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目前,以“教师命题—学生写作—教师批改—学生观看”的作文评改方式导致了学生作文兴趣低下、学生无自主评改习惯和能力、作文水平难以提高。教师“重改轻评”的英语作文批改和评价方式使教师耗时费力,学生从中也收效甚微。在课堂讲评中,教师未能从知识与技能获得的过程中培养学生的学习能力,未能从学生的内部发展需要激发学生对于作文点评的共鸣,以致学生对作文的讲评无动于衷。在作文讲评课上,教师往往对写得好的学生进行鼓励,对写得差的学生进行批评教育,这样容易使写得不好的学生心理上容易产生自卑感,觉得自己没能力写好,也就不去查找出错的原因,严重挫伤了学生的写作积极性和信心。
在我的写作评析课上,我力争做到突出针对性、运用赏识性、发挥主体性。做到一次讲评主要解决某一方面的问题,以积极、正面评价为主,多赞扬亮点,让学生多改,多互评,培养小组合作学习方式,取得了较好的成效。现以我教授的一节基础写作评析课为例,说明具体的课堂教学操作方法。
【写作内容】
假设你是李华,正在英国伯明翰大学学习,上个星期天去学校图书馆看书时发现以下问题,你用英语写信向馆长Mr. Smith反映:
1. 实用性的书、新书太少;
2. 书架上的书比较混乱;
3. 阅览室的光线模糊对视力有害;
4. 管理员工作时彼此闲聊。
【写作要求】
1. 只能使用5个句子表达全部内容;
2. 必须包括所有内容要点,可适当发挥,不要逐句翻译;
3. 开头及结尾已给出。(不计入字数)
【评分标准】
句子结构正确,信息内容完整,篇章结构连贯。
教学步骤一:学习评分标准
1.学习基础写作评分标准。
2. 呈现不同档次的作文,让学生对照评分标准和具体要求,对作文进行评价以及评分。
3. 教师评分示例与给分理由。教师对学生的评价作总结反馈,教师再作示范性分析,指出优点及不足,并给予评分。
4. 根据学到的评分规则,自评和同桌互评,并有针对性地修改。
教学步骤二:指导审题立意
引导学生思考:本文是一篇什么体裁的文章?要点包括哪几个方面?该如何选择时态?然后以轮换的方式进行互评,指出文体及篇章结构等方面的不足。
教学步骤三:纠正错误,尝试归类
1. 我摘录了学生习作中普遍性和典型性的错误,按词汇、时态语态、句子结构错误等方面进行归类,并将其打印在讲义学案上,最后由学生订正错误并分析原因,我适当给予指导和反馈。
学生习作中的典型错误分类如下:
(1)词汇错误
①单词拼写错误
pratical→practical,usely/used→useful,librarier→librarian,
eyesign→eyesight,alway→always,read room→reading-room
②词性、词义的误解误用
The books on the bookshelves are in confusion.
The books on the bookshelves are very mixed.
The books on the bookshelves are disorder.
③固定搭配的错误
The light in the reading room is so dark that it is bad at our eyes. (应把at改为for)
The librarians always talk about each other when they are working. (应把about改为with)
The light is not bright enough so that it does harm for our eyes. (应把for改为to)
(2)一致性原则方面的错误
①名词的单复数一致
There are few useful book and new book in our library. (应把两个book改为books)
②主谓一致
The books is out of order on the bookshelves. (应把is改为are)
③时态一致
The librarians chatted with each other while they are working. (应把are改为 were或chatted改为chat)
(3)连词方面的错误
Because the books on the bookshelves are in a mess,so the readers take a long time to find what they need. (应去掉because或 so)
Although there are some practical and new books in the library,but they can’t satisfy the reader’s need. (应去掉although 或but)
(4)错用一些高级句型
So dim the light in the reading room is that it does harm to readers’eyes.(应改为: So dim is the light in the reading room that it does harm to readers’ eyes.) The books being in a mess,so it is difficult for readers to find the books they want.(应改为: The books being in a mess,it is difficult for readers to find the books they want.)
(5)中式思维的句子
The practical books and new books are too few.
Our library has very few practical and new books.
2. 学生修改完句子错误后,我让他们在小组内交流修改的情况,并对不同意见以及未能做出修改的句子展开讨论。
3. 小组派代表汇报修改意见。我就同一个意义向学生征求多种表达方式,以激发学生的发散性思维。
教学步骤四:美句欣赏
1.我摘录学生习作中的精彩词句,注明其撰写者,将其打印在讲义学案上,然后师生共同分析佳句。通过课堂展示佳句,写出佳句的学生有了成就感,其他学生也会产生羡慕的心理,暗下决心要多尝试模仿,以提高写作质量。
(1)让学生对比和欣赏用词的精确之美
There are not many practical and new books enough for reading.(曹志敏)
There are not many practical and newly-published books in the library.(梁莹)
(2)让学生对比和欣赏语言的多变之美
The books on the bookshelves are out of order so that it is difficult for us to find the books we want.(陈木荣)
The books on the bookshelves are upside down so that it is difficult for us to find the books we want.(周鸿飞)
The books on the bookshelves are in a mess,which makes it for readers to find what they want.(黄晓津)
The books on the bookshelves are not sorted in a proper order,making it difficult for readers to find what they want.(潘晓丹)
(3)让学生欣赏语言的结构之美
The light in the reading room is so dark that it is bad for readers’eyesight.(唐熳)
So dim is the light in the reading room that it is harmful to readers’eyes. (吴丽)
The books on the bookshelves are in a mess,which makes it for readers to find what they want.(黄晓津)
The books on the bookshelves are not sorted in a proper order,making it difficult for readers to find what they want.(潘晓丹)
2. 学生将同学写出的优美词句与自己的相应表达进行对比,以体会高级词汇和较复杂句子结构的使用。
3. 我解释高级词汇和较复杂句子结构的用法并举例巩固,鼓励学生在以后的写作中尽量借鉴和运用优秀习作中的优美词句,变他人的知识为自己的知识。
教学步骤五:衔接过渡
我设计挖空学生的一篇优秀作文,让学生小组探讨给文章加上适当的连接语,让学生明白衔接语使得作文语意更连贯,表述更自然。
Dear Mr. Smith,
I am writing this letter to reflect some problems that I found in our library last Sunday._________,there are few new and practical books on the shelves,and most books are not popular today._______,some books are not sorted in a proper order,making it difficult for readers to find what they want quickly._______,the assistants didn’t offer good services.________,they always chat with each other while working. ______,poor light in the reading room has a greatly bad effect on readers’eyes. _____,for the sake of readers,I hope that you consider these problems and make some improvements.
Yours
Li Hua
教学步骤六:展示和分析学生优秀作文
1. 将优秀的学生习作复印在讲义学案上,让学生阅读,以读促评。
2. 学生阅读以上范文后,我要求各小组讨论该篇习作能得高分的原因,然后各小组派代表发表看法和体会。
S1:这篇作文用词的准确性很好,如practical,sorted,poor.
S2:作文中的衔接语运用得当,使得文章语意连贯,如to start with,next,in addition,instead,finally.
S3:作文中使用了现在分词作结果状语,如Next,some books are not sorted in a proper order,making it difficult for readers to find what they want quickly.
S4:作文中使用了省略句,如Instead,they always have a chat with each other while working.
3. 让学生欣赏范文。
4. 教师总结增强书面表达效果的技巧。
教学步骤七:巩固训练
设计一道与评析作文相似的题目,由学生当堂练习完成。
责任编辑 魏文琦
在我的写作评析课上,我力争做到突出针对性、运用赏识性、发挥主体性。做到一次讲评主要解决某一方面的问题,以积极、正面评价为主,多赞扬亮点,让学生多改,多互评,培养小组合作学习方式,取得了较好的成效。现以我教授的一节基础写作评析课为例,说明具体的课堂教学操作方法。
【写作内容】
假设你是李华,正在英国伯明翰大学学习,上个星期天去学校图书馆看书时发现以下问题,你用英语写信向馆长Mr. Smith反映:
1. 实用性的书、新书太少;
2. 书架上的书比较混乱;
3. 阅览室的光线模糊对视力有害;
4. 管理员工作时彼此闲聊。
【写作要求】
1. 只能使用5个句子表达全部内容;
2. 必须包括所有内容要点,可适当发挥,不要逐句翻译;
3. 开头及结尾已给出。(不计入字数)
【评分标准】
句子结构正确,信息内容完整,篇章结构连贯。
教学步骤一:学习评分标准
1.学习基础写作评分标准。
2. 呈现不同档次的作文,让学生对照评分标准和具体要求,对作文进行评价以及评分。
3. 教师评分示例与给分理由。教师对学生的评价作总结反馈,教师再作示范性分析,指出优点及不足,并给予评分。
4. 根据学到的评分规则,自评和同桌互评,并有针对性地修改。
教学步骤二:指导审题立意
引导学生思考:本文是一篇什么体裁的文章?要点包括哪几个方面?该如何选择时态?然后以轮换的方式进行互评,指出文体及篇章结构等方面的不足。
教学步骤三:纠正错误,尝试归类
1. 我摘录了学生习作中普遍性和典型性的错误,按词汇、时态语态、句子结构错误等方面进行归类,并将其打印在讲义学案上,最后由学生订正错误并分析原因,我适当给予指导和反馈。
学生习作中的典型错误分类如下:
(1)词汇错误
①单词拼写错误
pratical→practical,usely/used→useful,librarier→librarian,
eyesign→eyesight,alway→always,read room→reading-room
②词性、词义的误解误用
The books on the bookshelves are in confusion.
The books on the bookshelves are very mixed.
The books on the bookshelves are disorder.
③固定搭配的错误
The light in the reading room is so dark that it is bad at our eyes. (应把at改为for)
The librarians always talk about each other when they are working. (应把about改为with)
The light is not bright enough so that it does harm for our eyes. (应把for改为to)
(2)一致性原则方面的错误
①名词的单复数一致
There are few useful book and new book in our library. (应把两个book改为books)
②主谓一致
The books is out of order on the bookshelves. (应把is改为are)
③时态一致
The librarians chatted with each other while they are working. (应把are改为 were或chatted改为chat)
(3)连词方面的错误
Because the books on the bookshelves are in a mess,so the readers take a long time to find what they need. (应去掉because或 so)
Although there are some practical and new books in the library,but they can’t satisfy the reader’s need. (应去掉although 或but)
(4)错用一些高级句型
So dim the light in the reading room is that it does harm to readers’eyes.(应改为: So dim is the light in the reading room that it does harm to readers’ eyes.) The books being in a mess,so it is difficult for readers to find the books they want.(应改为: The books being in a mess,it is difficult for readers to find the books they want.)
(5)中式思维的句子
The practical books and new books are too few.
Our library has very few practical and new books.
2. 学生修改完句子错误后,我让他们在小组内交流修改的情况,并对不同意见以及未能做出修改的句子展开讨论。
3. 小组派代表汇报修改意见。我就同一个意义向学生征求多种表达方式,以激发学生的发散性思维。
教学步骤四:美句欣赏
1.我摘录学生习作中的精彩词句,注明其撰写者,将其打印在讲义学案上,然后师生共同分析佳句。通过课堂展示佳句,写出佳句的学生有了成就感,其他学生也会产生羡慕的心理,暗下决心要多尝试模仿,以提高写作质量。
(1)让学生对比和欣赏用词的精确之美
There are not many practical and new books enough for reading.(曹志敏)
There are not many practical and newly-published books in the library.(梁莹)
(2)让学生对比和欣赏语言的多变之美
The books on the bookshelves are out of order so that it is difficult for us to find the books we want.(陈木荣)
The books on the bookshelves are upside down so that it is difficult for us to find the books we want.(周鸿飞)
The books on the bookshelves are in a mess,which makes it for readers to find what they want.(黄晓津)
The books on the bookshelves are not sorted in a proper order,making it difficult for readers to find what they want.(潘晓丹)
(3)让学生欣赏语言的结构之美
The light in the reading room is so dark that it is bad for readers’eyesight.(唐熳)
So dim is the light in the reading room that it is harmful to readers’eyes. (吴丽)
The books on the bookshelves are in a mess,which makes it for readers to find what they want.(黄晓津)
The books on the bookshelves are not sorted in a proper order,making it difficult for readers to find what they want.(潘晓丹)
2. 学生将同学写出的优美词句与自己的相应表达进行对比,以体会高级词汇和较复杂句子结构的使用。
3. 我解释高级词汇和较复杂句子结构的用法并举例巩固,鼓励学生在以后的写作中尽量借鉴和运用优秀习作中的优美词句,变他人的知识为自己的知识。
教学步骤五:衔接过渡
我设计挖空学生的一篇优秀作文,让学生小组探讨给文章加上适当的连接语,让学生明白衔接语使得作文语意更连贯,表述更自然。
Dear Mr. Smith,
I am writing this letter to reflect some problems that I found in our library last Sunday._________,there are few new and practical books on the shelves,and most books are not popular today._______,some books are not sorted in a proper order,making it difficult for readers to find what they want quickly._______,the assistants didn’t offer good services.________,they always chat with each other while working. ______,poor light in the reading room has a greatly bad effect on readers’eyes. _____,for the sake of readers,I hope that you consider these problems and make some improvements.
Yours
Li Hua
教学步骤六:展示和分析学生优秀作文
1. 将优秀的学生习作复印在讲义学案上,让学生阅读,以读促评。
2. 学生阅读以上范文后,我要求各小组讨论该篇习作能得高分的原因,然后各小组派代表发表看法和体会。
S1:这篇作文用词的准确性很好,如practical,sorted,poor.
S2:作文中的衔接语运用得当,使得文章语意连贯,如to start with,next,in addition,instead,finally.
S3:作文中使用了现在分词作结果状语,如Next,some books are not sorted in a proper order,making it difficult for readers to find what they want quickly.
S4:作文中使用了省略句,如Instead,they always have a chat with each other while working.
3. 让学生欣赏范文。
4. 教师总结增强书面表达效果的技巧。
教学步骤七:巩固训练
设计一道与评析作文相似的题目,由学生当堂练习完成。
责任编辑 魏文琦