hope I didn’t hurt him, Bernie!”
  Mr. Baumann smiled and assured his wife that the man was probably feeling better than ever. But Mrs. Baumann decided she’d better go down to the 17)chapel to pray for both Bernie and the man she’d kissed—and perhaps made worse!
  A few days later the doctor dropped by Mr. Baumann’s room for his final checkup. “Mrs. Baumann,” he said, “you’ll be glad to know that your husband and my patient 18)across the hall have both made 19)miraculous recoveries. Do you suppose it was my good 20)doctoring, your prayers, or your passionate kisses?”
  “Why, why...”she 21)fumbled.
  “Maybe it was all three?” the doctor added with a 22)wink.
  
  医生曾经提醒过鲍曼夫妇,鲍曼先生极有可能会心脏病发作。然而,当鲍曼先生病发的时候,鲍曼太太还是手足无措,显得毫无心理准备。在救护车上,守在丈夫身旁的她又惊又怕,恐慌不已,不断地啼哭着。
  到了医院,护士们不得不把鲍曼太太从她丈夫身旁拉开,以便医生可以给鲍曼先生做检查。等到医生们成功地使鲍曼先生的病情稳定下来之后,鲍曼太太立即冲到医院大厅的电话旁,给七个孩子逐个打电话。身心疲惫、但同时也如释重负的鲍曼太太含泪把丈夫心脏病发作的事告诉了七个孩子,然后安慰他们说,父亲的病情已经稳定了。
  但是,当鲍曼太太回到丈夫的病房时,眼前的一幕让她大吃一惊——只见两位护士站在她丈夫身旁,躺在病床上的鲍曼先生那颤抖不止的身体上插满了管子,各种仪器和监视器在“嘀嘀”地响个不停。他面色通红,正艰难地喘着气。
  “你们都对我丈夫做了些什么?”鲍曼太太叫喊道。
  其中一位护士用尽可能同情的口吻解释说,他刚刚突发严重中风。
  中风!心脏病加中风!鲍曼太太再也抑制不住了。伤心欲绝的她被泪水模糊了双眼,她一把抱起丈夫的头,把他紧紧搂在怀里,呼唤着他的名字,吻着他的双唇。
  这时,一位医生走了进来,问道:“鲍曼太太,你知道自己在干什么吗?”
  鲍曼太太转向这位医生,厉声斥责道:“医生,我倒想问你,你对我丈夫做了些什么?”
  医生摇了摇头,呵呵笑了起来:“鲍曼太太,那不是你丈夫呀!”
  一时间,鲍曼太太愣住了,好久说不出话来。接着,她仔细地看了看床上的那名男子。
  “他……他……不是!” 鲍曼太太大声叫道,脸颊顿时变得绯红,“噢,不!噢,我的天啊!噢,不!”
  一位护士斯文地陪同鲍曼太太走出那名男子的病房,来到医院大厅。
  “为什么那名男子不制止我呢?” 鲍曼太太疑惑地问。
  “因为他中风了,不能动弹也不能说话,”护士回答说。
  鲍曼太太倒吸一口气。“他一定在纳闷,这素不相识的女人为什么会亲他!”
  当她们回到鲍曼先生的病房时,鲍曼太太马上扑到丈夫身边,亲吻他。接着,她心有余悸地向丈夫讲述了自己刚才犯的错误。“他身上插满了管子……真希望我没有弄疼他,伯尼!”
  鲍曼先生微笑着安慰妻子,说那名男子也许从未有过如此美妙的感觉。尽管如此,鲍曼太太还是决定下楼到医院的小教堂去为她的丈夫,还有那个被她吻过的男人祈祷——也不知道他怎么样了,也许自己的吻加重了他的病情!
  几天以后,主治医生来到鲍曼先生的病房,为他做出院前的最后一次检查。“鲍曼太太,” 医生说,“有个消息一定会让你很高兴,你丈夫和大厅对面病房里的那位病人都奇迹般地康复了。你认为,这应该归功于我精湛的医术、你虔诚的祈祷,还是你那激情四溢的吻呢?”
   “这,这……” 鲍曼太太支支吾吾地说。
  “或许三者都兼而有之?”医生眨了眨眼,补充道。
  


  

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