论文部分内容阅读
【作文题】
在我们的生活中,或多或少地存在着不诚信的现象。请你就“诚信”这个话题写一篇100~120词的英语短文。文章须包括以下要点:
(1) 生活中确实存在不讲诚信的现象;
(2) 举一例说明(如毒奶粉事件、考试作弊现象);
(3) 阐述诚信的意义。
要求: ①可以适当增加细节,使行文连贯;
②首句已经给出,不计入总词数。
参考词汇: 毒奶粉poisoned milk powder;作弊cheat
Almost all of us heard the story “Here Comes the Wolf” when we were little kids.
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
这个作文题要求同学们通过讲述社会上或者自己身边不诚信的现象,揭示“诚信”的现实意义。从文体上看,这应是一篇叙议结合的文章。对于诚信,每个同学都有体会,题目中也为举例说明提供了参考,所以文章要做到言之有物还是比较容易的。写作的难点主要在于如何由叙述引发议论,在言之有物之外更要做到言之有理。
来看下面这篇短文。
Almost all of us heard the story “Here Comes the Wolf” when we were little kids. There’re some phenomena of dishonesty nowadays.
Being dishonest does great harm not only to other people but also to yourself. Take the case of poisoned milk powder for example. After drinking this kind of milk, babies have big heads while their legs and arms are thin, which badly affects their health. The producers got punished for all the serious consequences in the end.
Having the reputation of being honest and reliable will make other people trust you, which will provide you with many benefits and give you opportunities that others may not get. In a sense, if life is a long journey, honesty will be the backpack that should be taken along all the way. Let’s pick up our “backpack”—honesty, and start the wonderful journey!
【点评】 模拟得分:18分
这篇短文结构清晰、层次分明,第一段点明主题“诚信问题”,第二段列举了毒奶粉事件的严重后果,第三段阐述诚信的意义。语言上,作者能熟练地使用非谓语动词和从句,可见具有一定的写作功底。但这篇文章还是存在一些值得同学们注意的问题。
(1) 时态前后不一。
第二段在叙述毒奶粉事件时,最后一句The producers got punished for all the serious consequences in the end用的是一般过去时,但前面一句After drinking this kind of milk, babies have big heads while their legs and arms are thin, which badly affects their health却用一般现在时。毒奶粉事件是已经发生的,应把After drinking this kind of milk ... which badly affects their health一句改成过去时,使时态前后一致。
(2) 部分地方语序不佳,导致文意不连贯。
第二段从第二句Take the case of poisoned milk powder for example开始到最后,讲述了现实生活中的不诚信现象,这部分与第一段最后一句There are some phenomena of dishonesty nowadays在意义上连接得更紧密一些,把这部分内容调整至段首更合适。而第二段的首句Being dishonest does great harm not only to other people but also to yourself,表达了“不诚信对人对己都有危害”这一观点,不妨将此作为由不诚信现象得出的结论,移至第二段末尾。
(3) 句子之间、段落之间承接不自然。
第一段的两个句子之间语意跳跃,若在中间加上What we can learn from the story is that we must be honest一句,把“儿时的故事”与“社会上存在不诚信的现象”有机地联系起来,语意会连贯得多。 第二段After drinking this kind of milk ... which badly affects their health一句讲述毒奶粉的直接危害,紧接着的The producers got punished for all the serious consequences in the end一句说的是对不诚信的商业行为的处置,这两句之间缺乏过渡,应添加to our relief 或to our delight这样的短语,使句意承接顺畅。
一篇赏心悦目的佳作除了要结构清晰、语言表达地道之外,还要文意连贯。从上面的例子可见,合理安排语序、恰当使用过渡词句,可以实现句与句之间、段与段之间意义的连贯,借助“形连”达到“意连”,使文章论证更清晰、说理更有力。所以同学们在平时的写作中,务必要有意识地思考如何从连贯的角度让自己的文章更上一层楼。
【修改后】 模拟得分:23分
Almost all of us heard the story “Here Comes the Wolf” when we were little kids. What we can learn from the story is that we must be honest. However, there’re lots of phenomena of dishonesty nowadays.
Take the case of poisoned milk powder for example. After drinking this kind of milk, babies had big heads while their legs and arms were thin, which badly affected their health. To our great relief, the producers got punished for all the serious consequences in the end. Thereby, being dishonest does great harm not only to other people but also to oneself.
Having the reputation of being honest and reliable will make other people trust you,which will provide you with many benefits and give you opportunities that others may not get. In a sense, if life is a long journey, honesty will be the backpack that should be taken along all the way. Let’s pick up our “backpack”—honesty, and start the wonder-ful journey!
●Key to Enjoy Your Day with Gratitude: ①coins ②turned ③walked by ④had changed ⑤effective
●Key to Russian Soldiers Finally Replacing Foot Wraps with Socks: Because socks are more suitable than foot wraps, and for a modern army, foot wraps are outdated.
●Key to What Space Smells Like: A
各地民俗
“东瓶西镜放,恨不能遗忘”
许嵩在《清明雨上》中唱道:“东瓶西镜放,恨不能遗忘。”作为徽州文化和民俗的重要组成部分,安徽省徽州地区的人们仍然保留着“东瓶西镜放”的习惯。几乎每家每户的客厅里都有一张长案桌,桌上东面放花瓶,西面放镜子,中间放一座时鸣钟,每到整点,响起的钟声,配合着花瓶、镜子,体现了“终身平静(钟声瓶镜)”的美好寓意。“东瓶西镜放”体现了当地人不事张扬、追求宁静的生活处事态度。
在我们的生活中,或多或少地存在着不诚信的现象。请你就“诚信”这个话题写一篇100~120词的英语短文。文章须包括以下要点:
(1) 生活中确实存在不讲诚信的现象;
(2) 举一例说明(如毒奶粉事件、考试作弊现象);
(3) 阐述诚信的意义。
要求: ①可以适当增加细节,使行文连贯;
②首句已经给出,不计入总词数。
参考词汇: 毒奶粉poisoned milk powder;作弊cheat
Almost all of us heard the story “Here Comes the Wolf” when we were little kids.
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
这个作文题要求同学们通过讲述社会上或者自己身边不诚信的现象,揭示“诚信”的现实意义。从文体上看,这应是一篇叙议结合的文章。对于诚信,每个同学都有体会,题目中也为举例说明提供了参考,所以文章要做到言之有物还是比较容易的。写作的难点主要在于如何由叙述引发议论,在言之有物之外更要做到言之有理。
来看下面这篇短文。
Almost all of us heard the story “Here Comes the Wolf” when we were little kids. There’re some phenomena of dishonesty nowadays.
Being dishonest does great harm not only to other people but also to yourself. Take the case of poisoned milk powder for example. After drinking this kind of milk, babies have big heads while their legs and arms are thin, which badly affects their health. The producers got punished for all the serious consequences in the end.
Having the reputation of being honest and reliable will make other people trust you, which will provide you with many benefits and give you opportunities that others may not get. In a sense, if life is a long journey, honesty will be the backpack that should be taken along all the way. Let’s pick up our “backpack”—honesty, and start the wonderful journey!
【点评】 模拟得分:18分
这篇短文结构清晰、层次分明,第一段点明主题“诚信问题”,第二段列举了毒奶粉事件的严重后果,第三段阐述诚信的意义。语言上,作者能熟练地使用非谓语动词和从句,可见具有一定的写作功底。但这篇文章还是存在一些值得同学们注意的问题。
(1) 时态前后不一。
第二段在叙述毒奶粉事件时,最后一句The producers got punished for all the serious consequences in the end用的是一般过去时,但前面一句After drinking this kind of milk, babies have big heads while their legs and arms are thin, which badly affects their health却用一般现在时。毒奶粉事件是已经发生的,应把After drinking this kind of milk ... which badly affects their health一句改成过去时,使时态前后一致。
(2) 部分地方语序不佳,导致文意不连贯。
第二段从第二句Take the case of poisoned milk powder for example开始到最后,讲述了现实生活中的不诚信现象,这部分与第一段最后一句There are some phenomena of dishonesty nowadays在意义上连接得更紧密一些,把这部分内容调整至段首更合适。而第二段的首句Being dishonest does great harm not only to other people but also to yourself,表达了“不诚信对人对己都有危害”这一观点,不妨将此作为由不诚信现象得出的结论,移至第二段末尾。
(3) 句子之间、段落之间承接不自然。
第一段的两个句子之间语意跳跃,若在中间加上What we can learn from the story is that we must be honest一句,把“儿时的故事”与“社会上存在不诚信的现象”有机地联系起来,语意会连贯得多。 第二段After drinking this kind of milk ... which badly affects their health一句讲述毒奶粉的直接危害,紧接着的The producers got punished for all the serious consequences in the end一句说的是对不诚信的商业行为的处置,这两句之间缺乏过渡,应添加to our relief 或to our delight这样的短语,使句意承接顺畅。
一篇赏心悦目的佳作除了要结构清晰、语言表达地道之外,还要文意连贯。从上面的例子可见,合理安排语序、恰当使用过渡词句,可以实现句与句之间、段与段之间意义的连贯,借助“形连”达到“意连”,使文章论证更清晰、说理更有力。所以同学们在平时的写作中,务必要有意识地思考如何从连贯的角度让自己的文章更上一层楼。
【修改后】 模拟得分:23分
Almost all of us heard the story “Here Comes the Wolf” when we were little kids. What we can learn from the story is that we must be honest. However, there’re lots of phenomena of dishonesty nowadays.
Take the case of poisoned milk powder for example. After drinking this kind of milk, babies had big heads while their legs and arms were thin, which badly affected their health. To our great relief, the producers got punished for all the serious consequences in the end. Thereby, being dishonest does great harm not only to other people but also to oneself.
Having the reputation of being honest and reliable will make other people trust you,which will provide you with many benefits and give you opportunities that others may not get. In a sense, if life is a long journey, honesty will be the backpack that should be taken along all the way. Let’s pick up our “backpack”—honesty, and start the wonder-ful journey!
●Key to Enjoy Your Day with Gratitude: ①coins ②turned ③walked by ④had changed ⑤effective
●Key to Russian Soldiers Finally Replacing Foot Wraps with Socks: Because socks are more suitable than foot wraps, and for a modern army, foot wraps are outdated.
●Key to What Space Smells Like: A
各地民俗
“东瓶西镜放,恨不能遗忘”
许嵩在《清明雨上》中唱道:“东瓶西镜放,恨不能遗忘。”作为徽州文化和民俗的重要组成部分,安徽省徽州地区的人们仍然保留着“东瓶西镜放”的习惯。几乎每家每户的客厅里都有一张长案桌,桌上东面放花瓶,西面放镜子,中间放一座时鸣钟,每到整点,响起的钟声,配合着花瓶、镜子,体现了“终身平静(钟声瓶镜)”的美好寓意。“东瓶西镜放”体现了当地人不事张扬、追求宁静的生活处事态度。