论文部分内容阅读
I really tried hard to be the man of the house. I mowed the lawn and changed the oil in the car. This is all well and good, but the 2)down side is, my wife didn’t cook three meals a day, and really didn’t have a clue as to what her responsibilities should be.
Shortly after we got married, we moved away and had to start sharing domestic responsibilities. For the next couple of years, it was pretty much, “I’ll cook and you’ll do the dishes.” A workable system, definitely.
Then, 3)the rug was pulled out from under my 4)macho feet. My wife, who was the family’s primary breadwinner, got transferred to a considerably smaller town. As a result, after moving there with her, I had avery difficult time finding suitable employment. I did work here and there, but none of my new jobs lasted more than a week, or so. The main factor was salary. The closest I came to the salary I had been making to that time was less than a half of my previous earnings.
This caused a dramatic change in our lifestyle. Daily expenses, alone, exceeded my earnings. It was economically far more realistic for me to stay home with our two boys, rather than go to work. Several times my wife suggested the idea of me staying home, but I didn’t want to do that. It was not that I couldn’t. Rather, I didn’t want to. Finally, however, I ran out of options, and agreed to do it.
I would never forget my first day as a housekeeper. Our younger child had 5)soiled his diapers. Since it was already noon, I didn’t think it would be 6)a big deal if we waited for Mom to come home for lunch. When she arrived, she changed him and asked how long he had been in that diaper. I told her I had just noticed he was 7)stinky a few minutes before she got home. The same excuse was waiting for her when she got home from work that night. She 8)hit the roof! Evidently, he had gotten a 9)rash on his 10)butt, and I was the cause. I assured her I had changed him during the day, and she settled down. But I knew I had dodged a bullet.
The next morning I resigned myself to changing diapers. The routine with the boys seemed all well and good until I had run out of diapers. I discovered the benefit of laundry. It wasn’t that I didn’t know how to do it. Rather it just hadn’t occurred to me that it needed to be done. Once I had 11)gotten the hang of it, I started noticing other aspects of the housework that I had neglected.
I actually started to enjoy keeping house. My domestic life was getting somewhat more enjoyable, although, I kept my daytime occupation a secret from my friends.
One Saturday evening we had friends over for dinner. Somehow, the question about my job came up. Before I could answer, my wife told them I was a stay-at-home dad. Our friends laughed, and then asked what I really did for a living. Again, my wife told them that I stayed home with the kids, while she worked. The laughter started to wane, and the next thing I knew—they had to leave. Evidently, there was something 12)pressing at home that needed their immediate attention. I found that a bit strange, and had an awkward feeling about their reasons as they left. I told my wife that they must have felt uncomfortable. Perhaps it was because their children had broken two pieces of my green glass collection.
The following weekend we were invited to a birthday party for one of our friend’s children. When we got there everything was great. The men stood in the yard, drinking beer, while the women were busy setting up the table with all the 13)condiments that go with good barbeque. One lady at the party asked her husband to run to the store for some 14)mayonnaise. But we were fifteen miles out of town. I asked how much mayonnaise she needed. She told me that she only needed a cup, or so. 15)On the spur of the moment, I asked if she had oil, eggs and a 16)hand blender. She did. And so, I went inside and made her a couple of cups of mayonnaise. Having completed that, I returned to the yard.
When I resumed my position with the guys, they asked about where I’d been. I told them I had just taught the women how to make mayonnaise. It was at this time the jokes started. I felt really hurt by the 17)jeers and tried to 18)downplay them by saying my mother used to make me help her cook. One of the guys 19)went so far as to get an 20)apron from the house and offer it to me. Why is it that a man is supposed to barbeque, but is not allowed to clean house?
Later that evening at home, my wife asked me if I had fun at the party. I told her I really had not had as good a time as I’d hoped. I told her about the teasing. She told me the girls had all commented on how wonderful it would be to have a man who would change diapers around the house, continually asking her if this was, indeed, true.
The longer I thought about it, the angrier I became. So what if one guy is a 21)welder and the other takes care of the house. What does it matter?
After this, I became proud of what I was doing and was very open about it. I no longer had reservations about telling people. I did find people’s reactions to my daily routine anywhere from disturbing to totally ignorant. I lost many of my friends within the neighborhood because of this, but I really didn’t mind.
我真的很努力地做“家庭主父”。我修剪草坪，给汽车加油。这一切都做得很好。然而让我感到沮丧的是，我妻子一日三餐都不做饭，也真的不清楚自己有何责任。
我们婚后不久就搬出去住，并开始分担家务。头几年，大致是“我做饭，你洗碗”。这无疑是一个可行的分工系统。
然后，突如其来的变化，使我顿时失去了堂堂男子汉的立足之地。我妻子是家庭收入的主要支柱，她被调到一个相对较小的镇上工作。我跟随她搬家以后，很难找到合适的工作。我东干干西干干，每份工作都做不到一个星期以上。主要是薪水问题。那时我薪水最高的一份工作，收入还不及从前的一半。
这导致了我们生活方式的极大改变。光是日常开支就超过了我赚的钱。我不去上班，待在家里照顾两个儿子，在经济开支上是非常现实的选择。我妻子好几次建议我留在家里，但我不想这么做。不是我做不到，而是我不愿意。然而最后迫于无奈，我同意了。
我永远不会忘记自己第一天做“家庭主父”的生活。我们的小儿子尿了裤子。因为已经是中午，我认为等到他妈妈回来吃午餐时再处理也无所谓。她回来后帮孩子换了尿布，然后问我孩子裹着尿布里多久了。我告诉她，在她回来几分钟前，我才发现孩子尿了裤子。当晚她下班回家，同样的事，我又用同样的话来解释。她发火了！孩子的屁股上显然起了红斑，而这是我造成的。我向她保证我白天帮孩子换过尿布，她这才冷静下来。但我知道自己是侥幸躲过一劫。
第二天早上，我接受了帮孩子换尿布的工作。照看孩子的例行事务似乎很顺利，直到尿布用完了。我发现了洗衣服的好处。不是我以前不知道怎么洗，而是我没想到要洗衣服。我一掌握了洗衣服的方法，就开始留意到我之前忽略了的其他家务。
事实上，我开始喜欢上做家务活。我的“家庭主父”生活变得更惬意了，虽然在朋友面前，我对自己白天的职业讳莫如深。
一个周六的晚上，我们邀请了一些朋友来吃饭。不知为何，有人问起我的工作。我还没回答，我妻子就告诉他们我是一名“家庭主父”。朋友们都笑了，然后问我真正的职业是什么。我妻子再次告诉他们只有她在工作，我在家带孩子。笑声开始稀落下来，接下来我知道的是他们要告辞了。他们的意思显然是说，家里有急事需要马上回去。我感觉有点奇怪，他们告辞的理由也让我觉得牵强。我对妻子说，他们一定是感觉待在这里不舒服。也许是因为他们的孩子打破了我收藏的两块绿玻璃吧。
接下来的那个周末，我们应邀参加我们一个朋友的孩子的生日聚会。我们到达那里时，一切都好极了。男人们站在院子里喝啤酒，女人们则在摆桌子，把烧烤所需的极佳调味品放在上面。有位女士让丈夫赶去商店买一些蛋黄酱。但我们离城区有15英里（24000米）远，于是我便问她需要多少蛋黄酱。她告诉我她只需要一杯左右。我想都没想就问她有没有油、鸡蛋和手摇搅拌器。她说有。于是我走进屋里，帮她制作了几杯蛋黄酱。做好以后，我回到院子里。
当我回到哥们当中，他们问我刚才去哪里了。我告诉他们我不过是去教那些女人制作蛋黄酱而已。这时候他们开始取笑我。我大受伤害，试着不去理会他们的嘲笑，说我妈妈以前常让我帮厨。有个哥们竟然还进屋找了条围裙递给我。为什么男人可以烧烤，却不能打扫房子？
当晚回到家后，我妻子问我在聚会上玩得开不开心，我告诉她我其实大失所望，并讲了我被奚落的事。她告诉我，女人们都评论说，能有一个男人在家里帮着给孩子换尿布是多么棒的事，并不断问她这是不是真的。
我越想越气。一个男人当焊接工，而另一个男人做家庭主父，这又能说明什么？有什么要紧的？
从此，我对我的工作变得自豪起来，并完全公开了。我不再对人隐瞒我是“家庭主父”，而大家的反应或令我厌烦，或显得很无知，什么样的都有。为此我失去了附近的许多朋友，但我真的无所谓。
Shortly after we got married, we moved away and had to start sharing domestic responsibilities. For the next couple of years, it was pretty much, “I’ll cook and you’ll do the dishes.” A workable system, definitely.
Then, 3)the rug was pulled out from under my 4)macho feet. My wife, who was the family’s primary breadwinner, got transferred to a considerably smaller town. As a result, after moving there with her, I had avery difficult time finding suitable employment. I did work here and there, but none of my new jobs lasted more than a week, or so. The main factor was salary. The closest I came to the salary I had been making to that time was less than a half of my previous earnings.
This caused a dramatic change in our lifestyle. Daily expenses, alone, exceeded my earnings. It was economically far more realistic for me to stay home with our two boys, rather than go to work. Several times my wife suggested the idea of me staying home, but I didn’t want to do that. It was not that I couldn’t. Rather, I didn’t want to. Finally, however, I ran out of options, and agreed to do it.
I would never forget my first day as a housekeeper. Our younger child had 5)soiled his diapers. Since it was already noon, I didn’t think it would be 6)a big deal if we waited for Mom to come home for lunch. When she arrived, she changed him and asked how long he had been in that diaper. I told her I had just noticed he was 7)stinky a few minutes before she got home. The same excuse was waiting for her when she got home from work that night. She 8)hit the roof! Evidently, he had gotten a 9)rash on his 10)butt, and I was the cause. I assured her I had changed him during the day, and she settled down. But I knew I had dodged a bullet.
The next morning I resigned myself to changing diapers. The routine with the boys seemed all well and good until I had run out of diapers. I discovered the benefit of laundry. It wasn’t that I didn’t know how to do it. Rather it just hadn’t occurred to me that it needed to be done. Once I had 11)gotten the hang of it, I started noticing other aspects of the housework that I had neglected.
I actually started to enjoy keeping house. My domestic life was getting somewhat more enjoyable, although, I kept my daytime occupation a secret from my friends.
One Saturday evening we had friends over for dinner. Somehow, the question about my job came up. Before I could answer, my wife told them I was a stay-at-home dad. Our friends laughed, and then asked what I really did for a living. Again, my wife told them that I stayed home with the kids, while she worked. The laughter started to wane, and the next thing I knew—they had to leave. Evidently, there was something 12)pressing at home that needed their immediate attention. I found that a bit strange, and had an awkward feeling about their reasons as they left. I told my wife that they must have felt uncomfortable. Perhaps it was because their children had broken two pieces of my green glass collection.
The following weekend we were invited to a birthday party for one of our friend’s children. When we got there everything was great. The men stood in the yard, drinking beer, while the women were busy setting up the table with all the 13)condiments that go with good barbeque. One lady at the party asked her husband to run to the store for some 14)mayonnaise. But we were fifteen miles out of town. I asked how much mayonnaise she needed. She told me that she only needed a cup, or so. 15)On the spur of the moment, I asked if she had oil, eggs and a 16)hand blender. She did. And so, I went inside and made her a couple of cups of mayonnaise. Having completed that, I returned to the yard.
When I resumed my position with the guys, they asked about where I’d been. I told them I had just taught the women how to make mayonnaise. It was at this time the jokes started. I felt really hurt by the 17)jeers and tried to 18)downplay them by saying my mother used to make me help her cook. One of the guys 19)went so far as to get an 20)apron from the house and offer it to me. Why is it that a man is supposed to barbeque, but is not allowed to clean house?
Later that evening at home, my wife asked me if I had fun at the party. I told her I really had not had as good a time as I’d hoped. I told her about the teasing. She told me the girls had all commented on how wonderful it would be to have a man who would change diapers around the house, continually asking her if this was, indeed, true.
The longer I thought about it, the angrier I became. So what if one guy is a 21)welder and the other takes care of the house. What does it matter?
After this, I became proud of what I was doing and was very open about it. I no longer had reservations about telling people. I did find people’s reactions to my daily routine anywhere from disturbing to totally ignorant. I lost many of my friends within the neighborhood because of this, but I really didn’t mind.
我真的很努力地做“家庭主父”。我修剪草坪，给汽车加油。这一切都做得很好。然而让我感到沮丧的是，我妻子一日三餐都不做饭，也真的不清楚自己有何责任。
我们婚后不久就搬出去住，并开始分担家务。头几年，大致是“我做饭，你洗碗”。这无疑是一个可行的分工系统。
然后，突如其来的变化，使我顿时失去了堂堂男子汉的立足之地。我妻子是家庭收入的主要支柱，她被调到一个相对较小的镇上工作。我跟随她搬家以后，很难找到合适的工作。我东干干西干干，每份工作都做不到一个星期以上。主要是薪水问题。那时我薪水最高的一份工作，收入还不及从前的一半。
这导致了我们生活方式的极大改变。光是日常开支就超过了我赚的钱。我不去上班，待在家里照顾两个儿子，在经济开支上是非常现实的选择。我妻子好几次建议我留在家里，但我不想这么做。不是我做不到，而是我不愿意。然而最后迫于无奈，我同意了。
我永远不会忘记自己第一天做“家庭主父”的生活。我们的小儿子尿了裤子。因为已经是中午，我认为等到他妈妈回来吃午餐时再处理也无所谓。她回来后帮孩子换了尿布，然后问我孩子裹着尿布里多久了。我告诉她，在她回来几分钟前，我才发现孩子尿了裤子。当晚她下班回家，同样的事，我又用同样的话来解释。她发火了！孩子的屁股上显然起了红斑，而这是我造成的。我向她保证我白天帮孩子换过尿布，她这才冷静下来。但我知道自己是侥幸躲过一劫。
第二天早上，我接受了帮孩子换尿布的工作。照看孩子的例行事务似乎很顺利，直到尿布用完了。我发现了洗衣服的好处。不是我以前不知道怎么洗，而是我没想到要洗衣服。我一掌握了洗衣服的方法，就开始留意到我之前忽略了的其他家务。
事实上，我开始喜欢上做家务活。我的“家庭主父”生活变得更惬意了，虽然在朋友面前，我对自己白天的职业讳莫如深。
一个周六的晚上，我们邀请了一些朋友来吃饭。不知为何，有人问起我的工作。我还没回答，我妻子就告诉他们我是一名“家庭主父”。朋友们都笑了，然后问我真正的职业是什么。我妻子再次告诉他们只有她在工作，我在家带孩子。笑声开始稀落下来，接下来我知道的是他们要告辞了。他们的意思显然是说，家里有急事需要马上回去。我感觉有点奇怪，他们告辞的理由也让我觉得牵强。我对妻子说，他们一定是感觉待在这里不舒服。也许是因为他们的孩子打破了我收藏的两块绿玻璃吧。
接下来的那个周末，我们应邀参加我们一个朋友的孩子的生日聚会。我们到达那里时，一切都好极了。男人们站在院子里喝啤酒，女人们则在摆桌子，把烧烤所需的极佳调味品放在上面。有位女士让丈夫赶去商店买一些蛋黄酱。但我们离城区有15英里（24000米）远，于是我便问她需要多少蛋黄酱。她告诉我她只需要一杯左右。我想都没想就问她有没有油、鸡蛋和手摇搅拌器。她说有。于是我走进屋里，帮她制作了几杯蛋黄酱。做好以后，我回到院子里。
当我回到哥们当中，他们问我刚才去哪里了。我告诉他们我不过是去教那些女人制作蛋黄酱而已。这时候他们开始取笑我。我大受伤害，试着不去理会他们的嘲笑，说我妈妈以前常让我帮厨。有个哥们竟然还进屋找了条围裙递给我。为什么男人可以烧烤，却不能打扫房子？
当晚回到家后，我妻子问我在聚会上玩得开不开心，我告诉她我其实大失所望，并讲了我被奚落的事。她告诉我，女人们都评论说，能有一个男人在家里帮着给孩子换尿布是多么棒的事，并不断问她这是不是真的。
我越想越气。一个男人当焊接工，而另一个男人做家庭主父，这又能说明什么？有什么要紧的？
从此，我对我的工作变得自豪起来，并完全公开了。我不再对人隐瞒我是“家庭主父”，而大家的反应或令我厌烦，或显得很无知，什么样的都有。为此我失去了附近的许多朋友，但我真的无所谓。