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A girl in high school I met my junior year. And I guess what makes it my first love is it was the first relationship I’d had that made me question what love was. Because she was younger than I was, and I always wanted—I was an only child—and I was…always wanted a younger sister I thought that would be really cool.
And so we became really close friends, you know, she’d just moved to the area, so she was kind of lonely, didn’t have many people to talk to, so we became close and we were friends.
And so I thought of her as sort of a younger sister, and her as an older brother because she had two younger brothers. We talked all the time. We often, you know, go to sleep talking to each other on the phone or whatever.
But after a while, I think…it was just…well, we were, we were really young and the feelings we had were really strong, and so we sort of started drifting apart, or fighting, or things like that and we didn’t quite know how to handle it.
And, and we were fighting more and more. And so at one point, we just sort of, or she stopped talking to me, basically.
So we used to meet each other before school every day at this one spot. So, when she stopped talking to me, she also stopped coming to this spot—this bench by the music room (we both were in orchestra).
And so, for the next seven months, I went to this spot every day, waiting for her, just to see if she was there. Because I felt like, you know, if you love someone, you’re there for them all the time. But it was really difficult for me because I didn’t know what to do or how to treat someone who I cared about but who wasn’t responding to me.
And so, that was a time when I really wondered what love was and what it meant and what it costs, I guess. And so, we eventually worked it out, and we’re still relatively good friends today. And I guess that’s why it’s my first love, because it’s what made me question what love was.
I apply that definition to the other people who I say I love, or when I hear people say “love,” or when I love someone I tell them I love them. Then I sort of mean it—even if you don’t speak to me for seven months I will still love you, I will still be there for you.
And obviously that’s a very intense kind of thing, it’s not always a good thing, necessarily, for a relationship, but that’s how I view it because that’s how I was…had to define it when I was younger.
那年我爱过的女孩
那是一个我上初中时遇到的女孩。我觉得之所以说那是我的初恋是因为那是第一段让我思考何为“爱”的感情。因为她比我小，而我是个独生子，我总是希望有个妹妹，我觉得这会很酷。
于是，我们成为了很亲密的朋友，你知道，她初来乍到，感觉孤单，没有什么倾诉的对象，所以我们关系亲密，而且成了朋友。
一开始我只是视她为妹妹，而她也视我为哥哥，因为她有两个弟弟。我们总是说个没完。我们经常会，你知道，说着电话就睡着了什么的。
但一段时间后，我觉得……那就是……嗯，我们……我们太年轻了，感情也太强烈，于是，我们开始变得疏远，又或是吵架，诸如此类的，但我们都不知道如何处理这种事情。
我们吵得越来越多。于是那时，我们就是，或者说她基本上不跟我说话了。
我们以前总是每天上课前在某个地方碰面。所以，当她不跟我说话了之后，她也不再到这地方来了——就是音乐室的一张长凳（我们都是管弦乐队的）。
于是，之后的七个月里，我每天都到这个地方去等她，只是为了看看她会不会在那儿。因为我觉得，你知道，如果你爱一个人，你总会在那里等着她。但那对我来说实在太艰难了，因为我不知道要怎么做，不知道如何对待我在乎但却不给我回应的人。
所以，我想，就是那段时间，我真正思考什么是爱情，爱情的含义以及爱情的价值。后来，我们重修旧好，直到现在我们还是相当好的朋友。我觉得那之所以说是我的初恋是因为那是第一段让我思考何为“爱”的感情。
我将此想法推及我所爱的其他人，或者说当我听到人们说“爱”这个字时，或者当我爱某人的时候，我会告诉他们我爱他们。我是非常认真的——尽管你有七个月不跟我说话，但我依然爱你，我依然会在那里等你。
很明显，那是非常强烈的情感，但那对一段感情来说并不一定是好事，但那就是我对爱的看法，因为那是我在年轻的时候形成的想法。
And so we became really close friends, you know, she’d just moved to the area, so she was kind of lonely, didn’t have many people to talk to, so we became close and we were friends.
And so I thought of her as sort of a younger sister, and her as an older brother because she had two younger brothers. We talked all the time. We often, you know, go to sleep talking to each other on the phone or whatever.
But after a while, I think…it was just…well, we were, we were really young and the feelings we had were really strong, and so we sort of started drifting apart, or fighting, or things like that and we didn’t quite know how to handle it.
And, and we were fighting more and more. And so at one point, we just sort of, or she stopped talking to me, basically.
So we used to meet each other before school every day at this one spot. So, when she stopped talking to me, she also stopped coming to this spot—this bench by the music room (we both were in orchestra).
And so, for the next seven months, I went to this spot every day, waiting for her, just to see if she was there. Because I felt like, you know, if you love someone, you’re there for them all the time. But it was really difficult for me because I didn’t know what to do or how to treat someone who I cared about but who wasn’t responding to me.
And so, that was a time when I really wondered what love was and what it meant and what it costs, I guess. And so, we eventually worked it out, and we’re still relatively good friends today. And I guess that’s why it’s my first love, because it’s what made me question what love was.
I apply that definition to the other people who I say I love, or when I hear people say “love,” or when I love someone I tell them I love them. Then I sort of mean it—even if you don’t speak to me for seven months I will still love you, I will still be there for you.
And obviously that’s a very intense kind of thing, it’s not always a good thing, necessarily, for a relationship, but that’s how I view it because that’s how I was…had to define it when I was younger.
那年我爱过的女孩
那是一个我上初中时遇到的女孩。我觉得之所以说那是我的初恋是因为那是第一段让我思考何为“爱”的感情。因为她比我小，而我是个独生子，我总是希望有个妹妹，我觉得这会很酷。
于是，我们成为了很亲密的朋友，你知道，她初来乍到，感觉孤单，没有什么倾诉的对象，所以我们关系亲密，而且成了朋友。
一开始我只是视她为妹妹，而她也视我为哥哥，因为她有两个弟弟。我们总是说个没完。我们经常会，你知道，说着电话就睡着了什么的。
但一段时间后，我觉得……那就是……嗯，我们……我们太年轻了，感情也太强烈，于是，我们开始变得疏远，又或是吵架，诸如此类的，但我们都不知道如何处理这种事情。
我们吵得越来越多。于是那时，我们就是，或者说她基本上不跟我说话了。
我们以前总是每天上课前在某个地方碰面。所以，当她不跟我说话了之后，她也不再到这地方来了——就是音乐室的一张长凳（我们都是管弦乐队的）。
于是，之后的七个月里，我每天都到这个地方去等她，只是为了看看她会不会在那儿。因为我觉得，你知道，如果你爱一个人，你总会在那里等着她。但那对我来说实在太艰难了，因为我不知道要怎么做，不知道如何对待我在乎但却不给我回应的人。
所以，我想，就是那段时间，我真正思考什么是爱情，爱情的含义以及爱情的价值。后来，我们重修旧好，直到现在我们还是相当好的朋友。我觉得那之所以说是我的初恋是因为那是第一段让我思考何为“爱”的感情。
我将此想法推及我所爱的其他人，或者说当我听到人们说“爱”这个字时，或者当我爱某人的时候，我会告诉他们我爱他们。我是非常认真的——尽管你有七个月不跟我说话，但我依然爱你，我依然会在那里等你。
很明显，那是非常强烈的情感，但那对一段感情来说并不一定是好事，但那就是我对爱的看法，因为那是我在年轻的时候形成的想法。