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处在青涩岁月中的孩子经常会感到迷惘和无助,在这样的情况下,家就是他们心灵的港湾,是情绪的出口,是在外受伤跌倒时可以疗伤止痛、补充能量的地方。而父亲则是臂膀,是脊梁,是孩子力量的源泉。
I had a difficult breakup1 in high school, but I got through it eventually. It owed to my dad.
When most of my friends were bickering2 with their fathers, I was looking to mine for guidance. He knew more about me than anyone, even myself at times. He traveled for work and so he’d be gone. Most people assumed we had a distant relationship because he was not home very often. But we thrived under this situation because we talked every night by phone, and he made his support known when he couldn’t be present.
One night my world just collapsed, and it was my dad who was able to pick up the pieces.
My first true love called from a party and broke my heart. He offered little explanation and this made the situation all the more difficult to accept. In that one quick phone call I lost my boyfriend and best friend, a comfort I had enjoyed for the past year and a half. I was sure I was the most miserable fifteen-year-old in the world—lost and lonely. It felt like everyone else’s life could just continue on in its normal way, but mine couldn’t. I would no longer spend hours on the phone with him each night, and his house would no longer be my home away from home.
I was forced to deal with my regular routine on Monday morning, as Mom went to work, Dad flew out on business and I went to school. Dad wouldn’t return until Friday. I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to face everyone and their gossip at school. I was right: The questions and the whispering started around second period.
I returned home from school feeling completely defeated. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and wallow3 in my own self-pity. I pulled back the covers on my bed and discovered a pile of cards left by my dad. I recognized the “calligraphy4” instantly. Each card included an instruction that it was to be opened on a particular night that week. He was faraway and still my dad was able to show he cared.
I made it through that week because of him. Each card seemed to say just what I needed to hear. Tuesday’s card said, “The past is painful to think about and the future is impossible to envision5. Don’t try. Just take it one minute at a time.” On Wednesday my mood lifted when I read, “What you are feeling now is natural and normal. It still feels lousy, but it is part of the healing process.” Friday’s card contained a poem he wrote. The last lines made me smile through my tears. “Whatever special challenges you face along life’s way \ May you trust that you will find the best in every day.” I was instructed to open the last card after the party I went to on Saturday night. In it he sagely6 reminded me to laugh. “The world isn’t so bad after a good laugh. The more you laugh, the more you heal.” Each card was signed, “Love, Dad.”
Even just flipping through the cards made me feel better in the weeks to come. I looked through them most days until I started to forget about them. It was then that I knew that I was healing.
上中学的时候,我有过一次痛苦的情感破裂经历,但我最终还是走出了困境。这一切都归功于我的爸爸。
当大多数朋友正和爸爸争吵的时候,我却在向爸爸寻求指导。他比任何人都更了解我,有时候甚至比我自己还要了解我。他在外地工作,因此他经常外出。大多数人认为我们的关系比较疏远,因为他经常不在家。但是,因为每天晚上都通过电话交谈,我们的亲情与日俱增。即使不在家,他也会让我知道他对我的支持。
一天晚上,我的世界崩溃了,只有爸爸能够把那些碎片拾掇起来。
我的初恋情人从一个聚会上打电话过来,彻底伤了我的心。他几乎没有给我任何解释,这让我更难以接受。在短短的电话中,我失去了男朋友兼知己,失去了在过去一年半的岁月中给我安慰的人。我认为自己是世界上最悲惨的15岁女孩——迷惑而孤独。我觉得似乎每个人的生活都能够按照正常的方式继续下去,但我的却不能了。我再也不能每天晚上与他通几个小时的电话了,他的家也不再是我离开家时的去处了。
星期一早上,我仍然被迫按部就班地生活。当妈妈去上班、爸爸坐飞机去工作的时候,我去学校上学。爸爸要到星期五才会回来。我不知道该如何面对学校的每一个人以及他们的闲言碎语。我的判断是正确的:询问和流言飞语从第二节课开始向我围攻。
从学校回到家,我感觉自己彻底崩溃了。我只想爬上床,独自伤心。我把床上的被子向后拉,发现了爸爸留给我的一叠卡片。我立刻认出了上面的笔迹。每一张卡片上都有一个指示,告诉我在那个星期的一个特定的晚上把它打开。爸爸虽然与我相隔甚远,但仍能够表达对我的关心。
因为有爸爸,我才能够度过那个星期。似乎每一张卡片上的内容都正是我需要听到的。星期二的卡片上说:“想过去的事是痛苦的,而未来是不可预料的。不必勉强,只需顺其自然。”星期三,当我读到“你现在的感觉是自然的,正常的。虽然仍然很痛苦,但这是恢复过程中的一部分”的时候,我的心情明朗多了。星期五的卡片上有他写的一首诗。诗的最后一行让我破涕为笑了。“不管生命中存在何种挑战,坚信每天都能找到属于你的灿烂。”最后一张卡片指示我在星期六晚上参加完聚会回来后打开它。他在卡片中睿智地提醒我要笑。“一阵开怀大笑后,世界就不会那么糟了。你笑得越多,你恢复得就越快。”每一张卡片上都签署着:“爱你的,爸爸。”
在接下来的几星期里,即使只是翻翻这些卡片,我都会觉得好受些。我经常翻看它们,直到开始淡忘。正是在那时,我知道我正在恢复。
檀木柳 摘译自 My Family
I had a difficult breakup1 in high school, but I got through it eventually. It owed to my dad.
When most of my friends were bickering2 with their fathers, I was looking to mine for guidance. He knew more about me than anyone, even myself at times. He traveled for work and so he’d be gone. Most people assumed we had a distant relationship because he was not home very often. But we thrived under this situation because we talked every night by phone, and he made his support known when he couldn’t be present.
One night my world just collapsed, and it was my dad who was able to pick up the pieces.
My first true love called from a party and broke my heart. He offered little explanation and this made the situation all the more difficult to accept. In that one quick phone call I lost my boyfriend and best friend, a comfort I had enjoyed for the past year and a half. I was sure I was the most miserable fifteen-year-old in the world—lost and lonely. It felt like everyone else’s life could just continue on in its normal way, but mine couldn’t. I would no longer spend hours on the phone with him each night, and his house would no longer be my home away from home.
I was forced to deal with my regular routine on Monday morning, as Mom went to work, Dad flew out on business and I went to school. Dad wouldn’t return until Friday. I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to face everyone and their gossip at school. I was right: The questions and the whispering started around second period.
I returned home from school feeling completely defeated. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and wallow3 in my own self-pity. I pulled back the covers on my bed and discovered a pile of cards left by my dad. I recognized the “calligraphy4” instantly. Each card included an instruction that it was to be opened on a particular night that week. He was faraway and still my dad was able to show he cared.
I made it through that week because of him. Each card seemed to say just what I needed to hear. Tuesday’s card said, “The past is painful to think about and the future is impossible to envision5. Don’t try. Just take it one minute at a time.” On Wednesday my mood lifted when I read, “What you are feeling now is natural and normal. It still feels lousy, but it is part of the healing process.” Friday’s card contained a poem he wrote. The last lines made me smile through my tears. “Whatever special challenges you face along life’s way \ May you trust that you will find the best in every day.” I was instructed to open the last card after the party I went to on Saturday night. In it he sagely6 reminded me to laugh. “The world isn’t so bad after a good laugh. The more you laugh, the more you heal.” Each card was signed, “Love, Dad.”
Even just flipping through the cards made me feel better in the weeks to come. I looked through them most days until I started to forget about them. It was then that I knew that I was healing.
上中学的时候,我有过一次痛苦的情感破裂经历,但我最终还是走出了困境。这一切都归功于我的爸爸。
当大多数朋友正和爸爸争吵的时候,我却在向爸爸寻求指导。他比任何人都更了解我,有时候甚至比我自己还要了解我。他在外地工作,因此他经常外出。大多数人认为我们的关系比较疏远,因为他经常不在家。但是,因为每天晚上都通过电话交谈,我们的亲情与日俱增。即使不在家,他也会让我知道他对我的支持。
一天晚上,我的世界崩溃了,只有爸爸能够把那些碎片拾掇起来。
我的初恋情人从一个聚会上打电话过来,彻底伤了我的心。他几乎没有给我任何解释,这让我更难以接受。在短短的电话中,我失去了男朋友兼知己,失去了在过去一年半的岁月中给我安慰的人。我认为自己是世界上最悲惨的15岁女孩——迷惑而孤独。我觉得似乎每个人的生活都能够按照正常的方式继续下去,但我的却不能了。我再也不能每天晚上与他通几个小时的电话了,他的家也不再是我离开家时的去处了。
星期一早上,我仍然被迫按部就班地生活。当妈妈去上班、爸爸坐飞机去工作的时候,我去学校上学。爸爸要到星期五才会回来。我不知道该如何面对学校的每一个人以及他们的闲言碎语。我的判断是正确的:询问和流言飞语从第二节课开始向我围攻。
从学校回到家,我感觉自己彻底崩溃了。我只想爬上床,独自伤心。我把床上的被子向后拉,发现了爸爸留给我的一叠卡片。我立刻认出了上面的笔迹。每一张卡片上都有一个指示,告诉我在那个星期的一个特定的晚上把它打开。爸爸虽然与我相隔甚远,但仍能够表达对我的关心。
因为有爸爸,我才能够度过那个星期。似乎每一张卡片上的内容都正是我需要听到的。星期二的卡片上说:“想过去的事是痛苦的,而未来是不可预料的。不必勉强,只需顺其自然。”星期三,当我读到“你现在的感觉是自然的,正常的。虽然仍然很痛苦,但这是恢复过程中的一部分”的时候,我的心情明朗多了。星期五的卡片上有他写的一首诗。诗的最后一行让我破涕为笑了。“不管生命中存在何种挑战,坚信每天都能找到属于你的灿烂。”最后一张卡片指示我在星期六晚上参加完聚会回来后打开它。他在卡片中睿智地提醒我要笑。“一阵开怀大笑后,世界就不会那么糟了。你笑得越多,你恢复得就越快。”每一张卡片上都签署着:“爱你的,爸爸。”
在接下来的几星期里,即使只是翻翻这些卡片,我都会觉得好受些。我经常翻看它们,直到开始淡忘。正是在那时,我知道我正在恢复。
檀木柳 摘译自 My Family